Question: my husband and I have two kids together ages 1 and 3 years old, several months ago he and my parents had an argument with each other just over the simple fact they don’t like each other (no actual fight broke out just angry words being said to each other- they have an on and off again mutual relationship- we’ve been together for 6 yrs) since their arguments happened several months ago my husband has refused them to see our kids. I respected him long enough to not talk to my parents for so long, but recently I have reconnected with them, and every time I bring them up, he fights with me every time being completely unfair and wants me to have nothing to do with them anymore. I want the kids to see their grandparents. They’ve always been so good to them and helped us, and I miss them… so my question is, despite my husband, do I have any rights or say to let my folks see the kids again?
The beef is between him and them NOT you and them…they are your parents and if you can move on from whatever the issue was you should be allowed to do so. He doesnt have to participate. Now the only issue would be the issue itself, like if it was mistreatment of the kids or something like that.
I would offer up the compromise of he doesn’t have to have anything to do with but they’re your parents therefore you and your children will see them. I mean unless they badmouth him to the children or treat them badly there’s no reason for them not to see your kids because your husbands being childish
Don’t ever punish the children for the actions of the adults in their lives. As long as they are safe and happy when spending time with the grandparents, there is absolutely no reason why they should not be able to have a relationship.
Your husband needs to realize he cannot ruin relationships between family members simply because he does not like them. Its cruel to both the children, the grandparents and yourself.
the arguement is between the adults not the children. shouldnt keep the children away at all from their grandparents thats not fair on them or the grandparents. 
Myself personally would let them all know either get it together an be respectable for kids sake or go on about your business kids SHOULD NOT SUFFER bc grown folks cant keep there differences aside if the grand parents arent harmful hateful nor negligent to them your husband an yourself then they need put aside there feelings an big egos put your foot down
Yes,you have say,alot of it.
Is this a real question???
Let no person keep you or your children from people you love. He sounds very controlling.
Adult opinions should not be for children’s ears
If they have been loving parents to you and loving to their grandchildren then they should absolutely still be in their lives x
Children are not bargaining chips.
I would never keep my kids from seeing my parents just because of my spouse. If your parents are good people and wonderful to your children what does their argument with your husband have to do with the kids? Keep them out of adult problems.
He doesn’t have the right to keep the kids away. I rarely want to see my in laws, but I never deny them access to my kids.
You and your kids need to stay out of their situation, period.
He does not make the rules. He needs to be civil. Your parents can.be civil too. The kids are better off with more people to love them. Everyone needs to be kind.
Omg what is his problem? He doesn’t have to see them. That’s fine. But he can’t keep you and your kids from your family. That’s insane.
Do you have any rights? To let your parents see your own kids? Holy hell.
This is from personal experience! Take note! My parents and hubby had a fight. Huge fight. My parents were dead wrong! In every way. Absolutely refused to right their wrong. I tryed to be a supportive wife. I allowed my kids to be kept away from them. And I also stayed away. It was very justified! I wont go into details. But it could’ve been resolved differently! After 3 long years of no communication. The only call I got is when my Dad was dying!!! I rushed to be with him. And he held on for only 1 month in the hospital. He was too sick to ever speak about the incident, but I was able to tell him I love him and visit him until the moment I held him as he took his last breath (literally)
Girl, DON’T LET THIS BE YOU! YOU WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOURSELF! NEVER. YOU’LL NEVER FORGET… Unless people or children have been harmed (other than cross words or feelings) FIX IT! FIX IT… Nothing worth this.
Do not estrange from your parents because of your husband and for Heaven sake do not punish your children by refusing to let them see their grandparents. Children should never be used as a weapon to hurt others. Anyone who does so shows very narcissistic behavior. And shame on you if you allow it.
Do you live in the U.S?
get a backbone. your husband has no right to tell you not to speak to your parents, nor any right to say YOUR kids cannot see them. FFS. If it’s that much of a problem I’d think nothing of taking my kids, their stuff, my stuff and my butt to my parents home and leaving him. Something ain’t right here, and it’s HIM
I wouldn’t let my children around anyone who disrespected my husband, just like I would expect him to not let anyone around my children who disrespected me. You two need to be a unified team.
Of course. I suggest you have a talk with your husband and your parents and.tell them it’s not fair to the kids and that no more outbursts in front of the kids. Or they will not be allowed to see them. If you have a pastor discuss this with him. Good luck. I pray that God Blesses the situation.
Um, first and foremost he needs to realize those are babies and should NEVER be punished for adult issues. Secondly, he’s sounding real narcissistic if he’s getting mad you won’t isolate yourself from the people who gave you life and raised you.
He doesn’t have to be around your parents, but it’s not fair to your children to keep them from their grandparents.
If you want a happy marriage your spouse should come WAY ahead of your parents!
Imagine it was between you and your husband’s parents. How would you feel? What would you say or do? The children shouldn’t suffer the loss of support, but you need to take your partner’s feelings into consideration.
There has to be deeper things going on than just they don’t like each other. What is his reasons for keeping you and the kids from your family? Personally I will never allow my mother to meet my children because she is toxic. She will never be allowed to get close enough to treat them the way she has me!
what hind of husband would even ask this of his wife. the answer is yes they need their grandparents!!!
I would never deprive my kids of their grandparents… children are not pawns to get back at anyone… he doesn’t have to be there. But those are still their grandkids.
Of course you do. No matter who is mad at who they are still grandparents. He is punishing the kids to be mean. Not fair and they will always be your parents. If there is a problem between your husband and them it is their problem and you and the children should not be put in the middle.
Invite your parents over without telling hubby, grab the kids and a bottle of wine and go watch a movie, tell them to deal with this bs and grow up… all parts of family are important to kids. You however are Switzerland
You absolutely have rights! I wouldn’t get in-between your husband and parents fight, they all need to grow up and hash that out. But you and the kids can absolutely visit and spend time with your parents. Just make sure you make it clear you are Switzerland and are not on anyone’s side bc you love them all.
I can see why your parents don’t like him, he’s a CONTROLLING asshole. IDGAF how he feels about your parents. That has NOTHING to do with you and the kids. Not to mention you’re crazy as hell to let him come between you and your parents. What if something had happened to your parents during the time you weren’t speaking to them? Not only that you are depriving your kids of their grandparents love. Your husband sounds like a real piece of 
.
Tell him that he doesn’t have to be around them but your kids will be and if he doesn’t like it then he can go be miserable somewhere else. Just because he doesn’t like them doesn’t mean he has a right to keep your kids from them. He needs to grow up and get over it.
That’s ridiculous, your husband is being childish!! Your children benefit from grandparents!! I don’t see home he can prevent it!!
My husband cut his family off because of the way they treated me. I was happy for him to still see them and them to see the kids but he doesnt want them to. You both need to work together but they are still your parents and he shouldnt stop u seeing them
I allowed a man to keep me from my mom, two years not talking, I get a phone call from an aunt miles away that my mom needs me, I reconnect with her and she died 3 months later from cancer! Don’t stop your kids from seeing their grandparents. My kids were young and my daughter doesn’t even remember her and it breaks my heart.
Vyour hubby might like you only having you to himself no inlaws
Been here done this, my mom can’t stand my husband, BUTTTT she is very good to all 8 of my kids and as long as she doesn’t bad mouth him in front of them she will have a relationship with them. It’s stressful but it is what it is. I love my mom very much but until my husband said it was ok for them to see her I respected that. He got over it after a few months. And even though my hubby and mom don’t speak she still is a grandma, and everyone is cool. She stays in her lane he stays in his. A little grown up compromise
What is the fight about? They definitely need to respect your husband or you need to stand up for him. I don’t think kids should be held hostage but again it goes back to what it was about 
Absolutely. It’s not soley up to him. They are your parents. Maybe some family therapy? Your husband needs to accept the fact that they are the reason you are there, and your parents need to accept the fact that you married him.
Explain to him that if he doesn’t want to be around them, then that’s fine. But it’s not fair to ask you to isolate yourself and your children from them.
Yes you do. Don’t let him isolate you from your family. That’s not right.
They’re his children and he has just as much right to say who they can and cannot see as you do. If feel bad for you. 
Yes your husband should come before your parents. And if your parents has always been good parents to you and good grandparents let them be in your kids life. No your husband does not have to be around them. But he also should respect your wishes and make sure that you and your kids are happy. I think you need to sit down with your husband and talk to him. Don’t go behind his back and let your parents see your kids. As if you do it may cause more problems in your marriage then the fight between them.
You gotta solve the issue first. Youre probably the only one who can. Or will swallow pride long enough to attempt it.
Please please please ,see your perents ,dont mind him ,they were there before he came a long hun ,if anything ever happens to them ,you wont forgive yourself,if he loves you he should never make you do that and ,your kids need there grandkids too ,if he doesn’t want to talk to his parents ,thats his business ,I love mine with all.me heart ,and do anything for them 
If he is holding a grudge against your parents, let him hold it alone. He shouldn’t expect you to help him carry it. Those are your parents. Its selfish of him to try and isolate you and the kids from them. Those saying you should put his feelings into consideration… What of him putting your feelings into consideration? He expects you to throw years away of a relationship with your parents over a quarrel he had with your parents? He doesn’t have to see them, but trying to stop you and the kids from seeing them is unreasonable. Sounds like he has control issues. He is trying to use you and the kids to settle a score he has with them, through controlling you.
Sounds like your parents had a reason not to like him 
Of course you do, they’re your children too you can take them to see whoever you want. It’s not fair that you and your children have nothing to do with your parents just because your husband said so. It is 2019, your husbands word is not law
Umm, if my husband EVER tried to cut me off from my parents divorce papers would be filed. Sounds like he has some serious issues. Unless your parents are awful and you have no real relationship with them. My husband has always gone out of his way to be wonderful to my parents and they’ve opened their home to him just as lovingly. This seems off that they just flat out hate each other. The kids deserve to have their grandparents in their life.
They’re your kids too. Unless they did something really harmful, there’s nothing wrong with you talking to them or allowing them around your kids. If he wants to cut them off , he can avoid them on his own.
Yes u do!!! Your kids have nothing to do with your husband and parents not getting along
You have every right to see your family and to have your kids know them. Its not the kids fault your man and parents had a fight, and its not ur fault either. He doesnt have to go with you guys to see them and he has no right to keep ur family parted.
Yes you do,and i think your husband is being childish,and spiteful not to want the kids see their grandparents. Do they get to see his parents?
See your parents. Let the kids see them. But don’t force your husband to be arounr them. And don’t let them bad talk it.
It’s not right or fair of him to expect you to keep yourself or your kids away because his feelings are hurt.
- Isolating someone from their own family is not okay and it’s actually a form of abuse.
- If he doesn’t want to talk to your parents that fine. He can stay home while you see your parents with your kids.
I would talk to him about how this argument in between your parents and your husband is effecting you.
He should not be able to tell you who you can and cant see (esp your parents) but as long as there isnt a safty or health reason your kids shouldnt see your parents he should work something out with you about them seeing him. But also you cant make him have a relationship with your parents either.
Yep but not behind his back. Let him know they are your family and they will see your kids.
Keep the kids out of the fight…that’s not fair…my brother and I said some pretty mean stuff to eachother and didn’t speak for 3 years …but he still seen my kids and I still seen his and if any of us wanted to have them for the day or whatever it didn’t matter we still did…we just didn’t speak…thankfully we put it behind us and realize we both said hoarse things and it’s not worth fighting over…at the end of the day FAMILY IS EVERYTHING
As long as your parents aren’t telling you kids bad things about your husband or making comments in front of them (which is what I would be concerned about), I’d still have them involved with the kids. As someone else here said isolating someone from their family is abuse and something a lot of narcissistic people do.
Yes. He doesn’t have to see them but he can’t demand that you or the kids don’t. As long as they are not a danger or bad influence on them.
So have you tried to view it from his POV? His parents don’t like to you, haven’t for years, and you don’t like them either, you’ve had words with them and the relationship ends with them. Then all of a sudden he is talking and seeing his parents again. How would you feel? Would you feel like your partner doesn’t have your back?
Unless your parents are abusive to you or the children, then please let them see their grandparents. It’s beneficial to everyone’s mental Health. Please see a therapist and learn to communicate your needs with him and vice versa. However, if they are constantly running your husband down to your kids or yourself, you need to stand up for him. He is your husband, and you two need to stand together.
He and your parents need to mend fences. It is not fair to either the children or grandparents to not be able to communicate It also disrupts things between the husband and wife. The children grow up so fast. Try to get counseling.
He doesn’t have to see them but can’t and shouldn’t deny you and the kids from seeing them.
Prayers Yes you do . Cherish every moment with your parents . Because one day they will be gone and you will regret it .
You have all the right in the world. Sins of the father and grandparents visited on the kids is a lose lose situation. You cant play chess with the kids in order to Check Mate each other.
People should learn to get along, at least for the kids sake. All it does is make them suffer and that’s not fair.
I think you be involved with your parents if they didn’t hurt you or those babies. Think this way… if they die tomorrow, how are you going to feel? That might be harsh to say but the truth.
These children have every right to see there grand parents. Words between them is just that. This is his attempt at punishing the grandparents. Tell him to grow up and quit punishing his children. Good luck and God bless
Yes they need grandparents…blood is will there for you remember that.
Regardless, ain’t no one keepinf my kids from my parents or anyone in their family. Even my own feelings towards someone, they’ll still see me kids. Because my kids deserve to know their family. I’d love for my husband to try to tell me my kids couldn’t see my parents lol. Even when I was with my abusive ex, and he was mad at his mom and didn’t want her seeing them over his b.s. I wouldn’t stop her from seeing them. Yes your new family is your family now. Your husband is your number 1. But he should never isolate you from your parents. Nor keep your children from knowing their grandparents. No matter what. You’re kids deserve to ha e their grandparents in their lives. They did nothing wrong. And having them takin away, only hurts them and confuses them cause they don’t know why. That only makes your husband controlling. He married you. Spouses and in laws don’t always get a long. But they shouldn’t isolate and force you to choose them completely and cut your own parents completely out of your life and your kids. If he doesn’t wanna be around your parents that’s fine. See them without him. Take the kids to see them without him.
Depends what it’s about id say!
I have my husbands back and he has mine. I stopped contact with my parents for about a year because they didn’t like him and accept him, and he would do the same for me. Put just as much blame on your parents as you put on him for this whole situation instead of just complaining that he doesn’t want them to see his kids.
If his parents didn’t like you, and you had arguments, would you want them seeing your kids?
He is using the kids to hurt your parents. That’s not fair to the kids. So unless your parents harm the kids in any way you should continue to have a relationship with your parents. He doesn’t have to participate in the activities but he needs to learn to be civil because there are holidays and family functions that you’ll not want to miss. If you cut your self off from your family you will resent him sooner then later and that could have a very serious negative affect on your marriage. Good luck. Think about what would be best for the kids and you. He’ll just have to grow up. And dont forget to tell your parents to calm down on the disagreements.
I don’t talk to my brother. But he still sees my kids whenever my mom has them. And we don’t get a long at all. My abusive ex, him and his mom don’t even speak anymore, so his girlfriend isn’t allowed to talk to her eithwr so she can’t even see his daughter. But she sees our boys. Because I let her. My ex was and is an abusive controlling narcissist.
I would like more details about the cotext if the repeated arguing. Are your parents out if line in any way? Or is your husband ? Does your husband treat you and the kids well? Does your husband have a job and provide? I’d say if it’s just a personality conflict then the three of them need to be grown ups and they need to apologize to each other and maybe work out their differences away from the kids and maybe in a public place so that it is easier for people to be civil in public. If they can’t work out their differences as long as your parents are treating you and your kids appropriately ( including not saying anything negative to them about their father or to you about your husband) then if he is keeping any of y’all from your parents then that is abusive my ex purposely did that to me and my family and then the mental and physical abuse started I’m not saying that’s what your husband’s intentions are but it’s wrong of him to want you and your children to not be a part of their lives it’s your parents and their grandparents and if everyone can’t be grown ups and get along then you should take the kids and visit your parents without him.
They’re your kids… You don’t let them suffer cuz he can’t put his big boy pants on
I feel like there’s a chunk missing. We may not always get along, but the kids always come first. I’ll never withhold my kids from someone, unless it’s their livelihood or safety.
Children should never be stuck in the middle of adult fighting and used as a weapon that’s b*******
The grandparents have the right to see their grandkids. Tell him time to get over and forgive and forget. Life is too short for petty bs.
Oh course you do children need their grandparents
Keeping people who love your kids away from them when they’ve never done anything to hurt the kids is only going to hurt the kids in the long run. Tell your husband to forgive and be civil because one day the kids wont have any grandparents but they could have beautiful memories with them.
Does he keep his mouth shut when they help you guys? If yes, tell him swallow his pride & keep his mouth shut on having your parents in your life & the lives of your kids. I wouldn’t even make it an argument or discussion.
You and your kids should be able to see your parents. Your husband and parents should put there differences aside for the kids. No they dont have to act like they are best friends when/if they see each other but at least a hi how are you should be fine. The kids or you shouldn’t have to suffer just bc they dont like each other. It’s crazy to think someone would keep their grandkids away from their grandparents just bc they dont like them. Its unfair for the kids too bc I’m sure they(and you) miss their grandparents just as much as the grandparents miss them and you.
Whatever beef is between him and your parents is NOT between them and the grandkids. It is not fair to punish the children and take away the relationship with their grandparents because adults can’t be adults. Tell everyone to grow up and handle their ish because the kids are now getting caught up in the drama and you won’t stand for it. Your children are not pawns.
You absolutely have every right to let YOUR PARENTS see YOUR kids. I would also suggest getting into counseling and leaving your husband he sounds controlling and abusive
Since u don’t want to be the middle person and u think the kids should have a relationship with ur parents … get ur parents to go for grandparent rights
Yes it’s not the kids fault they should be able to see there grandparents those kids might dislike him when they get older he better think about that
My husband and my mum had a huge falling out! Naturally, I sided with my husband and focused on our family!! But he saw how upset I was without my mum and the kids their granny so he encouraged me to build bridges with her so me and the kids could see her but he himself had nothing to do with her! We would visit her during the day while he was at work etc! And he always smiled along and laughed when then the kids told him what they did at granny’s!! After a few years of this my mum out of nowhere turned up and while not exactly apologising for what happened… She said she could see now from the otherside how happy our family was and that he was a good man and she was grateful he put me and kids before their problems!! …He took the compliment with good grace! They do not like each other and It’s still quite strained between them (and probably always will be) but at least they can be civil around each other now for family events etc … And as the kids get older they dont even really realise there is any issue!! They just feel loved by everyone!! Xx
Talk to hubby and find a legitimate answer of why he refuses your kids to have a connection with their grandparents. Don’t give him the opportunity to control you like that.
Of course you have rights. Separating grandparents from kids is unjustified unless there is a danger. What on earth was said to make him so mad. Make arrangements so they can get together without your husband. Better yet, get some counseling so your husband thinks he can’t stand them ever! For a family to be frank turd like this is a tragedy.
Need to know more if they are disrespectful to him or something like that you should stick by him but if it is him he will have to respect your you and your parents.
I dont think neither the parents or rhe spouse “come before” the other. Both hold very special but very seperare parts of your life and heart. The way I look at this is, first and foremost it is very very disrespectful that the husband would engage in any type of yelling or fight with the parents…nothing justifies that. My husband would never never get into such a situatuon with my parents if anything he would walk away. He would never let it get that far. Then secondly the husband is acting as a offended teenager. How immature to expect somebody to cut comminication with their own parents due to their inept inability to calmly resolve a sitation. He is basially isolating his family and he sees no problem with this. He doesn’t sound like a very stand up guy and the fact that this woman is so scared that she feels the need to question if she can take her kids to see her parents or not, to me shows that shes probably neen mentally absused by this man. Some of you are failing to see the bigger picture and the small writing in between the lines.
Of course that’s your parents and there grandkids. He doesn’t need to see them.
It is the kids that get hurt in the long run doing this. At one time over a disagreement over siblings my son did this to me with his kids though his wife did not agree to it, They would cry to come see their Grandparents. It lasted about a year before he realized the pain to his kids and the dispute was not worth it. KIDS should NEVER be used a pawn in any matters. Plus he should not ask his wife to never see her parents, it hurts her in the long run also. He’s punishing them more than her parents by doing this.
Not sure why you joined in the malice if your parents to appease your husband. How are you teaching you children to deal with conflicts? Isolation is a tac5ic of abusers
Also, you need tonsp3aknup and say to your husband that your parents have been good to him, his children and raised you and you will not sperate your family for disagreements
I would remind of the help and a s a commenter above said why is he not quiet when receiving help
Stop consenting, accepting, condoning the disrespect of.your parents by your husband. They can agree to disagree or not discuss certain topics but the malice, and bad mind is not okay.