What could I have done?

Bc of a family discord, I was asked not to be in the family receiving line at my brother’s funeral. What could I have done?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What could I have done? - Mamas Uncut

Sounds like something only you’re gonna have an answer for. We don’t know you or your family.

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You could of still got in the line, either way you are family

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Tell them to go fuck themselves

Get ur head out of ur ass and think about what u did wrong

I’m sorry. You could always stand on the other side

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Line up if you feel strongly about it.

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You are family whether they like it or not, everyone at the funeral knows it. It was just to make it look like you didn’t care at all

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It’s hard to give advice with little information
What was the reason your family said you could not be in the line?

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How can anyone help when we don’t have a clue.

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Idk you’d have to ask them. We don’t know you or them. But you may have upset them somehow

Go in with your head held high and line up even if you are in the wrong cause you only get this one chance to say goodbye and no one can tell you what to do but yourself.

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Nothing, they set boundaries your only job ti respect them

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There’s not enough information for us to answer this

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What kind of family lets drama keep a family member from the line at their own brothers funeral?

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Go anyway stand alone it’s your brother

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We can’t help you with no context, we can tell you though that unless you murdered your brother, or are threatening to make a scene, you deserve to be in that line and it’s disgusting they’re taking it from you.

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Obviously more to this but. My sister recently passed. I was close with her. Other 3 n brrother weren’t. Everyone showed but they stayed in back. I was in front with my mom. It was not a regular funeral tho…just a memorial. If its gonna cause issues then step back and just be there. He knows your there

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You have an idea what you’ve done. There’s no way you don’t have a clue and gave zero information

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WOW! I am sorry that happened

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I’m so sorry for your loss. :pray::pray:

Did his wife ask this or your family. We don’t have enough info here.

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ok, that is your brothers funeral. that is not ok. if me or any of my family members were told that we weren’t allowed to be in the family receiving line at my brothers funeral we would’ve 100% still been right there. thankfully we’re very close and we wouldn’t of said that to one another. my brothers funeral went as well as we hoped, there should be no drama at a funeral, sorry they are treating you this way and sorry for your loss❤

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You need to ask this question of the people who asked you. Not a bunch of strangers who have no clue about your life

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If you don’t know how tf should we? Lol

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My step dad killed himself, my brothers and sister stood with me and my mom shaking hands. His kids sat in the back.

Look you didn’t give any context as to why you’re in this situation so it’s hard to say. But what I will say is ain’t a soul on this earth gonna stop me from being there at my brother’s funeral :100:

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No one knows, but obviously something bad :woman_shrugging:t2:

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The funeral director stood by me all the way. Even the rosary of roses were trashed, by his wife, the funeral director supported me. His wife bullied me at the funeral. The director stood beside me. I profusely apologized to his wife & their children for whatever I did…no response. Strangers gave respective eulogies…I wasn’t asked. Now, so many years later, his wife is getting really socially friendly with my daughter excluding me entirely. I’m done: this family discord has been going on for almost 40 years.

If you want an honest answer ask them because we doing know what you may or may not have done.

Nothing! You are currently existing as their emotional scapegoat! From personal experience it is WAY easier to be mad and angry vs feel the sadness! Your family is choosing anger vs sadness right now. In NO way at all am I condoning their behavior. I will tell you 1000% need to protect yourself and your own feelings! You are also dealing with an unimaginable loss and that is going to be hard forever! Remember how strong you have been, are now and will have to be to continue without the support of the people that are experiencing the same/ similar trauma as you are! Their privilege of having their grief village will make you stronger and them weaker, because you had to do it on your own! Just don’t let it harden your heart and soul! Remember that when you meet new people, if you are empathetic and sympathetic for those that have gone through or are going through similar trauma, they will be your new village. You got this now (Know it doesn’t feel like it!) but YOU GOT THIS!

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Idk, but go to the funeral of your want, and then be thankful you don’t have to wait in line making those who don’t matter feel better

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No clue, you would have to ask them

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who made the decision, parents, siblings? Do you think your brother would have wanted you standing in line?

You would seriously have to ask them…

I would have stood in the line anyways . He is your brother

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You should anyway he is your brother.this is so wrong no Mather who told you that

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Why not just ask someone

Just what you did. Opt out !!

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There is always the option to send flowers and not be at the funeral. It can be argued that the person’s spirit is not at the funeral, but has already moved on. When family chooses to be toxic even at a funeral, you are better off grieving and remembering the person on your own.

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If you really want to get down to the heart of the issue, talk to your family. Start with the ones you’re on the best terms with, then go from there. Was he married or in a serious relationship? Maybe the issue is with his spouse or SO. The issue can only be resolved if everyone involved is open to respectful and productive communication. You’re going to have to put in the effort to speak with them.

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My brother I would have anyways

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How the heck would we know

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How r we supposed to answer that question when we don’t know what you did to begin with was there beef between you and your brother or was there a restraining order in place against you was it your fault he died we need clue :female_detective: in order for proper answers otherwise play stupid questions get stupid answers

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That’s BS sometimes people don’t know how to act when there’s a death it doesn’t have nothing to do with THEM what would the person who passed WANT. This bothers my soul… sorry I hope things turn around for you!

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I don’t know, what could you have done? Obviously there’s a reason this has happened. Without any specifics of this, that, and the third… all I can say is you need to sit down with your family and talk with them “heart to heart” to get to the bottom of it. For all I know, you could have done something dckish or are a dck, or it could be just your family/friends wanting to be a bag full of d*cks :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Did the request come from one person or .most of the family? If it came from one person I would check with other family
Members. Otherwise go to the funeral but skip the receiving line

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No one has the right to tell you to Not be in the line.
He was your brother!!
Their problems are not yours! Even if they have a problem with you. It’s their problem still. That’s your brother GO STAND WHERE YOU BELONG!!

I am Sorry for your loss. May God bless you with peace and comfort. You have my deepest sympathies and prayers.

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Have a sit down with them, your not giving us all the info

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We don’t know what happened…so it’s hard to say tbh

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Don’t make this about you. Go to the service act like a decent human and stfu and sit with everyone else and pay your respects. I guarantee if you act up you won’t have any family left. I am sure you know exactly why you weren’t included. Get over it and discuss with someone that actually speaks to you a few weeks after his services.

That’s your brother you have every right to be there… period
I’m sorry for your loss …
Prayers for healing

Just go stand in the line up and tell everyone else to shove it!

Way too little information to be able to say anything. Sorry.

Sorry this isn’t a psychic forum :rofl:

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Probably not be a dick

If you had a problem with your brother & other family so badly that they didn’t want you there then have enough respect for him & your family not to be. The fact that you are looking for ways you could’ve forced yourself to be where you weren’t wanted tells a lot about why you weren’t wanted.

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Why are you asking us? Ask yourself or them.