Have you tried cannabis?
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Iām sorry but get that man a sex toy and yourself a housecleaning helper. You donāt deserve that.
Try organic holistic meds or go to a holistic doc
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I donāt think you or him are being selfish.
Really he loves having sex with his wife and he is trying to compromise and understand you but also really wants to have sex with his wife. (Some men would just be out having sex with somone else, but he just wants his wife) this is a hard situation for you, but itās also a hard situation for him too.
Keep trying to work on somthing that works for both of you and makes you both happy.
it might be hard to find what works, but just donāt give up, keep smiling and trying until you find somthing that will work for both of you. 
Your husband loves having sex with you, and he also is trying to consider and care about it being hard for you, but gets frustrating for him at times as well.
Is there a time during the day or night where you have more energy then other times? Maybe children can go visit family, friend, babysitter for a few hours from time to time when YOUR feeling like you can handle it?
Maybe if he helps out a bit more around the house when he can you will have more energy at night? With effort and desire to understand each orhers point of view, in time Iām sure you guys could work this out not in the most perfect way, but well enough to show each other that your both making an effort to make it work when you can. 
No, youāre not selfish but he is.
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Heās an a$$ an feels entitled to demand sex AND orgasm from you. Iād dump him. Heās not helping with the kids or the house, both are still his responsibility, IDGAF how much he works. Your full time job is being disabled and chronically ill. If he canāt get his 
together and do FAR more and better, Iād leave and sue for alimony and child support.
I do not mean to be rude but Iām in this same situation (multiple autoimmune diseases, one of which causes pain. And a SAHM to a 6m old.) My husband is very understanding. Youāre husband needs to man up and realize that guilting/pressuring (or just being a jerk until you cave) you into sex when you donāt feel well or have no energy is just as bad as forcing himself on you. I understand sex is important in a marriage but if you canāt have a happy marriage without tons of sex then there is a deeper problem. Maybe he needs professional help to address his sex addiction.
Tell him that he needs to respect your boundaries. You wouldnāt force him. And why are you apologizing when you donāt orgasm? Ridiculous. Tell him no and donāt let him guilt you. He can do it himself.
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Go see your doctor and get yourself some testosterone cream. If you want to be in the mood to that is. Lol
Go to your doctor and ask must be something with your hormone. You guys should try to get a baby sitter once a week and have a one on one. I think as couple no matter what we go through in the relationship we still have to make time for our other partner. It would be unfair if you only give him attention once a month. Imagine if he does try to get it somewhere else it would be more devastating. Try counseling, try to get check for your hormones and spice things up a bit so you can get in to a mood. Both should make a compromise. Do something that would get you both excited 
.
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Sex is more important to some people than it is to others. No, he shouldnāt be getting mad at you for not preforming as often as he would like and he should be understanding all the time not just sometimes. I have a higher sex drive than my husband. When he got covid (didnt know he had it) i was sexually frustratedā¦ and ya itās a thing. But I wasnāt mad at him. I was mad at the situation. I didnāt try to take it out on him but he knew I was āfeiningā which made him feel guilty and I still feel bad I ever made him feel that way. I used toys but it wasnāt the same. The way your hubby flip flops makes me think heās considering cheating. Pretty much saying āI want to sleep with you but you cant or donāt want to and I have needsā you should never have sex when you donāt want to. Itās your body not his he canāt just do what he wants to with you whenever he wantsā¦ Marriages are about compassion, compromise, trust, etc. And it sounds like yours is already lacking in the first 2ā¦ It will only get worse.
He sounds like an entitled ass.
Maybe take him with you to your doc & let the doc explain to him exactly what you are going through bc either he doesnāt hear you, believe you, or care what you have to say. Sometimes when they hear the doc (say the exact same thing) it registers.
Once a night is ridiculous! Throw him some lotion!!
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Your husband is a piece of
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I just love the comments telling this woman to get hormone treatments to āput her in the moodā rather than saying the guy needs to get over himself. Youāre not going to be in the mood when your suffering through debilitating pain and exhaustion. Hormone therapy isnāt going to fix this. But letās just ignore the fact the guys a selfish ass.
Get him a pocket 
and call it a day.
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No, your sick. Thereās a difference. You need to go to your Dr and get a vitamin panel. I have hypothyroidism. It causes weakness and extreme fatigue. The only thing that has helped me is vitamins.
Ashwagandha is good for mood. But also boosters the estrogen.
B complex will help with energy.
Do some more studies on vitamins if you want to learn more. But, every ailment can be cured with vitamins.
Magnesium will help with insomnia but, there are several types. Read up on which one you need. Talk to your Dr about checking your levels. It has helped me tremendously. God bless. 
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Set him free to find someone that meets his expectations!! He is extremely selfish!!
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Bring in some toys and try other sexual thingsā¦ ā¦if penis in vagina is what is causing more pain maybe you guys can find something that works for both of you
I have bad health issues as well and my husband has a high sex drive but he knows my issues. He will ask can we do something and when I say no, he says okay and does something else or cuddles up behind me depending on whatās going on. He has told me " if you are not feeling good then I donāt want to do anything, I donāt want to hurt you, do I need to run some water for you?" I have spine issues and other times he will tell me to stay an rest when our daughter wakes up from her nap. Never let a man make you feel guilty for being tired, I understand he works alot, but so do you and you need rest. I would try to talk it out
All your comments. Sounds like he is trying to understand but also get frustrated. He has feelings too. You said he works really hard for his family. He cares but maybe at a loss himself. Get a babysitter once a week and have a date night. Maybe get counselling. Make it work xx
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Sorry . But maybe he should get a lil more familiar with his right and left handā¦ youāre doing the best you can. Why doesnāt he try and help you out more so youāre not totally exhausted when bed time comes around and maybe might be able to meet his needsā¦
hang in there!! Hugz to you
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Maybe he should stop focusing on himself and maybe try different things for your pleasure ā¦ughā¦heās selfish 
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Thatās a hard one, either you can say no because itās your body your choice or you can meet him halfway, maybe try sleep sex if you consent to that or just let him do all the work every two days.
Your not the selfish one here. He needs to get over himself and try to understand your health comes first
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Men are jerksā¦that is all
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Fake it until you make it. Get a āfriendā and give yourself an orgasm every day. Watch how you change lol
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You poor love!! No your not selfishā¦itās the other way round,Iām so sorry heās like this to youā¦so unfairā¦and very disrespectful of himā¦he needs a wake up call and stop thinking about his brains in his trousersā¦Iām sorry I think I be wanting outā¦itās not how I expect to be treated in a relationship or marriage.
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Momma, I hear you and I feel you! Autoimmune disorders are HARD no matter which kind! You rock, and are an amazing momma and wife! I too have a couple autoimmune disorders and a young child, so I get you! Talk with your rheumatologist about changing your meds until you find ones that work, and have your husband go with you to your appointments so that he can learn and be informed. And yes, find a sitter so that you can spend time with your hubby. You both deserve a break!
This is so sad to me. He works alot and you respect that but you work 24/7/365 and he doesnāt respect that. This isnāt a give & take relationship. One day soon as soon as he walks thru the door, hand him the baby and tell him itās his turn. Oh supper needs cooking, clothes need washing, and house needs cleaning also. Let him get up with the baby all night. Until he gets a feel of what your day is like, heāll never understand just how tired you are. I know itās hard but me & the baby would not be staying in the house if he wants to fight about sex. Iām not arguing in front of my baby for any reason. My youngest just turned 6 and I have been single almost 6 years. My ex husband (her Daddy) and I now get along alot better and he understands now how tired I was because when he comes in every 28 days then she goes to his house the 7 days he is home. He gets it now.
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Sorry not sorry, you were his gf & wife before a mom. Iām not saying you are not in pain or exhausted. This is a situation where you both are right. And both are wrong.
Iāve been on the other side to this coin. Would you be as āunderstandingā with him if your needs were not being met? Women forget that, we are sexual too.
This has all the makings of a marriage disaster, with resentment, cheating & a whole bunch of other negative involved. There has to be a happy medium for both but itās gotta start with you. Sounds like you 2 need some alone time. Make that happen, find a sitter, he needs to help with that baby & kids more, ect, but whatever you decide I would do it fast. He is giving you warning signs. If you want this marriage to work, you need to be present in it, as his wife too.
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You:
- have an auto immune disease
- taking care of a baby, a fussy one at that
- only getting about 3 hours of sleep at night.
- in constant pain
No, you are not the selfish one.
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It sounds like a physically and emotionally exhausted woman who is trying to take care of everyone and make everyone happy except her. Regardless if you have a disease or not, it does not sound like he is being very helpful in trying to take the stress off of you. In fact it does not sound like he really knows what to do himself. As for you giving in for his needs every night? Come on. He is not being much of a decent human being. I am not sure of your financial situation without him or living arangements. My heart goes out to you. I would focus on you and being able to survive with a child without him. I mean, what happens if you get worse? What happens if you get bed ridden for awhile? You need someone who is going to be there for you not someone who is going to make you feel guilty about something you cannot control.
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Okay, I have only a few things to say. Firstly I would say to your husband you know my health issues and at times you are considerate, at other times I just give in because I feel I canāt say no. Lay out his options, his okay for it to occur every x amount of days and if he wants it more he has a hand tell him to do it himself. With your health issues and a baby, you shouldnāt be expected to do more that what needs to be done and in my opinion he doesnt need to be done. A baby is tiring enough without any health issues, your body also may not be ready.
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First off if heās manipulating you into sex thatās rape second off if he canāt respect the word no thats rape third off if your not giving any type of concent when your in pain thatās rape. You need to make the choice of leaving or continuing this life. You are not in no way selfish you literally canāt do it. My opinion he and I would be 100 percent over
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As a senior I can sympathize. Younger years I had no issues but spouse now is very obese which means one position. I get no stimulation from that and hence no interest. You learn to accept it for the health of the marriage.
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He needs to understand that people change. Their health dictates most of our lives. Iām so sorry.
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My fiance is similar, Iām 32 weeks pregnant and we also have a 3 year old. Iāve been struggling badly with prenatal depression as well as other things and this pregnancy being extremely difficult with HG and constantly feeling sick. He has a very high sex drive, will ātake care of himselfā 6x or so a day and still wants to have sex. Doesnāt matter if I feel like sh**, sleeping etc. He will wake me up. Like last night, I havent slept in days, literal days (because of being uncomfortable pregnant wise and stressed) and I finally fell asleep and he wakes me up for sex! Gets his, then rolls over and goes to sleep. Granted yes, if I tell him Iām not into it and dont feel well he will listen but itās the waking me up that really bothers me and I know if I deny it it will just start a fight and Iād rather just do it and try and go back to sleep instead of starting an argument or him get passive aggressive and then Iām stuck wide awake fixating on him being bothered. I wish I had a sex drive but even more so i just want to feel normal and like myself again. He sees my depression as something he is struggling with and only the effects it has on him. It doesnt seem he cares what itās doing to be and that Iām the one suffering it (yes Iām aware those around me suffer too and I feel guilty for that all the time. Namely for my son whose only 3. I know my depression is causing a strain on everyone but I feel like a little understanding and compassion on his end would go a long way. He keeps saying āI thought pregnancy was supposed to make you want it more.ā Yeah. I thought and was hoping that time would come too but unfortunately it didnt and I have bigger concerns than sex.
Both of you should talk to a therapist, or an unbiased party. If you canāt afford that, maybe look up journals with prompts where both of you can think out a response and discuss it.
He does not have a right to make you feel bad, or manipulate you into having sex. Thatās fucked up and a serious conversation needs to be had. Sex isnāt something a man is owed just because he is married.
The comment section in this is gross. The amount of people acting like he has a right to your body because youāre married is disgusting and Iām so sorry you even have to read it.
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Thinking not to put this on Facebook consider his feelings. Talk in private
He works hard and you donāt? Why did you put yourself so down. My dear you are the one over working here.and if your man is not happy than he is an ungrateful selfish mean person
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He actually cares that you finish ? 
he canāt be that heartless after allā¦
Maybe look into signing up for a sex counselor. Itās hard for people to listen to the words that come from someone who they feel is hurting them. An unbiased 3rd person(counselor) would help you both benefit.
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Iād tell him if he wants more sex than what heās getting now he needs to help you out or itās not gonna happen. Part of an illness like what sounds like you have is finding YOUR balance for your body. I struggle with my health as well so I understand you 100%. I worked full time raising two kids with little to no help from him cuz he worked an hour away from home. You really need to have that talk with him before it destroys your marriage. Cuz it totally will. Trust me.
No. Heās the selfish one. You just had a baby. Your hormones are making you feel different on top of your disease. Itās not fair to put that much pressure on you for things you canāt help.
Tell him to grow up and handle it himself.
Thatās a form of rape FYI. Pressuring you, you doing it to make him shut up. I used to be that way. Now I say no and if you donāt respect that you can get the hell out of my house 
I can only have sex when Iām drinking anyway, I would be happy to never do it again
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Get rid of him. Doesnāt sound like love sounds like just still together becauseā¦. If your not happy then change some things around to where you can be no matter what they are.
He has hands, tell him to use them 
specially when youāre to tired to do anything. He can get himself off. He doesnāt need you to do it all the time for him.
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Give and take. Also no means no. I have similar chronic pain and sometimes I can see its sucks for him but my guy says he will deal with it himself when Iām not up for it. Iāve been sick since 5 months into our relationship and heās never argued with/guilted me about his needs cause I have medical problems.
Is he really OK with guilting you into sex? Itās for better or worse, sickness and health? Sounds likes he needs to look up commitment again.
Sounds like yāall r in a rut. Try to spice it up. On the night you do have sex go all outā¦ dress up in lingerie or something of the sort. Show him you are willing to put in extra effort at least when you canā¦
He doesnāt respect you. He manipulates you.
He is manipulative and toxic and you donāt owe him sex. Your body is not there simply to be his sex partner. This is straight up abuse
Bullying you into giving him sex IS rape
Tell him this is what pocket pussies and his hand are for!!! and that you most certainly are not his sex toy! Whenās hes yelling at you about this, saying his needs arent being met, you should remind him that your needs of being supported are also not being met by him. Having sex when you really dont want to, just because you want to make someone happy, is rape, point blank. Coming from someone who is a sexual abusive survivor, 2 of which were boyfriends that ālovedā me I can attest that this is most certainly rape. Having sex to avoid being yelled at, is sexual abuse and never okay. Your body is your body, and sex should be something you choose willingly, not because you fear being yelled at, not because you fear a fight, not for any reason other than you want to have sex. Anything else is less than acceptable.
Counseling and a whole food and plant based diet to help your health.
He is selfish not you
Can you afford to hire household help ?
Not at all, you are not selfish.
Maybe leave random love notes for hubby. See if you can satisfy his ālack of attentionā by using a different love language?
Honestlyā¦therapy or a trusted someone who both can talk to without bias.
Just never pray for patience from him, that always makes more challenges.
This is abuse. When she is feeling she has to give him sex based on his behavior and feels she has to give into his demands, guilt trips, manipulation, etc. Stop condoning abuse.
That pressure is rape. My ex would do that and finally I just said to him, You know pressing me until I give in is just like taking it? He got that 
look and stopped putting so much pressure on me. I still have PTSD that affects my new marriage, but this one gets it and doesnāt pressure me.