Can yall share whats in yalls parenting plans? Im trying to work with mine and all I got is that clothes should be shared back and forth and do not need to keep or hide them. Lol.
Mine is pretty much contact will be supervised and restricted to certain times. I have sole parental responsibility so all the nitry gritty decisions are mine.
The clothes one wouldn’t fly with me. I spend a lot of money on my kids clothes for dad to “lose” them. They went to dads in what they came home from dads in. Their good clothes stayed with me.
Holiday time is a big one. Don’t just make it a blanket statement either like Mother’s Day weekend in full with mom. Father’s Day weekend in full with dad. Christmas from x time to x time and switch every year.
Do not allow any wiggle room. None. Spell it out to a T.
To me. Depends on what the parenting time is like. If it’s every other weekend, clothes can be shared. If it’s 50/50 parents provide everything child needs (including clothing) at their own homes.
Just remember this, dont put anything in there that u , urself, can’t/wont abide by. The judge will tell u that whatever rules are made need to be followed by BOTH, parents. Im sure u already knew that but ive seen moms who put stuff like “kids cant meet new spouses until the other parent has met them, or gotta be in a relationship for x amount of time before introducing them to the kids or haircuts must be talked about by both parents, ect” but then they think that they don’t have to go by those same rules. Dad takes them to court and judge says “well, u requested this in the parenting plan so you should be having no problem going by ur own rules” so just be mindful of what ur also willing or not willing to do when making up the plan.
Young one, these are skills usually acquired through family and friends. Many in here will share great advice on how to approach/handle various situations and issues. Read them all. However “parenting plans “ is like asking for the instructions on your child. They don’t exist- the old saying “ when women/men plan - the Creator laughs” - just teach them to be respectful, responsible, accountable, compassionate and have a loving spirit. Don’t do or speak mean spirited towards or about others. No matter where they are in life - they can always come home to someone who will listen, not judge them and help them figure out what needs to be done.
Both household’s need to supply the clothes and food and 50% responsible for sports and medical debt when insurance doesn’t pay it all
Allowed phone calls to the kid on each parenting time with restrictions on times they are allowed to call and stick to it and if one parent doesn’t want their kid to do certain sports and other parent wants it then the participant parent will be responsible for full cost on sport
Allowed other parent to have 2 weeks in the summer time or whatever fits there schedule but would need to be sent to other parent months prior so they are not taking away from either parent
My kids dad & I just make it about the kids. We are friends & leave the courts out of everything. He lives over 3 hours away, but I make sure he gets all breaks, almost all of summer, any chance we get to go back to our hometown he has them. He calls them almost daily & he just helps financially with whatever I ask of him. I talk to his mom daily to so I plan with her also. We don’t split holidays, I pretty much have them every holiday & they just do it on a different day when they are with their dad. We make it super easy. He pretty much has every Christmas & new years tho since I just send them for their breaks.
A few things I have included in mine:
No taking the kids out of state without both parents agreeing
No bad mouthing the other parent around the kids
The children are not to call anyone else “mom” or “dad”
Splitting the costs of childcare and extracurricular activities
No big changes like hair cuts or pierced ears without both parents agreeing
We meet each other’s spouses before they move into the home
A solid black and white visitation schedule
No smoking or drinking around child and that includes family or friends can’t either and the you can’t drink 12 to 24 hrs before kid is picked up or dropped off to parent and also both parents need to be on board with school activities and school meetings and such and scheduled events and don’t make plans for said kid when it’s the other parents time and no discussing personal matters or issues in front of kids and no showing up to other parents house uninvited you need to call or text the parent to let them know you are coming over no belittling each other
Both need to decide on who is going to claim child or children on tax returns you can put in for different years and you both need to decide on holidays and birthdays
nope. i buy good clothes, those staying here.
i have sole legal & physical custody of my oldest two with my babydaddy. he doesn’t get visitation anymore.
i have primary physical & sole legal of the younger 4 by my ex-husband.
meaning i make decisions regarding my education, medical, extracurricular & religion. their dad gets one weekend a month & he’s allowed to visit more often if he chooses to (he lives in another state). he’s allowed to exercise visits from June 1-July 20. we usually do two weeks on/two off during the summer. he also is allowed visits during school breaks (winter, fall & spring). he gets thanksgiving & easter. xmas break is split.
however he has chosen not onesies any visits in 3 years .
there’s also a part about childcare arrangements (his parents aren’t allowed around the kids) & who’s authorized to babysit if he needs one.
child support is ordered.
he’s also ordered to pay for health insurance & split medical costs that insurance may not cover (like copays).
he is also ordered to split cost of extra curricular activities (football, cheerleading, basketball, softball, baseball, dance…)
also any potential partners are not to be introduced to the kids before 6 months of serious dating and i have to meet her first AND have background ran on her.
Holidays, vacations, if they are small childcare, extra curricular activities because depending on your agreement it could fall into both of your time
We don’t share clothes. We do 50/50. Whatever he buys he keeps and vice versa. We split the costs of extracurricular activities
Each parent responsible for their own clothes. No new significant other on the house around child until other parent has met them. No bad mouthing the other parent. Do not promise to pick child up and not show. Three times of doing so will result on no contact… half days for holidays. He’d get Christmas eve and half of Christmas day and you get Christmas evening and next day. And switch it up every year.
Both houses need to provide for the child.
Why can’t he keep clothes and other stuff at his place, for when the kids are with him
It makes more sense
Piercings, hair, tattoos. Friend events the child wants to attend on “off” days.
No hard core drinking around the kids.No drugs of any form around the kids except pot(i don’t really consider this a drug as there’s many medical uses for it)
I don’t have one anymore bc theres a no contact order against him now. But when I did, it was just the basics. Feed them well ( fruit veggies meats, limit fast food ) teach them something, limit gaming. Use the proper seats ( when they were little ) for in the car. No physical discipline. Don’t drink/smoke around the kids.
My ex couldn’t handle ANY of that and did the opposite of everything listed.
Best advice, don’t be petty. Make it easy on your kid. It’s not their fault they have to keep track of their stuff at 2 houses. Bickering over “I bought those socks, they better come back to my house” is only guna hurt your kid.
I saw something the other day to include graduation tickets split evenly … I know it may be a ways away but a lot of schools have a strict limit on how many tickets the graduate can have usually like 4 or 6 so make sure to put in how many each parent will receive…
First right of refusal should be in every parenting plan.
both households should have clothes, when I did this shared clothing thing yrs ago, so many times I was so mad! there were a lot of very nice things not returning with her, later she had said his dad’s gf either took them or wouldn’t allow her to bring them back! she was only 7 at the time! so u started to get a few cheaper things from yard sales dollar store etc I didn’t mind if it did come back, that she go there in. the majority of the time children with me, I did not agree to splitting claiming them every other year on income tax filing, I had more of the living costs of kids than him. the set of school played a part in how parent time worked, they were enrolled near me so he got every other weekends. every other holiday each year, aside from mother’s and fathers day. Halloween isn’t recognized on the court schedule as a holiday, so we included that in for every other as well. we did first to be sitter if needed, meaning other than daycare set up if needed a person to watch they’d be called first(he amazingly was never available )
that was the basic plan. he was abusive and eventually a lot of crap went down to where he has no contact, so if ya sense my discord about all that, theirs very good reasons there lol