How can I make my daughter’s dad and his family understand when I punish our daughter that they can not baby her like they do as they are going to make her an unpunishable child as they are continuing to baby her
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Sit down with them. Tell them that they are not the parent. That you are and punishments are necessary. Explain situations that could happen when they undermined you as a parent. I had to throw in my Kids grandparents on her dad’s side that when they babied her cousin that is now 14, she stole grandpa’s car, does drugs, hits people, tries to steal someone else’s car, sales drugs, and prostitution. That that’s who they raised. So to kindly back off and let me discipline the way I do it. Her grandmother fights me on it. But I told her firmly that she needs to stop or my kids won’t be around her. It’s been 2 months since a put my foot down and she has stopped.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What can I do about my daughters dads family babying her after I punish her?
Voice your concerns and put boundaries in place, what u say goes
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need more info . like how old is she? do you try to punish her while at their house or yours? or does this occur when you are all out somewhere like a park or restaurant? what is your child doing that’s wrong? how are you punishing her?
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Same including my husband
Have a conversation with them. Tell them you are her mother and if you punish her for something they need to respect that choice. They can disagree all they want but bottom line is you are the one who has and will have to deal with the behavior in the future. Set boundaries and make sure they understand how you feel
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Have a firm conversation with them. If they still ignore it avoid going around. Obviously, that’s difficult sometimes but don’t be fooled. Kids are not dumb. They know exactly who they can manipulate.
She won’t disrespect you because she knows she will get into trouble. If she acts a fool and disrespects them, I’d be like go spoil her. Lol If she gets into trouble I’d be like let go home, you ruined the privilege of being around fun. Lolol idk I need a nap this advice doesn’t sound that great.
Na, This is probably the worst advice cuz I’m bitter and petty lolol 
listen to someone else’s.
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I don’t think babying her is a problem after the punishment has been completed. For example, if you put her in time out for 5 min after those 5 minutes your child could be cuddled.
But anyway, with your inlaws I would kindly say that it can only be done after the punishment if lifted otherwise they are letting her get away with misbehavior.
As for dad he has a much say as you. Express to him how you feel but that’s also his child and he will also deal with her later in life
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What kind of punishing are you doing? Is it border line abusive? If so, the in laws and your daughters dad are no way in the wrong. Also there’s nothing wrong with loving a child after consequences. You sound toxic.
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Are yqll split? Unfortunately, you can’t do much but ask if that’s the case
My parents baby my daughter when I punish her. It’s a natural reaction that people give.
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So is the babying happening while your punishing her or after? Since I’m unsure exactly how she is being punished I’ll have to make up a few scenarios:
Say your punishment is sitting in the corner for X amount of time, are they not to give her love after the punishment is done or is the child to continue to be punished for a longer period of time after the corner is finished where there is to be no loving for X amount of time? Here I don’t think there’s anything wrong with after the corner time is done the child getting loved on to make sure they know that it is not them who is bad but their actions are?
If you use corporal punishment, after the child is finished getting hit, spanked, beat, ect are they not to be comforted from the literal pain they are feeling and or them to know that they are not being beat because they are bad but their actions were for while so that they can continue to cry afterwards and focus on the pain their actions caused?
I know some parents use physical exercises to punish their children. In this case is the child to be refused love for a certain period of time after.
Either way it’s screaming toxic to me because it’s coming off to me as you expect your child to be continued to be punished by everyone after the punishment is finished. If that’s the way you roll I would suggest telling people that you expect their to be cooling off period after the child has finished their punishment to not receive love afterwards so that the child will get the point that they will not receive any loving after acting out. For them to know love is given when you are behaving appropriately.
In the case that they are interrupting you discipling your child then it is time for a conversation about boundaries.
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“Unpunishable child” what does that even mean
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Sounds like maybe OP lives with in-laws?
Grandparents are just like that. I don’t think they mean any harm. It’s a fact of life that Grandparents forgive and overlook many things.
I’d need examples of crime vs punishment before my 2 cents, because I knew someone in the same situation who overly punished their kids just to rile the Grandparents up.
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Take her out of the area everyone else is in. If they get involved, ask them to allow you to handle your child.
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Grandparents always have a hard time with this. Just remind them that she will not be little forever. Her behavior needs to be appropriate in public and you are her teacher.
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Well first off are you with him? If dad has his own parenting time with her then they are entitled to parent her the way they’d like. Just because she punished at your house doesn’t mean she has to be punished there. That’s not particularly fair. Also you haven’t mentioned her age or what her “punishment” consists of. This is a very vague description of your issue for anyone to be able to give solid advice on. Based on the info given you all need to communicate and either agree to disagree or do your own thing on your parenting time. If you are with her father and it’s not a parenting time situation then that’s all communication between you as the child’s adults.
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You’re supposed to show love during and after discipline, so unless the OP can elaborate what they consider “punishment” and “babying”, I’m going to say drop it.
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Try discipline instead of punishment 
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It is a bummer when you feel like you are being undermined when you discipline your child.
Remember when you discipline a child you goal is to extinguish a not OK behavior and keep your child’s esteem intact. In doing so you want to “consequence” not “punish” the child. Consequences are the loving results of a behavior that would happen naturally. Like meal time quietly ending when food is thrown at the table or a toy calmly being taken away because she is chasing the cat with a toy truck… Or logical consequences when natural consequences would be unsafe. For instance running into the street would call for the logical consequence of a “time out” to peacefully think about the behavior because the natural consequence of getting hit by a car isn’t acceptable. “Punishment” is an act perpetrated by an authority figure on another to cause pain or discomfort and/or get even for a wrong doing. Punishment often employs corporal punishment such as a spanking and an animated loud lecture and moralizing sermon. “Punishment” creates fear and resentment and passive aggressive behavior and wears down a relationship and erodes the self-concept. “Consequences” are given calmly, yet firm with as many words as necessary and as few words as possible. “Consequences” encourage causual thinking, learning, problem solving and facilitates relationship building and the development of a good self-concept.
Consequences are effective in the long run, punishment is ineffective in the long run.
After your child has been “consequenced” for not ok behavior it is OK and appropriate to feel warmth and support from the parents and others. The affection is independent of the not ok behavior, and the “consequence” in fact the affection sends a powerful message to the child that they can screw up, serve time in “time out” and still be a human
being deserving of love, respect and affection.
Remember you only want to arrest the offending behavior not the social emotional development of the child.
Causing physical pain via punishment on a child then giving them affection is unproductive and unhealthy.
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If you’re still together- set boundaries. Tell them this is your child and you will correct her. Once the correction is done- there’s nothing wrong with them loving on her. Kids are hurt when they’re upset. My kids always want hugged by me after I get after them. Nothing wrong with that. But if they tell her she didn’t do anything wrong, that’s not okay.
Not enough info for me to advice on 
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What can I do about my daughters dads family babying her after I punish her?
I feel like a little more backstory is needed!?
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Tell them the next one to baby her will be the.next one with a busted ass
If they can’t respect your techniques then they can’t distuct what you have going x
Tell them. So she noes that ultimately where ever and who she is with mum is having final say. !!! X
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What can I do about my daughters dads family babying her after I punish her?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What can I do about my daughters dads family babying her after I punish her?
Honestly I had to stop letting my son around that whole side of the family but that’s a more extreme case where the disrespect they were showing me was completely unacceptable.
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Tell them to not undermind you when disciplining your child.
Also, tell them they’re making a rod for their own back because not backing you with the discipline, shows your child that she can get away with everything with the in laws! She wont have any respect for them and they wont be able to discipline her or gain any control over bad behaviour.
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Counseling for all ADULTS involved, then the child.
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You speak to them about how you will be disciplining your child, for what behaviors. Then you will tell them that they will support such disciple… or they will not be welcome in your house and child won’t be coming to their house if they cannot be trusted to follow your plan. They may not undermine you
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Punishment and love can both co-exist. Your child should never think you stopped loving her even when you discipline her.
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Punish her? I think first you need to sort yourself out. You are not supposed to punish your child, you are supposed to discipline your children with care. There is no need to make them sit in a corner or not talk to them, you teach them by example, by showing them the right way, by rewarding their right behaviour and simply showing them that only right ways pay. As for empathy and kindness, that’s something they will learn better by watching you. You need few lessons in parenting before you talk about others.
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You don’t want an “unpunishable child”. You all need to be working to raise a responsible adult.
If she’s being disciplined, grandma and grampas house may not be the best place to be. You can parent her, for now, but not them.
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stop looking for punishment, and start either origin of the word “discipline.” It means to Teach. If you are constantly punishing, then your daughter isn’t looking to learn from you, but to avoid you. I’m a parent and a 35 vet teacher.
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Have a stern conversation. Explain that by them babying her after you discipline her confuses the child and making her think that her bad behavior is okay. This is actually my biggest pet peeve. So I totally understand your frustration.
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I think you and your daughters dad need to sit down and agree on discipline. It sounds like whatever you are punishing her for he doesn’t agree with which is unfair on everyone, including your daughter. Also how is he babying her? How are you punishing her and what for? How old is she?
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Maybe look into Gentle Parenting methods
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Being gentle? Good grief! That’s the reason we have these disresptful young people now. We were forbidden to punish our children. Talking doesn’t do any good because they tune out just like we did. Got rear busted and sometimes the taste slapped out of me but I turned out pretty decent ie joined the army. I raised my five boys like that. Daddy whopped the butts when they needed it. They are all good men.
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Tell them straight forward infront of her and everyone that she is in trouble and that is going to stay that way until YOU say so and tell the in laws “your child, your rules” if they have a problem with it then they do not have to see her. You want to see your grandchild then you have to respect the mother first
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Maybe they think the punishment is not fair, and maybe it isn’t…
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We each handle our own families. If Dad/Spouse can’t or won’t then there’s a portion of the problem. Additionally could it be your "punishment " vs “correction” is over the top or inappropriate for the offense?
Try not to disapline her in front of people , if she’s old enough) tell her you will deal with it when you get home
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I think there are too many unknowns here. How old is the child? What form of punishment are you using? How do you feel the dad is babying her? If you are physically punishing her then maybe the dad doesn’t agree with your method. Yall should sit down, share your concerns, and come up with an appropriate form of discipline that you are both comfortable enforcing. It is important when disciplining any child that you also reiterate your love for them and not act out of anger.
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YOUR child. You and your husband need to sit and talk about how he disciplining will go,y’all have to be in the same page. No need for you both to get on to the child at the same time. If one starts to get on,then the other needs to step back,if the child continues than the other parent tries it their way. You got to figure out which way works that the child will respond to. As far as the family,she’s y’alls kid, therefore they need to back the hell up. If they cant respect your parenting decisions,then they don’t need to be around the child.
Depends on how ur punishing a child? Discipline seems to look like child abuse now a days.
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Change the word punish to discipline, therefore she has to face the consequences of her actions…
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Keep her away from husbands family if being punished
That will teach her to be manipulative, playing one side against the other to get her way. Stop it or look for trouble.
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Change the word from punish to discipline please.
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Conversation and limited time w them. Of they cant listen they can not be around. Its super rude and teaches the child to not listen and respect you
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You are all too soft. You act like these kids don’t get the chance of 4 polite conversations of polite reasoning before they get their butts whooped. Sometimes a kid needs a swat on the butt, and when that happens, you can’t allow the next adult to baby them, all it does is justify the bad behavior and make them think they can get away with it, with the next adult. If you don’t want your overgrown teenager fistfighting you over dumbshit later in life, keep them in check early. And no, you don’t always need to “punish” a child, but when they are acting bad and won’t listen to the polite conversation we offer the first few times, it’s time to listen to what I’m telling you, or get your butt spanked and listen to what I’m telling you. Simple
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they have nothing to do with this … it’s between you and your kid lol …get over it …
Nothing is what you can do.
Nothing.
You can’t control grown folks.
Get tough…they are undermining you…
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Sorry,my daughter went through that. Was nothing she could do to get dad to listen. Luckily her daughter, my granddaughter, is older now and sees what went on. She still lives both parents,but realizes now what was happening
Your the mother. You control the situation. Dont allow them to be around if they are going to undermine you.
Short of cutting them out of your lives, you can’t. Not if they don’t want to.
Jealous I’m guessing cos she says she likes her dad more . Allow it hahaha
You cannot control anyone. Suck it up buttercup, or pack your bags, family, and move to Antartica
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U can’t make them do anything. Its crap.
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Tell your husband to stand up for you to his family.
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Is it babying or a firm but gentle talk with your daughter. I know sometimes parents can discipline differently and the child will run to the other parent for comfort. The parent/person who the child runs to could be explaining why they got in trouble like that and it was wrong behavior. The more gentler approach person could still be reinforcing what the rules are but maybe the other parent feels it’s babying. It could be possible that you’re overly strict on things and the other parent disagrees with you…as parents you need to communicate how each other feels about what is going on and how to get on the same page, if not, the child will be confused and possibly start playing the both of you.
U can’t dictate how she is " punished " at his house…
I literally had to tell my husband’s gramma to stop coming around because she was being to disrespectful to me and wouldn’t stop after talking with her about it several times and my husband backed me…anytime I tell my daughter no she will turn around and let her do it anyway or give her whatever she wants or ill say no to something and the grandma will be like " go ask daddy" thank God my husband is like “what did mom say” …she also favors my daughter very obviously over my son or any other of her grandkids to the point she literally ignores everyone else she still tries to rock her to sleep and keep her pinned to her lap while my daughter struggles to get up and go play and shes almost 5 my son is almost 6 and he notices that she doesn’t pay him any attention she uses guilt to try and get what she wants from me and my husband she’ll lie to get her way…shes teaching my children that its ok to disrespect and not listen to their parents and I don’t appreciate it…it doesn’t matter how many times I’ve tried to talk to her about it or how I said it so my solution was look id you’re not going to respect me as their parent you’re not gonna be around my daughter has behavioral issues anyways and it always makes her act out when she comes over
Get over it. For 1 dont punish her in front of the inlaws . 2. Be more gentle then she wouldn’t have to be comforted
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How old are we talking lil ones or teens what kind of punishment spanking or time outs
Just tell them in no uncertain terms to back off. Be firm