Our 5yo daughter was doing amazing at school sweetest empathetic constantly do for others and be loving to others she was star student being awarded and suddenly close to the end of the school year she has turned a corner a crazy 180 into never before seen issues. She started carving into tals with scissors in class drawing on tables in class beingmean to siblings and friends and us as parents. Whining alot. Crying and throwing a fit when she doesn’t get her way. Let me preface this with a possibility, our family member our pup passed away the day after her birthday in April the timeline matches up but this is extremely off road. Our pup was 8 shes never known a day without him. Yes I have been in contact with the teacher the school and co counselor from school trying to talk about things fully and let her nurture her emotions. I feel guilty because when we lost him I wast okay enough to be present. He was like a son. And my babies lost their brother. My husband took over where I normally would. I mostly spent time crying. I feel like that has effected her her birthday party was cancelled and moved to the next weekend because of cost that weekend as well due to the payment process and emotional breakdown of all 6 of us. Any advice on how to maybe help her or seeif we can get her through this without having to resort to harsher punishments? Her teacher is very concerned because it as I said is insanely out of character. She was basically star student gone rogue rude mean and crawling under tables. Advice welcome?
Therapy by whatever means you can manage. I know it’s hard to find someone who is taking new clients, it can be expensive and time consuming. Enlist your “village” to talk to and engage your daughter—trusted relatives and friends, religious leaders to talk about death with her as a normal part of life, continue with the school counselor and use an Employee Assistance Program from work if you or her dad have one.
Find out what’s bugging her—the death of the dog, the idea of death in general, the thought of abandonment, or that this event triggered something else entirely.
Maybe do a remembrance ritual like you would with a person of a memorial service and reception after with family and close friends.
Equestrian therapy or an emotional support animal are possibilities also.
Go do something fun with your kids to get you all out of your heads. Go to a water park, trampoline park, bowling—anything active that will distract you all from your grieving and show you can have fun again. Go to religious services or engage in organized spiritual practices as there are usually comforting spiritual messages.
Maybe make a little shrine at home to your dog to show he lives in your hearts to bring closure.
So sorry for your loss and good luck bringing your daughter—and yourself!—back to your sunny selves.
She’s going to need to talk to someone You weren’t able to comfort her and dad may not have done very well at it.
She could very well be overwhelmed with emotions, school being highly demanding for her young age, dealing with the death of a pet, and everyday other emotions and feelings. School could either be too hard or too easy right now, so behaviors become present. If not challenged boredom sets in, if too hard the same happens. Maybe do some academic evaluations.
Create her a safe space she can go when upset and overwhelmed.
Let her know you are here to help her and you’re not going anywhere.
Check her sleep, is she getting enough well rested sleep?
Has her eating habits changed - a lot of foods alter behavior.
Is she getting more-or-less screen time, also impacts behavior.
Is something happening at school?
I would do play based therapy to help her.