The original plan for my 13-year-old daughter was to do virtual learning with me and go to her dad’s after school on Friday. I have fewer distractions for her at my home than she has there. She decided after her first week of school with me that she wanted to stay at her dad’s and have nothing else to do with me. I have been checking on her grades, and she is doing terrible! I feel like my hands are tied.
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Lol. School just literally started. How are the grades terrible?
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Some schools started the beginning of August, so it is possible for a child to be failing already.
My mom used to ask who is bigger? She’s 13your the boss use your athority!!!
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Uh you’re the mom. Make her come back to your house and do the work.
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Your the parent. She has the right to a option but that option is null and void if it’s unreasonable and cannot benifit her future. Put your mommy panties on and be the boss.
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Your hands are tied??? Your her mother you go over there and tell her dad she is doing terribly in school and shes coming to your house and staying there during the week at least until she cleans her grades up. Have you even spoken to her dad??? He might not have a clue whats going on you both need to be in agreement that she needs to get her work done. Dont let her walk on you youre the parent you need to do whats best for your daughter even if she doesnt like it
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Don’t do anything obviously you are not in charge .
Now me I would drag her butt back to normal school
But make a decision Facebook is not going to help you
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Make her come back home 
there’s nothing you can do about it while she’s at her dads unless u n her dad are on good terms. She’s 13 years old not 18/19 years old and you’re the adult she’s not simple as that
Talk to her dad, one solution Would be if she doesn’t do better she has to come to your house no choice
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What does your court order say?
Have you contacted the court to request the judge order your daughter to be with you during the school week and with her dad on the weekend?
Try that.
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Make her come back to your house if she isn’t going to follow the rules.
Quit being her friend and be her mother!
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I’m sorry but what?! Are you for real? In case you are let me remind you… You are the parent, she is the child… it’s your duty to make sure she does what needs to be done to have a good future, whether she likes it or not. Very few teens like school, it’s nothing new. It sounds to me like you would rather be her friend and/or just don’t want to deal with the “hassle” of being a parent. This age is hard and I feel for you, but you are making it worse on yourself by letting her do whatever she wants. My advice is to put your parent panties on and do what you already know needs to be done, even if it sucks!
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If she’s at her dad’s full time, your hands are tied. 
The best thing I can think of is if you haven’t already talked to dad, do so, and see if he’s aware of the situation. If he is aware and is unconcerned about it I really don’t know what to tell you. You let her go to her dad’s.
Put her back in actual school, where she dont have a choice of who’s house she is at tondo school. You are the parent.
Sounds to me like the the ADULTS need to get on the same page and quit letting a CHILD make the decisions 
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she wants to act like a baby, treat her like a baby…take her cell phone, her social life and id make her sit at the kitchen table, you sit beside her and dont lether up till shes done
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She’s 13 make her come home until her grades improve!! You’re the mother make her listen
Who has physical custody? If it’s you, you can stick to the court order. It trumps ANY agreement you have with dad (verbal or otherwise) since it’s signed by a judge.
Also, depending on your custody order, you can invoke educational rights, get her attendance log to check the days, and alert the school that she’s truant as a last resort. Not sure what state you’re in, but here in California they have to be on camera the whole time for all synchronous instruction (direct learning) and post assignments on asynchronous days (self-guided online).
I’d talk to dad and document grades going down during times she spends there and grades going up when she’s with you and show that when you attempt any custody modifications that it would be in your daughters future best interest
This depends on your custody arrangement but dad can’t keep her if you have dual custody, so force her to come home for the days you legally get her. Also, talk to her father about her grades instead of just “checking in.” You should be parenting her together
Move her to brick and mortar
I would tell her she can spend as much time at her Dad’s as she would like, but you will be home during school hours, period.
She is at a difficult age .You could talk with her and her father and maybe you could all work out some thing that could work for you all .Other wise seek some professional advise .Its not a easy time when your dealing with a difficult 13 year old .Hope all goes well
Who are the parents? It’s not her choice
Your hands aren’t tied. She is 13. You and the dad need to work out a plan to keep her on task. School is priority and can give her the structure she is lacking. She needs to earn the choice to be where she wants. If the family can’t work it out…bring in a counselor to help!
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She’s 13. Be the parent. Ask dad why she isn’t getting her work done. She may be lying to him and he just assumes it’s getting done.
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Remember u r the parent .she may want to go to her dad’s but tell her u know what’s best for her .and she needs to go to school for at least 13 years after that if she does notvwantbto go further by will n oh t put her but for n oh we she we ill bevstayingbwith you and only werkendsvwith d a d if she gets all her school work completeld and turned in.on time. Be strong talk with ex to get him behind you on this also she could never get a decent job without a high school education and a even better job if u go to college . B e firm with her th o ugh.
Talk to dad and try to work together toward a solution. If that doesn’t help and there is a custody agreement in place naming you custodial parent, get your judgement copy, call the police, and get her home. If there’s no custody agreement, contact the school and explain she is not in your custody. Give dad’s contact info so attendance issues and such don’t fall on you and reach out to the courts for a custody agreement to be put into place naming you custodial parent. Use her school performance and the unwillingness of dad as proof she needs to be with you.
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Talk to her dad if that doesn’t work go to court
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I feel your pain. I have a 13 year old daughter and I am going through something similar.
I’d tell him that you see her grades are coming down and he needs to make sure her work is getting done.
Make sure dad knows and ask if he has access or if he needs it, because you see it isnt getting done?
I’m going thru the same thing with my 16 year old.
First who has residential custody. What is the arrangement. May be that if she can’t be responsible there she needs to be home and leave after like before.
I’m assuming no1 has legal custody? Talk it out, if not go to court.
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Unfortunately it’s the age. I have a 14 yo that doesn’t care about anything. She flat out lied to me about assignments being done at the end of last year. They really need to see the teachers and be held responsible. It’s so hard. Good luck!
Seeing as she’s 13, maybe it’ll be worth talking with her dad about finding out why she’s this way (apart from it being a hormonal explosion). How is she coping? Are there other issues that might be troubling her?
The issue may be her grades but the cause of that might be getting overlooked. Find out the cause and maybe a way of helping her feel better so she has more of herself to put into schooling
You’re the adult, go back to the original plan. Some decisions aren’t best made by the kids.
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Giving kids the opportunity to make these choices isn’t always the way to go,
Something as important as school 
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Since when do 13 yr. Olds get to make those kinds of decisions, specially when they are just looking for the easy way out. Make dad step up to the plate or bring her home. Will not be easy but has to be done. Is there on campus classes. If so she may have to go to school.
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SHE decided?
She is 13 yrs old…UN decide for her.
If you have a custody agreement, follow it.
If you don’t: file for one and then follow it. …