What is the best way to go about filing for divorce?

When filing for divorce, what is the best way to go about it? Would it be better if I filed or if my husband filed? Does that affect who would get primary custody of the kids? I live in Wisconsin for reference. I don’t know how much longer I can take the mental abuse and him putting us in debt.

15 Likes

You can start the paperwork online and file joint, seperate, or however you would like. I used to live in WI, and looked into it

1 Like

I found a lawyer that didn’t charge a consultation fee & talked to him about my options & how to go about everything. You might want to try that

1 Like

Get a very good attorney and file asap. Document everything, you need real hard proof. Secure yourself financially and have a plan on where your going and who is helping you. Keep all important documents,evidence,and pictures at a relatives house. Don’t tell anyone else about your plan. Get your divorce and custody of your kiddos and never look back. You write your own happily ever after!

1 Like

Go file, don’t wait for him.

4 Likes

I filed and payed for it myself. I can only speak of where I live (Ohio) but I had to print out 2 sets of forms (call the courthouse for the website) you fill one out, he fills one out and you have to sign each other’s. I had to pay nearly $400 and if you have kids together, you might have to do a parenting class. If you DON’T do the class they will deny your divorce and you’ll lose half the money and you’ll have to refile.

1 Like

Who files will not determine custody- that is a WHOLE other issue. If you are both on the same page it’s best to go down together

5 Likes

You get a consultation with a lawyer first before anything. They give you their opinion on where you stand whether you’ll “win/lose” and custody. Then they will give you a quote for a retainer. Once you talk to a lawyer your spouse cannot counsel with the same law firm

2 Likes

It doesn’t matter who files weather it be u, him or joint. That has no barrier on who will get custody. If one files the other has to be served. There is a 120 day waiting period from file date to earliest it can be finalized. Mine took 9 months start to finish bc I filed at the beginning of cov*id and they kept pushing out our court date bc of conflicts on the calendar. We didn’t fight about anything so in reality it should have been done in 3 months

1 Like

You should file asap so that the amount of debt he’s accruing that you are also responsible for ends. Protect your financial future for the kids and yourself. Document whatever abuse is happening. Speak to the lawyers about what they feel are the best steps going forward. Get your and the kids important papers out of the house and into a safe place. Since he’s abusive make go bags and keep them somewhere safe as well so you can just go and don’t have to worry about packing.

10 Likes

Anyone can file. Makes no difference. Custody will be 50/50 or if you want sole custody. Get a lawyer and get started. Good luck…

3 Likes

Does he consent to divorcing? If not and you file, in many states he can delay the process by a year or two (research compelling the non-filing party in WI if an Affidavit of Consent is refused to be executed). If he files, he can be compelled to complete the action (unless he withdraws his Complaint in Divorce entirely). Custody is not impacted by who files.

1 Like

You. you should claim and prove all the debt is his

1 Like

If you file and have concerns then you need to file and be sure to voice those concerns. If he files your concerns look more like bitterness then real concerns.

3 Likes

Google “Wisconsin divorce laws” a lot of information comes up :slight_smile:

2 Likes

Online and it doesnt matter who files first for children custody and cs. Without a lawyer is so much cheaper and most states are going 50/50 now unless theres a reason not to. But if youre accuring debt because of him Id do it ASAP bc it still takes like 90 days waiting period sometimes longer. I know in my state it was 90 days and in that time you can be filling out finacials to figure out how cs will be set up and visitation schedules are very important especially holidays. Youll have to really think about how you want that worded. As in posible future partners meeting children. Right to refusals. If hes not able to care for children and you can you have a right to have them on his time otherwise he has to come up wirh his own childcare. You have a right to know where the children are at all times and vice versa. Things like that youll have to really think about and put in the decree. As well as who is responsible for what debt. Filing will put you ahead though. If you can afford a lawyer go for it. 1st dovprce i had i got help from legal aid but idk if you qualify for their help. I did it on my own the 2nd time but we reconsiled.

1 Like

Obvious answer is get a lawyer

2 Likes

Don’t ask Facebook. Ask an attorney.

1 Like

I wouldn’t leave anything up for someone else to decide… seek a lawyer and file yourself

8 Likes

Set up a 50/50 parenting time for the kids. Go get a job and don’t rely on child support (you won’t get it anyway if you do the right thing and give 50/50 parenting with their father) just because you are done and don’t love him means absolutely nothing to your children. He’s still their father so don’t ruin that relationship for them because you no longer have one.

3 Likes

You file first and don’t let your kids go anywhere with him until court has been settle. He can walk off with the kids and not return them and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. Until custody is made. I’ve went through this I didn’t see my son for a year.

I would file first. And keep the kids. Until custody is established either parent can just keep the kids.

File first if he’s mentally abusive. Because the kids will most likely be used as a pawn

First, you need to go down to your counties friend of court office and ask them for custody paperwork. File your divorce papers and the FOC paperwork at the same time. Although, physical custody is usually granted to the mother, depending on circumstances, that’s not always the case. Legal custody is usually split 50/50. If you feel that you and/or your children are in physical danger, the Underground Railroad is a fantastic network of amazing individuals and families that help with various resources. If anything, they may be able to point you in the right direction.