What are things you ladies have left your husband for that others would think were silly or small? But you knew was right for you?For me, I left my husband of 10 years and 7 kids due to him being a slob! Like never picks up after himself or kids, leaves dirty diapers laying around everywhere, gets so engrossed in his phone to watch our kids, leaving them to destroy things, steal stuff around the house and once my youngest ran around with a butter knife out of the dishwasher, I would come home from work and clean the mess, bathe the kids, feed them, get them to bed and then have maybe an hour to myself before going to bed, he worked 6 hour shifts at night (4-9 and I worked mornings from 10-6). Outside of the lazy behavior he was an amazing friend and father/husband in any other way but cleaning and I snapped and had enough of it. We’ve been separated for over 3 months and he tells me everyday he loves me no matter what. It’s hard to be apart from him, he just hasn’t shown me he is changing. No bashing please? This post is simply a comparison to other womens stories who did the same.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What is something small you have left a relationship for?
I have left someone for being unclean as well. It affects mental health SO much. It puts a burden on every day life. I couldn’t handle it.
To be honest that’s what I would have done as well. Your more less being a single mom while married. No reason for his laziness.
No reason for his laziness. A relationship is supposed to be a partnership. This sounded very one sided on a very important level.
Certain things when u living with someone does really annoy us to the point of divorce… Mine used to never sit down like always in out in out, never took his shoes off come in smelling of cannabis and never ever just relaxed with the kids in the morning as soon as he was up showered dressed to impress all the time and I didn’t like that. It made me feel like a ugly slob. Like sometimes u wanna stay home with kids clean house and play with them make some nice food he wasn’t that type. And we clashed big time over it. Little things put u off more than anything else
Same. If I’m gonna do it by myself when in a relationship, then why be in one?I don’t need the frustration.
I left my husband bc of his lack of common sense & bc of how boring he is. Life is too short to be anything but happy. He’s still a part of my life bc we have kids together but I want nothing more than a friendship.
Why don’t you hire a house keeper? Don’t let your marriage go down the drain. It’s apparent that you believe in the maxim: be fruitful and multiply which you have taken seriously.
I left a boyfriend cause he wouldn’t keep a job
I once left a relationship because this guy would talk to his mother, almost every day, for HOURS! He’d cancel dinner plans, outings, dates, etc. the moment she’d call because he wanted to give her his undivided attention.
He was great in every other way, but I saw that I’d always be 2nd to his mother in regards to EVERYTHING. I loved that he loved his mother, and she raised a great man, but the calls were excessive and the way he’d so casually cancel plans JUST to talk to her.
I told him several times that he could easily just tell her we had plans and that he’d call later, he looked so co fused when I suggested that, like,how coukd he POSSIBLY ignore his mother? Or not talk to her?
I spoke to her a few times, on more than one occasion I mentioned the calls, asking if she could text before hand to just check if we had plans or not, reschedules calls for a later time, or just limit calls to 4-5 days a week instead of daily, she got so upset that I even suggested it …
That whole relationship was WONDERFUL, except the calls … that was such a bizzare hill to die on.
If you have a line, you owe no explanations. It doesn’t matter what ppl may think.
Leave him to keep living without you he will learn messes won’t clean themselves
That’s definitely not something small, that’s an 8th child instead of a partner. Hopefully he realizes and changes. Wishing you guys the best!
I left a 10.5 year relationship involving 3 children , one of the biggest issues being this. I can’t stand messes and it was to much, I would be the only one working full time , come home to clean, cook, bathe and play with the kids while he sat with his face into the computer the whole day, on top of that continuous arguments and bickering from him so i left last September and met someone new, due with a little boy sept 8 and married, new partner is 180 different… he helps without asking, does what I need when I have asked, helps me with the 3 kids that aren’t even his (he had no previous experience with kids either) do you!
I don’t have a lot of experience leaving relationships. Did we talk to him and try to make him understand? If there was no improvement you were justified leaving. Relationships are partnerships sounds like he wasn’t doing his part.
Just tell him to stop being so Gross and he can come home.
If u love the man just hire a cheap cleaner. It’s not worth throwing love out the door because he won’t pick up
OK most of these aren’t small things . Jesus if being a slob is small I can’t imagine the definition of big. I’m never married , but I have left do.eone for the way they chew their food. Now that’s small , but big for me like u sound like a cow I can’t, close ur mouth lol
This is a great question for Stay at Home Moms
When I was younger, I left a man for being “too nice”. In retrospect now that I’m older, that’s what I want. Joke was on me.
So, you’re telling me that your husband is a great husband, father, significant other, he just sucks at cleaning? What happened to the oath you people take when getting married? “For better or for worse”. Unless he’s cheating, unless you’re being abused mentally or physically, I don’t see why you would divorce a seemingly perfectly good father and husband over some dirty sh**. Make it make sense because it doesn’t. That poor man.
Sex twice a month… max.
That’s not small. He sounds extremely selfish, negligent, lazy and a horrible father. That’s exactly a reason to leave him.
I left my ex when my then 5yo daughter called me a cunt. I figured that for a child that young to be using that language she must have heard when her father called me it and I wasn’t protecting her from it by sticking around.
When you have children the relationships they see is what they grow to think is acceptable.
You left your kids cause your husband was a slob? Maybe a little communication would help tell him exactly what it is you want from him.
So, why not hire a maid?
My ex left me because I didn’t like his mother pretending that she knew anything about raising a child with autism like I do. She’s constantly tell me I wasn’t doing it right and that it’s my fault is the way he is ( like picky eater and such)
Wait…you left your kids too? Or am I reading that wrong? Leaving your husband because he’s a slob is one thing, but leaving your kids in that environment is another.
Not small at all, he neglects his kids , he doesn’t give a fuc€>> about you and your feelings, he is selfish and unconsidered, not one should accept that
You listed a lot more than cleaning. Ignoring your children so they have access to a knife (I’m sure that you have more than butter knives in your dishwasher), stealing and allowing them to destroy the home goes way beyond cleaning. He is neglecting your children
Do what you must for yourself.
You both deserve happiness.
He’ll find someone who will love him and live happily with him as he is.
And so will you.
I wish you both well, separately.
I didn’t date a guy after the first date because his Adam’s apple ￼ protruded way out and moved each time he talked…. ￼I couldn’t concentrate on nothing but that (circa1996)
Had a spouse that went to the bar everyday after work for 30min to 3 hours. I didn’t worry he was cheating or flirting he was always with the same group of men. He didn’t always get drunk. He also was not affectionate no hand holding, no tenderness, no sweet words. No effort in sex. But we had a lot of fun, he was present and kind and hard working, we were great friends. I talked to his mother and his father was the same exact way. She asked if I could be happy with a life like that I told her
No right then and we
Split a month later
Caught my husband giving oral sex to a nother man in my.bed
How could you leave your 7 kids?
Every relationship shows you what you need and what you won’t put up with. Pay attention to that.
I left a guy because he wore too much cologne… he was also pretty ugly tbh and the attraction just wasn’t fully there. I’d leave your husband too shit that sounds awful to have to take care of a slob man child. We as women are not maids or slaves. Lazy entitled men suck.
Well we aren’t together because he lived double lives… I did so much for him but most our arguments were centered around him not helping he was similar putting empty juice back in the fridge empty boxes on top he would leave the babies diapers wet clothes all over the floor he just cared for himself but not all the work I had to do to keep things in order he never paid the bills but provided money he barely took out trash his only major chore was to clean the shower but he cared about getting dressed & looking “cute” for the streets more. I still love him I want the best for him but I’m happier at this point without him he was more of a burden than help
No offence but with 7 kids you wouldn’t even be able to tell if you cleaned it would always be a mess. lol plus how on earth does one care giver keep track of 7 kids at one time. No wonder kids get into things lol
Also who’s going to watch the kids now so you can work? And good luck dating again explaining to any man you have 7 kids lol
Kate Royal no offense but we have 6 kids
2 girl twins 8 months old
3 year old
7 year old
8 year old
10 year old
You can have a clean house we do it daily
Without having dirty diapers laying around the house that is just gross and her ex was more then capable of cleaning up after himself and those kids and not being stuck in his phone all day and leaving them to do god know what …me and my boyfriend both work and clean the house no excuse I would have left his azz to
Doesn’t sound like a big of a deal to throw out the marriage. He seems like a good provider and you describe him as a good person and your best friend. Sure he’s not good about keeping the house clean but there are 7 kids in the family; the house will never be as clean or tidy.
Not to mention Don’t let your kids play roblox fuck
You be a woman, a mother, and ask him to leave, you NEVER walk out on your kids. The damage that does is irreparable. You pick up the slack and make sure your husband isn’t drowning in depression while trying to keep up with 7 kids.
This is why divorce rates are high.
I feel for you baby girl. I broke up with a ex for that. You dnt mind doing it. But they constantly do t like you are their maid. That and working 8 hour shifts will leave you past exhausted. I hope u get the results you want
You left the kids too! You’re heartless
That’s not small! That equals a pic of respect for you and your time!!
Completely understand before kids
Or after the first, second, and or third kid… But SEVEN kids later? You had to know how he was before that. So I say no not a good reason. That affects too many lives when you knew how he was. Just my opinion…
I left mine for his drug addiction and he changed after two years
His screaming in your face and cussing, also he rather b into his game rather then spend time with his family.
Did he want all those kids? I’m glad I’m not a man so I was able to control how many kids we had.
I’m assuming and hoping there’s more to the story here. It can’t just be that he neglects to keep a tidy house with 7 kids. 7 kids. My house ends up a train wreck with 3. What if you weren’t working you were home? Would you want him leaving you for being tired and not keeping up with housework while caring for 7 kids. Like you know what…. The dishes weren’t done to my standard you’re not good enough for me I’m out peace. You obviously would’ve noticed this being a problem as you continued to add on kids. Yet you added them on.
My cheating ex husband tried to make me feel like a bad wife and mother because the dishes weren’t always done when he walked into the door after I cared for our children 2 under 3. So lemme tell you. No that’s not a good reason. You just said he’s a good partner and husband and father otherwise. He’s caring for 7 kids and sounds like 1 at least is still in diapers. You need to communicate with him and start small. Give your older kids chores and stop putting it all on his shoulders because you worked 8 hours. Where I’m sitting you don’t deserve him.
Man works 5-6 hours in the night and spends the whole day taking care of your spawn and your pissed it’s not tidy? You have issues. It’s 7 freaken kids and he works too.
Left mine bc of his idea that men go to work and women take care of the kids, housework, cleaning up after him, etc. Since he left I never heard the words ‘that’s woman’s work’ again
I can only imagine how you feel. Men are providers. They protect. Women bare children. You have a husband that still loves you. You have 7 children. I’m guessing you spoke to him what you told us here. You even said that being apart from him is hard. How old are your children? I’ve seen the oldest would look after another. Have you gave them chores or teach them discipline? If your husband looks for a second job while you stay home with the children, would that be convenient for you? I really hope you can find solutions to your problems. One day we all going to get old and perhaps unable to care for ourselves, does that makes us not good enough? I’m not trying to minimize your situation. Your feelings are valid. You want things to change, so what are the solutions? Do you still love him? Can any of your children help with the cleaning? Good luck.
That is definitely something I would not tolerate. Cleanliness is important to me, keeping up on household chores and personal hygiene are a must. Good for you for standing your ground. Hopefully you’ve explained this to him and maybe even worked together to come up with a daily chore list for yourselves and the kids? If he is open to the idea that could be helpful, he may need more structure and guidance in maintaining daily tasks? Good luck.
Regardless of how many kids you have there’s going to be a breaking point in what you tolerate. Especially when you have brought up the concern and it’s been ignored. Being a dirty and lazy isn’t something small. He has two arms and two legs that work just fine. Also older kids can help with the cleaning also.
If you tell your partner something is really bothering you that they can control or help, and they repeated choose not to, it shows they don’t care enough. No matter what it is, and if they truly can’t improve on that then you aren’t compatible.