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"Does he help clean or shop or cook or bath the kids or get them ready for school etc. Do any of you have a set structure or agreement or routine that just kind of happens ? Asking as I am a stay at home mum and my hubby is a shift worker. But apart from that does absolutely nothing else at all. Nothing no dinners or cleaning or anything with the kids nothing at all and he says its ally job etc. I asked him to do dinner tonight so I could have a break as I’ve been non stop cleaning the house all day and getting through the washing (all the bedding ) we have 6 kids we aren’t even 40 yet. He huffed and puffed and left angry to get take out but def made it known he was not impressed that he had to do one of my jobs does anyone else see where abouts I am coming from etc. And goes and feels the same or similar to me please? Just want to write this and get and read some comments to to calm down abit and try and not react soo angrily on his return. Somethings got to give. Surely this isn’t as good as it gets!"
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"What world is he living in that he still thinks everything is “woman’s work”?? You need to let him know to pitch in or get out! A marriage is about sharing responsibilities and helping each other! He is just being a lazy slob and is taking advantage of you. That wouldn’t fly in my house! Standup and tell him either grab the broom or the door on his way out!!"
"My husband helps with everything"
"Mine made more mess than the kids. Now that he’s gone, I can breathe don’t put up with it"
"We are a team! When I ask for help, I get help 100%. I even get help when I don’t ask for it, but my fiance can tell that I’m overwhelmed. I will admit that I am a SAHM, and that I try to make my fiance’s life easy for him by cooking meals, making his lunch, and doing his laundry. He definitely helps, if I ask. He cooks on his days off. He stops by the grocery store when needed. No one should feel like they have all of the responsibility! That’s just too much for one person! My fiance would never be mad at me if I asked for him to help!"
"A LOT of guys are like this. Try to explain to him that your job literally never stops. It’s from sun up to sun down, and it can go all night too. It’s very demanding. He can at least help with kids and cleaning because he created the kids and lives in the house. It’s bare minimum."
"He is a stay at home dad and does everything. I have to be mindful of taking the stress off of him and doing my fair share."
"I have the exact same issue… only diff is I work all day long and still have to go home an do everything… absolutely lazy men!! It’s so draining an u eventually bcome resentful towards them…"
"Ewww throw that man child back to his mama xx"
"Oh, that’s gonna end up a divorce. Women who have to parent their husbands lose attraction because eventually we equate hubby to a child. And while society seems to sexualize female children, it is not reciprocal, which men don’t seem to understand. Men want child brides, but women do not want child husbands."
"He is showing you what the rest of your life with him will be like. If you don’t like it, then only you can change it. Find a job, start working so he either has to step up and help or has to get a sitter. Then if he continues being like this, save up your money and you and the kids leave. Then you no longer help him with anything."
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