God and family is a big help when my husband had it your husband needs you most right now i went though it mind didn’t make it praying for your family
I 100% suggest therapy. My daughter was diagnosed with cancer in 2020 and it took a huge toll on our whole family. I am so sorry you’re having to deal with this.
One day at a time. With God’s help. The only way!
1 Like
I’m sorry your family (including you) are going through this. The hospital or treatment center may be able to help with transportation to and from appointments. I would definitely talk to them. Your husband is also processing what is going on with him, too. Ask if they have help for him, too. That would help you have more time and energy to help your daughters, and devote your time to your needs. I would enlist friends and family to help. My sister had breast cancer that metastasized to her bones, then to her brain. Radiation was tough. During the most difficult times her friends, neighbors, church family, and family brought meals, and helped where it was needed. You could start a private facebook group, and tell you friends and family what you need. Maybe have someone create a calendar for transportation needs
Don’t burn yourself out. The most comforting thing at such a difficult tome was not having to worry about what’s for dinner, and being able to devote time to spending with her. God bless you and your family. 
2 Likes
Some school districts have a therapist in schools, mine did therapy in school n during the summer I took her to the office 2 a month, maybe check into it, hope this helps. Good luck
1 Like
I think a cancer support group might be a better answer for you and your girls, meet others who are going through this, teach them how to deal with “cancer brain”, and they frequently meet at night,
1 Like
Telehealth for everything you can. Lots of therapist do telehealth. You might have to take them to the first visit or two, it should be able to set up telehealth after. I’m sorry that you’re family is going through all of this.
You should see what type of assistance is available in your state. You may qualify for more than health benefits.
1 Like
I hope you all can get some kind of therapy. If you have any friends or family that you could ask maybe they will help too!
I can’t imagine what you’re all going through but I will say a prayer for you guys.
1 Like
Many counseling services are virtual right now… The school may also be able to connect you with a therapist who can visit in school… I lost my mom to lung and brain cancer several years ago… it is difficult! Take as many videos as you can now. Sneak pictures. Try to have family time if he’s up for it… I will share what hospice told me, when you don’t understand his moods remember that he is also grieving. He will grieve for all of you. He is not only fighting cancer (and I pray he wins), but he is also grieving the possibility of losing all of you and the pain that will cause you and the girls. Men hate to feel like a “burden”… Be patient even when hurts! You all are in my prayers
I’m so sorry you and your family is struggling through all of this. I am a therapist and work virtually using a video program that is HIPPA approved. You can contact me either PM or 443-526-8866 or email at [email protected]. We can work through your schedules. Let’s talk.
3 Likes
Ask for virtual appointments
Sorry you’re going through this it must be hard. Is there anyway the sixteen-year-old could get her license and a cheap vehicle to help you take her younger sisters to their appointments and stuff? Is that a possibility, is she responsible enough? I know money must be tight with only you working, but it’s a thought. Good luck, praying your husband makes a full recovery
Your doing your best momma hang in there yes get counseling for the girls it’ll help and I don’t have any advice for anything else sorry
Some therapists have evening hours or even better virtual appointments. Many offer because of COVID
I just wanted to to say you are doing amazing!! You deserve to hear that! Virtual appointments but maybe there is a family member or friend, mom of a friend of theirs who can help with some pick ups for after school activities or appointments?
1 Like
No advice here but lots of prayers for your husbands healing and for you and your girls!
Sending you your girls and your husband all the love and support in the world during this difficult time. Remember to breathe cry scream when you need. You’re also going through a lot. You are also allowed to have feelings during this horrible time. Maybe friends or family could help bring them to therapy? Maybe they could see school consoler.
I’m so sorry! Reach out to the school. Maybe look at in home therapy or like the video chat maybe they might work with your availability. Sending prayers!
1 Like
I’m going through the same thing with my mom at this moment granted I’m 30 and it’s still hard for me to grasp I have huge anxiety about it all. I honestly think that a support group or therapy would be great for them
Some will do the counseling virtual and there are some places that are open later we have a place that’s open until 8 at night. Even though it’s hard be open and honest with the kids about everything and what to expect on his behavior let them know that he does not mean it. Tell the girls that you’re going to need their help I’m taking care of the household chores and everything else. If you have any friends or family see if they can help you. I’m not sure but if you could get an in-home nurse to help look after him that may help. Let school counselor know what is going on and maybe from time to time see if they can check on the girls. Don’t be afraid to tell your kids that you can’t do something because you’re just so busy. Make sure you’re taking time out for yourself as well so you can process everything yourself and work though it.
2 Likes
I agree therapy can help. Either virtual or in person, whatever you can do. Also don’t be afraid to get therapy for yourself if you feel it may help. Gotta keep yourself strong to be able to help everyone else. Stay strong mama! I’m very sorry you are going through this.
Phone sessions! A lot of therapists offer them. Especially after covid. Prayers to you momma
Also check with the school to see if they have individual or group counseling for students going through similar situations.
Due to Covid there are a plethora of therapist who do virtual sessions - look into that for your girls, yourself and husband… Best of Luck and prayers/positive vibes for all.
2 Likes
Maybe virtual. Explain to them what’s going on ans if you can it virtually or if it’s possible that they come to you ? I’m sure virtual is an option since the Covid thing happened that’s what they had to do.
I’m so sorry your family is going through this.I would try for therapy for all of them together that way it’s only 1 appointment not 3.When you go just be honest and ask if they can do services together or even with you there with them.
A lot of therapists are still doing virtual therapy over zoom or something of the sort. Try that. I’m so sorry you’re all going through this. Prayers for all of you.
My husband had stage 4 prostate cancer in bones…he qualified for disability. Huntsman center helped get that set up…that might help you and family…
1 Like
U better hold them as much as u can!!! Mine was told December the 10 2021 & just died 2-22 22!!! Didn’t even last 3 months
2 Likes
Sending you so much positive vibes!!! You should know that you’re doing amazing. I think group therapy (1 together session) would be helpful. You could even zoom (just make sure you’re all together (so it’s easier / less distractions)?
I honestly don’t think there’s any right or perfect way to navigate through this, so continue to remind yourself, and your family, you’re doing amazing. 
Is he a Veteran? If that be the case call the VA.
A lot of therapist Are doing zoom appointments, not ideal but might be the best for your scenario.
Once you establish a relationship with the therapist they will offer virtual appts. It doesn’t help solve your ability to be in 100 places at once but at leastvthere is an opportunity to help some. I am a cancer survivor and have a 17 and 13 year old if you need help or just want to chat please let me know it is a hard road you must go down but know the people ypu have in your circle are willing to help. Don’t be afraid to ask!
1 Like
This is more than any human being can take on. I would tell them “you totally deserve a professional therapist on your side, but for the moment it’s not feasible. Give me the next __ months to figure out how to make it happen”. And in the meantime you can practice your listening skills with them, opening space to listen to what they have to share with zero judgement/advice. There are free techniques online, I love Chris Voss (FBI negotiatiator).
I would look in your community for assistance, no one can handle everything on their own.
Telemed appointments for therapy for all of you, yourself included. A cancer diagnosis takes a toll (mentally, physically, and emotionally) on everyone involved not just the patient. Also may be an option to change careers but ONLY if you want to and its logical. Times are hard but they shall pass. The best thing it to keep staying positive. Happiness is contagious
This is hard for everyone. You are doing a great job. The girls are old enough to grow up a bit. They will do better if they have tasks to help you and their Dad.
2 Likes
Also radiation and chemo are good medicine not poison. Stages are only numbers. A good attitude is healing
I would recommend contacting your husband’s oncology office. If they have Palliative care available they are there for exactly this kind of family support. I’m sure the hospital your husband goes to has a social worker who would love to assist you.
1 Like
Does your 16 year old drive? She could help…
Better help is a great online therapy place. I love it.
2 Likes
Have them visit at the school. Our therapist would come once a week to school
1 Like
Can you find an office that would do it by video where you could all do it at home? More places are open to that since covid
1 Like
See if they have a program in the school for extra counseling. They do have counselors at the school and you could set something up with them.
2 Likes
Call upon your Pastor, friends or family to help you. Most people would be most happy to be of help.
2 Likes
A lot of places ask family for help. Aunts , Uncles, grandparents, cousins.
1 Like
Definitely lean on family, friends, your church, if you have one. I lost my husband to cancer. I wouldn’t have made it without my church family and my pastor… good luck.
2 Likes
You need someone to help you….
Talk to the Cancer Center they can advise you for help
How about them seeing a therapist via the teleconference/video? The local mental health place where I live does a lot of their therapy sessions virtually, because it’s hard for the therapists and counselors to drive so far back and forth 5 days a week. They also have an emergency hotline I can call in case of emergency. I would contact my local social services office or ask the doctor or oncologists social services for guidance and resources, because I’m sure they deal with these kinds of issues regularly. Sending up prayers and positive light for comfort and strength in the times ahead for you all. 
Your girls are at ages where they can be a great help. They can also take the bus. I was earning at 16. you have your hands do full, but delegate to your family and allow them to be responsible
A lot of therapists do in home visits and saturdays or even virtual therapy now. Covid has changed a lot of things. Look into it mama. Also I’m so very sorry you’re going through this. Prayers to your family
1 Like
Virtual therapy. Better Help is one online option. My teen and myself has used it. It is very involved and can also be comforting being in your own space.
Group therapist;/family therapist/grief counselor for all at once.
1 Like
Check with the school. They may have a school therapist that the kids can see while in school. The therapist may have ideas on who can help you get everyone back and forth through programs available in the community as well. The irritation comes from trauma to the brain as well as just not feeling well. Hang in there. 
Good suggestions to get family to help and if your family is not close enough to help with transporting the children to appointments there may be sources geared to help. Turning to your Church members is a good one. Talk to people who might know sources of help for cancer victims and your whole family is affected by cancer.
Zoom therapy is available and so is phone therapy 
2 Likes
See if you can find someone who will do phone therapy maybe after a visit or 2. My parents were able to find that for my siblings
Can they do virtual appointments? That way they’re still seeing their therapist but no one has to worry about getting there. Be strong, mama
Transportation issues:
- Uber/Lyft, taxis, buses for the girls
- Medical transportation through your insurance company/ies for hubs and
maybe you & the girls for therapy. After initial visits, therapy can be online/phone. Or pick therapist’s in different time zones to get around your work hours. Take advantage of school counselors, and EAP programs at your work (both free/paid for) so y’all can get help where you are, plus hospital programs for families facing cancer. - Reach out to other parents/coaches to carpool. Given your circumstances I’m sure plenty of other parents would volunteer.
- Religious institutions often offer people who give occasional rides when needed. I drove one woman to therapy appointments for months as part of my church’s “Helping Hands” program.
- Friends, neighbors and coworkers would step up if you asked. You have especially tough circumstances and the more help you have the burden of driving your family around will be spread out so no one feels abused, only glad to help during trying times. People feel honored to be able to help.
Save your time & energy for your husband’s appointments.
Contact their school,
Or do telehealth
I feel your pain. My girls do virtual when I can’t get them there.
Check with school they maybe have therapist and if not could possibly sort zoom in school hours
I was thinking if you had friends or family that could help in the transportation. It would relieve some of the stress.
1 Like
Call 211 & see what options there are for you. Maybe you can find an agency that comes to your home, on your time or even someone who is doing appt’s over the phone, calling it telehealth. I Pray for your peace & strength, I can’t imagine what you are dealing with. Lots of love!
They could do a group counselling session. Not the same situation, but my sister and I went to a grief group together after our mom passed away
Some schools have therapists available that will come to school. Sometimes the counselors are qualified.
First of all I’m so sorry to hear the terrible Cancer news. Wishing you guys all the best with his outcome.
You need to hire an Nanny to help out. With all the work load, of taking young teen children to appointments if possible. You can’t do this on your own.
2 Likes
Check with your school as they will most likely connect you with the school social worker and they will set up a counseling for the girls. It can be done when/ at school too.
3 Likes
Maybe a therapist can come to u an help with transportation just take it a day at a time you all are extremely overwhelmed an sad take pics an start a scrap book just slow things down a bit family first although u need ti work u may have to cut hours or take pto reach out to your church an other programs for counseling may salvation arm nevertheless stay calm an do what u can ti keep i all calm an comfortable 
1 Like
It takes a village to help with kids.
I call my self the neighbors taxi bc when parents are working and cant get the kids where they need to go i pick up the slack and get them to practice school or appointments. I dont mind bc im the one who doesnt work.
See if u can have a friend or a family member who can help out.
I know it is not easy but keep your head up. Im sending some hugs and love and prayers friend.
I’m sorry to hear this, it’s so hard keeping the smile qhen you have everything going on plus how your feeling. I would speak to his macmillan nurse, they can help with grief counselling for all of you and help manage the thoughts and feelings your all having. She can also offer respite for your husband and dont take this wrong but sometimes we all need a few days to recharge. I speak from experience as a cancer nurse. Could you be granted some compassionate leave? If there are family around around help definitely call on them for help with your hubby, kids, general things and even support. Don’t try to manage all this alone else you also will end up burnt out. Good luck lovely, if you need to talk or ask advice please feel free to inbox me xxx
1 Like
Check out betterhelp.com it’s all online so you would not have to worry about driving all around town.
Sorry for being insensitive sorry for what you are going thru I cant even imagine sending strong vibes during these rough times check out that website its what you need
There are a lot of therapists online, cerebral is one. I’d check with your insurance for tele-health therpay options.
Some communities have help with driving people to appointments. Community Support Connections . So very sorry for what you are going through. Life is so hard sometimes. 
<3 xoxoxo.
Is there anyone you can reach out to for help? Family, church members, neighbors??? Maybe school can assist in some way. They have programs available that we can’t access without a referral. Some counselors will go to them.
I lost my dad to cancer when I was 11. I know all the stress you must be going through. You’re a great mom for caring about their emotional needs at this time. It’s easy to press through & put their emotional needs aside.
Ask them if they want to continue all the activities & such they’re in. They might just want to spend time with dad or all the activity may be too much stress. It’s ok to drop something.
1 Like
Some therapists are still doing virtual.
1 Like
They have appointments on Zoom now… just as affective as being in the office and more convenient for you… hope this helps
You need help it’s time to ask for help from friends and family if you have none start making some friends and ask for help you cannot do it alone you’ll wear yourself out in no time trust me radiation treatment is hard and in reality you don’t even know how sick or weak your husband can become he may need extra care Cancer affect the whole family and it’s not easy emotions are just part of it I wish you nothing but the best I hope you ask for help because sometimes people don’t know how to reas your mind or think you got it under control. God bless
Idk where you’re located but maybe the 16 year old can get her DL so that she can handle her appointment and after school activities on her own? It would help lessen your load for sure, maybe even finding Drs in the same office so that she can drive her siblings too? Also maybe the school counselor?
1 Like
First, I am so sorry for the devastating news and how much you are going there. I cannot even imagine. Don’t forget to take care of yourself when you can.
Reach out to any family and friends you have first (obviously not everyone has this)
Reach out to your kids’ school(s)
Reach out to every church in your area.
There is a lot more help than people realize!
Finding help will make you more able to take care of yourself as well. It is so common to get burned out really quickly when you’re the only one able to handle everything and it all falls on your shoulders.
Also, there should be emergency programs you will be eligible for due to your situation, such as EBT - which can help a lot when you’re having to miss work, so at least being able to buy food won’t be an issue.
I am sure there are plenty of legitimate volunteers who have been vetted that can help get your kids to and from where they need to go!
1 Like
Do it through the school then they can get help while they are there and it won’t add to your schedule
2 Likes
You can do therapy through face time on the phone. I’m so sorry to hear your family is going through such a hard time. 
If you haven’t already talked to them, talk to HR about FMLA leave. Get his doctor to fill out the part where you are your husband’s caregiver. It can help protect your job from the most likely increasing time off that you will be facing. So far as getting your kids to therapy on top of everything else they are doing, can you reach out to any other parents in the activities your kids are involved in? See if they can catch a ride with a friend for at least some activities? I feel certain there are friends who would like to help, but don’t know what they can do. This might be a way they can help you.
1 Like
So sorry you’re going through this. You can try video visits with the therapist. Many appointments are now covered under insurance now since Covid. I had many virtual visits with my drs.
When my mom had cancer I joined a support group for caretakers (I was taking care of her and my little sister) I also picked up a book on how to be a better support person for my mom while she went through her treatments and it had tips on how to be gentle on myself/cope with everything we were going through. I also signed my mom up for a meals service to lighten my load. I got meal trays for my sister, my son and myself to free up time. Reach out for help! No one can do it all!
1 Like
My daughter uses Dr on Demand for therapy. It’s free through our insurance.
First of all my heart aches for you and your children. It take a village to raise a child. Ask family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, acquaintances and the community for help…and NEVER regret asking. You’re not asking for a hand out, you’re asking for a hand up. Love & hugs from the Facebook community.
2 Likes
Virtual appointments
I would speak to the guidance counselor at their schools. They have counseling available in schools for just this type of situation.
1 Like
FMLA is amazing for this kind of situation. Most therapists do zoom if needed. Very sorry for all of this. Prayers for you all.
3 Likes
Contact your school. There are amazing counselors there that can help your daughters. They have family centers too that can help you. Good luck and many blessings to your family.
2 Likes
So sorry for what your going through, do u have any family or friends that can help. Even neighbors. Be strong.
1 Like
Have faith momma. Do not feel ashamed to ask for help when needed. They are all important and you will get through this. You are not alone.
You may be able to do telehealth therapy calls on the computer for days you can’t get them in to see the actual therapist. Therapy is great for everyone, even ones that think they don’t need it!
Virtually. That’s how I do ot.
School and churches have therapists. The cancer centers and associations have therapists. Check with local therapists. Some will do sessions on secure online services. Ask, yes ask, friends, neighbors and your daughters’ friends’ family to help with transporting your kids. They will be glad to help. Many times they want to help but do not know what to do. Use grocery delivery services. Take care of yourself and your emotions (my husband’s dr was enlightened enough to put him on an antidepressant). Talk to your husband’s dr and staff about your feeling. Sorry that this is a long post; however, I have been through this situation several times. My son had a traumatic brain injury sports related, I had cancer and later a bad auto accident that I almost died and after 3 weeks in the hospital before being transported to a nursing home with some rehab for 12 weeks for non weight bearing. We had great friends. Four ladies led the care of me and my family. One did meal coordination. One meal every other day was enough. Now there is meal train software. One cleaned my house and did laundry. Two ladies scheduled my helpers. I need help with breakfast and doing my makeup. I had an afternoon scheduled visitor. We talked, wrote thank you notes, did a devotional and so much more. Two families took my sons on their family vacation. A friend’s son moved the lawn. A friend’s daughter painted my toenails! I can not thank everyone enough! You are not alone. Above all ask God to meet your needs. Cry out to him when you feel overwhelmed.