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QUESTION:
"My sisters 50 yr old son has moved in with her. He has a history of drugs, divorced and never sees his children. She can’t get him to work or leave. She has anxiety problems and this is making her worse. He isn’t on drugs now bc he has no money and lays in bed all the time. She can’t get him to get mental help and she’s about to go crazy. What does she do."
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"Give him 30 days to get job and contribute or get out."
"Go ahead and get a 30 day eviction notice. You can’t help those who don’t want to be helped. Sounds like he’s using her if he isn’t even wanting to get a job or make any effort with at least getting mental help. Tough love, why should she sacrifice her mental health for someone who isn’t going to meet her halfway."
"get a legal eviction process started. That’s all she can do"
"Give him a written 30 day notice. If he doesn’t comply then go file for eviction."
"Tell him to get a job or get out! Sometimes tough love is the only option"
"It depends if she rents or owns. If she rents, she may have to get her landlord involved. Simply tell the landlord that she said he could stay a few weeks until he got on his feet, but now he won’t leave. The landlord will evict. If she owns her home, I suggest taking 3 steps. First, give him a written notice that he has 30 days to find a job and start contributing, or he’s gone. If he won’t get a job, or at least start helping around the house while continuing to look for a job, then she needs to serve him with an eviction notice. She needs to type up the letter and send it to him via certified, restricted mail. This ensures that the mailman will walk to the door, knock, ask for him directly. He will have to sign, stating that he received the letter. If he still refuses to leave, take it to court for a formal eviction. A judge will grant it and she can schedule with the local Sheriff for them to come out and physically remove him from the house. All of this will probably negatively impact any relationship that they have, but he is a grown ass man. It’s one thing to fall on hard times and need help, but he sounds like he’s just a straight up mooch and he will drain the life from her, as long as she allows it."
"You could report him to adult protective services and she could start the eviction process."
"Adult protective services. She can have him committed if it’s that bad. Any immediate relative can it doesn’t matter their age. I am a nurse and have worked in psych. They go in through er 24 or 48 he observation them when they find a bed he would go. Could be sooner depending on availability. If he doesn’t have insurance the hospital will help him apply for emergency Medicaid ."
"Give him a time frame to have a job and contribute. Tell the police ahead of time to help in force this. Yes it’s heartbreaking but he chose this not you. Allow him to stay longer will make it harder. Till then don’t cook for him don’t do laundry. It’s heart breaking but you count as does your health"
"He needs to get on board or move along."
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