What else can I do?

Low T? Or and hear me out… not the gender he prefers? Had that happen. Which was totally fine, we made much better friend’s and we’re both happier.

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Well I had this problem. He never wanted to have sex but would wake up in the middle of the night and wake me up to have sex at like 2 am. I thought it was another woman. Went through his phone and found out he would watch gay porn then wake me up to finish. So there’s that :woozy_face:

Likely why he’s such a nice guy… funny. Not funny.

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Unless some weird stuff is going on like he’s cheating or he’s a closet gay man - if I was him I’d be worried! Has he actually discussed this honestly with another man? Yeah he needs to see a doctor. But you’re not married. You have to keep your boundaries in a way.

So my husband was/is the same way its only happened a few times in our relationship and honestly he was very worried to tell me what all was wrong at first. But he finally came around and told me, he used to be a MMA fighter and used lots of steriods and that had a pretty significant effect on him he was also a police officer prior to us getting together and he was shot right in his groin area which of course did the most damage so he never can keep it up fully, but we figured it out in our first year of being together and we made adjustments however at first I felt just like you that it was me that was the problem and that he wasn’t attracted to me but like I said once he finally felt comfortable to open up we figured it out he makes up for it in different ways and we have now been together for 8 years and still going strong.
I know i see alot of these ppl commenting saying it’s you he isn’t attracted to or watch your daughter and I wouldn’t listen to that tbh I had 4 kids going into this relationship and she was 8 when we got together and he has helped me raise these kids as his own all this time, so if he is a wonderful man don’t give up on it, get him to talk and just keep seeing what works for you guys.

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Could be drinking, drugs, general medication side effects, could just be shy, gay (nothing wrong with that if he is), cheating, or he has ED or he’s just not an active guy. Rare but it happens. If I’ve been together for a year u should be comfortable enough together to explain what turns each other on. Maybe ur doing something he doesn’t particularly like or he needs something extra to get going. If he has ED he needs to get on medication. If he doesn’t then go back to drawing board and start crossing things off. It’s nothing ur doing it’s something going on with him. Best of luck :heart:

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Educate yourself instead of thinking this guy is cheating or a predator. We are so used to seeing it that we automatically have to jump to those conclusions. Sis there are other reasons medically that he may have.

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He could be watching porn and porn give unrealistic expectations which can effect a mans sex drive and their sexual experiance in real life with a women. Or he needs to go to the doctor’s office and get his levels checked because he might have too high or too low of certain levels in his body which could make him just not have a high sex drive or unable to finish I would talk with him about it and let him know it’s not embarrassing that you just really want to help and want to know why he has a hard time finishing is there a medical reason is it because he needs to watch porn to get off at the same time I mean what is the reasoning

My husband has had the issue of low libido but they do say once a male reaches a certain age their libido drops where as a female libido gets higher . I have a very high sex drive and my husband sometimes feels like he isn’t satisfying me enough because I always want it , I have been that moody before now because my husband cant always keep up it has caused arguments but we have turned to giving each other massages etc so we are still intimate that way if he is not in the mood . Now there could be a medical reason why or he could just genuinely have a low sex drive some males do . Do not think it is you as it most likely is not . I would say definitely experiment and make things more fun as that’s definitely helped me and my husband and I hope there is not anything medically wrong but if anything is wrong medically he can get help. May I also add that sex is not the main thing in a relationship remember that xx

Sometimes people just don’t have a strong sex drive, that’s ok, he might have low testosterone, and he could get that fixed easily. but understand he may be happy how he is, and you’ll have to accept it if it is that way.

Me and mine got that issue needs go the Dr. I always thought it was me these past 6 months but he takes methadone and that messes with testosterone

There aye many medical conditions that cause that from clogged arteries, stress, hormonal issues, depression, and so many more. Encourage him to go to the doctor and be checked out. If he days you are beautiful to him trust his words over how you feel about yourself we are always way too critical about or own looks.

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Well is he on any meds? That can make it hard to cum and lotta factors it could be besides you it happens and is likely extremely embarrassing yall are also really gross throwing out he is a pedo ive definitely been with guys before I had kids that had trouble staying hard so many other reasons and it also does not mean he is cheating its ridiculous some of yall think a guy has no other use then his penis if a dude said this boutta female it would be a way different reaction

Incredibly strange, as a single mom of a young daughter and having a degree in abnormal psychology I’d be very mindful of their interactions together. Demand he see a doctor… go to a counselor. This is not normal

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I this day and age there is so much “estrogen” and estrogen mimics that knock down testosterone in men. He needs to find a good “alternative” type Dr. To check his hormone levels…give him rx for Testosterone. Both men and women need testosterone for health and sex drive.

Sounds like he should see a doctor , does he do drugs ?

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Sex can be very emotional for a guy. If he is under stress don’t push it
UTMOST do NOT say anything when he fails; he already is feeling bad about it.
A check-up with a doctor sure wouldn’t hurt tho. There is far more to a good relationship than sex … trust me.

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It definitely sounds like a medical issue, men are very closed mouthed about sexual issues especially in a new relationship. There are many products to help such issues, even a year in it still could be nervousness or being self conscious about something on his end. Could be a number of things. It’s a team issue that does need to addressed carefully.

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It’s not you so stop saying is it me to him…that’s a turn off. Stop trying so hard because it’s not you. He has erectile dysfunction and needs assistance. He may also have low testosterone. But he has to want help. So…this may be a deal breaker for you because this won’t change.

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He needs to get checked out. It might be ED, it might be a heart condition. It’s very important that he talks to a doctor.

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My hubby has issues as well. But there is more then sex in a relationship. He needs to talk to his doc. Nothing to be in barest about.

It could be he has a low sex drive, to me he sounds perfect. I dated a guy that couldnt gdt it up and had to take the blue pill . He was all about pleasing an makin me happy . Hes gonna be self conscious worse then u are about ur body. This is a guys man hood it dont get no worse for a guy. Get u a toy and try to just stress him or make it a big deal. Guys dont want to go to a dr an often they wont cause they dont want to think that their broken. Im the female version. I had a hysterectomy at 23 and after 19 surgeries, i have zero sexual want , no urge to be affectionate at all. It ruined my marriage, any relationship even on hormones. So i feel his pain.

Anxiety and depression cause ED. He may have mental problems like attachment issues.

Unfortunately men will let you think it’s you and then resentment builds up . Then when they finally open up and take care of it the hurt and pain is already there. Then you just give up and done care anymore. Even when they take care of it they still won’t try because your just old news and they are comfortable thinking you’ll never leave so why bother. The sooner you fave the fact that your feelings will never matter the better off you’ll be. Move on with your life. You deserve better.

I mean… If it bothered him he would see a doctor… the fact that it doesn’t, might be something you need to consider. He may not be someone who needs sex. Some people are just not sexually driven. Your insecurities are not his responsibility.

Try to look at him like a car that aint runnin right, it’s easy to say these problems are mechanical but with these modern cars statistically its almost always electrical, or if you prefer check the breaker box not the plumbing

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He needs to talk with a professional. This could be as simple as a medical explanation like Low T or erectile dysfunction, or more complicated like something mentally blocking him. Sometimes a past trauma such as SA or some long held shame or guilt can contribute to these things. Just do what you can and be there for him, encourage him getting help.

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He needs to see a a doctor he may need pills to straighten it out

Same experience… guy was on drugs

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Gay? Sorry but Ive heard this kind of thing before with people I know… I could be completely off

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Could be several things I’m a physcial person myself my partner is not we have sat down tons of different times and talked over our sex life

Maybe there is something in the relationship bothering him that your not seeing. Not all men can talk aloud about feelings and will choose to be quiet about it an go on but it definitely will cause them to not be able to get down in the bedroom because some men really do not look at it as just sex an there is many feelings involved for them.

Heart condition. My husband had heart attack after sex one night. Months prior he was having time staying hard and very low sex drive. And he rarely got off. Have him get checked asap cause hardly any sex after heart attack cause of chest pains.

He could have low testosterone.

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Medication’s are a common cause for this. Or years of being on meds.

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Diabetes and the meds for it will cause it. My husband has low testosterone and has to take injections every 2 weeks for it. Have him get tested. I know it is embarrassing for him talk to him about how it makes you feel without hurting his feelings. Men are very sensitive especially about this

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It sounds medical. He should see his Dr.
If you feel bad, imagine how he feels.

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Start making testosterone building foods! You can Google some of these and start incorporating them. Fish, onions, leafy greens are a few.

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Yeah 100% this has nothing to do with you and is actually super super selfish of you to put it on him as if it’s something he can help. I’m sure he is already so self-conscious about this and that it hurts his ego more than you could imagine. Which thus starts this cycle of erectile dysfunction.
The guilt and shame he feels, is a lot.
It sounds like one of your core values does not align well with what he’s able to provide you with. You may need to consider this further.

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Y’all are so cruel. This poor man has a problem that isn’t his fault and you’re all sitting here saying he’s a predator and gay. This group sometimes makes me so sad to be in it.

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It’s not you, he needs to see a doctor( but most men are embarrassed to see a doctor) if he won’t see a doctor or he has this issue permanently and you cannt live with it, then you need to let him go

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Sometimes it is because of prostate cancer surgery such as in my case 21 years ago. Try living with that all these years at 45 years old and only being married at that time for 1.5 years.

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Drugs… Steroids… He could have a medical issue.

You women that has a good man that loves you from the heart should be grateful

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I dated a guy & the same thing happened. a few years after we stopped dating I found out he had MS & that was the cause of the problem in the bedroom. If he isn’t ready to go to the doctor then don’t pressure him into it. He may already know something is wrong but afraid to find out what it is. Some men have a BIG problem with going to the doctors, I’m not really sure why but…
Good luck with everything & I hope everything goes the way you want it too.

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You put this on Facebook? Good grief :woman_facepalming:t2::woman_facepalming:t2:

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If he won’t make Dr. appointment maybe offer or make the appointment for him. Encourage him to keep it

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Xanax. He either takes it regular or over takes it.

It could be a form of anxiety. Women can have sex no matter what even when they’re not in the mood or just going through something mentally. It’s just a lot more obvious with men… he could be overthinking himself during sex.

Do you know how lucky you are to have a good man? Let him go in his time. If I had a good faithful man I would happily give up sex

Does he drink? Alcohol can cause a low sex drive

There are medications like anti depressants or allergy/antihistamines that have “sexual side effects”

It could be his own demons. Medical, mental, or sexual orientation. Find out before saying I DO!

Sorry but I ain’t cutting him no slack, Either he on drugs, cheating on you, or gay periodt!!! Take it from someone who done seen it all boo boo​:white_check_mark::white_check_mark::white_check_mark:

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I wouldn’t want my child getting close to him.

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If u love this guy suck it up sex is not everything

He may have Erictial Dysfunction and it not be you at all…. It’s very common in men when they hit a certain age. He avoids sex because he’s just as irritated as you. It’s very hard on men. I doubt it’s drugs, cheating etc. I’m a wife of a man with this issue and it’s okay he did go to the doctor and medicine helped a ton! It’s a hard discussion on a man but maybe consider a virtual doctor online so it’s easier to explain. Don’t let this ruin your relationship, help him an guide him he will love you more for it.

Be patient with him. That is a scary subject for a man and his confidence is rocked by it too I am sure. There are other ways to be physically intimate. If that is what you crave it doesn’t have to be sex.

Just because he doesn’t ejaculate, doesn’t mean he doesn’t have an orgasm.

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It’s not you. It’s him.