Sounds like what i did when my children were young
In my opinion a relationship is a 50/50 deal no matter how you work it out. Itās great that he helps with the baby and the household chores but he needs to contribute to 50% of the rest as wellā¦mortgage, food, utilities etc and if he canāt do that only working weekends then he needs to work more hours. You say he works just enough to cover his own billsā¦well rent, food and utilities are his bills too. You have your bills, he has his bills and then there are household billsā¦.which is 1/2 of his responsibility. Donāt let him get use to living free gradis or heāll never contribute financially. Most men would be embarrassed not to 
2 Likes
You are so impressionable, your relationship isnāt going to work if you are that easily manipulated by your family. Stop and think for yourself.
4 Likes
No one elseās businessā¦
2 Likes
Child care for 40 hours a week in my state Child care can cost around $15,000 a year and thats for ONE child under 2. Add that to your 2 older ones thats roughly $40,000 a year in Child care for 3 kids 40 hours a week 8 hours a day. If you have a Nanny in your home they range around $21-$25 AN HOUR. Your family can mind their damn business unless they want to foot that bill. If you believe this is fair and the system works for you, the rest of everyone else can butt out and if youāre THAT impressionable then youāre going eff yourself over, period.
If you are happy with how he contributes then dont let it get you down, the fact he is working and supporting you with everyday things that would stress you having to fit in whilst working full time is lovely and thoughtful
He is helping you by allowing you to live a little less of a stressful life.
If the role was reversed you working part time and he working full time Iām sure he would appreciate all you have done regardless of the income xx
If it works for you it is no one elseās business, just tell them he works from home, and if you feel the need to explain to others let them know the things he does to make your life easier and what it would cost if you had to pay. No one else needs to be in your relationship.
1 Like
God designed men to be the bread-winners and woman the bread-makers 
That is why He gave us wombs and breasts ā¦
Any man who does not support his family is a mooch; do you want your children to grow up thinking women should be taking care of men?
Sounds like heās a full time dad.
Do what works for your family. NOT what works for your parents.
9 Likes
Stay home dads are no less valuable than stay home moms. Ignore the opinions and comments of others whose opinions and comments dont matter. Its your life and household not theirs for them to say what you guys should do. If you were the stay home mom and he was providing with the full time job as you are, would people be getting in your head about you not providing financially as a stay home mom? Probably not.
6 Likes
It is no one elseās business. Do what works for your family. How much would daycare be if he worked during the week too? It isnāt like he changed. You were fine with it while dating and got pregnant?
3 Likes
A lot of dadās are stay-at-home dadās
4 Likes
Sounds like heās a stay at home dad with a part time jobā¦ why is this any different than a stay at home mom with a part time job?
15 Likes
The only person you have to please in your life is you!
2 Likes
As long as he is helping with the child and covering his won bills who cares? You mentioned him buying things the child needs, thatās more than what most women get from the father of their kids and heās there putting in an effort to take care of the child. Quit letting other people dictate your view of him
1 Like
Well if heās a stay at home dad, heās helping a lot. You said he cleans , cooks and takes care of the baby. Besides your family comments what do you think and feel? Does this work for you ?
1 Like
Hey, whatever works for you!
If it works for you itās no oneās business
If the roles were reversed? Not their business. He is āsavingā money by having the kids while you work. Would they prefer your infant be in daycare?
4 Likes
I wouldnāt worry about what nobody say it not the business. Keep doing what you doing
3 Likes
What are your thoughts on stay at home momsā¦who donāt contribute financially? But take care of kids and housework?
If youāre ok with thatā¦then you should be ok with dadās being stay at home parents too.
Or did we all forget how equality works?
17 Likes
Would this even be a question if it was a SAHMā¦wow! Sounds like we are stuck in the 30s. Thereās more SAHD now than ever.
4 Likes
If it works for you is none of your familyās business (unless they are financially supporting you). Iād love for my husband to stay home and cook and clean 
2 Likes
If he can hold the weight of being a stay at home parent, then let him. Sounds like heās doing everything he can including working a bit to help support his bills. Sounds like you should ignore the family comments because heās doing the most for the current situation. Now if he was refusing to do any of the home things including helping with children that would be a different story.
2 Likes
Nobody elses buisness!
Think about the future, are you going to be ok with this 2 years or 5 years down the road because this is what you are setting yourself and children up for you deserve better
Hes working full time if heās staying home with kids and there is value in that even though he doesnāt earn a paycheck for it. And then goes to work on the weekends to earn enough to help cover himself and some extras. Donāt worry about what others say, itās not their life. Theyāre obviously old school in thinking the man should be the sole provider but itās a new age and there is nothing wrong with him being a stay at home dad.
7 Likes
If your happy with that life then itās no oneās business. Heās contributing. If itās not the kind of life you want then thatās the decision you need to make for yourself. The only two people who decide whats best for your relationship is you and your significant other.
All that matters is that yāall are happy who cares what other people think.
Everyone has a different idea of bliss. You live yours. What ever that looks like.
If heās more than pulling his weight with taking care of the kids (even the kids who arenāt his), keeping the house clean, cooking, AND works PT on the weekends to cover HIS bills then whatās the problem? At least you donāt have to pay for a babysitter or a daycare while youāre at work. Why is it okay for women to be SAHMās but barely do anything at home but yet a man stays home and does it all and itās suddenly a big deal for a lot of people?
The point of a relationship isnāt to have someone help financially, but to have a partner. Which it sounds like he is holding up to being a partner. If it bothers you then change it. If it doesnāt and the way things are work for you then tell people to mind their own business.
7 Likes
Add up child care and cost of extra tasks he does that if you were alone would have to pay or take time away from work to do . I bet his value is substantial.
1 Like
What do you think about it? If you are ok with how things are then tell everyone else to worry about themselves and you do you. Donāt let others tell you if you are okay or not with your life. You do what works for you and makes you happy.
1 Like
Well i would tell them to mind their own buisness and good job dad Iām proud of you
When a woman is a sahm of 3 and one a newborn, and works weekends people will ask how sheās able to function, but when itās a man this is wrong!? He is taking care of two kids that arenāt his plus his own infant and keeping up the house and such; you better keep him. When your family starts paying your bills then and only then are they entitled to tell you how to live. Nothing wrong with being a sahd!
2 Likes
If itās working for both of you then keep going! Just ignore the negative comments from family and friends.
1 Like
Howās that any different if your roles were reversed?? Iām a stay at home mom and my husband is our sole provider bc that what works for us while our kids are young and we are in good financial play to do so. I think thatās great that he takes care of the baby while you work - if thatās what works for you guys - I mean, why work just so you can pay for daycare? Baby is at home with a parent who loves them. Tell your family you appreciate their concern but this is what works for you and your little family. He doesnāt impose his bills on you, he takes care of that himself so they need to STFU
Coming form someone who lost their significant otherā¦money isnāt everything, unless you struggleā¦you will never get back the chance to spend with your loved onesā¦if you both are happyā¦maybe you can tell the others to come help you with the house and your baby,while your boyfriend gets a job. That will probably quiet themā¦
The only person who should have opinion about your relationship and the way you live your life are you and your partner if youāre happy and satisfied with the way things are then I donāt know why anybody else should have a problem with the fact that you are in a reverse roles itās 2022. You said he takes care of his own bills with what money he does make and that he cooks cleans and takes care of your children while you work full time no one should look down on him he should get just as much praise as any stay at home mother does.
2 Likes
If heās helping while you work and not being a bum then I see no problem with it. I earn a lot more than my husband (both full time) but we donāt care about any of that. We work as a team and it sounds like you do too. Tell your family that youāre happy and that itās none of their business.
3 Likes
It donāt matter what we think
It donāt matter what other think
It matters if your happy.
My friends husband is gone for weeks at a time working they are happy. I would not be.
My husband is a homebody and never goes out. But allows me to do whatever I want when ever I want. That would not work for every relationship.
Personal Iām the one who works part time and takes care of the house and kids and he pays all the bills.
It works for us we are happy.
Itās finding whoās perfect for you.
2 Likes
When youāre paying for 3 kids in daycare, youāll realize how much he is worth by staying home.
1 Like
As long as he is pulling his weight in other ways then it shouldnāt matter. Being a stay at home parent is a full time job and you should be thankful that he is doing the house stuff and saving you from it and not costing the household daycare expenses. So letās really think about this, he stays home all day and takes care of the house and his child while you work and then on the weekends goes to work to help out with money too. How is this a bad thing. He is doing everyday without a day off so if be pretty thankful.
2 Likes
If heās doing the house work and child care and working pt to cover his own expenses then it sounds like heās helping just fine. Sounds like they just want you to be the one staying home.
2 Likes
He stays home with the baby so you donāt have to find daycare or babysitters? Is a great dad??? Wtf is wrong with this
1 Like
If youāre okay with that situation I would keep it the way it is but I would not under any circumstance put his name on anything
3 Likes
If that works for the two of you then it works. It is Noone elseās business who works and who does what within your household. I would suggest politely telling your family to mind their own business instead of yours and stand up for your man before it turns into an issue within your relationship. Other peopleās opinions, especially people we care about, tend to weigh heavy on our mind and make us question things that we never thought we would question. If he is good to you and good to that baby, and helps out how he can, then everyone else can sit and spin. 
If itās not broke donāt try to fix it . What matters is what you two feel and think.
1 Like
First advice, donāt let anyone, family, friends, fb or otherwise define the value of your man and what he brings to a relationship.
Although there are traditional expectations, itās really up to you and yours to determine what expectations you both set for each other. I know alot of people assume roles or assume expectations or are passive in them, but really have a coming together discussion on what those expectations are. My marriage is a tug and pull. We both carry weight in the relationship and donāt hold finances as a gauge of value. We also donāt hold on to gender roles in our house. Some weeks Iām busier or overwhelmed and he carries the kids responsibilities and some house hold responsibilities or vice versa. But we do ānegotiateā or compromise with each other to ensure one isnāt feeling that they have a heavier load and be respectful that mental load of being with the kids can sometimes be more than mental load of a job.
For reference I am currently the breadwinner. He has in the past been the head of house, but again we go back and forth like a democratic relationship lol
Hope you find a balance that works for you two, and try and relieve that pressure of your familyās expectations by setting healthy boundries with them. Advice is welcomed but ridicule will not be entertained.
3 Likes
My husband works part time because Iām medically retired. We have a kid in braces and with ADHD and take care of my mom. He handles all the appointments and errands, along with a lot of things around the house. Working full time just isnāt in the cards. Its what works for you.
That is worth itās weight in gold. If you had to pay someone to do tese things, it would be very expensive. Tell your family to help or step down on the criticism. You guys do you!
3 Likes
Technically heās contributing. He may not have money but at least heās not sitting on his ass all day. He helps take care of the kids and the house, and you mentioned he pays his own bills. If he gets a full time job youāll have to put your kids in daycare. Daycare is so expensive! You have a good man donāt let your family ruin your relationship.
I mean if your children donāt need daycare so you can work full time. And your partner cares for the kids, cleaning, cooking, errands, and still works part time. I donāt see the problem. If the situation were reversed I donāt think people would be judging it. And your baby is so young. This isnāt permanent. When your child is older and starts pre school you can reevaluate schedules and finances. He may even already have a job change and pay raise by then.
1 Like
My husband only works weekends and stays home with our 2 and 4 yr old. We are happy and thatās all that matters. If your happy and it works donāt let others ruin that for you. Iāve done they sahm and its a really hard job. So Iām very grateful to have him
3 Likes
I donāt see a problem with this. Isnāt this what women have always done. Stay at home and look after the family. Itās just role reversal. If it works for you thatās what counts
1 Like
If the roles were reversed nothing would be mentioned about the female being a stay at home mum so Iām not understanding what the problem is if he is staying home taking care of the house and the baby?
4 Likes
Pick your battles if he worked full time he probably wouldnāt help around the house and you would have to pay for child care
2 Likes
Doesnāt matter what we think
If it works for you two
Than who cares
3 Likes
How blessed you are hes stay at home and working weekends sound awesome!! But as always do what works for you bothā¦ take care
2 Likes
If we can be stay home moms then the man can be a stay at home fatherā¦ if he helps well and does what he has to around the houseā¦ I donāt see a problemā¦ tell ppl to mind their businessā¦
5 Likes
My husband is an amazing stay at home daddy who I insisted quit his full time job that was wearing on him physically and emotionally. My babies get their daddy while Iām working and not a daycare or stranger, and we get more time together. Youāre family doesnāt ālive your lifeā or in your home, donāt let their opinions dictate a what appears to be functioning and stable/happy situation. If you arenāt happy with it, change it, if itās working, stay the course.
2 Likes
Sounds like itās working for you all, tell your fam to mind their own damn business
What this man is doing for the family is priceless. Heās a keeper! 
1 Like
If heās providing child care thatās great. Iād let the comments slide.
My husband has been stay at home dad for the last 5 years. Married 10
1 Like
Sounds like a great guy. If he wasnāt being a great dad and doing house work, that would be the time to ask yourself questions.
1 Like
My thoughts are the same as with a stay at home mom. What they contribute is invaluable. You can put him to work full time and pay for a babysitter and housekeeper and the two of you do the cooking. I bet you donāt come out ahead!
2 Likes
You just said he contributes by paying his own bills, helping at home and with kids and buys their necessities, ect so how is this not contributing financially? You donāt need daycare either, he IS contributing in the most valuable ways! Iād be ok with it honestly but you and him need to be discussing it if it bothers you that much.
5 Likes
If you are ok with it that is all that matters
1 Like
Are stay at home moms expected to contribute financially or would everyone in this group jump on a man if he ever insinuated that her staying home taking care of the kids isnāt enough contribution? The same should apply for a guy.
6 Likes
Do people say the same about stay-at-home moms???
4 Likes
Sounds like the same old disrespect women get for being stay at home moms. He sounds like a keeperā£ļø
6 Likes
If heās a stay at home dad and works part time, heās a keeper!
7 Likes
Wow! If it works for your family that is wonderful. He sounds like a wonderful partner!
3 Likes
This doesnāt come off as sexi$t at all 
If it works for yāall then itās fine. You wouldnāt look down on a stay at home mom, so donāt look down on a stay at home dad
3 Likes
Thatās between you two
2 Likes
I was just having this conversation with someone else. How is it okay for a mother to be a stay at home mom and not contribute but its completely frowned upon when a father wants to be a stay at home dad? People really need to stop frowning on things like this. As long as hes helping with the kid(s) and helping with cooking, cleaning ect and if hes paying his own bills then it shouldnt matter as long as youre okay with that.
7 Likes
If you are okay w it then THATS what mattersā¦ moms do it, why canāt dads? Thatās my take on it! Hope it works itself out.
Sometimes our families opinions get in the way of what really matters & we gotta learn to ignore it/put a stop to it OR sometimes even end that relationshipā¦ family or not. Also, Iāve learned to keep me & hubbyās business, OUR BUSINESS. Cause theyāll always, for the most part usually, side w you on the matter vs him & usually will always have your back over himā¦ so thereās that too. Good luck!
2 Likes
If he loves you and your babies and you are able to afford for him to stay home then who cares what anyone else thinks
2 Likes
Is he helping as a stay at home Dad?? Is he contributing to the household financially? Most important: are you Happy ?? If you answered yes to all three then tell people toā¦ ( sorry, canāt say that) bugger off
Heās just a stay at home dad so whatās the problem if you feel both are contributing in the way that helps your family then thatās all that matters. What do you think?
If heās a stay at home Dad then heās saving you money on daycare 
itās the same as a stay at home mom and he works weekends I donāt see a problem if your ok with it who gives 2 hoots what others have to say! What works for your family works, what works for other families may not work for othersā:woman_shrugging:t2:
1 Like
Nothing wrong heās doing all the things you would if you didnāt have a full time job, my husband and l did the same, who ever got the job worked and the other stayed home and looked after kids and household etc.
Day care was expensive back then but now wow itās crazy just how expensive it is!!
1 Like
Uh, thatās called a stay at home dadā¦ I could see an issue if he wasnāt helping at all but if ur kids are healthy, the house is kept and heās not being a financial drain, why are you complaining?
2 Likes
Whatever floats your boat n make you happy, stick with him. If you feel embarrassed by him tell him to get a full time job or hit the Rd.
Its yāallās life whatever works for you who gives a shit what other people think
Flaming fantastic. He may not be helping financially, but at least he pays his bills and youāre able to go to work knowing the children are being well looked after and a clean house to come home to, I would sooner that then my kids have to have child care , which you would have to pay for , n not knowing if there truly being cared for and bonus housework and dinner done wen you get home. Wicked xx
1 Like
He does help financially! You donāt have to pay for child care which is expensive, he pays you with his labor, a labor of love I might add!!
2 Likes
He sounds good to me . I had a husband who couldnāt even be there to bring his first born home from hospital because he was too busy helping his friend who had a sapphire claim , so I had to phone around to get a ride home ā¦It was New Years day 1972 and we had only been in this country town for a few months , so you have a keeper. Having no family support was very hard.