What role should I play in planning my step daughters wedding?

Hey, y’all! I have a question that’s not beauty-related. Any ladies that have been in a role as either the mom, stepmom, or daughter in a blended family. My husband’s daughter is getting married. I have been in her life for almost ten years. What role am I expected to play at her wedding? I’d love to be next to her father, but I don’t want to over step


Ask her. It’s her wedding.


I would lay back and wait for her to ask for your participation.


Its her special day. Ask her what she wants

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I agree, with above statement :heart: simple

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Explain just that to her. Ask her what you can do to help and be a part of it

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UMMMM he is your husband, How is this overstepping? Your place is next to your husband periodt!!


I have a step-father that was in my life for over ten years before I got married and I think that he did the right thing by waiting for me to approach him with what we wanted him involved with. I would think that would be the best way to handle this situation. Unless you’re really close and can just casually talk about the wedding. She may open up about what she’s expecting. Good luck!

Ask the bride what she would like for you to do.

Lol, regardless of how good your intentions are and have been, you’re still “ not my mom” wait until she asks for your participation that way you know you’re wanted and actually maybe appreciated. Just my opinion and how I’d handle things with my experiences with step kids.

Im not a stepmom but I’ve been the stepdaughter getting married. Tell her you are willing to help her with anything and then step back unless you’re asked or told what role to play. Every situation is different. I wasnt close to my birth mom so mine was different. My stepmom was actually my maid of honor but as I said everyone is different.

I agree you should ask her what makes her comfortable. Don’t want to cause any unnecessary drama on her special day.

You know what you want but it’s her wedding. Talk with her and ask her where she would like u to be and what role she wants you to play in her wedding. Be respectful of her wishes even if it doesnt work in your favor.


Ask her what she wants you to do

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It should be up to the step daughter

As a step mom you get no role unless she gives you one. It’s her day ask her what she wants


I agree with some of the other comments.

Just ask her what she wants :slightly_smiling_face:

It is the bride’s day. Ask her. Talk to her.


Well, the just fact that you are asking this question at all says so much about how much you value your step daughter and your relationship with her and the respect you have for her. Keep it up and make sure you just abide by her feelings. Ask her what roles she needs you for. Tell her you are willing to be there in whatever way she needs. She will let you know if you ask her.


Ask her if she wants help.

Ask her! She may or may not have a part for you to play!

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Not trying to be rude, You have No role unless the Bride delegates one for you. This is her day, and the planning is a very special bonding experience for mother and daughter, Regardless her parents are divorced THEY are still HER parents. I understand you have been part of her life for almost 10yrs, But her parents have been her parents her entire life.


Whatever she asks? If she don’t ask u to do nothing then just show up and congratulate

Wait for her to ask.

If she gives you a role then take it otherwise just support her as she enjoys her day!

Be prepared for all the family pics that don’t include you, but include your husband and his ex together.

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So I totally get it. Sit down and talk to her. Make sure she understands that you will be what she wants you to be and you will have no problem with it because it’s her special day. If she wants you to just show up and sit then that is what you will do. If she wants your help, you will be more than happy to!


It all depends on the relationship you have with her and more importantly her mother. If it’s good… talk to them and say you’d like to be apart of because you love your stepdaughter. If it’s contentious, I’d step back and let it be. Go as a guest. Hopefully you have a good relationship with the mom and stepdaughter.

Ask her what she would like honesty is best👍

You should be with your husband no matter the circumstances. If the mom is single he could sit between the two women.

Whatever role you play or don’t play. You’re always gonna be step mama and you’ll always be loved and needed. Your heart is in the right place. Just ask to speak with her and let your wants be known and then let her decide. :slightly_smiling_face: maybe her blood mother will recognize this and let you be apart of everything along with the brides permission. I hope it works out. Sending loving vibes.

Tell her if she needs anything that you are there and are willing to help other than that that’s all you can do

Ask her what she would like

Ask her what if anything you could do to help?

Just ask and let her know you’ll help in any way she needs, it is HER wedding still. Don’t be upset when it’s the mother of the bride or father of the bride who get more attention than you, it’s HER day, not yours.

10 years and you are invited to the wedding that says alot…now don’t do to much, for the ceremony she could have you sit upfront for when her dad gives her away he can sit next to you. I would chat with her dad and see if he knows of anything you could do as this is his daughter as well… Lastly if you aren’t required to do anything just enjoy the day, tell her she beautiful and just participate in their joy…

I am a step mom who raised the child from a year old. (Total 13 out of 18 yrs) That is my son. But he is also her son. I never would assume I would play a role in a wedding of any of my kids whether I birthed them or not. I would just tell them I am willing to help if they would like. That’s just me. 💁

Ask you step daughter what she need from you


I would ask her. It depends how close you are

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Ask her depends on how close you two are

Ask her and get a pretty :dress: dress :blush:

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Thats up to her but just ask her what you can do and how you can be there for her


Ask her what she needs/wants from you.

Just be as supportive as possible. You never know she may surprise you with how much she wants you involved :wink:.

Ask her what she wants from you

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Itll be up to her. Its her big day. Just dont overstep or get mad and make the situation worse. Just be supportive no matter what.

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Ask. Be there if and when she need you. I’d just be happy for her and helpful when needed :blush:

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Ask her. Just dont over step or push.

Ask her. I just went with what ever. I gave her a shower where I live and then she had a bachelorette party in the city she lives. I was there too.

Most women on their wedding need people the most on the set up days. Does she have a planner? If she does she may not have a coordinator to set up the banquet hall. I tried to help my cousin by being available where she needed me. Setting up tables and setting stuff out. She may need make up done. Help stepping into her dress.

I would ask her what she would like.


Ask her . Only she knows what your role for the day is

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Ask her. I’ve seen plenty of weddings were they have parents and step parents involved

I think that’s really up to her. I had my father walk me down the isle but when they introduced the parents my mom walked in with my dad on one arm and my step dad on the other. My stepdad was apart of my life for a while and I wasn’t going to make him feel left out. Side note he was actually supposed to push my dad in a wheelchair so they both could be there by my side but little did I know my stepdad helped my dad by helping him pay for his prosthetic leg and taking him to physical therapy to learn to walk again


It’s up to her but she will probably make you a brides maid possibly.

Just step back and have her come to you if she wants you to play a role in her wedding.


Definitely ask her and don’t try to take charge of anything without consulting with her first.


Ask her. That’s really the best thing you can do.

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Sit down with her and ask her what she wants for you for her wedding

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Her call, but if you have an idea, I would share it with her. Just accept her right to decline.

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Ask her what role she wants you to play, if any

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I’m a stepmom. Step son recently got married. I asked. So you need to ask you stepdaughter. Don’t get hurt if you aren’t asked. Just relish in her happy day. Oh and I was seated on the front row with her stepfather, mother, my husband and my mother. It felt nice to be included in that way. But remember this is her day.


Ask her what role she wants you to play


It’s her wedding, her rules . Do whatever she wants it’s her special day

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I wanted my stepmom to sit next to my dad and my step dad to sit next to my mom even though they’re not together anymore. I also wanted my dad and stepdad to walk me down the isle. I would just talk to her about it and just go with what she wants🙏 nobody wants a bridezilla lol

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Ask her, none of us will know what she’s after out of her day.
Don’t be offended if she doesn’t want you to be a big part of it

Ask her what she wants you to do.

Ask her and make sure she knows you are there if she needs you. Don’t force anything on her.

I had my stepmom wear whatever she wanted and she did the entrance with my dad at the reception, that was pretty much it. They weren’t married yet but I wanted her to feel special. It’s totally up to the bride though…

It will be up to her. U can still be there for her and her father.

She’s an adult. If she wants you involved in any way she’ll ask.


Ask her…don’t force anything… but if she expects you to be anywhere but seated with her dad…your husband…she needs to examine herself.

I’m a daughter… Just ask her if there’s anything specific she’s like you to do/help with. Make sure she knows you won’t be upset with whatever she chooses, but you want her to know you’re happy to help in any way you can. :slight_smile:

Why wouldn’t you be their beside her daddy your his wife your bot his ex their room for both of you.also ask her

You need to ask her. We all know we brides can get picky. Lol

per etiquette you should be seated next your husband but anything beyond that is up to your stepdaughter… just let her know that you’re open to help with whatever they may need but try to not be offended if you aren’t asked to help

Ask her what she wants you to do

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Thats for her to decide… Not you…


Just let her know you’re there if she needs you.

It all depends on what she wants. Don’t get offended or upset if it isn’t a huge role. I never really had a “dad” until my mom found her now husband. And within the past handful of years he’s done more than anyone my mom’s ever been with and when it came to my wedding I personally asked him to walk me down the isle. He’s been the only real man my mom’s ever been with and honestly I wish he was my father by blood.

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You should ask your step daughter what role she wants you to play. It is her decision to make.

You should be next to her father. You walk together. Bio mom walks with her husband or a brother etc

My dad passed away in 2018 and my stepdad of 1oish years is walking me down the aisle in 5 days! Just ask her how you can help and she’ll tell you what she wants/needs you to do!

Whatever role she asks you to play. Ask her if there is anything you can do, just let her know you would like to help. Planning a wedding can be stressful.

I would assume you are a guest only.

Tbh Not being funny by the sounds of it She hasn’t asked you Or given you a role. I definitely wouldnt Ask what role should I play at ur wedding? just be Happy u got Invited!

Why is this prefaced that it’s not a beauty-related question? :woman_shrugging:t3:

This is not an animal-related response - go with whatever the step daughter wants you to do.

You allow her to choose what role and parts you play in her wedding. Hopefully when my step daughter is old enough & gets married shell want to include me but she does have an amazing mother and I would never try dictate my place in her life. I’d say talk to your step daughter and see how she wants HER big day to be. Its totally possible she wants her parents to sit together for pictures or she wants all of you together. You wont know until you talk to her. Dont go making it about what you want to do either, simply as her what she wants and help make it happen. If she doesn’t want you to play a major role in her wedding day dont be visibly upset. Its probably not personal honestly, it’s just what she always wanted. You’ve said you’ve been in her life for 10 years so I’m sure shes including you in some sense. But try to understand that this probably something shes imagined happening for a long time and her mother and father have always been a part if it in her head. Just do what she wants, reguardless of if you stand or sit with the man for one night, hes still your husband and hes going home with you. I personally would completely understand if my step daughter wanted her mother and father to sit together for her wedding, they are after all her parents, and her wedding day should be all about her.


What did she say when you sat down and talked to her about it?

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You need to ask her, not anyone else.

She should let you know. If nothing be there to support and be apart of the day by being present.

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Did you mean in the planning stages or at the ceremony or reception?

You “should” not expect anything and just be prepared to go as a guest and help her celebrate her marriage. Don’t get hurt feelings over this. It’s 100% her day.


The only person who can tell you that is her. You may not have any role. It’s her day. Please don’t THAT step mom & try to make her day about you in anyway. If she wants you to do anything she’ll ask you. Not the other way around.

i would simply ask her is there anything that she would like you to do tell her you are happy helping then casually ask what her plans are for the bridal party and put her mind at ease letting her know you are happy for it to be any way she chooses as if you are a little troubled by this imagine how she is feeling about it yous will all have a great day and beautiful memories to keep :heart:

My step mom will be In the front row playing just as big a role in my wedding as my mom will be. There will be mother of the bride dresses picked for both and they’ll both be part of the ceremony in the places where moms are needed. She has just as much of a role in my life as my biological mother. She loved me and cared for me. Guided me and etc as my my biological mother.

I think it depends on the relationship you have had with your stepdaughter honestly.

Ask your step daughter what role she wants you to play

Let her know you are there for her if she needs anything then step back and let her do her thing

Ask her what she wants you to do. Let her know you want to help her make her special day go off without a hitch

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Ask the bride what she wants, it’s her day.

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