Help, my two-year-old is aggressive and won’t listen to anyone. We have tried tapping his butt, time-out. Everything. Taking away toys. Idk what else to try. We don’t yell, argue, or anything in the house. Any advice mamas
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My son was terrible at that age. I would cry cuz it was so stressful and it seemed like it was never going to end. Now he’s 7, polite, and so sweet and lovable and thoughtful of others. It’ll pass momma. Just be patient and hang in there. You got this
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I think most go threw this, getting on their level, and asking for a hug, and then taking about bad behavior, and feelings is what has worked with mine. He’s now 7 and we still do this.
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I’m sorry you are dealing with this. Mine was the same way when he was 2, but is starting to grow out of it as he gets older. Kids this young have LOTS of feelings and many times they don’t know how to deal with them yet so they come out as frustration and anger.
Whenever mine was mad and in the middle of an episode, I would just scoop him up and take him to a dimly lit room and cuddle with him and talk with him until he calmed down. Not having extra stimuli all around can help them calm down quickly sometimes. Of course, that didn’t always work and some days we just had to push through.
I hope you find something that works!
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Can you enroll him in a mother’s morning out program at a church a few hour’s a day at least 2 to 3 times a week.
Especially if you are a stay at home mom it will help you get a break and a mental break. Plus seeing others his age can help
It’s called terrible twos and most outgrow it. Just keep reminding him you love him n keep doing what you’re doing
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The Terrible Twos! For real! That is what they are called. The are almost as bad as the teen years, maybe worse.
My son was horrible as a youngin. He is now 10 and the perfect little guy. So compassionate, loving, caring. Tells m I’m beautiful everyday, holds my hand. This will pass momma. Hang in there.
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Im going through kind of the same thing with my nearly 5 year old lashing out screaming shouting hes going to school after summer and i dont know if its that. Honestly i have no idea xx
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Try some OT! Changed my little girl and we are both a lot happier!
A crack on the ass won’t kill him
I have no advice sorry. I’m dealing with about the same. My 5 year old niece I raise is like this! Oh and her mouth is beyond bad. (No cussing) just mouthy. She’s 5teen I tell ya. My 2 older kids were not like this, It can get stressful thank goodness she goes to school. It gives us both a break from one another
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They don’t call it the terrible twos for nothing.
I have 7 kids only 1 i had trouble with got 2 the point I was 2 embarrassed to take him out cuz of he’s behaviour started at 1 he’s now 4 and totally out of that stage so loving and caring and just lovely u just have to ride it out and thank god everyday u didn’t strangle the little shit x
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When my son gets aggressive it’s because he is made we worked in recognizing feeling and giving words to those feelings and an idea of what to do when we feel those feelings. He’s 2.5 and he gets mad and says I so angry and he will scream and stomp and go in the other room come out and hug me. When he’s happy he sings I so happy and dances. We do use time outs but not for tantrums because those are because lack of communication skills not recognizing the feeling inside his body. So we teach and guide with those. But if he throws his crayons all over the floor and we tell him to clean them up and he says no. Then I tell him he gets to sit in time out until I’m done cleaning them up. After one time I now just have to say it and he comes and helps clean up etc.
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Terrible twos. I usually plopped them on their beds and walked away and told them to stay there and I’d be back to talk to them in a few minutes when they chilled out. If they came back out or got off their beds I’d put them back on their beds over and over again without saying a single word to them. Eventually they stay on their beds and calm down. Once they calmed down I’d go talk to them and ask them why they were doing whatever they were doing and talked about why what they did wasn’t okay and told them better ways to go about things. I tried to keep those things with minimum wording as best as possible because toddlers obviously don’t have the ability to pay attention to longer wording on things. Usually it seemed to help. My kids are fairly decent at communicating how they feel usually. I feel like it’s stopped a lot of our meltdowns in our house. My 7 year old son has bad ADHD and we actually just got an email from his teacher telling us how good he communicates things with her. She had moved him to the back of the classroom because she thought it would be better for him and other students if he had more room to move around without distracting the class. He went to her and told her it was a bad idea and didn’t help him pay attention and that she needed to be more strict with him and that he needed to be back in the front of the class because it’s harder for him to pay attention in the back of the class. She moved him back to the front and has given him more rules and helped more keep him on track with things. She said that she has seen an improvement since she moved him to the very front of the class and gave him more expectations. Kids are pretty smart.
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I absolutely hate when people say this is normal or its the age.
To an extent certain things are normal but there could he underlying issues that could be hard to figure out at that age.
My son was difficult very aggressive and mean at times. He still struggles and he will be 9.
He was diagnosed with being neurodiverse along with a cpuple other issues and was frustrated when people didn’t understand what he was trying to say or get across. So no type of discipline worked for him really.
To this day I am still learning how to help him be the loving caring boy I know he can be.
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Be consistent. If you put in timeout and they move. Do not make eye contact pick up and put them back until they stay the time amount. Yes over and over. You are the boss. Give a warning. Then act. DO NOT GIVE IN EVER. IF YOU DO THEY WILL NEVER LISTEN. after time is up. Explain that you are proud of them for stating put then ask if they understand why they were in trouble.
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100% terrible 2’s, but also, have a look at their diet. Processed foods and sugars can sometimes be an aggravating factor.
Popping his butt will only reinforce aggression. Try removing him from the situation and taking him to a quiet place
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No snacks other thN vegetables and no sugar. Check on chemicals in Chips and snacks…no processed foods…something he might be eating is causing this action.
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My son was the same way. I just give him a safe space to let out his anger. They’re learning to deal with their emotions, so you need to try to allow them time and room to figure that out.
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Behavior is communication. Try consulting with a behavioural therapist to try to figure out the function of his behaviour.
Ride it out momma … it’s the terrible 2’s. Hahaha. Not funny but funny to me bcuz I have zero grandchildren
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My daughter went through an aggressive phase around 1-1.5. I used to get down to her level, hold her arms to her side so she couldn’t smack me and have her look at me while I explained what she was doing was not okay. I wouldn’t let her go until she calmed down and acknowledged it. I didn’t have to do that more than a handful of times before she stopped.
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“No Bad Kids” by Janet Lansbury. Read it or listen to it on audible. Its short, informative, and she even goes through things that people are taught are normal but could delay your kids’ progress. Not the golden standard by any means but definitely helpful, especially if you’re getting stressed and starting to take the toddler terrorism personally.
Talk to your doctor. Dhs has behavioral health options. People that can work with your son work with you.
My son was the same way and non verbal until 3. I did not know why. I was very attentive, very consistent and constantly second guessing myself and trying to do better… He got a speech therapist through dhs at 2.5 years old that gave us referrals to other specialists and clinics throughout our state and now we know. He has autism and ADHD. He’s now potty trained talking full sentences attending school with others his age. Don’t give up♥️ it could be just a phase it could also be something deeper. Talk to your Dr and be persistent. The worst that can happen is they’ll tell you nothing is going on.
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Consistency and routine. Possibly try less sugar in diet too! Hang in there, terrible 2s can be hard!
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Our daughter has sensory issues… instead of time outs…try time ins. It’s a life saver for us!!!
Keep a food diary. Note everything he eats and the behaviour soon after. Note what the contents are and gradually avoid them…youll find it helps… My son was the blue dye in smarties . He wasn’t aggressive but he was literally throwing himself against walls …no more blue smarties lol
Keep note of when the behaviour happens and maybe you’ll find whats triggering him and can distract him before it gets out of hand.
Terrible 2s are a nightmare but usually its constant activity and noise…not aggression. We played outside a lot . Whatever the weather we were out with a ball or running around the park.
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Pretend like it really hurt you, say owww you hurt mommy daddy etc, then take his hand and touch it to you gently, smile and say see nice touch. Give him a hug and move on. It has worked with my little!
I’ve had 8 children they all go through it and most grow out of it stick in there x
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You need to take him to a behavioral specialist and see if there’s any underlining issues
They hit you hit them back worked with me at that age
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123 magic is the best book
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My 2 yr old is the same way. My 4 year old went thru the same thing at that age. It’s their age. If your child watches Cocomelon, try cutting that out cold turkey. I thought the whole thing about Cocomelon making kids aggressive was bull crap until I said screw it and tried it, it has helped. She doesn’t act our as much anymore but still does bc like I said it’s their age.
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you haven"t tapped near hard enough!!! If you can"t control him now what will it be at 16??? Probably prison !!!
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Ignore him. When he has outburst turn away from him and ignore until he stops. You’ll see him quickly learn that he doesn’t have your attention anymore.
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Get a puppy if he’s aggressive towards it see a Dr
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It may seem like it’s not working but be consistent in what you are trying.
Talk to your pediatrician, if you don’t have one I’d get one… There can be so many reasons for it, seek medical help not FB.
I don’t call them turdlers for nothing. Lol
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It’s a 2 year old…. What did you expect
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He is 2. Have some patience and be consistent
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My advice is to educate yourself on where your child is developmentally and then you will understand why nothing you have tried is working.
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My son also like that too, was so active and aggressiveat times!! Try sticking to 1 thing first & be consistent with it. It pays off in the end trust me
Make sure there’s no ear or sinus infections or allergy issues going on. Also get soothing tablets, teething gels, & Tylenol as they are cutting some pretty big teeth in the back for about the next year, & it’s painful for some kids.
When they hit or kick you stop them & tell them no that’s not an appropriate way to behave. & Redirect their attention on to something else
Stop taking things away. He’s 2 & has no concept of why you are doing that.
Don’t yell, again they have zero concept of why you are yelling.
Get down to his level & talk to him like a person & help him learn & understand why you don’t hurt others. He has to be taught things before you just start punishing for things.
& Quit hitting for things he does not know & is learning 
a 2 minute time out with a talk & hug at the end will do wonders for teaching your child right from wrong.
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We were the same everything ended in a melt down no matter what we tried, we found getting her to say “I need space” actually worked, so she wouldn’t feel the need (as much 
) to hit her baby brother or last out at me.
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Give him a taste of his own medicine
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Stay calm and be kind. Children learn what they see.
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Redirect to an activity, coloring , read books, mix cupcakes.
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Pick him up, put him in his room. Get a timer, set it for 5 minutes, shut the door, and stand there until time out is over. Say one sentence as to why he’s in there. If he does it again. Repeat.
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Can he talk?? If not that may be why he’s aggressive. Could be acting out in frustration of not being able to say what he needs to say.
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Sounds like a normal toddler.
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The replies to this make me sick. Educate yourselves. Do better. Wow I’m just shocked at the amount of people have no clue. As for the original post please research aggression in toddlers. There are very specific positive parenting techniques that stop and prevent further growth of this. Negative reactions will not work and will make things worse later on. There may also be other reasons a medical professional can help you see and navigate.
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Teach him… Explain and show him redirect him if only needed… He will keep doing it because he is little and dont understand.
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He’s 2. It’s what they do. And not yelling or not arguing don’t matter after you use physical violence against them…like your really sending mixed signals there
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You are the parent you make them listen you have to consistently direct your child to learn that we don’t do this because that’s not acceptable you have to stay on top of it.
You can’t just gently and quietly say no in a monotone voice and then think that the child is going to understand that oh well mom said no you’ve got to be directing you’ve got to be firm because this is the stage of their life will they will slowly start to understand that the parent is the leader of the household a lot of people think respect doesn’t come that early but it really does
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Make sure his sleep schedule is consistent. I cannot express this enough. A tired toddler is a fussy toddler. When my son naps his 3 hour nap (we do one big nap instead of 2) he’s polite, kind, and loving. When I mess with his nap or am even an HR off the rest of the day is just wrong. And in reality it’s my fault when it happens. Kids cannot express there emotions through words. Either hes tired, or there’s been something happening in his life that is triggering this behavior, or a change that’s happened, or explore developmental delays that could lead to frustration and fits. I’m no expert, but this is just my experience. Also, talk to your child. Get on his level and talk to him. Be firm but use shorter phrases he can understand. “No hitting, it’s not nice. Gentle” and show him gentle motions. “Don’t hit! What are you thinking? That’s not acceptable in this house. Why won’t you listen to me? We don’t hit each other because it’s not nice and you are bad!” The first phrase is shorter and shows him an example. The second phrase is longer, and confusing for his little brain. And labels him as “bad” causing him to act out more. Like I said, no expert. Just advice.
2 minute time out. Don’t give in if will not sit. Some call it the naught chair.
It’s the age,he’s still a baby
Maybe he needs more attention or affection. At 2, he should be able to be redirected or distracted. Most likely he needs something he isn’t getting…. Sleep, love, touch, play, etc
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Wear that ass OUt with a keen switch,
Wait till 3, worse than 2 lol.
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Redirection and working on communication. My two year old was crazy aggressive AND he also barely spoke a handful of words. I put him into ABA therapy and they taught him sign language and things got slowly better. Then we found it he couldn’t hear! His hearing was at 20 percent only. He had tubes put in right before he turned 3 and a week later he was talking up a storm and the aggression almosy immediately stopped the very moment he learned the word no and how to use it. He is 5 now and literally the sweetest calmest boy ever. 3 years ago I would have never thought this was possible. I also do not spank or hit him.
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When my daughter was 2 I would ask her " would you like to have a good day or a bad day? Good day means we can have fun, bad day means you can go in your room and sit quietly. What kind of day would you like? She always picks good day obviously lol. Toddlers are very egotistical, they don’t mean to be but they haven’t developed enough yet to be able to think of others all the time. If he hurts you, tell him ow he really hurt you, that isn’t nice. Hands are for high fives and hugs, we do not hit or hurt with them. If all else failed she went into her room, I would explain what she did on her level and why it wasn’t ok. I would say when you are ready to be a good girl and have a great day you let me know. 9 times out of 10 she would come out within 15 seconds and would choose to be a good girl.
This worked for my daughter and I, not saying it will work for everyone but worth a shot!
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He is two 
this is normal. Just be consistent.
A 2 year old isn’t going to understand time out or taking away toys and I personally never recommend spanking ( physical violence ) as a way to redirect bad behavior.
There is not a quick fix to toddler tantrums. Every thought , feeling and emotion is pretty new to them . They are learning to manage and process all these things .
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If your aggressive response isn’t working, try a compassionate one. Sit down and say “I know you’re upset but when you do ______ it hurts my feelings, can you tell me what’s bothering you?”
My 4.5yr is aggressive and gets very angry, I know why and it’s being taken care of march 7th, he used to have constant ear infections when he was born and randomly they stopped after a year old and his allergic reaction. Fast forward to a week after turning 4, he had a double ear infection for a whole month before the doctor’s office would see us even after a negative covid test, finally I lied to get in and bam double ear infection which I knew cause it was causing him to be partially deaf. He’s had a double ear infection every month since he turned 4(September) he seen the ent Feb 9th and surgery to get tubes and his adenoids out is coming up. Took that long for someone to believe us, he can talk but is still delayed by a lot and alot of his aggressive comes from that and I think he has adhd as well
Get rid of red dye 40.
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Welcome to the terrible twos. 
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He needs something to do to wear him out
Redirect and communicate
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Get his hearing checked it could just be frustration with him he might need a little help
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With this age it’s all about calming them and refocusing them. Stop the aggressive behavior and then get them doing something else. You don’t say what the aggressive actions are but I’ve dealt with this and with one of my children it was as easy as “let’s get a snack and come sit with me” We’d get something and then have her sit on my lap usually on the couch turn on the tv to a cartoon or something. I’d say half the type she’d have her snack and within 30mins be asleep. So I think she was fighting being tired or overly stimulated.
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Is he on a schedule…and I know I don’t want to be that mom…butttt I was the one without a schedule…and my sil kept telling me…now that we finally on one…I understand alot of where his frustration comes from …we’ve mitigated quite a bit of tantrums as he got use to knowing when he snacks/meal times and nap times. When he starts cranking up…its usually one or the other… and some kids like my son are just really strong minded and get frustrated when they can’t be independent. So having a set activity in which they cna be let’s them get the need fulfilled.like dressing himself…setting up his table…
He probably needs something to keep his brain & hands busy and get all his energy out. All 3 of mine were punks at 2. The more stimulation they had the better they got. Best of luck to you momma. Positive thoughts prayers and vibes to you and him.
When you take something, they don’t get it back.
When he starts, out him in this crib/bed until he stops. EVERY. TIME. Then you can talk to him. You won’t get anywhere if he’s upset. When he’s calm, start showing him correct ways to behave. Teach him to use words. Take him to pick out a pillow he can use to hit if he needs it. That’s all he can hit.
There’s ways but every child is different & consistency is doing it for more than a few days. It can take a few weeks, again, depending on the child.
They don’t understand all these emotions & why they can’t have what’s they want all the time.
Have those conversations. Give choices. Like, do you want the green shirt or blue shirt? Giving them some small things they control will teach them to trust themselves & makes a difference.
Better put the fear of God in that child ( I don’t mean harm by ANY means). Stop that shit or it’s going to get worse.
He’s a faze u get through it help him communication with hand signs .he just frustrated because he can’t fully communicate yet
Put. Him. In. Time. Out. Everytime. He. Leaves. His. Time. Out. Dont. Say. Any. Thing
You haven’t got his attention.yet
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He s 2 and this 2 shall pass
Allergies can cause anger.
That’s the age of redirection. Make sure you tell them that’s not ok before moving on. It’s not ok to hit Mommy but you should color a picture with these crayons and this color book (or whatever). We don’t hit but we have fun hugging pillows (or whatever). Aww this pillow is a baby… Etc etc play with him or show him how to play with something.