Just trying to get all input so I can hopefully do this whole mama thing right
I don’t have a great relationship with my mother. She wasn’t the nicest to me growing up. She still is incredibly narcissistic and manipulative. That being said I’m raising 3 little ones myself. I’m constantly hoping I’m the best mother to them, and better than my own mother. For those of you that have a great relationship with your mother what are her qualities? What has she done throughout life that really stuck with you as an adult? What are your best memories?
56 Likes
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What qualities do you admire about your mother?
1 Like
She was kind, love animals, always told u how it was, so fun & could whoop some ass when need be. Even men! God bless her soul. She passed from lung cancer may 13th 2020
Hun, the fact that you made this post already tells me your the best mother your kids could have! Those babies CHOSE you to be their momma for a reason, and your doing a great job at it!
9 Likes
Understanding, being my biggest fan, loving, caring, listening, and supportive
2 Likes
The fact that you are worried about what type of mother you will be already shows you’re an amazing mother. My mom always supports me whether she agrees with my choices or not. She will voice her concerns but ultimately leave the decision of whatever to myself. She made birthdays special and came to every game she could. She taught me responsibility and to take pride in what you do. She scolded me when I needed it without yelling or spanking. She still is there for me and my own family at the young age of 72 and loves my children and buys them whatever the need and don’t need, this includes my stepdaughter who she has referred to as her first granddaughter. She loves them all with all she has.
10 Likes
My mother was a giving kind person, put everyone ahead of herself
2 Likes
The fact that your wondering if you’re doing it right means you’re already a great mom. One thing about my mother is no matter what I always know her love is absolute and unconditional. She would also try to make time every now and then for my brother and I to each have one on one time with her. Now that I’m grown up she’s my best friend and now that I have kids I see how hard she worked for us and how giving and kind she is.
1 Like
My Mom was loving and understanding 
. I miss her so much 
3 Likes
Loving, patient, supportive, caring, strong, easy to talk to, understanding, she overcame some very extreme circumstances and I really admire her strength, courage, and perseverance. She was never verbally, mentally, or physically abusive.
2 Likes
My mom had our backs, as long as we told her the truth. No surprises. She still does to this day. But - she tells us when we’re wrong too. Which at the time, always sucks. But in life, you’ll always need that person.
She demonstrated how to love and be loved. My parents have been together for almost 40 years, and while I’m aware that all couples fight, she never brought it to our attention or bad mouthed my dad. Which set an amazing example for relationships as an adult.
She taught us the importance of family, by being close with her brothers and in turn, I am so very close with mine.
2 Likes
My mom would do anything for us kids at the drop of a hat. She could be sick, she could be 100 miles away, she could be asleep, but she’s making it happen. She loves fiercely and unconditionally. I was an awful teenager and she never gave up on me. She’s now a grandma to 4 and she loves them more than anything.
Growing up she always told us how proud she was of us. She made sure we followed our dreams and picked us up when we were down. She apologized when she was wrong, which taught us how to do the same.
Love your children. That’s all you have to do. You’ll make mistakes, I’m sure she did, but I don’t remember them. I remember always knowing I was safe, loved, and wanted by my mom.
3 Likes
My mom always had my back. Through some really bad decisions, hard times, good times, she was always there. I never doubted that she loved me unconditionally. I miss her so much.
1 Like
Honestly… I had the same type of relationship with my mother growing up… which is why I am the mother that I am… I’m constantly reassuring my love to my kids… kisses… hugs… cuddles… as much as they will allow, because I don’t ever remember my mom being affectionate towards me.
3 Likes
My mama passed away in 1995…she loved me unconditionally…that is exactly how I have raised my 2 babies…which are NOW 53 & 54… AND have their own beautiful families…I am a GREAT GRANDMA of “8” little ones:sparkling_heart:
2 Likes
Do you have a person? You know- like Greys Anatomy, a person….YOUR person?
Be their person….out of all the things I wanted growing up was to have my person, so I also implement this in my parenting
1 Like
Be honest. Children aren’t stupid. Don’t treat them like they are. Give them options and encourage them to trust themselves. But they also have to learn to keep the choice they make. It can be hard so I never gave/give tons of choices. Just 2 or 3. Let them learn and fall. But always, always, have their back. Even when they’re wrong.
The fact you want to be great, at means you will be. Give yourself some grace. None of has this perfected. Every child is different. One day at a time momma. You got this. 
1 Like
My mom went without to make sure we never did. She always worked hard and was there for us whenever we really needed her. No matter who wasn’t in our lives we knew we were loved!! Made sure we had rules and consequences for our actions. Helped others when she could even if she didn’t have much.
My mom listens when I need to vent and doesn’t bash my decisions good or bad… and if I ever need her she always comes thru… she’s made mistakes and beats herself up for them but I only remember her being supportive and no judgement from her!!
My mom was a hugger even when you didn’t want a hug you got one! Knowing I was safe in her arms now as an adult I always go to her if not for advice then a hug. Her advice was to follow your heart and gut but when your stuck then she would help guide you. But she always asked us first how we felt and never degraded or cut us down but would try to steer us in another direction if she thought it wouldn’t hurt us. Tho sometimes she let us learn on our own if she knew a simple lesson would be learned. I was one of the lucky ones and am blessed to still have her today!
3 Likes
My mom helped me get on the bus when I was 19 to leave state (went to Ohio) and came and picked me up from out of state (Ohio) after my daughter’s biological father passed away
My mom is a genuinely kind person… she has always been right by my side anytime I needed her… from having her with me while I delivered my own children to when I just needed someone to run errands with and have a nice talk she has always been right there and I cannot imagine her being any less than my best friend. I’m sorry your mother hasn’t been that to you but im sure your doing amazing with your own! Just be supportive and loving even when you may not agree with every decision they make.
She had my back. In very tough times. She was the only one
Do everything differently from how your mother did when you were growing up. If you ever feel like you’re going to start yelling take a time out count to ten and then go back and deal with whatever trouble the kids are doing. My mother is the same as yours a very toxic woman. I raised my kids differently than my mother and they are strong individuals who are productive members of society. My mothers idea of punishment was brutal at times I found that the punishment should fit the crime meaning if they made a mess teach them to clean. My daughter decided to make breakfast for me on the wood floor I got the wash bucket and rags and I taught her to clean it that was the last time she did that she was almost 3
My mom always brought us to church and made sure we had plenty to eat and took great care of us when we were sick. My favorite memories are from our adult relationship tho. We went Christmas shopping when the kids were in school and had lunch together. We still try to go to lunch and sometimes just window shop
Her quote was let me sit by the side of the road and be a friend to man. She loved her Savior. she had a beautiful voice.
All of them. I am petrified of the day… I can’t even say it
1 Like
My mom had 3 kids. But now she has 2.
My brother was older than us. She raised my sister and I by herself.
My mother is the strongest woman I’ve ever met.
Shes also extremely determined and unbreakable.
She would and has gone to great lengths everything short of actually moving a mountain for me.
My son is now 6 months old.
He was a NICU baby. After I had him, I didn’t rest. I didn’t stop. I was at that hospital every single day from morning until evening. And twice on the weekends.
I grew up watching my mom stop at nothing when it came to us.
I only hope to be half the mom she is.
I was stuck in Florida a few years ago. And I was freaking out. Afraid I wouldn’t be able to get back to Vermont. Having a complete melt down she uses her stern mother voice
“Calm down. This isn’t helping anything. Now. I want you home. And you are coming home even if I have to come down there and get you myself. Now I have to go pull a rabbit out of my ass. I will call you back.”
She picked me up at the air port 3 days later.
Been there for me no matter what. Comfort me when I’m feeling down. We’re literally like sisters. She’s been in pain 24/7 the past few years and she still goes out her way for me and my son. She’s not perfect by any means but I really appreciate her. 
Well. I know what she doesn’t have that would make her a good mom. Lol. Simply listening. She doesn’t listen to me when I talk therefore I don’t listen to her either. Idk. We barely get along.
My mom disciplined us when necessary, she taught us (she had 3 girls and later adopted a girl) to be strong on our own. She taught us to be independent, and for that I will always be grateful. She didn’t coddle us. She wanted us to be independent. She always had our backs though. She put up with all of our bs (even though she was rarely happy about it 
). I love that she wanted us to be independent. I waited until 30 to marry. I have a career in a male dominant field, I’ve traveled the country, and did most of it on my own.
And now? My sister at 27 had a brain full of blood clots. Long story short no doctor can believe she is alive with the amount of brain damage she has. And my mom, is strong enough to change her diaper, bathe her, take care of her 24/7 instead of putting her in a nursing home. My sister fights her, biting and scratching etc. And still she does it. She never would have it any other way. Why? She’s momma. It’s what she does. She always has taken care of her family no matter the cost.
Those are the two things that I will always carry with me and be thankful to my momma for. My independence and knowing no matter how independent I am she will always be there to catch me if I fall.
3 Likes
I admire that my mom has always been strong, even if she didn’t want to be. I also admire that she always gave me advice even when I don’t want it. I love you Christine Daugherty
1 Like
My Mama is my rock. She raised my brother and I as a single mom. She worked her butt off in a factory and still is at 70. She taught/showed me how to be independent. We may not have had a lot but we were very rich in love. She was always there, not matter what. She tried to guide me in the right direction but if I chose to go the other, she’d let me fail. Tell me to learn from my mistake. That was a big one. As parents, we don’t want our kids to suffer/hurt/fail. But it’s all a learning experience. Her qualities are numerous. She shows me unconditional love, supportive, just, acceptance.
2 Likes
My mom was never afraid of being embarrassed and was always looking to make us laugh. The first thing I tell people about my mom is that she could make a anything her best friend if she just has 3 minutes lol she’s always had a way of making even strangers feel like her instant best friend.
My mom also NEVER got mad and punished us she would just said I’m disappointed that I wasn’t able to teach you better than this. We would BEG her to just let us be “in trouble” rather than her tell us she was disappointed
1 Like
My mother always said: be the mother you always wanted me to be.
3 Likes
She is/was always honest with me., about it all; the struggles she/we faced. She was/is a solid support system, one whom I can go to with anything. Always listening, sometimes to offer advice, other times, to let me go down my own path and face the reality of my choices. She taught me self respect, & how to love with no limits!
Look at all the things she did and does that you didn’t like and don’t do them. Keep ourself and your kids at a distance from her and tell her about your life as if you lived 2 to 3 hours away. Keep control of how much your mom is in your life.
My mom was like yours and when I could keep us away from her and her minions her fave kids, my youngest and next in age sister I and my kids did well. When my oldest was in high school mom decided she had to take care of my sister next to me and nothing I did kept her from kidnapping my daughter every weekend and all summer every summer to make her that sister’s private slave. My daughter only got away by joining the Air Force. My youngest sister did help if she could but she was seldom around.
Just love your babies. When it’s hard, when it’s easy, when you are depleted of energy, lean in with love. Always. Your kids will always remember that you loved them well.
Honesty , hard working , excellent listener , determined and the best friend in all the world !
my mom was always my biggest advocate and cheerleader. I always knew she supported me
She never left us no matter how hard life was. She went above and beyond. She made a lot of sacrifices and endured a lot of pain through the years. She thinks I don’t love her but I always pray for courage and strength that she has. I love my Nanay.
I admire that my mum was strict with me, but she and my dad taught me a good work ethic and encouraged me to work early. But they also encouraged me to have fun with my friends and made sure we didn’t grow up too fast.
2 Likes
My mom wasn’t exactly the best at saying “I love you” or showing affection but she was hard working and made sure we had what we needed. We didn’t have the best relationship when I was growing up but she also was diagnosed as “manic depressive” so that probably had a lot to do with that. We have a great relationship now. I actually moved back in with her in November following my divorce and she helps me with my kids. Her mental health has been stable for years so that helps. It also helps that I have problems with my mental health so I can relate when she’s having problems. We definitely have a better relationship now than when I was a teenager.
1 Like
What I love about my mom is no matter how tried she was she always had time to show us how much me and my siblings meant to her. I grew up with a very narcissistic father. She did it all on her own without any complaints or without any guilt trips or any manipulations. If we didn’t have enough food she would give up her food so our tummies were full. My mother was never and has never been selfish. That’s what stands out to me. I see many mothers who are completely selfish with their kids in everything. I am thankful my mother has always been so giving and always wearing her heart on her sleeve. You will always be remember in how did you love?
No judgment! My mom is my best friend because I can tell her absolutely anything and she won’t judge me ever. Same with her to me.
I was always able to talk to my mom about anything she was my protector when there was a bully on the school bus or at school she always called to get the situation fixed. She constantly reminded me about how beautiful I was to make sure I had self confidence she hugged me and told me she loved me multiple times every day I’m 27 and still tells me multiple times a day. We went shopping together or anything to spend time together. I am 1 out of 4 kids and my mother always found a way to make us all feel special.
1 Like
She believed me. She blessed me often and she cooked good meals!
I wish she would’ve disciplined me and not let me run all over her. I wish she would’ve found a middle ground. I know she did her best, when she was free from my abusive dad,she felt guilty of all the years he controlled my siblings and her. She loved us though, even when I wasn’t the best daughter.
2 Likes
Sissy the fact your asking this shows your already a good momma and keep doing what your doing cause your doing just fine just by you asking how to be a good mom shows you care tremendously about your babies enough to be even better so keep it up little momma your doing just fine
1 Like
My biggest supporter, hard working, memories created on holidays, always gave time attention and love
Supportive, kind, patient, compassionate, trustworthy, easy to talk to
None! My grandmother on the other hand, I admire her strength, her loyalty and loving nature, her laugh and her smile she is everything I could ever wish to be
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What qualities do you admire about your mother?
I love that you asked this. I am in a very similar boat with you so I don’t have much advice other than letting your instincts do the work. You’ve got this mama. And the fact you’re here asking for help says that you’re already a wonderful mom. Good luck to you love.
1 Like
Forgiveness. I was an asshole to my mother from around 12-19. My mom, along with my dad did all they could for my sisters and I. For some reason, I did all I could to make moms life a living hell. I’m so appreciative her now, I’m thankful she didn’t give up on me when she very easily could and should have.
Best advice: you aren’t their friend, you’re their mother. Be their mother. No matter how bad they want a friend. They’ll benefit most from a mother.
My Mom has always been my rock. When I was young, she taught me respect and manners. She took all the overtime she could to raise 3 kids on a nurses salary. We are talking early 70s. Nurses made crap but she made it work. I learned to work early on, in the garden so we could eat. My uncle raised cattle. I had a job when I was 13. When I grew up my Mom was always there for me. She never turned against me no matter how bad I screwed up. She’s now 89 and in a home. I now go see her and do what I can for her. My .Mom is m,y best friend.
1 Like
I have had a pretty rough go of a relationship with my mom too, since I was 8.
We haven’t spoken much since Thanksgiving of 2019.
She hasn’t always been this way. She used to be the one person in the world I wanted most.
She was the first person I’d call when I needed to heal.
I’ve learned a lot from her about what I don’t want to be. As a person and parent. But here is what I have learned from her that I am happy to be.
- I teach my kids how the world works with Karma. Good and Bad
- I enjoy and know how to represent myself in affluent social circles
- I know how healing a late night drive with the windows down and radio up can be.
- I allow my kids their autonomy. They are safe to share and articulate their human emotions.
- I’ve learned the value in having as many pictures as you possibly can
- I have taught my kids that you are allowed to have your boundaries with everyone. If it hurts, it hurts. Family doesn’t get unlimited hall passes
My momma was and still is very loving but strict on certain things. My lil sister, brother, and I, we’re brought up in church, taught manners, respect for not only others, but for ourselves, too. She is still a great listener and advice giver, never once made us feel bad about any decision we made, but just talked about the actions and the consequences. She raised us to know that family means everything and it don’t matter if us siblings weren’t getting along, that if one or the other of us 3 needed the other 2, you be there! She taught us how to work hard at anything we did, if we got frustrated, she taught us how to take a deep breath, step back, wait 5-10 mins and try again, don’t give up. She’s always got my back lol There is so, so much more lol but most of all, my momma is my best friend 
I can talk to her about anything, that is one of the best feelings, EVER!! I raised mine, or did my best, lol the same way and I have a great relationship with mine Don’t worry, hun, you’re gonna be a GREAT momma!!
1 Like
My momma is actually my stepmom…But she is been my mom for 51 yrs…my birth mother was not in the picture.
My mom was a very hard worker and worked as much as she could on extra shifts so we kids never had to do without…there were 5 of us…She had a brain tumor and had to be off work for a while to heal from surgery…That didnt stop her…Our house was immaculate. She was always cleaning…cooking…and even raised a garden with only a hoe a pick a rake and a shovel. My dad was sickly in and out of the hospital all his life but she always took care of us and we knew the only steps in that house came from the drive way and up on the porch…I could talk about her all day…she my hero.SHE IS THE ONLY PERSON THAT I HAVE NEVER HEARD TELL A LIE… I love my Mom.
8 Likes
My Mom was always my best friend. Together always sharing everything in life. When it came to a point in her life where she needed taken care of I didn’t hesitate to bring her to my home. Her smile and laughter could light up a room until she took her last breath. I miss her terribly 
My mother raised my brother and sister and I on her own. She did her best to give us all we needed and always made us feel secure. As an adult she has been the ear on the other end of the phone. A great Nana to her mokos. We don’t always agree and woah we can get into at times. She however is the one person in my life that will never let me down. If I can be half of the parent to my boys as she’s been to me. I’m winning.
My mom is the most selfless person I know! She does SO MUCH for me and my daughter. She says the reason is because she didn’t have help (were a military family) and she remembered how hard it was. Especially when my dad was deployed. So my advice to you is just be there, listen to them, accept their feelings, talk to them. Even simple conversations make a difference to them. She was the first person I called when I had my miscarriage, the first person I told when I was pregnant again. She’s always been in my corner and def picks up my slack with my own daughter as I’m a nurse and work A LOT! she still comes over every morning so she can take her to school because it’s “the best way to start her day”. I love that you want to be the best mom for your kids.
She was a God fearing woman !!! She taught us to be thankful for the little we had!
My mom read us stories every night before bed. She would sing us songs during the day and made us whatever we wanted for breakfast. She braided my hair everyday all the way through high school. She always told me that I was beautiful and I could do anything once I put my mind to it. She made us help her out whenever she prepared meals and it was one way for us to all interact with each other. We always ate our meals at the dinner table and talked about everything possible. I live very far from my mommy now but we still FaceTime every morning and talk while doing breakfast and eating together. My baby girl loves grama and grandpa time. I would say to just love on them. Hold them, read to them, play with them, let them know that they are important and the center of your life.
Not a good relationship with my Mom but she was always there. I knew I could ‘go home’ if I ever needed to.
Let me tell you, my mother wasn’t the mom I needed or wanted. A very close family friend became/is my mom now. We talk everyday, she is my best friend. She is there for my kids abd is the best Grammy. We ALWAYS get to pick who we have in our life and our childrens life.
My mom and I are so close…she did all she could to take care of us 6 kids…worked everyday of her life and never called in sick…always cooked us a home cooked meal every night…got us up for school every day and took us there…she is still the strongest woman I know
Just show up,be supportive and be honest 
She was my best friend
Well I’m 60. I have plenty of hired help at home. 8 months ago I got cancer. She comes every day and makes me breakfast lunch and dinner. When I’m in bad shape she crawls in bed with me and rubs my entire body. When I have good days, she holds my hand and walks me around my property. She sleeps with me on my bad nights and gives me space when I need it. She can literally read my mind at 81 years old. She is my best friend in the entire world.
10 Likes
The fact you are even wondering means you are a great mom!!!
5 Likes
This is a great question!
Just be the best that you can be for your kids and yourself
Every parent screws up. Every single one. Just do your best.
The fact that you can acknowledge that your mother is a toxic person, and that you want to be different already says to me that you’re being the best mother to your children.
She was the best friend I could ever have
I learned how not to be from my mother. You recognize she was horrible. That’s a great start!!
Honestly, my mom died when I was 4. I’m 36 now. I didn’t get the best support from my family growing up. I ended up with 2 boys. I don’t know what tf im doing honestly. But what I DO know is that I’m doing everything and giving everything I would have wanted emotionally at that age.
2 Likes
My moms just amazing!! She’s smart, open minded and we are incredibly close. Growing up she was just always there (as was my daddy) and ready to support, reprimand and give advice whenever needed. What sticks with me the most is: my parents are always there for me. And I try to give them back that feeling. We don’t always see eye to eye but we talk and find the middle ground. My mom was and is laid back and strict at the same time - always according to what I need 
my moms just fun to be around
1 Like
Like you i don’t have a Relationship with mine. I just do all the things they didn’t do that I needed them to do for me and my kids show me everyday I’m getting it right.
1 Like
None
Although it does take a certain type of skill and dedication to willfully ignore your husband molesting your daughter for fucking years 
Sledding, building snowmen, going to Walmart at 9PM to buy on some cheap item my mom finally decided to buy for herself. Usually decor lol going out late just to drive around.
My mom was always there for me no matter what & still is… she didn’t grow up with a mother that was there for her but she has always been there for me & my children… she loves us unconditionally… and that has been her greatest gift to us… just do the best you can… love & support your children and be there for them … that will make all the difference in their lives…
One of the things my mom did that we really loved was play games with us. Clue, Yahtzee, Trouble, Parcheesi–almost anything but Monopoly. She’d get really animated, especially if you sent one of her pieces ‘home’…she’d make a big deal out of coming after your game piece. We laughed a lot playing games with her. It’s some of my fondest childhood memories.
My mother was a late bloomer when she had me. (She was 39). I didnt get but 14 yrs with her until she passed, im 38 now. But I will always remember she was a hard worker and loved her family.
She never spanked me or yelled at me. We had it rough and were poor, but she took me to the playground and to swim all the time so I never knew it. She never judged me even for bad behavior, she would show me disappointment, and that hurt my feelings but she was passive about it. I knew I could tell her everything and anything and she would never blow up at me. She was amazing.