That is acceptable. If it goes to court, the judge will say it’s reasonable. Sorry chick.
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My sons dad lives in the same city as we do. We are to share xmas Easter and thanks giving. With your little ones dad being out of town every second holiday seems fair. And yes like others said I’d say half of the summer.
So the typical court order visitation will say he gets her for a month during the summer not the entire summer…he needs to chill the hell out with that! And yes on the every other holiday its normally like odd years he gets her for Thanksgiving and you have her Christmas and then the next year you will swap. Then on spring break he does typically get her on those breaks as well. Her Birthday is always your day to have her so if her birthday is in a summer month you better make sure he doesn’t try and pull a quick one on you. Easter is not stated in the paperwork so that you can just say no if you so choose. If you are just really wanting to make things difficult for him and not want him to take her as much then tell him it’s his responsibility to come and get her if he wants her during his visitation.
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In most cases it is every other year in the holidays unless school doesn’t allow for the travel time but never the whole summer, it’s more like he gets half and you get had but he had to make sure the child is home at least a week before the first day of school and y’all split the travel costs. This is what most courts set up for visitation schedules even if they are not school she yet. My granddaughter is 3 and loves on the other side of the country from us now and since she is to young for the paid escort through the airline someone does a round trip to go get her and that the other side does the same to get her back home and it works and once she is a little older both sides will just pay for the escort so no more round trip tickets. You may not be happy that he moved but he doesn’t have to get permission from you and he shouldn’t have to give up his child for it either. It may be a headache at first but you’ll get used to it and so with the child and no 3 is NOT to young for all the travel to see the other parent.
Most custody agreements don’t alternate new years. When my parents divorced I was 8 and their custody agreement was every other weekend during school and every weekend of summer plus a week. Every other easter, Christmas and Thanksgiving. My dad was on the hook for all travel. I suggest going to court since dad is the one who chose to move all travel should be on him. Obviously 8 hours is too long for weekend visits but they will likely give him ever other holiday and every at least 4 weeks of summer.
I think every other holiday is acceptable, but not the entire summer. Maybe 2 weeks a month in the summer or 1 month of summer given that shes in school. You deserve some summer vacation time as well. My bonus kids are 3 hours away and we decide on holidays as they approach and have them every other weekend.
Although my ex assent hrs away the judge did grant him every other weekend and each holiday he got the even yr and I got the odd.(every other yr) so it worked out fine. My daughter only 3 when we started this and adapted ok to it. Rather we like it or not the other parent has just as much rights to see the child. He may change his mind later on with the cost of getting the child back and forth for visits, who knows. Good luck
Ha! My ex decided to move with his gf 8 hours away instead of closer to his son, (this is court ordered) he comes back this way once every 6 to 8 week for a weekend, he has him HALF the March break, he has him 2 NON CONSECUTIVE weeks in the summer, he has him for thanks giving, and whatever schedule we decide on for Christmas (7 days non consecutive)
I have him mother’s day, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, his birthday etc! It was his choice to move further and the judge saw it that way!
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Every other holiday is completely fair. As for the summer, half at your house, half at his. Just because he moved away for whatever reason doesn’t mean you get the keep his child from him. Make it as even as you guys can.
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Ummmm. My dad used to drive 3 hours every other weekend to get us even holidays. Let the dad have his time. Its memories.
As for ever other holidays, and part of the summer yes it is more then acceptable. As for spring break. I think it should be ever other as well. If he’s 8 hours away then he’s not going to have a lot of time with her in the run of a year. So he’s trying to make sure he gets what he thinks is fare. And from what you said it should fare to me. He’s trying witch is more then I can say for some parents.
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Sounds fair and that is what the courts would order here.
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Talk with a child psychologist and see what they recommend. Long periods of separation was not recommended by the court. Alternating weeks or 3/4 day schedule was recommended for young children. Where he moved away its sounding like 1 weekend a month.
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I mean, he’s her dad…he has a right to see her too, even if he lives 8 hours away. You don’t think that he wants to do things with her too? It’s not like he’s asking for her every holiday every year. He’d probably like to see his daughter as much as possible.
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I agree with it. But share the summer. As long as it doesnt disrupt her daily life schedule (which it doesnt because its holidays etc) i dont see what the issue is here.
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I think its fair… we get my husbands kids summers and school holidays… sounds better than some dads. Plus the courts will order something similar as well as making you drive half way.
This sounds more then fair to me tbh.
Consult with a child psychologist and ask for their recommendation as well for input.
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When we first split my kids were 2, 5 and 12. We alternated Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas and he could have them 3 weeks in the summer. I would make him responsible for pick up and drop off …it isnt your fault he moved so far away. This will either get old for him driving 8 hours here then 8 hours back or will show he is really interested in spending time with his daughter.
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I agree with the times he’s scheduled to have her. But i don’t agree with the distance of travel for her age.
My daughter’s father moved to CO with his wife and her kids when she was 6, we’re in MD. We had to go back to court because we don’t agree on anything and he wanted a ridiculous amount of time. Court order says she goes three weeks in the summer, we’re supposed to alternate Christmas and New Year’s every year and he’s suppose to come out once a quarter for a weekend visit. He’s responsible for cost of all travel and being here to pick her up/drop her off for every visit. With that being said, he hasn’t been out to see her for a weekend visit since the first year (she’s 10 now), and she’s never been out for Christmas or New Years.
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Well suck it up. Parents alternate holidays every year and get half a summer unless agreed upon otherwise
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Do you guys have 50/50 custody??? I would let him have half the summer, but not all…and every other Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving etc is fair. We do every other as well. The other parent also has to meet half way every single time too. Dad has the kid for Father’s Day weekend and mom has the kid for mothers day weekend.
Its important for the child to be apart of dads life and their new sibling. Take ur feelings out of it. We have done that since kid was 2…kid will be fine.
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With her starting school I would do every other thanksgiving 3 weeks in the summer not the whole summer or split it evenly. Every other Christmas but the other parent gets Christmas Eve.
Sounds fair except the whole summer. I would say half. If he’s willing to drive 8-9 hours to get her, then let him have her. I get what you mean, because I would be a mess without my son. It sounds like you have separation anxiety, but I 1,000,000% understand because I work from home and I’m around my son all the time. I love being around my son. It’s definitely hard to have your kid hours away, but she’s with her dad so it’ll be okay.
I would say every other holiday. And I would tell them they have to provide full transport. Even 4 hours is too much. Normally the standard visits is every other weekend and every other holiday and 4 weeks in the summer
I think it would be more fair to alternate school vacations and holidays yearly. You should get equal amount of breaks with your child. All i see reading this is he wants her for the fun times and wants you to deal with all of the school stuff. And the whole summer? No way. That’s too long to not see you. The way this reads is she’s used to being with you full time so her going away for over 2 months is just not okay.
Well make him come get her and drop her off.
I don’t see the problem. U get her all school year and he gets her summers. If u want her during summer then let him have her during school. Going back and forth during school year is tough. I think hes being reasonable enough to keep her schooling and friends together.
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You are only half of your child’s parents. He deserves time too.
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It’s fair If ur worried about short holidays when shes in school then do the summer, part of Christmas break it’s like a week and half… and spring break?
I mean the way I see it. He moved away. You make the arrangment and he either follows it or don’t. You don’t just up and leave your kid. Sorry.
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Hmm. That’s a tough one.
Her age is only sort of a factor.
Honestly getting use to it at a YOUNGER age tends to be more beneficial when they’re older.
The schedule he’s suggesting is mostly fair but maybe a month or 1.5 months in the summer instead of the whole summer.
And breaking the holidays up.
So if you get her this thanksgiving he gets her this christmas then next year would be the opposite.
Get a good lawyer make sure that your child’s needs are being met in every way after every visit see how she is handling this make sure it’s all reported in written down by specialist if there are any problems with her when she gets home this could really impact her life and her well-being
My sister and her ex live 6 hours apart. Been divorced since youngest was an infant. What you described was pretty much their court ordered schedule. Only not the whole summer. For summer they went back n forth every two weeks. They get opposite holidays. He has them one year, her the next, but not every holiday in one year. She gets em mother’s day weekend even if it’s his weekend and he gets em father’s day weekend. They split Christmas vacation (it’s usually two weeks outta school) one year he has then on Christmas day. Her the next). They get a week out for Thanksgiving depending on who’s year it is who has them first half of week n who has on actual holiday) Easter usually falls during spring break and is split the same way. They only had visitation once a month tho. Usually the third weekend of the month. The oldest graduated two years ago n the youngest just turned 16 (years old). It’s what they’re used to.
Uhmmm HE DECIDED TO MOVE, so that’s his fault! No way!
everything except the full summer sounds reasonable… i would split the summer in half tho… but thats shared parenting you alternate the holidays and each get half the summer… and since hes the one who moved courts would make him cover the cost of travel…
I dont really have any advice as I wouldnt let my baby go, but my situation is very different. If she knows her dad and has a good relationship with him then your lucky and dont want to mess that up. the 8 hours may not be that bad for her and keep in mind that the new baby will most likely be making the same trip as well as the dad and step mom so it’s not just you and her. Maybe you drop off and they bring home ?? Goodluck I hope it all works out for the best for everyone.
First it’s 8 hours then it’s 9 hours so I’m gonna assume it’s only like 4 hours and you’re being petty.
I don’t know what is a good custody thing, but I do have to say that your daughter is very fortunate that her father wants her in his life. So many dads don’t want to be bothered. I think children need a father figure. But that’s just me.
I think the summer thing is a bit much u should get her 4 weeks and he 4 weeks that how we do here in ky! The other holidays and such sound fair to me unless it’s a holiday they only get out fo school for one day that isn’t on the weekend I wouldn’t do that! Say Easter fell on a tuesday and that’s the only day they got out of school I wouldn’t let her go but it falls on Sunday so here she would go from the time out of school on Friday till Sunday evening at 6
Most original parenting plans state that they have to live within so many miles from the child; but if that’s not already in place then meet in the middle maybe 1 weekend a month every other holiday with one week before or after Christmas and 4 weeks during the summer. Good luck. There are parenting plan forms online for each state that may help if you can’t afford a lawyer
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The way I see it is the father has to be away from his child for the whole year, I child needs his/her father and if he’s a good dad & wants to be in the picture then let him. I know the whole summer may seem like a lot of time but imagine a whole year. I’m sure he loves the child just as much as you do. It would be a little selfish to keep the child away if the father is actually trying.
That’s too much time away from mom. He should meet you half way. Every other weekend. Or twice a month.
Look into parent time according to your state. Hire an attorney. Establish such time.
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Wow some of these shock me yes she needs to see her daddy and feel lucky she has one that wants her split summers in half rotate in odd years he gets beginning of summer even years he gets end of summer child must be back saturday before school begins…even though it will be difficult share holidays dont make it difficult she wont care if one year for Christmas it’s not on Christmas day but on another day so if she gets 2 weeks off for Christmas then do odd year you get 1st week even years you get 2nd week share her birthdays depending on when it is he can get her for a weekend where your daughter lives for her birthday follow school calendar even if she’s not in school yet so you wont have to change it when she is do every other year odd year you get spring break even years he gets it ,even years you get fall break odd years gmge gets it …JUST BE FAIR…remember she might be little but these are the memories she will gave and the more civilized you both are the better if she will be choose a mutual place to meet for pick up and drop off too…if you go to court you will hate what judge says the schedule will be so mixed up
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Here is the first page of our standard visitation schedule
Be thankful he wants to be in her life. If he is responsible in his duties as a father and you trust him (not a drunk, abuser, or drug user etc) and you trust his wife then it is only fair that you share her. Co-parenting when both are responsible and “sane” adults is wonderful for children.
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He moved away, he is in no place to be demanding every other holiday and the entire summer. She is 3, too young to comprehend what is going on. Please contact a laywer!!!
I would never agree to that plan. She’s still a baby & being away from her mama that long is ridiculous. I get that fathers are important in a child’s life too, but he should have considered that before moving so far away from his kid. Talk to a lawyer & explain your feelings. They will help you draw up an acceptable plan.
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Yeah he should be a part of her life. But he’s the one that moved away and for whatever reason that maybe. HE’S the one that made it difficult on himself to see her now. Expecting so much time with her and making things more difficult on you is really shitty on his end. He should come down to y’all and see her. Or hell at least offer to have you both up there. She shouldn’t be away from you like that.
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Everyother holiday and share summer. He gets her christmas you get her thanksgiving. Don’t switch off for easter kids dont get holidays for it.
. you two have to talk that out whaT is best for yalls schedules and yalls child. If he wants to be in her life dont push him away… yes shes 3. But 8 hours is not that far just for the holidays… It could be worse. Find a median. Make it work.
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He’s the one that moved. Did he go to the judge about it and see what the judge would say about visitation?. It’s probably going to be his responsibility to pick her up and bring her back
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Every other holiday is standard in custody agreements. You could try compromise on summer vacation split 1/2 and half or he gets 2/3 to you 1/3 due to how far away. May consult family lawyer.
If anything meet half way. Vs a whole 16 hr drive for you. Summers id let her go for 3 weeks and then fall vacation. And alternate holidays (Thanksgiving and xmas/new yrs) and then he could have her for spring break too. That way he’s around enough but not excessive either. And the half way point should be public like a restaurant so she can eat before making the res of the journey. And get this in writing no matter how y’all work it out. It needs to be in writing
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8 hrs is really not that long of a drive. You should be thankful that he wants to spend as much time with his child as possible. All summer is too long but half would be resonable. Yup its gonna suck for the parents in cost of fuel but you can trade out every week so the child us not missing the other parent to much. It doesnt really matter why he moved the fact is he did, so suck it up and work with what you have.
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I’m assuming this is in America so I’m not sure how long your summer breaks are. We have 6 weeks here in Oz.
His requests don’t seem too unfair as he has requested alternating the important ones such as Xmas etc. If I were in your situation I would just ask to share all school holidays split through the middle (again not sure how you guys break up your school year , we have 3 lots of two week holidays then the 6 weeks over Xmas. )
your very lucky your daughter has a dad & step mum who want her to be an active part of their life. from one mother who has seen how damaging an absent parent can be trust me when I say if she’s in a safe environment there LET her be just as much a part of her father’s life as she is yours she didn’t ask for 2 families but that’s how it is so make it easy for her
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Well, if it gets taken to court for a custody plan…more than likely that’s exactly what he gets. Maybe not the whole summer but every other holiday.
Who children attends school on Sunday ?.
Its Easter Sunday just saying.
Most state he never get this, he moved not her the responsibility falls directly with him and child support is on overnight visits. Go back to court- I only be willing to accept the min requirements. Thats me -
Whats up with all legal questions- is this divorce support page?
In yhe state of michigan parents share every other holiday and every other weekend and split summers and one week with each parent at xmas and
He chose to move away from her. Let him do the traveling to see her. Went thru this myself. You will find out he probally wont travel with new life and all.
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He should get full custody and only give you visitation when you drive 8-9 hours. …you self centered bi#%h
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I would tell the judge no
He has to go to court to get original custody agreement overturned. Judges don’t give whole summers to one parent. You can get a mediator to assist in coming up with a visitation schedule.
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When he gets her, he needs to meet you half way on your terms.
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Don’t have any more.