My son will be 3 April 30th. He get very frustrated easily. He is speech delayed and I have him in speech therapy for it. The problem is when he has melt downs he bang his head against anything near him, if we’re outside he throws himself backwards on the cement and hit his head. Most of the time I’m there to prevent him from hurting himself other times I just let him be if he isn’t going to truly injure himself. I talk to him to try to get him calm and try to redirect. Sometimes he listens and sometimes he doesn’t, like I’m not sure if it’s him understanding trying to get his way not matter what or he really doesn’t understand. I worry for him and I’m so exhausted.
82 Likes
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. https://answers.mamasuncut.com/t/what-could-be-going-on-with-my-son/17032
Have you ever got him evaluated? Sounds like you are dealing with a diagnosis of some kind. Maybe Autism or ODD. I would suggest getting some help.
7 Likes
My son did this and grew out of it. Took one big smack to the cement during one of those tantrums. I legit had to stop babying him when he hurt himself and tell him well that’s what you get for flinging yourself around like that. He soon realized he wasnt getting the attention he needed. His verbal skills improved with school tho so that came after the tantrums stoppef
8 Likes
Talk to your pediatrician they will tell you what is going on mean while I’ll pray for you and your son hes young but you have to be the boss 
1 Like
Autism or Sensory Processing Disorder
5 Likes
My son is the exact same way. I mention it to his doctor each time we see him, and he tells me the same thing each time “it’s normal he will out grow it just make sure he is safe” I will say it has lightened up alot since last year but I’ve noticed if I don’t feed into it he won’t do it. I just monitor from a distance to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself.
3 Likes
It’s normal for the most part. Children often do it out of frustration or inability to communicate. Examine the behavior see if there is a way to meet the need before it becomes a problem. You can also reward when they communicate in an appropriate way. The hardest thing to do is ignore it but it’s the most effective treatment buy a safety helmet for the beginning part of this and it should work itself out. It’s not a common sign of autism so don’t jump the gun. He may just be frustrated and unable to communicate. Having him in speech will help with that aspect. It sounds like you’re doing the right things for your child keep up the good work.
Please get him in the birth to three program. They are specially trained to identify these behaviors and get you the resources he needs. If he’s not on the spectrum, it could be sensory or ODD ( oppositional defiant disorder ).
4 Likes
Get a hearing screening so you can see if he hears clearly then ask for an Autism evaluation.
4 Likes
He could have something going on, please don’t listen to someone telling you to let him bang his head and he will learn. Please continue to support him and keep him safe.
2 Likes
A friend’s son does that and has autism
2 Likes
My eldest was like this from 10/11months till about 3.5years. He’d literally bash about till he bled
The healtg visitors etc would tell me to leave him and that he ‘wont seriously hurt himself’ even though he did 
but they also told me to put him somewhere safe like his bed and shut the door for 5 minutes then try again with him, they got him Into a wee group with other kids his age and that kept him stimulated which helped so he grew out of it though he’d still slap himself in the face till about 5. His was just frustration,He’s 10 now and although short tempered he’s never tried to hurt himself or anyone else since.
Its him trying to get his way plus he could be frustrated about the communication. But he’s a boy as well. Just ignore his behavior when he does that.
That sounds like possibly autism. Overstimulated and can’t get his thoughts across.
4 Likes
Talk to his Dr get him tested
1 Like
Guys not everything is autism - what the parent should do is speak to their pediatrician and let them know of their concerns are and how to correct - If the child is seeing a speech therapist, I’m sure they’re noting what he does too- they only thing you can do is speak to the doctor.
8 Likes
My daughter is non verbal, she used to do this, since we got her using sign she is much better
1 Like
My daughter did simular things, she was non verbal until 3 when we did early intervention. We also found out she was on the autism spectrum. Definitely seek advice from your pediatrician. Hugs to you Mama 
1 Like
Not always autism I worked in a nursery for 17 years, behaviour like that can be many thing, maybe wanting his own way, maybe he just doesn’t know how to express himself if he doesn’t have the right vocabulary, it could be sheer frustration, x
3 Likes
Sounds like he may have Autism. You need to get him checked.
2 Likes
we have a 3 year old the exact same, the head banging comes in waves,last year it was all the time , he had a continual bruise on the middle of his head , scratches and everything, now it’s just when he is really frustrated,
to be honest it’s so normal and they do grow out of it
My daughter does this too I try and stay calm as I can. We are seeing Drs and have been referred on to a paediatrician. Please see your dr about this behaviour as it could be a number of things and only through testing will you get answers. Just remember you are doing an extraordinary job xxx
Get him evaluated asap
It could be Autism! Speaking from experience with my oldest son. 2 grandsons. Please take him to get checked out for Autism.
4 Likes
He’s frustrated. He can’t communicate what he’s thinking. Probably extremely smart but nobody knows it because he can’t express it.
3 Likes
My autistic did this as well. Have him evaluated:pray:
3 Likes
Consider the possibility of him being over stimulated. Electronics, sugar, red dye, and caffeine will all create over stimulation in young children.
2 Likes
Sounds like autism, although could just be frustrated from not being able to communicate his thoughts. Get him tested. They make helmets for little ones that bang their heads on things like he’s doing.
2 Likes
When children who are speech delayed can’t express their feelings and emotions they tender to show their frustrations through their behavior. So him doing that is him showing what he can’t say. All that said it would be a great idea for him to be evaluated so you can get ahead of it. In the meantime you might want to discuss with his speech therapist on getting some type of communication cards or communication device so he can start to learn how to use them while he’s in speech therapy. It might hinder his speech therapy or enhance it which is why you need should ask a professional. Also in the meantime getting him a helmet and putting it on his head when he has these tantrums will be good. As a RN I’ve worked with kids who were special needs that did this and they had helmets to prevent real damage. You might also want to childproof his room/house if his aggressive and self harm behavior intensifies with his strength. You don’t want him pull dresser or TVs on himself one day when he’s upset.
2 Likes
Definitely sounds like autism. My son started out this way. He then went on to using his hands to smack himself in the head, hitting his legs, biting his arms etc
1 Like
I’m going through this with my son, doing play group, speech therapy, had hearing test, but intill we get a referral to pedatrian just do what your doing i know it’s hard
That sounds like autism!
Find ways of non verbal communication like pictures of routines and needs like food or drink. He’s probably frustrated he can’t communicate his wants and needs
Sounds a little like sensory processing disorder. I would talk to your pediatrician
I have 6 kids and my little guy will be 3 in June he’s very similar with his outburst and his rage. He also will injure himself without any reaction to pain. We ve seen a developmental therapist and have yet to determine a name for what’s going on except he’s 2 and figuring it out. I have another son with autism. I know what it’s like we’ve tried soo many things recommended by therapist. Offering hugs. Offering to find what he needs by asking him to show me wen I can’t understand his words. Absolutely nothing has helped. Now his Dr says we watch wait and redirect as gently and calm as you can. Constantly talking about whatever is being done. I wish I had words to offer but we’re learning too and I just want you to know it’s normal what your toddler is going through not your fault and your re not alone. Big hugs.
It sounds very much
Like Autism
Please have your child tested asap
Autism mum here. The combination of the head banging and speech delay puts my radar up for autism. Children can have one of these issues but combined could be an indication of something more. The spectrum is huge and can include many things. Find a paediatrician with experience in behavioural issues and make an appointment.
1 Like
My sons 5 and when frustrated will throw himself about or bang his head, he’s been diagnosed as autistic early last year and I was told by the pediatrician that this can be an autism thing as they struggle to communicate their frustrations verbally so they lash out mainly against themselves as a way to express their anger/sadness. All you can really do is try to make sure they dont hit off something that can hurt them and perhaps as about an assessment for autism especially with the speech delay it’s could be that or global development delay and they’ll give you some amazing suggestions for help/groups for stimulation and education for the two of you moving forward!
He could be flustered due to having a hard with communication which could cause this. How ever this is how my son was. He has a sensory processing disorder, He was very much a seeker. He would throw him self on the floor, Bang his head, run into walls just to get that hard contact. You can ask for a sensory profile to be done as well. we were on Speech therapy at 3 and Occupational therapy at 18 months old. My son is NOT autistic. He has SPD, ODD and ADHD. Try to remain calm and try picture or sign language added to verbal communication. Best of luck to you.
1 Like
Have him checked for sensory disorders as well, it’s a form of autism
This is how my son was, started around 2 he’s now almost 8. He was tested for autism and everything else you can think of. He was diagnosed with adhd. Find every avenue you can to have him tested and in to “therapy” now it’s not a easy thing to keep a handle in no matter the diagnoses! Good luck mama!
Same with my son. He is in OT & speech.
My cousin’s son (now 12 & no issues) went through this when he was young. He was speech delayed & it was his frustration. He outgrew it. Talk to your doctor but I don’t think there’s reason to panic
This was exactly my son. He does not have autism. He needed his tonsils and adenoids out. The meltdowns were frustration re speech which was totally resolved after his op.
My son has sensory processing disorder and did the same thing until he could talk. I just let him have his meltdowns and would put my hand or foot under his head so it wouldn’t hurt him to bang it against the wall or ground. Once he could talk, he stopped. He will occasionally still smack himself in the head when frustrated. This is the only way they know to express their feelings or overwhelm, especially if they aren’t able to speak yet. And even once they can, they may not be able to understand or articulate their feelings. Just keep him safe while he does this and have him evaluated for SPD.
Has he been evaluated?..Has he been diagnosed with anything?..Sounds like he may be on the spectrum for Autism or has both ODD & ADD & f it is ADD,…he maybe doing it,just for attention
3 Likes
My adult son went through this while he couldn’t communicate (couldn’t really speak/communicate until age 6…on Autism spectrum)…trying to find a non-verbal way of communication may help your son. Exercise will help release the frustrations, too. Diet is also key (limit sugar, gluten, dairy).
I would see a developmental pediatrician to see if there is something more than a speech delay. My daughter did this. I used visual pictures to help her communicate her wants, needs, and feelings. Sometimes, children get frustrated when they feel as though they can’t express themselves. Good luck to you and your little one!
1 Like
Autism. Go and get him assessed. They will help you and give you useful tools for now and the future.
3 Likes
My cousin use to do this. He’s fine, amazingly. 
He use to headbutt concrete when he was mad 
He isn’t autistic but you should always check with your doctor
My daughter is Autistic and does these things. I’m not saying that’s what your son has. Her language is delayed and I believe that’s what causes most meltdowns. I try to think if I couldn’t communicate or verbalize my wants or needs and didn’t know how to manage emotions or denials yet I would be frustrated too. If not already see if your speech therapist can give you some visuals to set expectations ex first breakfast then play. It helps my daughter understand what’s going to happen and causes less meltdowns
3 Likes
My 3 yr old son does this to I go see the doctor with him today thankfully but his speech feat is a factor they struggle with communicating and that’s their way of expressing themselves it is all they know how to do. Talk to your dr about a specialist that can help you and your baby to better communicate what he wants and needs it will work wonders. That’s what we have been trying at home is doing some sign language with him and he’s slowly starting to calm his tantrums
He might be autistic.
2 Likes
Have you been in contact with a speech pathologist? The speech therapist was also a huge help in having my child assessed.
Your medical doctor can also point you in the right direction. Assessment is keyx
My son did this also, he was about 7 when he stopped
My son will be 9 April 30th, he also just graduated his speech therapy class, It took me until he was 8 before a doctor would actually see him (I got major run around from SO man hi level facilities it was in real then covid hit) and he as ADHD and ASD (autism spectrum disorder) he’s high functioning, we have been referred to a behavioral specialist, it has helped! I would take him to be tested! I was told mine couldn’t be tested at such a young age over and over and it was all lies! He needs to be evaluated before you get any kind of understanding! It will get better though!
1 Like
My 5yr old has the same birthday… we went through the same phase until he had more of a grip on speaking, but we found out hes developmentally behind so
So sorry for your situation
My son did this when he was younger and frustrated! He would do it because he couldn’t communicate. Once he was able to talk and we were able to understand he stopped!
Has he had his hearing checked?
1 Like
All these he is ‘autistic’ comments 
he is 3 years old with a speech delay, trying to communicate things to you that you don’t understand will make him frustrated & cause a meltdown! Ever heard of the ‘terrible 3’s?’ 2,3 & 4 year olds (even 5,6,7 etc) all have tantrums as they are overloaded with new things to learn & it’s very hard for their little minds to comprehend… my now 16 year old was exactly the same - he’s not autistic, my now 4 year old is the same (he’s got speech delay too) it’s a part of growing up! It’s perfectly normal for toddlers to have meltdowns without labelling them as being on the spectrum! Xx
2 Likes
My sons do this and there ADHD!
When he was diagnosed with a speech delay and referred to speech therapy…Did his doctor or speech therapist suggest anything to get to the bottom of why the speech delay exists in the first place? I’ve had two kids in speech therapy.
My oldest, it was assumed that his speech delay was due to several reasons. First, hypoxia at birth. Second, he has a paralyzed arm…he had surgery at 4 months. It was a 7 hour surgery which is known to cause some regressions/delays. Thrid, that the physical milestones had taken such precedence that speech just sort of took a backburner. Turns out he has adhd. He was diagnosed and started meds at 5 and actually graduated out of speech a few months later. He was then diagnosed with autism almost 2 years after the adhd diagnosis.
My Youngest had actually started to talk and then…lost his words. We were first referred to a ENT, who said his ears were clear. Then referred for an ASD eval. In the process of waiting for the ASD eval he had a chronic ear infection (from january until may) and because of covid we struggled to get him seen in a…timely manner. Turns out that a large part of his speech delay was related to fluid in his ear. He has subsequently been diagnosed with sensory processing disorder and adhd…although not yet being treated for the adhd due to his age.
If no one has suggested any type of evaluations for your child, it’s time that you as a parent bring it up to the doctor. What you’re describing could be a myriad of things. SPD. ADHD. ASD. It could just be simply frustration due to the inability to communicate.
However at this point For your son’s benefit it’s time enlist the help of doctors and find the reason for his behavior.
I’ve found that the earlier you start working with the issues the better it is.
My oldest son (the one with adhd and asd) has been in physical or occupational therapy his entire life because of his arm, he has very few sensory avoidance issues…Whereas my youngest has many. Actually lack of sensory avoidance and seeking is one of the big reasons autism was dismissed with my oldest for so long.
There’s other things mixed in there too, but that’s a BIG one.
I would suggest keeping a journal.
Look at your child objectively (i know its hard) and keep a log of behaviors; when you’re writing down what the behaviors are…make sure to note what was going on when the behavior started. Also make sure you take note of things you may just find quirky.
My oldest…lining his toys up, burrowing under pillows, hanging out in cabinets, repetitively singing songs, repeating phrases/sounds he found amusing. These weren’t “bad” behaviors i always found them just sort of him…but they were symptoms of autism (in case you’re wondering he still does all three…just because they’re symptoms doesn’t make them wrong or bad).
My youngest is a massive sensory seeker (he seeks almost as much as he avoids) and some quirky things he used to do…would be to put his feet against me and push into me with his feet. It “looked” like he was kicking me…but really he was sensory seeking. He’d also do things like climb and roll all over me. “bite” me, but when i stopped and paid attention…he was really trying to bite my shirt…not me…and that too was part of him sensory seeking. Even things he avoided gave clue to the fact that he has sensory processing disorder (vacuum. certain music. He had major issues with bathtime. He’d only eat certain foods that all had certain sensory inputs in common)
3 Likes
My daughter did this
She autistic
But I’m time you can tell between not getting own way & autistic meltdown 
1 Like
Have them also give him an evaluation for OT
He can grow out of the head banging my son has done it for 2yrs he’s now 3 and doesn’t do it as much. I just ignored it unless it was gunna send him to the er like on something sharp just try to look with the corner of eye and not give full attention.he might be frustrated cause he can’t communicate with you
My son does this and the Dr said it’s because he doesn’t know how else to show he is frustrated. When he start to show that he is frustrated try and show him something else before it gets to the point when he hits his head. And it has helped my son a lot. Good luck 
My son will be 3 on April 30th as well. We had an issue with him hitting himself in the head, I asked his Dr and he recommended I just ignore it all together. Don’t even try to correct it just ignore it all together. But with him trying to hit his head on cement and such I worry a little more. Maybe just ask his Dr? You’d he surprised how normal it is in kids with “disabilities” (that’s not to discredit anybody I just feel that word has negativity around it and just because you’re “different” doesn’t mean something is “wrong” with you.) And how many options and tricks they have now💖
2 Likes
Get him a helmet to protect him. Make it fun to wear
Have you had his ears checked out. ?
We had to get ear tubes for my child.
Lay a pillow under his head and walk away. Never engage him during this time. When the tantrum is over explain to him that he needs to use his voice so you can understand what he wants. He will grow out of it. He just needs direction to control his feelings.
1 Like
Take your child to a Developmental Pediatrician but he sounds like my son who is autistic 
2 Likes
Could he be autistic?
5 Likes
Have him tested for Autism.
2 Likes
My twin grandsons were speech delayed. The doctor suggested we teach them some sign language . He told us that not being able to communicate could lead to aggression. The first time my grandson signed we practically jumped through the roof!
Could be a sensory processing disorder. Could be autism. Could be both. He needs to be evaluated to see. My daughter also has a speech delay and bangs her head. She is going to he evaluated for autism soon. Fairly certain she has it as she has other symtoms. Distracting them when they act out helps. Best of luck from me and Fae
1 Like
Ask for occupational therapy too! Be very vocal to his pedi about his behavior.
Try baby sign language. This made a big difference with my son.
He started banging his head at 6 months. Stopped at 3yrs old. 😮💨
My 2.5 year old acts the same exact way and also has a speech delay. I told her Dr about her hitting her head against the floor or wall or anything hard and the dr told me it’s probably related to not being able to express her words and emotions.
2 Likes
I work with kids who have special needs. Definitely have him tested for autism. Frustration, speech delay, and self harm like banging heads are all signs of autism.
2 Likes
Sign language works amazing for children who haven’t learned to use words yet… communication is the biggest reason kids do this out of total frustration. Bring your child into your calm… a big hug and saying I understand you’re frustrated… help me to understand… take a deep breath… and try to show or tell mommy/daddy what has you upset/frustrated. My daughter has sensory issues and is NOT autistic… and these work. Maybe joining a sensory group… sounds like
Possible sensory issues in my opinion.
1 Like
My advice to you would be to seek medical advice it may be something more serious than what people are suggesting
1 Like
My son is on the autism spectrum. He did the exact same stuff at the same age your son is now. A friend loaned me a helmet made for that and helped getting him to stop eventually…mostly because he didn’t like wearing stuff on his head then. He ended up growing out of it after a couple of years. He’s 19 now. I would recommend taking him in to analyze his behavior 
2 Likes
I currently have a 3 year old that is doing alllllll sorts of things for his speech and we have learned that we get on his level. Tell him that we don’t understand what he wants and we can’t until he wipes his tears. That is our newest method and seems to work but I will be this parent and I will say this at that age and the speech delay they need to just throw the fit. Protect him and then walk away. You feeding into it doesn’t help with either the speech or the tantrum. My sons last 30seconds-a minute when we do that.
My son will be 3 in a few weeks and is on the spectrum and has a sensory disorder. He does the same thing. Does yours like bath time? When mine is overstimulated he tends to have melt downs and a bath calms him down so much
2 Likes
I went through this… my kid stopped after almost giving himself a concussion. He passed every test they threw at him and the Drs blamed it on frustration with communication. Once he started using sign language he calmed down a lot as well.
Have you had your child evaluated for autism? Also is he in Occupational Therapy as well as Speech Therapy? It sounds like he needs so sensory input…
Autism spectrum ??? He has Been tested ???
Also my son is now 14 and they are wanting to test him for autism for the 1000th time bc of anger issues… Yet he has never been diagnosed. He has sensory issues as well. So go to a behavior therapist it will help both of you a lot. Mainly your parenting strategy. They will give you the tools you need to navigate these situations. Make a safe place your child can go and tantrum. Sometimes the suggestions seem mean but they are beneficial… Like I stopped trying to protect his head banging behavior and he stopped once he hit his head good enough. I hated it but the Drs were correct.
my son did this when he was younger. he will be 4 April 3rd. thankfully he outgrew the head banging when mad but now he has progressed to hitting people and yelling at us really loud. his speech was delayed and we had to put him in therapy. a year later and he talks up a storm. some days are better than others. my trick is to ask him if he is listening. ill say if you are listening look at mommy and 75% of the time he looks and that’s when I continue with what I want to say. Your son could have anger issues. my son did and does. I’ve tried everything to help him and sometimes all you can do is just let him go through the mood.
Always let him knowyou are there if he wants to try and tell you what’s wrong. tell him that you can’t read his mind but you can try your best to understand what is wrong al he has to do is try to talk to you.
I’m surprised your speech therapist hasn’t recommended a behavioral therapist. Sounds like he is autistic.
Get a referral from your pediatrician to see a psychiatrist. They can usually narrow down the issues.
Most likely Autistic
1 Like
Has he been tested for autism?
I would put a helmet on him
1 Like
If he doesn’t have a brain injury… he’ll surely develop one…by hitting his head…think he needs meds…
Sounds like brain poisoning. You need to get him tested for autism and detox him. You can fix him. Go back to the earth with his diet, cut out all processed foods.
2 Likes
It sounds like autism. My son was diagnosed when he was about 3. I would definitely bring these issues up with your pediatrician.
2 Likes
Talk to your doctor about sensory disorder and your speech therapist sound like he has a hard time regulating his emotions make sure to all avenues and plz do not self diagnose it will drive you crazy
1 Like
My nephew did this and once he turned 4 he stopped we dont know why but he would cover himself with his blanket and throw himself around and scream and when we tried to hold him and tell him its okay were here he would headbutt us and fight us so we started to let him do his thing and after a while he just stopped he only said yeah but now he talks and is a lot calmer we dont know why though
1 Like