it… I don’t know what else to do at this point… Has anyone else been in this situation and what did you do?
I’ve been dating this guy for about a year now, he’s everything you would ask for in a guy, the kind you take home to meet your parents. They adore him and even got a custom made stocking done for him for Christmas, my two year old (from a previous relationship) gets so excited when he comes over and he’s so good with her. Bottom line he’s amazing and we get along very well! BUT he struggles to keep it up during sexual activities, we go sometimes a whole month without having sex. Almost like he avoids it.. I have a high sex drive and I thrive off physical connection in relationships, I’ve tried to leave hints like being around him just in my underwear or going to bed naked. He has maybe came 3-4 times we’ve been together.. I was honest with him and I told him it makes me anxious. I’m self conscious about myself, I’m worried it’s me. It’s eating me alive! I weigh 130lbs, I lost 80lbs but I don’t have much extra skin from my weight loss besides the area where I had my C-section which I’m the most self conscious about… He tells me it isn’t me, how I’m beautiful and that it still feels good even though he didn’t finish. We talked that he should go see a doctor, he took the information calmly acknowledged it but hasn’t done anything about
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What do you think is going on with my boyfriend?
Maybe his emotional/mental health? If he’s on medication for this it could also be the culprit.
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He is probably feeling very self conscious about going to the doctors and admitting to anyone else that he has a problem in that area. Try talking to him again. Look up some information and how common it actually is. All he has to do is mention it once to his doctor and they will prescribe him meds to help him as needed.
If he has money, there’s even an online doctor that he can zoom and get the prescription if he’s having that much trouble going to a primary care physician.
If he still avoids it after another talk then… idk I guess you have to decide what’s best for you moving forward.
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Maybe he’s just not interested in having sex??
He could be taking meds that are interfering with his drive/usage. Jave him talk with his Dr about it. Or do some research and sit down with him and look over it together
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If he says it’s not you, please believe him. That’s the best thing you can do for your relationship. It could be related to his mental health or physical health. Plus he’s a guy so I’m sure he’s sensitive about it anyways. Just believe him, it may help more than you think.
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I’ve seen this post before 
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This exact post was posted 21 hours ago
https://www.facebook.com/396861080352323/posts/4939714209400298/
Perhaps he has a sexual dysfunction so he should see a urologist ASAP!!!
My hubby was in the same position. He was diagnosed and is being treated for ED. It’s not just old guys who get it anymore
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I’ve had multiple experiences where the guys had a kink but was too shy to talk about it and always just suffered in silence. Try to talking to him about that?
Me and my husband are both on mental health meds and it affects our libido big time. But how we get around that is if one is in the mood, the other is sensual and pleases them but doesn’t have the obligation of trying to get theirs knowing that it just unfortunately at that moment is going to happen.
And as mentioned by other comments, it definitely could be prostate related and he should seek help because it can progress to the point of affecting urination, etc
It’s probably something he should at least bring up to a doctor alot of men struggle with it but not alot seek help cause it’s embarrassing for them be patient and understanding and remember it’s not you . This is probably something that freaks him out too so support him and just take it step by step.
Yeah he is either not into it or has a physical health problem the that fact they he didn’t get embarrassed at all means he is definitely bidding something red flag 
big time !!
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Is he hiding a substance abuse issue that could cause the ED?
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Same issues with my husband. He finally went to the doctor and his testosterone levels were that of a 50 yr old man… he’s 27 so now he takes a weekly shot and it has DEFINITELY changed things
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First… Women can enjoy being touched without getting wet. Men can enjoy being touched without being fully erect. Both sexes can enjoy sexual activity without orgasm. Love your man and enjoy finding all the ways to be physically intimate without penetration.
Second… the issues you are having with your weight comes from tying your worth to his sex drive. That’s not a “him” issue. That’s a you. A good counselor can help you sort through it all and feel more secure in your relationship.
Mental health
Physical health
Emotional health
Sexual health
A kink
There are plenty of reasons as to why this could be happening and all of them are worth discussing
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Why do the moderators keep on posting this??
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This was posted days ago!!
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Okay. Shame on you people for automatically assuming “something’s up”
The penis is complex just like the vagina is. How many times have you had sex and not came? ED is a thing. And it hits at different ages. Men get to a point to where the thing doesn’t stiffen anymore and women get to the point where the well dries up.
He didn’t say anything when you brought it up because it’s EMBARRASSING. That’s his livelihood and you’re commenting on it not working. It’s definitely not an easy conversation to have with anyone.
Good luck girl.
Could be so so many things.
Alcohol, pills, erectile dysfunction, low testosterone, anxiety/depression meds, the list goes on. Ask him to see his dr because in a years time, only coming 3-4 times is not “normal”.
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I saw this yesterday? Same exact question? Unpopular opinion here but your quick to not put them blame on you. Thats great that you lost weight. But health is a spectrum. Of all sorts. You mentioned you do have sagging skin…is it maybe an internal issue? Like are you laying on your back trying to suck your stomach in? To feel sexy you have to be sexy. Dominate. And own it. You will tell from his vibe if what your trying is working. Just figure out his love language and slayyyyy
Look all his medicines up on google and see if this can be a side effect from any of them, then start from there and try to tell him how common can be and lots of medicines can effect him because everyone is different more info u have more power you will have to be on his side good luck
Could he be asexual?
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It all starts with a conversation but the first should probably be the one you have with yourself. If he has told you he’s happy, trust him. If you’re not happy you have a right to talk about that with him but do it from a position of trust, not of suspicion. Several have commented about a possible kink/ED issue which, if true, can be very difficult to share with your partner. Entering that convo with suspicion about something like drug use may shut down a potential healthy conversation.
Trust your partner and move from there.
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He may take antidepressants, and knows why he can’t perform but the alternative is not take the medication. Take it easy on him. It’s probably eatting him up too.
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Probably Ed. My husband has that issue. They won’t go to doctor unless they are ready to. It’s embarrassing to them…my husband has yet to go. But just know it’s not your fault! And that he still loves you. Just don’t bring it up to him all the time or make a big deal over it if yall tried to have sex and it doesn’t work. It makes it worse for them. They already feel awful over it.
Does he take certain medications? Or is he really stressed? This has a lot to do on a mans performance. Also if you’ve expressed being anxious and he is a great person he likely only wants to make you happy so when those moments arise he is constantly thinking about not messing up this time which could lead to more issues.
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My husband has had the issue of low libido but they do say once a male reaches a certain age their libido drops where as a female libido gets higher . I have a very high sex drive and my husband sometimes feels like he isn’t satisfying me enough because I always want it , I have been that moody before now because my husband cant always keep up it has caused arguments but we have turned to giving each other massages etc so we are still intimate that way if he is not in the mood . Now there could be a medical reason why or he could just genuinely have a low sex drive some males do . Do not think it is you as it most likely is not . I would say definitely experiment and make things more fun as that’s definitely helped me and my husband and I hope there is not anything medically wrong but if anything is wrong medically he can get help. May I also add that sex is not the main thing in a relationship remember that xx
Maybe he’s addicted to opiates of some sort. 
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Is he on an anti depressant? Also don’t pressure him. We don’t like it when men do that to us. Maybe he had past trauma or something.
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Is he on antidepressants? That can hinder sex drive. So can stress, anxiety, alcohol and other substance abuse.
I say don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. The sex will end once you’re married:stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:
the kindness will continue
Erectile disfunction is something a lot of men don’t want to bring up, its embarrassing to them. Be patient and maybe have him ask his dr?
Believe him when he says it’s not you! This could be a side effect from so many things… does he take medication? Does he drink? Take pills? Do any type of drugs? If not then it’s probably low testosterone…& he probably does avoid sex but it has nothing to do with you… it’s most likely b/c the thought makes him anxious b/c of his issue… which won’t help with his performance… which in turn embarrasses him or makes him feel less “manly”… he really does need to go see a dr but I know for a lot of men it’s embarrassing or hard for them to talk/admit to anyone, even a dr, that they have this issue
Could be low testosterone my husband jyst found he has it
Try a sex menu to spick it Up could be just bordem. Me and my partner we started getting bored we have been together for 3 and abit years… we do a sex menu once a week. Talk about it get into what turns on your motors
It could be a number of things, he could be depressed , if he’s on a new medication, testosterone levels…he could be embarrassed about it and maybe that’s why he hasn’t gone to the doctor yet
Medication he is in, drug abuse, low T… many reasons. He knows the answer.
Erectile disfunction
He is diabetic and don’t know it it will kill his dick
The only time my partner ever had trouble finishing
Was when he was using drugs….Js it happens to a lot of men that use certain substances
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Oh yeah it also happened to my partner when they changed his meds for depression
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Go to the hims website order him dome pills.
I know a couple that went through this and the reason it was happen was the guy was a diabetic…He took insulin…but if he thought he was going to enjoy being with his wife he would take a pill to help him…Also he could be depressed, if he drinks heavy are does any kind of drugs can cause that issue, it could be a medical issue causing him to have the problem…He could be very stressed. He needs to go see a doctor and talk to them
That’s a him problem mama if he doesn’t care enough to get it fixed that’s not on you