My grandma gave me access to her debit card. In return for helping her with basically life. She’s in a wheelchair can’t walk can’t do anything for herself and has dementia however you spell it. My aunt is mad that she bought my family lunch and had her call the bank telling them I did not have access. They’re investigating and 72 dollars was used between 3 transactions. Can someone please tell me what’s going to happen to me? I can’t live life like this. She tries her best to torture me. She’s always been like this because my grandma is very close to me and it makes her jealous. She currently has my grandma living with her and told me I am not allowed back around her. I am sick to my stomach and just need answers.
38 Likes
Who has power of attorney
Nothin will happen since your grandma gave it to you. It’s hers to give and do with what she wants. Unless ur aunt has some kind of legal guardianship over her since she has dementia and controls her funds. But worst case scenario I pay it back and get a slap on the wrist but very doubtful in this situation
2 Likes
Sounds like the aunt is bitter 
She can’t do anything to you
2 Likes
Give the card back and let Auntie take care of her from now on. She wanted it she can have it
5 Likes
Who is power of attorney? That dictates alot
30 Likes
If your G-ma is of sound mind. Take her down and have her add you to the account
She may think she is being taken advantage of. Has there been negative history there or something to make her feel this way?
First of all
It’s on your aunt for knowingly allowing her the card and then not giving you any instructions for your outings with her along. If she doesn’t want to allow her to be the generous person that she wants to be then take the card away from her or put daily limits on it. Give good ground rules for any situation that may arise rather than waiting for failure and then handing out punishment. I’m sure glad I’m not related to the aunt!
If she has dementia she is not in her right state of mind to be giving you access to her money and you could get in trouble for that, so I would give her back the $72 and not take any money from her moving forward. I’m not saying you’re taking advantage of her or anything, but that is how the law will look at it. I also feel like you knew it wasn’t exactly “morally right” to take that money with her current state of health.
Just pay 72 dollars she can’t do noting to u
Why you would do that in first place, if you helping you me grandma ( which in my opinion everyone should) you should do it from your heart not for payments. But that’s me, doesn’t matter how mad we are in family in each other when someone needs help, we help each other. But I wouldn’t never use my older family members card, when even they give me to get something for them I usually use my own card
1 Like
I’m so but why would you use the card knowing she is gonna forget? How often are you using it? Are you actually using it too much?
1 Like
Even if she was lucid for a moments time, her general mind-state is not so I would just give the card back to avoid this from happening. If she pressed enough, she could have the bank treat each transaction as fraudulent. Does she have POA over your grandmother?
3 Likes
Does your aunt have power of attorney? If not she can kick rocks. If she does, simply don’t use her debit card UNLESS she adds you to the account and then she can’t touch you. Worst case scenario, if your grandmother is unable to verify for the bank that she authorized you to use the card, you’d have to pay back the money. If it’s deemed as theft (unlikely) it’s a misdemeanor (less than $100). That is WORST case scenario.
3 Likes
You legally need to be the Power of Attorney
If you done nothing wrong i would not worry, but it sounds like your grandma does not have the mental capacity to make financial decisions and this could be the reason for your aunt being mad, … you may get investigated
2 Likes
Give the card back immediately and don’t use it again.
It is likely there is no power of attorney which means your aunt is positioning herself to canibalize your grandmothers assets, in that scenario your a potential obsticle and thus the big bluster and denial of access to her
You never take money or items of any kind from someone who has dementia even if they insist they want you to have it. It’s just not smart. They usually don’t remember they even gave it to you and can believe that their things are being stolen.
1 Like
Somebody’s gotta Have custody of her she? She should have a guardian at lightum. Somebody should have power of attorney to take care of her business. Pay her bills, and it sounds like they’re probably out. After the money, go to court, dude.
1 Like
If your grandmother has advanced dementia she can’t give you permission. Who has power over her affairs?
Most likely nothing will happen over $72 but elder abuse is a thing and banks do not play. Even if you’re on the account. Give your grandma her card back.
6 Likes
Nothing.
She can do nothing.
If she has dementia then she can’t give you permission to access her bank account because she has a Payee in chargeof her finances. How are you taking care of her everyday if she lives with the aunt and she doesn’t allow you in her home? Honestly, give the card back, give your grandma back the $70 and take this as a lesson to never use some else’s bank information no matter what they say.
12 Likes
Well if she has dementia she very well doesn’t know 4 real that she is letting u do so she’s not if sound mind
There just seems to be more to this than is being said. If you’re taking care of her with life tasks where was she living? Where are you living with her? Why would you be using her credit card debit card when she has dementia? Doesn’t feel like you’re being totally forthcoming.
4 Likes
If your not legally her caretaker, you’re basically abusing her financially in the eyes of the law.
11 Likes
By just reading what you posted, it all depends on who has power of attorney over your grandmother, if such document exist. Since she has dementia, your aunt may have that power of attorney stating she is the one who can make such decisions regarding your grandmother’s banking.
As far as anything happening to you, that is a loaded question. Even if a claim is made, you can state that you had authorization to use the card. Issue here is, if your grandmother doesn’t remember giving you authorization because she has dementia.
8 Likes
You know she has dementia so she isn’t of sound mind to give you access. I’m sure the aunt has power of attorney since she lives with her so essentially you are stealing
18 Likes
If your Gran has dementia, you shouldn’t be using her card. Leave her money alone.
1 Like
Grandma is not in her right mind. Give the card back and leave her money alone. You’re wrong for that and you know it
25 Likes
Just pay her the 72$ end of story
1 Like
I got charged with fraud of a elderly person, They gave my case to the crimes against seniors bc he was in the hospital at the time the charges happened so his sister said he didn’t give me permission to use the card, I could if fought it and got a actual lawyer but instead I just took a plea deal which was 3 years probation (I only ended up doing 2) and had to pay it back not to him bc he had passed away instead it went to the sister, but I also spent over 500$ so if it’s your first charge like this and it was only 70$ and it’s your gmal and u actually had the pin they just gonna tell u to pay it back. At the worst u will get probation an pay restitution and after your probation is over u can get it off your record
If she is the care taker, and grandma does have dementia, charges could be pressed…
But it would probably cost her more than the $72 to do that.
19 Likes
If you were helping her which is great why did she buy your entire family lunch? That might why your aunt is mad. Buying lunch for you is one thing but your post says lunch for your entire family.
I had my aunt’s credit card as I would shop for her. She also had dementia. Her son got mad & called the police. I explained. They told me they couldn’t do anything because there was no proof I wasn’t telling the truth. I never returned the card. I just stopped shopping for her. (I told her her son & DIL wanted to take care of her but I still here if she needed me.) So based on my expirence if say nothing will happen. They can’t prove she didn’t authorize you to use it. If there’s charges on her card they can link to you personally that would be a different story.
Give the card back and dont take anything else from her. If what you are saying is true probably nothing will happen over 72.00. I would pay it back though and drop aunt
Judge more than likely won’t find you guilty. But pay the 72 dollars back
More then likely aunt is on the bank account also.
If her kids see she was going into this state of mind ,I’m sure this was arranged before grandma’s mind got to far gone, (most families gets this stuff ready)…you shouldn’t have used the card knowing grandma wasn’t able to make sound decisions…
But here you would be put in jail for theft (if aunt has poa)
1 Like
Why does Grandma still have a credit card with her?
Who gave her no the password ??
What did you use the money for…
…you better have receipts… who is her legal guardian if she has dementia…has it been established in court. Asking a person with dementia for access to their money is a little suspicious…only you and your aunt know what kind of people you both are…if you did nothing wrong, why worry…your aunt is obviously not in charge of her finances…I would have the aunt investigated, and see if she also uses the card and doesn’t want you spending the money…
1 Like
This sounds fishy AF. Your grandma has dementia and she gave you access to her card? No. Stay away from that before you get into big trouble you’re lucky it was as only 70 dollars and not felony weight money.
2 Likes
You can be charged for fraud, pay a fine or do some jail time depending on how far she goes to press charges on your grandmother’s behalf especially if she is her caregiver and power of attorney.
4 Likes
Oh boy take my advice you can absolutely be charged with identity theft! I cared for 2 disabled people and had permission through my contract with the state to help pay bills & write checks for their groceries etc! Long story short a family friend wanted my job so she convinced the elderly couple to go to police and file theft charges against me. Even though it was paying their bills and groceries they said I had no permission I was flabbergasted when police showed up at my home and arrested me for identity theft I fought for over 2 years to have my name cleared sad story is I had a worthless public defender he convinced me to plead guilty to a lesser crime and assured me that the case would be dropped it wasn’t i had to do 30 day’s of work release I was 50 and had a flawless record now im 55 with a felony!
They won’t press charges over that small of an amount
Probably depends on if your aunt is power of attorney. Personally I would just give the card back and the $72, but definitely get documentation if you do return either.
If she has dementia depending if she can make decisions for her self or not or lacks capacity and if you have (power off aterny) then it could be financal abuse
1 Like
Usually small amounts like that the bank will just refund and that’s the end of it. But I wouldn’t use her card anymore even if it’s for her because it’s not worth the risk. I called the bank when my card was stolen and used and I knew who did it. They say they are investigating but all that ever happened was my money was refunded…
If your aunt is her carer and she suffers from dementia then you really shouldn’t be touching her bank card and using it and really your grandma should have a power of attorney to handle her finance and medical stuff
1 Like
Sounds like the Aunt just wants Grandma’s money for herself sounds like it to me.
If gma has dementia shes unable to give permission.
Nothing will happen to you. The amount is too small. Please don’t use the card again
If she has dementia and isn’t in her right mind its financial abuse!!
A few questions, if you are helping grandma why are you taking money from her, she is your grandmother you should be helping from the kindness of your heart. Second why is she buying your whole family lunch and you said there was 3 transaction equalling $72, if it was just lunch why is there 3 transactions?
As your grandmother is elderly and has dementia
Why would you just help yourself to her bank account
Just to buy lunch for your family
Your Aunt is correct and should be angry
Hopefully your grandmother has given your aunt power of attorney
And can cancel that card
So you don’t have access to her
Limited income
You should be ashamed of yourself