I think he’s doing a great job. Don’t let your family’s comments get to you. I 100% agree with all the comments I read here - if the roles were reversed and he was working and you stayed at home there’d be no issue. With that gender role mentality still lingering around, it makes it even harder for a man to stay home and do that job and be proud of it, and parenting is the hardest job of all. Show him some appreciation, he deserves it. It is hard as hell for a man not to be the breadwinner and in control. He will find a job one day and your kids will be with a stranger and you will miss these days. Your baby is blessed for being able to be raised by a parent (mom or dad) and anyone that thinks otherwise should probably mind their own business and find a hobby…if you’re happy that’s all that matters, don’t listen to what anyone says.
He is definitely contributing if he watches all the kids. Daycare is expensive and you know they are safe with him!
I don’t think it should matter what anyone else thinks. What do you think about it? Does the situation work well for your relationship? Are both of you happy? Are the kids happy?
Too many times we try to fit our lives into someone else’s mold.
If you are happy, that’s what matters.
If you think he should get a full time job, taking into consideration the cost of daycare, the added expense of transportation, etc. - not to mention that your children will receive better care at home - plus the time you both will have to spend cleaning & cooking & doing laundry, etc., which is time spent away from your children … then speak with him about getting a full time job.
It’s rare that a family can financially survive on anything less than 2 full time jobs … I think if I were you, I’d count my blessings. The early years are so important for children, and I believe it’s better if a parent can spend the first few years at home if it’s possible - and it doesn’t matter which parent. Of course, your relationship is yours to have, any way you choose. Make decisions based on what works for the two of you & the children, not based on what other people think you should or shouldn’t do.
They need to mind their own and not be putting shit in your head. It’s no different if he worked all week and you stayed home with the child. If it works for you guys and you all are doing good and in love forget what people say. That’s why people aren’t happy any more. They are scared of what others think or will think or too scared to leave cause they are afraid to be happy.
So long as he pays for his essentials and clothes and shoes etc and contributes to the baby things then you don’t have a problem. It when you have to pay for everything including all his stuff, Then that would be a problem. But seems you have both worked it out well. So tell everyone else to butt out because its between the 2 of you.
Sounds like a GREAT MAN!!! 
Your family is the problem. Everyone has a opinion and it’s best to just smile and nod and then brush it off. We all get irritated when opinions are given without being asked for. Me and my husband deal with it all the time. Do whatever makes you and your husband happy and let the family complain about it all they want. They will get over it.
Define he makes enough to pay his own bils.
I think someone has to do what he’s doing and all of that IS a job. Taking care of home & caring for kids is a lot of work and I see it as an equal contribution. Don’t let what others have to say about it bother you. It’s not their life anyways. 
Hey if he is at least contributing something then who cares …its not all about money!!
I reckon you git yourself a keeper
Don’t feel afraid to stand up for what you believe in against your relatives
But I guess first you gotta ask yourself what do you believe ?
It wouldn’t gwt to you as much if you wouldn’t believe that some of what they say is true to you
That’s where your work lies
Girl don’t let what ANYONE thinks disrupt ur peace. If UR HAPPY and THE KIDS are happy healthy and LOVED that IS ALL that matters. Tell ur family to get them some business and stay outta urs.
Absolutely nothing wrong …he works weekends and covers his bills and he is taking care of little ones and sure saving you money for day care …don’t let others bother you …this is your life and they are not living it …you are 
If you were a stay at home mom, that’s what you would be doing. It’s your business. What difference does it make which one if you is doing the stay at home thing?
Tell him to join Stay At Home Parents! Or Stay At Home Dads (clearly I’m not apart of the 2nd group)
There is nothing wrong with either parent staying home. What we works for your home works for your home. If gender roles don’t apply that’s fine. As long as you both love each other and have a safe and healthy relationship and environment that’s all that matters
Isn’t this what stay at home mums do? Sounds like the poor guy can’t win.
If roles were reversed and this was a woman it would be ok. So as long as he is helping with what he can and tending to your kid, and there are no other issues, he is ok. My bf is remodeling a home we bought and helps when he can with our kids but generally it falls on me. Now when we live together if it continues then we will have issues. But as of now since i lack the skills to fix a house, i will sit back and do what I know.
My husband was a stay at home dad for 5 years while I worked full time and when I became disabled unable to work anymore we switched roles now he works full time and im a stay at home mom. Honestly there is nothing wrong with that everyone is going to have opinions about it. Eventho he doesn’t work full time he still does things around the house and contributes in some way
My partner is a stay at home dad and he kills it. You should brag to your family how invaluable he is as an active father and tell them to mind the business that pays them.
Your family sounds very umm “old fashioned” if you will. There’s nothing wrong with him staying home. If he is contributing in any way, and you’re okay with it, let it be. Your family is your family, but ultimately, their opinion of what you got going on with your BD is irrelevant. If it works for y’all than it doesn’t matter what they say, yanno?
Stay at home parent, male or female, is work. Cooking, cleaning, childcare. It’s all hard. It is work. It is taking pressure off of you. It is contributing to the well-being of the household.
Contribution comes in many forms, not just financially. It is an extremely traditional and outdated thought process to believe that a man’s only role is to provide financially outside of the home. It’s very sexist to say it’s OK and acceptable for a woman but not a man. You have to determine what you deem to be appropriate and acceptable contributions to your own family.
My husband worked for years. I went to college and got my degree in something I love and now I work and he stays home. He is involved completely with our children, takes them to school and picks them up, cooks, cleans, handles all appointments. He contributes just as much as I do. Because there is one parent always in the house we don’t need child care and one of us is always with them.
What would your family say if you were a stay at home mom? I think if each person contributes what’s the problem? Would they prefer you pay for daycare so he can go work full time and put his money towards that instead?
I’d tell them thanks but no thanks. Didn’t ask for their opinion.
He’s amazing and if you don’t want him send him my way!
Ok but in all seriousness your family sound like they are old fashioned and narrow minded. If it were me I’d go off on them honestly. But my therapist has told me that’s a nono. Apparently you’re supposed to talk about it like “adults” so I guess do the opposite of what I would do? Maybe message them and explain to them that the comments made towards him and about him are uncalled for. It’s your relationship and there’s no reason for them to make themselves apart of it. Tell them you will appreciate it if they just left you alone about it and support you or leave.
I mean, if it’s working for you guys then fuck what everybody else is saying. Next time ask them which bill they’re paying since they want to have an opinion on how your household is ran. 
that’s how I’ve got my family and friends to stop in the past.
If you all r OK financially, kids r happy, & don’t NEED any OTHER income than what’s the difference in the man or the woman taking the role of being the stay at home parent or bread winner, as they call it?
It’s not your family’s business. If it works for you that he takes care of the kids and home then that’s great. Saves on child care and the home is taken care off. If your family keeps it up ask them what they would say if it was the other way around.
Additional comments, if he is working he should contribute to bills if u both plan on being partners
My opinion is… Is your relationship their business?
Seriously, I know they’re family… but you have created your own family, that’s number 1… your relationship is NOT their business…
He contributes in MANY other ways and every family is different.
Just because it’s not how THEY feel it should be doesn’t mean crap… you’re happy, you’re loved, you’re safe, your kids are loved and safe, no ones going homeless or starving… right??
Why are they so comfortable butting into your relationship and YOUR family? I get that they care, but you need to set boundaries and enforce them… stand up for your man! If the situation were reversed and you were a sahm and his family was doing this to you… … … you’d expect him to put his foot down. Goes both ways momma.
Hugs!
He works to pay his own bills so you dont have to…im sure if you needed more money then he would work more …if he is looking after kids helping with chores that right there is a bonus…you go girl…
You aren’t paying for child care and he is being an actual parent. If it works for you screw what anyone else says.
Sounds like a stay at home parent. A penis doesn’t change that role. 
As long as he is contributing his part I don’t see any issues. I’ve had that before but I prefer someone that will work instead. None of the kids needs a SAHParent
Do what works for your life. If he is trying by contributing and it’s fitting to YOU why does your family’s opinion matter?
Tell your family to mind their business.
My husband is a stay at home dad . That wad my choice it’s where I needed him the most.
You should be boasting about your man who works and stays home and takes care of everything while you work. I mean its no different than if you stayed home and worked part time really is it. He is still contributing to the home and the family. Personally I feel you need to nip this in the bud asap and tell your family straight. What they are doing/saying is wrong, unfair and downright toxic.
If it works for you, do it. Doesn’t matter, if you make enough for your needs then great.
Sounds like yous have just switched roles. Which is totally fine. He’s the stay at home parent. He takes care of the home you take care of the finances.
Personally if they are doing all the house stuff for me then I’m fine with paying the bills. But that depends on y’all, not everyone feels the same. It’s no one’s business but yalls.
Daycare cost a lot if he Lao helps with laundry and cleaning and cooking. A house mom would cost about 1-2000$ a month and you’d hVe to give them a room as well. So you work during the week and he works at home taking care of the house. And when you don’t work he works right ?
Would they look down on you if you stayed home and he worked full time? If you love your job and he has the ability to pick up the slack which in the long run saves money. Than that’s all you have to say. Hugs. Stand your ground. He does work full time he takes care of the house and he works weekends and does t cost you anything in his bills.
If your comfortable with the little job he has and staying home with the chillins while your at work then it’s all good. Don’t let people get to you. If your both comfortable then that’s all that counts. Tell people to shut there piehole!!!
That’s a big hell no
Sounds like a good trade off, HOWEVER if it’s your own home I would be protecting myself by ensuring he can’t benefit financially from it should your relationship not work out in the long run. He may not be contributing financially towards it now, but he could claim a share of it later.
Your family has no business putting negative thoughts in your head. Do you sweetie he’s trying.
If the roles were reversed no one would say anything I don’t understand what the big deal is? He’s taking care of the house duties as well as the kids. He’s putting in work at home even if it’s not financially
At least he’s being there and helping around the house and still has a job
I wouldn’t let you’re family get in the way
Would they feel different if it was him working full time and you only on the weekends? Does this work for yall? If it does, then you need to just live your life. Enjoy it.
My brother was the main one working when he married and started having kids with his wife. She worked as well. Then my brother had a car fall on him and had to fight to get on disability. She worked full-time and even overtime as needed. He cooked, cleaned, did laundry, and homeschooled their 5 kids.
I don’t see a problem with it as long as the bills are getting paid and everything is taken care of. To say a man being a stay at home dad is wrong is to say a woman being a stay at home mom is wrong because men and women are supposed to be equal these days. Just my two cents.
I think I can speak for every woman ever and say if he’s a stay at home dad and works on top of it then you’ve hit the jackpot, so what he only works weekends, he’s actually doing his job as a dad. Girl marry him!
Sounds like a keeper to me if you can afford it
If he can be a stay at home dad and you guys will be OK financially, then do it. Taking care of children and a home is more than a full time job.
My husband was a sahd for 20 years. Worked for us 
idgaf what anyone thinks about it.
Yeah if it helps your family that there is one parent able to be there for your kids that is wonderful !
Nothing wrong with that… he helps you were you need it.
Honestly I think that’s awesome! It saves on the cost of daycare, and he’s doing things around the house that seems to lessen your load. It’s not the “norm” and so be it… I have a cousin who is a sahd and it works for them…
I, personally, couldn’t afford to support a fully grown man and my 3 children comfortably. I work from home myself and my kids are alot older, so there’s no need to have a stay at home parent in my household. So. Yeah. If we’re living together, your ass is working and paying half the household bills
Figure out how much you save in daycare costs and add in how much time he saves you on housework. If he were working full time and you were working his hours would your family be OK with that? If you and your guy are happy with the finances then your family’s opinions don’t matter. It is your life not their’s.
What’s the difference 
if you were a stay at home mom would you be asking these questions? Tell you family to back off and shut up its not the 1940s anymore sometimes men are stay at home dads to and if it works with yoir family unit then there’s nothing wrong with it.
As long as he fulfils the home role (cooking, cleaning, childcare etc.) Why should it be an issue? It’s what a SAHM would do.
You do what works best for you. Your family needs to keep their comments to themselves. if your both happy and this is working for you both then keep doing what your doing… and be happy that he’s so involved with baby because it’s rare.
I think if it’s a conversation you had and it was what was discussed for your family then who cares what other say… if bills are paid and is working for your family. If he’s living there and the conversation was not had and he’s not contributing financially and you have asked… then that’s a problem. At the end of the day no one pays your bills or lives your life so do what works for you… but make sure it is a conversation you and your partner have had and it’s what works for both of you… because if it’s not that’s where the problem lies… not others opinions.
If it works for you guys then what’s the problem? He still helps with his bills, takes care of the home and a good dad. As long as you guys are happy
Whatever works for you is what’s right 
Personally, gender is irrelevant. I’m not wasting time on anyone who isn’t working or in school and is physically able to be. And working PT voluntarily as a parent is not acceptable, imo. And if he’s living with you, the household bills are his as well. And if he’s not contributing to the household bills while choosing to work PT, he’d have to work more or get out. Unless his working would create more bills, ie daycare, than his potential income would bring in.
If he wasnt home you would need to pay a sitter. Although helping i financially would be nice. So… my advice is talk with him about it. Why doesn’t he work full time? And tell your family for you this works and mind their own business.
His a good man you are lucky I’m sure if he had a full time job he would do it
How about you only worry about what works for you and your significant other? Our parents are never going to completely 100% understand or agree about our choice for our significant other. If this is what works for you two, that is ALL that matters. Tell them that. Childcare is expensive too, so one of you would basically be paying for childcare for him to work full time, and unless they’re willing to contribute to babysitting or childcare expenses, then 
At the risk of sounding like the ahole, but what if the roles were reversed? What if it was you with just the weekend job and living in his house. Women never get slammed or judged for it, why should the men! He is helping out with half the bills, he is helping out with the baby stuff. You must of also known what he was like before he moved in.
It is not all about financials. If he is almost a stay at home dad then why but him down? Would they be doing the same if it was you as a women? Or just because he is a man he has to be the bread winner ?
He’s a sahd and covers his own bills. I would say he’s definitely doing his part.
If he stays home with baby why should he have to contribute? If this were a SAHM nobody would be saying she should go to work instead of staying home with the babies. Him raising your baby is a full time job, and he is working on weekends still. That’s a lot. And I commend him for being such an involved dad.
Stay at home dads are a thing…jfc how would we be reacting if this was a guy posting this
Would it be any different if it was a mum staying home with the kid? Someone’s got to do it unless you want to fork out for daycare . A child being with the parent is far more beneficial for it than daycare.
Ohh the old fashion gender roles
25% of stay at home parents are now dads according to something I read ages ago… Who cares what other people think about it? Also you said that he covers his own bills, so he is helping financially.
Appreciate and love him. Period.
He is saving you so much money if the baby isn’t in daycare. So many people work just to afford daycare, but he is getting time with the baby.
If this was the other way around with you staying home and him working, would there be an issue? Likely not. It’s only because it’s against the stereotype of the female staying home.
As long as all bills are being paid who cares if he doesn’t have a full time job
What are you comfortable with?! That is the question you should be asking yourself. He apparently hasn’t added a financial burden to you. You said he works part time and pays his own bills. And if he didn’t take care of the baby while you work you would have to have daycare. Do what makes the 2 of you happy and don’t let other people try to dictate how you live. If they don’t contribute to your living situation then it is strictly your choice.
Bloody Brilliant, your support does not always have to be financial, to me love for his family is way more important, how many times were women put down because they were the the home maker and not the breadwinner, in the past we were the servants and not appreciated. I love the guy and I don’t know anything about him except or what you have told me
He basically is a sahd. The roles are just reversed here and if it something that you are both ok with then no one’s else’s opinion should matter
If it works for you and him, then keep doing whatever works. Don’t let your family get into your head, because that’s the quickest way to ruin everything good you have with him.
You are blessed dont let the haters get in your head. Babies wont need him at home full time forever. Focus on the memories not missed money
Don’t make a problem where there ant one
Ask your family if they’d have the same opinion if you were a stay at home mum. Nothing wrong with the dads being the parent that stays home to look after the babies
so here is a dose of reality. if he gets a full time job, you will have to paid halt of the fulltime childcare for your newborn, n him the other halft. most likely you guys will jave tl start to divide all chores. most likely nonw of ypi gius will have full nigths rest. trust me it gets super stressfull. i think for now he needs to contibie be a stay at home dad until your kod can go to preschool. newborns n then todlers are a lpttttt of work.
If it works for you then ignore the rest
also keep in momd payimg chikscare for an infamt typically cost tge same as a momth of rent
Well to be honest if he is the one taking care of the house and the baby seems that he in fact has a JOB , your bills will stay the same if he move out and you will probably have to pay for child care.
Women do this all the time and is completely acceptable.
To be honest he seems like he is a keeper, stop listen to your family bullshit and non sense comments .
If it works for you both no one else needs to have a say!
So he stays home with baby, cooks & cleans while you work & pay the bills. What would your family’s opinion be if genders were reversed?
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You’ve said yourself, he’s the stay home dad basically. He does contribute.i think if can afford to do it. You’ve basically just flipped roles, if he worked aswell you’d have childcare so technically he is contributing just no money exchanged.
Is he watching the baby when you are working?
If he was sitting around the house not doing anything of the home duties or parenting, as well as not contributing financially… Then I would say there is a problem there. But he isn’t. There is nothing wrong with being a full time dad so mum can work!!! What’s the other option…? You both work full time and put bubs in day care? If he is actively looking after the baby and putting in his efforts around the house - don’t question that!!!
Is your situation working for you? Cuz if it is, tell the rest of the family to politely mind their business!! 
I think a man should help with cooking and cleaning and raising his children AND have a full time job. I personally wouldn’t want to be with someone who only worked a couple of days with no reason not to have a real job. Sure he could be a stay at home dad but that’s only a temporary thing, he needs to get a full time job when the baby is older.
Unless he has a physical or mental impairment, he needs to be working full time. There’s no excuses for that. Taking care of the baby, cooking, etc are everyday tasks he should be doing anyway, along with working help support the household. That’s a man’s role. Tell him to get a job or else!!
How do they know he doesn’t contribute
Omg im legit going through the same with my dad my fiance is a drain tech so he doesnt work every single day but every other week or so a HUGEEE job comes and hes bringing in a couple thousand dollar pay check but my dad seems to have it in his head my man doesn’t work at all and sits on his ass all day doing nothing while im out working… Hes taking care of OUR baby and I want to freakin work im independent i HAVE to work… Right now its what works for us and i wish my dad would chill but hes very old school farm raised so I can see why he feels things should be reversed but in this day and age he needs to get with the times😂