What does your custody agreement look like?

Going through a separation, I currently stay home with my 8 week old and 3 year old. I plan to work in the afternoon and weekends so my children do not need daycare. What does everyone’s custody agreement look like. I’m terrified to not have my babies every day.


My ex had them every other weekend and 4 weeks during the summer. It was the state standard for where we were.

My daughter was 2 weeks with me and 2 weeks with Dad until she started school

When my boys were really young I had them for 12 hours a day and dad had them the other 12.

We don’t have one. We do what works best for us & the kids talk to their dad everyday. The kids are happy they get both of their parents without the custody stuff involved. But we also are able to be in the same room with each other & are just fine. We think about the kids, not us & our feelings.


It’s whatever works for you both.

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It just depends on your situation. In my case, I have full custody of my kids and he only gets 4 hours a week supervised visitation with the kids due to him being mentally unstable. Those four hours are my me time away from the kids, so I can do whatever I want.

Ex gets my 15 year old every second weekend :woman_shrugging:t2: it’s been like that since he was 3

We do 50/50. A 2-2-3 schedule. 2 days with me, 2 with dad and every other weekend so hes not away from one parent for too long. We’ve done it from age 2 to 6. Make sure in parenting plan the times for drop off are specific, go over holiday time good and do a right of refusal. That has helped with us.

We have a 50/50 custody arrangement. One week at my house, one week at his. And one night a week, the parent who doesn’t have custody gets to have the kids over for dinner and they stay until bedtime (my night is always Wednesday - his fluctuates bc of his job).


Well my ex only wanted our LO 4 1/2 hours twice a week… So he’s with his dad 9 hours a week… At daycare while I work… And with me 100% of the rest of the time

You’re not going to have your kids every single day if you’re separated or divorced if the father is involved that’s just how it is

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I don’t know what it’s like these days , but years ago if the child was under two years of age - they didn’t have to spend the night away from the mom .
My advice - and I learned this too late , but : love your kids more than you hate your ex . This will help all parties in the end ! Lots of luck


My attorney always said 1 day for every year old they can be separated from mom. So that’s what we did. 2-2-3 rotating.

We do our best to do what is best for our kiddo. We try and be adults. Our agreement differs then how we play out usually. He’s out of state so he gets her usually during holiday and breaks. We don’t trade off we just work out what works out for our kid. You have littles so it likely looks different on paper. If anything I encourage to try and work things out like adults, don’t get petty

Everyone’s will look different but the most honest and helpful advice I can give you is that the way you handle yourself and your emotions during this time your children will feel and feed off of. I had a terrible divorce and lots of fighting and trauma. My children suffered the most. After many many yrs of nastiness between us we just kinda gave up. Now we’re damn near best friends. Just don’t fight. Don’t argue just walk away n revisit it another time. You will spend so much energy during this process and most should go to loving yourself and those babies as much as u can.

Mine personally is supposed to be I have sole custody and he gets visitation but he never did that an he is now in jail. I’ve always been the only one taking care of him so :woman_shrugging:t3: it’s really no different.


You do what’s best for your situation. If you’re working nights & weekends & he’s working s regular 9-5 it only makes sense that he has them nights & you have them during the day. There’s many types of parenting plans. It’s best to work it out together & present it to the judge. They prefer that. If it’s up to the judge you’re going to get a generic 1 primary & every other weekend or spilt weeks. It also depends on how much time he wants with his kids. What you want really doesn’t really matter in court unless you can show that it’s in your children’s best interest.

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i have full custody of 2 of my kids and their father is not involved. my youngest lost her father and my 4 th child’s arrangement looks like this - 50:50 custody one week with me one week with his dad (which he absolutely hates and can not wait til he’s 12 and can go in front if the judge) . it wasn’t always like this for us. we battled in court through a nasty custody dispute for YEARS!

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What ever work for you both , but remembers that your ex have the same rights as you , they are his babies as much as they are yours .
My suggestion is to sit down with your ex and Ian amicable agreement that works for both .
And hey , you can use your free time yourself, go to the gym , clean your house , go out with your friends, get your nails done etc .
It’s very nice to have so time and is very important


I took sole custody of my kid!
It ain’t for everyone, but that’s what works for me.
He was also, 9/10 at the age of separation. Don’t think that mattered but……MIne Mine Mine!!

I have a no contact order with my ex. So I have my kids 24/7 365.
Most people have 50/50. Some people have it that kids stay with primary caregiver monday-friday and are at other parents Friday night and come home Sunday night every weekend. Others have it that primary has them most days and the other has them once a week for a few hours and then every other weekend