Mom at a loss!! Idk what to do my oldest is in a kindergarden program to make sure shes ready. Well today was the first day and she ended up running out of the building and 4 teachers had to corner her and carry her back inside. They said if she has another day like yestersay it could withhold her. And i dont want that for her. She does deal with listening issues but this is so not cool. I talked to her she said she wanted me to stay i told her a way she could understand me and daddy already went to school and its her turn
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This completely y’all’s fault!!! Stop babying and enabling her and be the parent. My baby never did no bs like that bc I raised her to mind and be respectful starting as a baby. Stop babying her teach her to mind. Got four teachers chasing a 4 or 5 year old bs I wish my baby would. Y’all have already dropped the ball. She has listening issues bc y’all don’t make her listen now she doesn’t respect anyone bc she wasn’t taught to respect her parents. Shame on y’all. Her failure is your failure it’s the parents that’s the problem!!
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That’s one reason why preschool is so important; to get them used to school and being away from parents for a few hours. She just might not be ready yet.
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I clipped a picture of us together on my kids shirt. When they were feeling any kinda way I told them to look at it and give it a hug. Worked every time. ( 3 kids )
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Sounds like she may not be ready. We always want the best for our kids. But sometimes they’re just not ready.
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Are you able to stay with her for a bit??
Until she gets settled in?
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I would tell the school you want her evaluated for a iep, for behavior, and they can possibly get her in a smaller class.
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My son had a rough 1st year of kindergarten but also his teacher was absolutely horrible. He had to do kindergarten a 2nd year and it was the best thing ever. He did so great and advanced in basically every course. But discipline and consistency is key. She hopes to act that way so she doesn’t have to go. Because she’s possibly got to run the show for a long time. She’s old enough to be disciplined for her actions. Taking away TV time, tablet etc. She will get it. Kindergarten is rough especially if there was no preschool or any type of learning things at home. Then they are expected to be in a classroom all day 4 to 5 days a week. Stick to strict structural environment at home. And dont cave when shes throwing a fit because she wants something thats shes been told no about. Or even when shes not listening to you. Consistently is key. stick with it momma. It’s hard.
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My daughter had trouble adjusting at first. Most kids do. She definitely wasn’t the only kid crying. It’s normal. It’s been 3 weeks for mine and she doesn’t cry at all. She loves it!
You can’t expect a child who has been with their mother 24/7 for 5 years to just be okay with being without her in a new, strange environment.
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She actually may not be ready to start school
Just yet
Can she take a stuffed animal or something of yours so she has a lovey to hold during her school day? Maybe a handkerchief with a spray of your perfume to smell or one with a kiss lip print with your lipstick so she has your kiss with her.
Are there half-day kindergarten options you could start with?
Don’t linger when you say goodbye or it’ll be worse. A quick kiss and a wave at the school or classroom door and be on your way. Give her some time to adjust to being with you at the end of the school day. She has such big emotions and will realize how much she missed you, so don’t pepper her with questions right away. Maybe start by telling her about your day.
Is there anything specific that might have triggered her to run out of the classroom or struggle with the teachers who went to get her? What was she running FROM? Where did she think she was going to go? Would she know her way home from the school?
Does she ride the bus or do you drop her off? If a school bus is available it might make a good transition.
Ask the teacher to assign two students to be her friends and guardians for the day (or maybe two in the am and a different two in the pm) to be her study and play buddies so she feels like she belongs more.
Does she have all the readiness skills or is she behind her peers in letters, numbers, colors, etc. Maybe she feels she is lagging and won’t catch up, or she is not used to having a structured day. You can work with her at home on some of this.
Has she been sheltered or has she had lots of interactions with other people? Could she have sensory issues where the noise and lights overwhelm her? Could she be on the autism spectrum or have ADHD and just can’t sit still for long?
Might be worth a visit to a child psychologist unless this is a one time only behavior. Would the school let you leave some things for her so she gets a reward for behaving in the am & pm? Like a penny or a new pencil or a fidget toy?
I told all 3 of my children that school was their job, and they had to go and do their best.
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Is she having separation anxiety? Do you have concerns that may need to be evaluated by a pediatric psychologist that could affect her academic career? (There are 504 and IEP plans if need be.)
Is she bored, anxious, or just antsy/hyper and full of energy she needs to be moving?
Why does she say she’s behaving this way?
Ex: For one of mine, it would help them to wear a locket with a picture of her and I in it and on the other side was her and the whole family. She did really well with this and wore it from Kindergarten all through elementary school years.
Good Luck.
wait, is she in preschool? Or Kindergarten?
Either way many kids have a hard time with this transition.
My middle son cried every single day of jk for the first 3 weeks The teacher would pick him up and bring him in crying. Broke my heart. Then it got to the point he would walk in by himself still crying. He knew he had no choice. After 3 weeks he was fine. I did the bracelets where they wore one that said mommy and I wore one with their name so that mommy could be with them all day. Maybe you can do something like that where they have a piece of you with them?
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Does she need special accommodations if she has hearing issues? If so get the school to evaluate her for an IEP (Individual Education Plan) and they can allocate more resources for her.
Good luck mama 🫶🏻
She will adjust! If she was home with you all the time, it will take time. Separation anxiety!!! Many kids go through it. She has to get over it. You need to toughen up too. She’s a child, you are the parent . No more spoiling… sorry. Truth!
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Is there a way you can stay for a little while so she can feel comfortable then let her know you will be right back to get her when all the other parents come also. It’s okay to be scared for a couple of days but reassure her you will be right there if she needs you. Let her know and keep your promise of picking her up right on time so she knows you’ll always be ther when she’s done.
Going to pre-K is a development stage. It is not a case of lack of discipline. A child could be the most well behaved person and still have comprehension issues and not be ready yet for the next step of kindergarten. Perhaps they would be flexible and allow her to start at two half days a week then three and work up to five full days? There is no shame in allowing your little girl to develop at her own rate. You could start with a nursery school and when she shows more readiness explore pre-K again. I wish we would pay more attention to a child’s signals of readiness than the calendar. She’ll get there.
Give her an after school reward, something that is her favorite and when she does well give it to her. Always talk about school before during and after school about how great it is and how she’s growing and learning, always talk about what she did at school, give her a present to give her teacher and a few friends something small like pens for the teacher and bouncy balls for the friends then she’ll want to go and give gifts. Tell her about strangers and running outside by herself is dangerous and it makes you sad. It’s hard but we have to think like kids to get through to our kids.
My twin girls cried everytime I dropped them off for pre-k as it was a new atmosphere for them. I was able to find mommy and me necklaces. Told them anytime they missed me or daddy they could hold onto the charm and it would alert me. So for a few days when I picked them up I told them I knew they missed me bc my necklace alerted me.
Try something small- that will help comfort her.
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Why was this necessary?! They shouldn’t be able to simply run out and it certainly shouldn’t take four adults to “corner” her! I’d be wanting to know how the behaviour management of a K class let this happen tbh. As a parent, I’d be asking her why she ran away. And explaining why she needs to stay where it’s safe. Perhaps the school could provide a nominated adult she could tell things to if it’s getting too much so she doesn’t feel she needs to run.
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As a 90s kid, I would’ve been spanked for pulling a stunt like that. School is not an option, you will do this and that is not negotiable. There will be consequences at home, and that’s final. Today’s kids literally have everything handed to them and no consequences for the way they behave. 
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yikes. She just not ready.
Some children are just not ready when even if they’re of age to progress in life.
Back to daycare for her.
Adjustment takes time. When is her birthday? If she is young you might consider giving her another year to mature. I know this isn’t popular today. I’m a retired K teacher.
Discipline is key. Either spanking, time out, things being taken away needs to happen, but I would really give some thought into getting her into a more secured school. My daughter starts VPK Monday and there doors are always locked, need a pass code to get in and the playground has a privacy fence all around so there’s no way for kids to run away. If anything do it for her safety. This world is crazy, someone could come into the school and shoot everyone.
Reas kissing hands and the invisible string to her. And each day before school give her kissing hands. I did this with my son. He was scared. I also went back to college to be an example. I told him since he was scared and it was new and he wanted mom, I thought we could both start school In different places and we can face our fears together.
My son ran out of the school every first and second day from prek3 thru 3rd grade!!! The teachers would chase after him and they would yell for me to go go go go!!! 
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You could always parent volunteer and assist the teacher. I did this with my now 23yr old when he was little…
That’s crazy that they would even do such a thing. My son cried everyday the teachers would have to come out and get him, he would come home and already be crying for the next day lol. Me on the other hand I use to chase my mom’s car down the school hill when she left 
. She will get use to it it’s a big adjustment for her.
Take her to school on (Saturday) just for fun. Play WITH her on the play ground. Pack a picnic and books. Your aim is to have FUN !! She just may need some reassurance… this may take some time too.
My aunt dealt with this. She would cave and bring her kid home so I was the one to drop him off at school in the morning. Coaches were so great and told me to just hand him over and they would handle it. Only took a couple days for him to feel comfortable.
My son would cry when I dropped him off every single day of prek3 and when I asked the teacher about it she said he would immediately stop crying when ahe closed the door. Thanks kid😒
Once she gets over being away from you she’ll probably really love school. I think this is somewhat normal if they’ve never been away before.
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