He’s being childish. Let those babies see their grandparents. The kids are innocent.
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Absolutely every right
Your husband’s an asshole
If he doesn’t want to have a relationship fine but they’re your parents you and your kids can have a relationship with them if you want one. That’s how abuse starts whether its physical or emotional/ mental, its separation from family then friends and so on.
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There’s no reason you and your children shouldn’t be “allowed” to have contact with your family. Unless they are damaging the children in some way, it’s ridiculous to think it’s appropriate to keep you all separated. He shouldn’t be required to participate when you see your family, and both sides should refrain from speaking ill of the other in front of the kids, or even in front of you, because that puts you, as much as the kids, in the middle of a fight that’s neither yours or theirs to have. He’s the asshole in this scenario, and the fact that you need permission from strangers to have contact with your own family is concerning.
You need to speak to both your parents and your husband. First thing you need to tell your parents is he is your husband. You don’t have to like or love him, but you darn well will respect him. You love your husband and you will not be having strife around your children because they do not like him. First bit of bs you will take the kids home.
To your husband. You love him and your parents. He doesn’t have to like or love them either, but he needs to respect them, also. You will have his back. You will not allow your parents to talk bad about him around you or your children. The minute they do you will up and leave. You expect any anger he has about your parents not to be said in front of the children.
Do you know why they do not like on another? Is there a way they can work out why?
Let your parents know that your husband will be your choice. You don’t want to hear crap about him. Tell you husband they are your parents and you don’t want to hear crap about them. If they can’t work out the relationship so it is not rough on you and the children they don’t need to see on another. Make sure the bounderies are in place though for your parents. Time outs and low or no contact can and will happen.
Make sure your parents are treating and respecting you good. This could be why your husband has a problem with them.
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Tell them to back off!
They’re your parents. And the kid’s grandparents. I’d let them see the kids. It’s important
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Why are your husband and parents fighting? Normally, when parents don’t like a spouse it’s because the spouse is a jerk, especially when you say your parents have always been good to you and helped you. Sounds like you need to tell your husband to grow up, and why would you allow him to stop you from seeing your parents?
He also doesn’t get to dictate whether or not your kids see your parents. The kids are their grandchildren and unless your parents are abusive, they have a right to see them.
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You dont with hold kids they are not pawns. Hubby is wrong…(no withholding except where abuse is a factor)
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putting differences aside cuz he is the one punishing your kiddos. they dont have to like each other but its just like a divorce you have to put your shit aside for the sake of the kids! ALWAYS! think of them and tell your hubs to suck it up and that he doesnt have to be present for them to see the grand parents
Let them go stay home that’s what I do
If my spouse & parents don’t have a LEGIT reason to be fighting I’m not picking sides… I’m not going to stop talking to my parents just because my SO has a problem with them… &im not taking my children away from grandparents that they love & who love them back!
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Simply put it was an argument between the adults not the kids. It’s not the the kids fault so they should be aloud to see them.
That’s between your mamma and your husband, the kids have nothing to do with it they shouldnt be denied they grandparents.
Your children are not a part of your husbands & your parents tisk with eachother. Don’t drag those babies into this adult business.
Off course, he is controlling you. I dont care who or what he is… no one should stop you from seeing your parents…I smell a NARCISSIST!!!
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You have the right to see your parents without his consent. The children should know their Grand Parents, and they have laws now concerning Grandparents rights. If he has a problem, he can stay home. He’s being juvenile.
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I have a similar issue. My husband and my parents do not get along (my dad friendly to him at times ). Ever since we got married in 2012, I can count the number of times my husband and my mum talked. All because my husband went for training (military) and he asked me to go and live with since I was a high risk pregnancy. I went to live with them. Then one day my mum and I had an argument and she hit me and used my head to hit the wall. I was dizzy and went to the hospital. I later lost the pregnancy at 21 weeks (2004). Since that time they’ve never talked or even said hi to each other. I understand where my husband is coming from but she’s also my mum. It took me 2 years to forgive her but my husband is still hurt. It took us 4 years to have another child. I love my parents but I respect my husband’s decision too.
Yes… Imo you shouldn’t let the kids not see their gp over an adult problem. Tell him to grow up a little and think more of the kids than their issues
He can choose not to see them but id take the kids to see their grandparents especially if they had relationship previous.
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Their your kids too. Let grandparents see them. If he can’t make up with parents his problem. Kids didn’t do anything to not see g&g
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He has no right to come between tour relationship with your parents or your kid’s and their grandparents to long as the relationship isn’t toxic to anyone involved. If the kids are loved and nurtured by them and you are as well, he should respect your wishes to let them spend time together. He doesn’t have to go with you or have a relationship with them himself in order to let you and the kids have one. He’s being petty and childish to say that you’re not allowed to talk with someone because he doesn’t want to talk to them. Grow up.
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As a child who has gone through this, let them see their grandparents!!! I only had a few years left with my grandpa after I decided to go behind my mother’s back. I would give ANYTHING to have more time with him
What your husband is doing is controlling your relationship with your parents and that is abuse it is considered mental abuse and personally someone who tries to control who I can see, talk to or talk about I would not be with because that abuse can get really bad and really dangerous.
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Of course you have rights just as much as him.
Life is way too short, he will have to get over it
I can not stand my Mother in law havent spoke to her going on 5 years but NEVER have i EVER said my bf couldnt have a relationship with her let alone our son. As much as i despise her. Thats low tacky and classless. Your bf doesnt have to have a relationship with them but you can. And if hes not allowing YOU to have a relationship with them let alone the innocent children then you need to re evaluate your relationship or he needs to grow the heck up … Its sick and makes him look trashy let alone controlling
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He dont gotta see them… Theres the answer
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It just depends on the details. If your parents are toxic, I would understand why your husband wouldn’t want the kids around. If it’s something more of a power trip from your husband, then I would just tell him it’s not fair to the kids. If you had the same relationship with your in laws, would you still want them to see your kids?
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Of course you do. Forgive/ forget. Get along
U sure do. Does your. Husband, really. Love. U?
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Asking why should your children be punished for disagreement he had with your parents tell him he is behaving like a child there may be a disagreement between him and them but the kids shouldn’t be a part of it and tell him I’m sure the kids have seen his parents that if they can’t see your parents their grandparents then they can’t see his parents their grandparents and see how he feels about that
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And if a man really loves u , he’ll do eny thing for. U
No man is gonna tell me or my children that I can’t talk or see my own damn parents
Adults have to remember U don’t marry the in-laws ,but in saying that yr kids still have the right to know their grandparents nomatter how the adults feel about each other , it all comes down to the kids they don’t ask to be bought into this world but they shouldn’t miss our either because adults can’t grow up and get along whilst the kids are around
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He is putting you in the middle. You need to work on him and your parents to find a way to settle this argument for the sake of you and your children.
One day both your parents are going to pass away. You will end up resenting him for the time you lossed because of this nonsense.
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Never keep your kids from their grands.
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As long as your safety or that of your children isn’t a concern, he needs to let you and the kids see them.
He doesn’t have to go, but you should be able to see your family and take your children around them. I would offer that as a compromise.
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Ok, family therapy for you & the hubs. Do your parents & he just rub each other the wrong way? Or does he object to how they deal with the kids? Is there fear of harm? Or is he just mad they don’t seem to like him?
A therapist can get to the underlying feelings behind the snit. Once you & he work out your differences, bring your parents in & reach a compromise.
For example, you can get together with your kids and your parents without him, he will only come when you all do an activity together (bowling, ice skating, Chuck E. Cheese, restaurant), parents will stop offering candy after 3 pm, everyone agrees to NOT talk about sex, politics, religion or how to raise children, or whatever.
Good luck! Some adults are just not very good at adulting, and need a nudge towards maturity.
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This is a very very hard position to be and I truly feel your pain. In all honesty for your children it is better to let it go, move forward with caution. I would try to chat to hubby about it from the kids point of view. Let him know that you will be taking the kids for visits and that he is welcome to join them when he is ready. It is no longer a choice for him since he has decided you don’t have just as much right as him to make such decions. Wish you all the best it is so awful when all you want is for family to get a long and if they don’t like each other it can be so hurtful and hard.
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They are your parents you have every right to talk to them remember you maybe married to him but he ain’t blood , and blood is thicker than water so the saying goes…if he isn’t respecting your feelings at all I would be upset… I suppose you see his family more. He sounds a bit immature holding grudges, life is too short girl and you need your folks too… tell him to wise up, he will sulk but he will get over it. Does the children want to see their grandparents cos if they do then he has to step back, he doesn’t have to meet your folks in fact they maybe a better atmosphere when he isn’t around, all the best to you and your family I hope it works out for you x
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Thats sad they need to make up nothing can be that bad.
Think he needs to grow up and let the kids see their grandparents.he dnt have to see or talk to them.why punish the kids
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Shame on you… I would never allow my husband to tell me not to see my parents, OH MY GOD. Unless they are monsters. You need to talk to your parents and tell them to respect you and your husband and tell your husband to respect you and your parents. Your kids need grandma and grandpa. May God Bless your family.
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Tell your husband to grow the hell up!!
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I don’t get along with my in-laws at all!!!
We have had multiple encounters but I never stopped my daughter from visiting or talking to them she has nothing to do with the situation and around holidays ect we just do things separate my boyfriend baby and I at home then he goes to his family with her and i do mine
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Regardless of whats gone on with your husband and parents, there your kids grandparents. They love your kids and your kids love them. And ultimately other than the effect it has on you not speaking to your parents, the kids are suffering x
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Your husband and your parents are elders that can solve their problems with each other,as for the kids they have the right to their grandparents, your husband has been selfish and immature about this, and it’s also wrong of him to forbid you to communicate with your parents, totally out of line
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Has nothing to do with the kids, he should be mature enough to not involve them, u should’ve mature enough to as well. Not ok at all
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You do not ever withhold children unless said adults are detrimental to THEM! Adult drama and problems are not theirs, so don’t make them their baggage.
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Tell your husband the kids aren’t a weapon. They did nothing to them. Or YOU. So tell him he doesn’t have to see them, they do. Who does he think he is?!
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I would tell him to fk off (excuse my language) but they are your parents and just because he doesn’t like them doesn’t mean u have to be the same it’s your family and at the end of the day they are the ones who will always be there for u and your kids if u ever need them , he needs to grow up or get lost is what I would be saying to him
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Funny how because this is the husband saying the wife can’t take the kids to her parents everybody is like he needs to grow up the kids have nothing to do with it blah blah. But when women ban the mans family from seeing the kids it’s cut them off they are toxic, tell your husband respect your wishes.
I just can’t get over how one these pages are…
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Not knowing what they were arguing about it is hard to say. The fact that you didn’t talk to your own parents for a while makes me wonder. BUT if the kids were not included in this turmoil they should see your parents. He doesn’t have to go. You are not disrespecting him, you are honoring your children’s lives to know grandparents. Maybe a visit for a couple of hours with you there? Or tell husband you will take them while he is working so he doesn’t miss any time with you and the kids… A loving husband would not forbid you or kids to visit them. He has the issue (your parents too with him?). I sure hope your family finds some peace with holidays coming up and all.
Never let your spouse…Male or female dictate your relationship with your parents, unless it’s an abusive relationship it’s just childish… if your spouse and parents dont get alone that’s fine, but not allowing you or your kids to have a relationship with them is wrong. I didn’t always have the best relationship with my mother in law but we made it work, for the family… and it was me and hubby at her bedside while she was sick and in hospice dying from cancer in here belly and brain… she got so mean…but we stayed and loved her, and I am forever grateful that crazy, cranky woman came into my life, she gave me the greatest gift, her son…our kids, our grandkids… without her it would never been the same… they may not be your favorite people but if you are with the love of your life then at least be grateful… these petty behaviors will only spread poison through your family.
My folks and husband don’t like each other either and despite the issues your his ad has with your folks he has no right to keep your kids away from your folks. I would fight this children need thier grandparents as much as they need thier folks
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Most people will tell you to cut your parents off. I disagree…My husband and my step mom at first didn’t get along but he was Never petty enough to keep our kids from her because regardless she loved them…that was the ONLY mom i had and ONLY grandma they had. Its NOT worth it. I wish i had her back. Especially around the holidays… Don’t pick and choose out of parents and husband because both are important. Parents will ALWAYS be your parents. You can and should talk to them. Let them know they need to respect your husband and let him know the same thing. They ALL need to quit being petty and get along for the kids… Once my step mom and husband did things were much better. Parents are and should be very, very important to…
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He needs to grow up, I feel kids need grandparents. He’s holding them hostage and that’s unfair
I grew up with that crap all my life with parents and relatives it’s not good for your kids who will miss so much from your parents. I am speaking from experience.
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I would like his take on this before (both sides) & grandparents too before advising you .
What is between your husband and parents is between them , your kids are in the middle and that’s not fair to anyone , just don’t let either talk about the other, I’m sure your parents are heartbroke not to see the kids , and if something would happen to your parents your gonna be sorry , good luck momma it’s a bad situation all around:broken_heart:
They are your children also and your parents. It is not the childrens fault that the adults cant handle their differences like adults. Dont punish the children for the acts of the parents
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I have not seen three of my grandkids in several years. It is painful but there is nothing I can do. My son and his wife have convinced the kids that I am horrible. I know I am not the only one hurt by this. It is never ok to use your children as weapons!
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Seriously of course when your kids grow up and are in this same situation do you not want to see your babies and grandbabies. Someone has to look at big picture.
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If they are good to your children DO NOT. Keep grandparents away. Do not let the adults run each other down in front of kids.
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yes the kids should have nothing to do with adult issues. unless it was that tbey did something to the kids or that put them in harms way then they shd be allowed to see them. and u should never stop speaking to ur parents especially if the dislike is mutual, bcz in d end they are the ones that will always b there for u. if he leaves u its gonna b unfair that u then go back to look for them
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You only get one set of biological parents. Your husband doesn’t have to see them if he doesn’t want to. The only people he would really be hurting will be your children. Let your parents see your babies!!! You go see your parents. You may not get another opportunity and you will regret if something bad happens😞
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Hell yes you do! He doesnt get to say they can ot can not see grand parents. Now if where his family let it be…
No way would I allow him to keep your children away from your parents that’s so wrong in so many ways! We are our children’s voices our children need all the family that’s around I would do anything for my parents to have met all my grandkids! Not fair to the children! Also it’s so nice you have reconnected with your parents NO MAN WOULD EVER TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME OR CHILDREN!!!
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Try to do family counseling find out why ur parents dont lime your husband and vice versa. Because thats totally unfair to the kids to not know tveir grandparents because of adult issues. If you have a church you att3nd ask your preacher for some guidance
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Kids are not pawns and grandparents are not around forever.
You have every right to let them see your parents. I would reccomend having family counseling though.
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Do they love your children? Have they ever hurt your children or put them in any danger? (Disobey your rules, bad mouth your husband around them?) Or been completely disrespectful to your husband when it was completely uncalled for and unwilling to try to better the relationship? If none of those are true… Someone should grow up. He can feel how he wants but not use kids as pawns. It’s hurtful to all involved. The children, the grandparents, and YOU. Pleae understand I believe in respecting my husband as he does me. I have his back to anyone, even when he’s wrong at times. But those times would never include when it goes against my children’s well being. Communication is key. Talk to him. If he’s unreasonable, then it becomes his problem. It’ll probably cause problems between you two. If it does, how many good, solid relationships do you know of that include ultimatums? You may be dodging a bullet. But I hope he comes around, good luck!
I had that problem with my in laws. They did not like me and tried everything to to break us up. I choose to be the bigger person and took my girls to see them every time we were in the state. My husband was in the air force so we were not stationed there.
The way you treat your parents Iis how you teach your kids to treat you.
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Of course you have that right. But expect your husband to be angry about it. Kids should not be put in the middle of adult disagreements
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As long as the grandparents are good to the kids, then definitely reconnect and have them be a part of the kids lives. Husband sounds like he has some anger he needs to work out but not at the expense of a beneficial grandparent/grandchild relationship.
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Sad but it is the kids that suffer the most.
You have every right to let your parents see them. He doesn’t get that the kids will be more hurt by that then him
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Well, the fight was between him and your parents! Now he using the children against the grandparents so they don’t get to see them. He is dead wrong. And a very immature man. Those children need their grandparents who love them. Those children deserve that extra love. So, your husband is a very selfish man who only thinks of himself. Of course, you have rights. You tell him the problem was between him and parents not the kids. The children have nothing to do with it. If he doesn’t want to be around your parents that’s his prerogative. But he can’t use the children against them.
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I let my husband (now ex husband) do this to me (with who I called my parents they were my last foster parents). Now my whole family is divided and my parents are gone. My kids never really got to know their grandparents. It is my biggest regret.
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Do not allow him to put the kids in the middle. Grandkids love grandma and pa there is a special bond. He needs to grow up and is screwing up the kids by being so childish. AND you shouldn’t even have to ask for advise on what to do. Your husband may leave you tomorrow but your parents will always be there. What the hell is wrong with him!
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And they cant be all bad, they raised you and he loves you correct?
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Yes that argument between your husband and them don’t punish the kids
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Yes but there will be fights
He should not expect you or your kids not to see them . He does not need to go with you but he not your boss you can actually do as you wish
As long as the grandparents do not involve your children in petty arguments and badmouthing your husband in front of them, then I see no reason to keep them away from The grandparents.
Yes!!!Absolutely,
I would like to know why you stop speaking to your parents, did they do something to you or did you stop because your husband wanted you to, if it’s because of him shame on you, do you ever want your kids to stop speaking to you because of someone else, this is so sad on so many levels
Never put kids in the middle of adult situations and never keep the kids from their grandparents and you need your parents in your life life is too short for Peru resentment
I would pick my husband’s side. If the grandparents don’t like the husband and he doesn’t like them, then why allow someone who doesn’t like the kids father around them. I don’t allow anyone that is related to my husband near our kids.
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Your kids should not be unable to see thier grandparents. Keep kids OUT of adult problems.
I hVent seen my daughter and grandson in 6 months hernbf leftnhern6 months pregnatnwell after 2 and a half yrs he come got her n my grandson n moved Tennessee my heart died that moment I was told we couldn’t see them I cant send gifts cards ecf… I was with home every day for 2yrs I cant feel anything now.and she is now expecting and I’m afraid I’ll not get to know the new baby. I barely hear from or see them as it stands. I cry every day she was my lil girl n he was the reason I smiled.