What should I do about a loan to a friend?

I am a single mom and a friend was going through a divorce his wife kicked him out Needed this for a new apartment this was Almost 6 months ago he borrowed money approx $400 ans has still yet to pay me back but he goes out all the time has a good job randomly hooks up and takes girls out he’s not responsible and has completely dropped me as a friend not paid me back what should I do ?? I’ve asked for it back nicely he says he hasn’t forgotten but I’m sick of waiting ..Please keep my name anonymous
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The fact that you say he’s basically no longer a friend already says what he intends on doing. He’s gonna choose not to pay you back and lose the friendship if need be.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What should I do about a loan to a friend? - Mamas Uncut

Stop being nice and call him out on it.

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If he dropped you as a friend then it’s ok to get rude and demand the money back

Just right it off.Your never getting your money.Chose your friends wisely. I’m sure after this incident you won’t lend money out anymore. No matter wt sad story they tell you.i learned the hard way.

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Take it as a lesson learned.

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Judge Judy says never loan money you can’t afford to not get back… if you loan money to a friend be prepared to either lose the money or the friendship.
I will “loan” money to friends that if they can’t pay me back, the friendship is worth more❤️

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Next time you loan money to anybody, use a Check instead of giving them cash.

Take that $400 as a lesson learned on exactly how much he valued your friendship, and to see the real him while getting a fake friend out of your life for good.

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Set up weekly or monthly payments get it in writing or even text. If needed you can go to small claims court but that would most likely end the friendship. You basically have to decided if you want your money or “friend”.

Never loan to friends. And if you do, write up a contract.

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This why if you give money to some one you get them to sign off say you give the money back in 4 weeks or 6 weeks . If he true friend he will pay you back. Let him know that was money to bring up your kids or rent or food. Call him or face to face is best :ok_hand: good luck hun

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Tell him you need it now and he has 30 days to pay it. Leave it simple as that

Ask him one more time. If he is not forthcoming, cut your loses and move on. He seems not to value your friendship. In future, decide whether to lend money to friends or just give. A lesson learnt. Godspeed to you :pray:

Tell him now your going through a rough patch and the money he borrowed would really come in handy right about now. Play his game right back. If he doesn’t care and want to “help” you out then you have a couple choices, 1- being to cut your losses. 2- keep bugging him until you get your money back. Or 3- file with small claims.

Hopefully your friend does the right thing.

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Put him on blast publicly. :sunglasses:

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I always write up something an have them sign it saying they will pay it back I was burned to many times.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What should I do about a loan to a friend? - Mamas Uncut

Friends and family give it with the knowing you may Not get it back. Its not worth the loss of family or friendship

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Consider it gone. Let this be a lesson you never let family or friends borrow money. It’s not worth the headaches. And this is the best way to ruin any friendship. I would try asking again and this time saying, “I need it by this date” Hope you get your money back.

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My parents taught me to only loan money if I’m ok with not getting it back. You have to decide weather it’s worth losing a friendship over.

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Do people not learn punctuation these days. I can’t read things properly without full stops and commas etc

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Consider yourself lucky that he does not talk to you anymore. He doesn’t seem like a good person he sounds like a user. You probably save yourself a lot of grief 400$ is a nice chunk of change but it a small price to pay to get rid of a jerk.

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I’d wrap it up as a lesson learned. I had to learn the hard way also with $ 1000. If he has already gave your friendship up don’t plan on it. It sucks and hurts people would do that but it’s reality.

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Its always good to get a set payment pay back date from the beginning. You pay me by February 1st thing etc. Although I’ve never done it and never once been paid back by a friend whose borrowed money. And those friends are no longer my friends.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What should I do about a loan to a friend? - Mamas Uncut

Chalk it up as a learning experience.

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You’re a good friend lending money, but i have learnt, only ever lend an amount of money that you can cope with, if it doesn’t come back. He’s being very irresponsible by not paying it back, for whatever reason.

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Swing by his job or out in public with his friends and mention the debt. He already dropped you as a friend, least you can do is nonchalantly let his other friends and such know his true character

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Demand your money back. Tell him you’ve given him more than enough time to pay it back and you need it. Also, next time he’s in a bind, tell him no.

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Ya been there done that. Learned only loan money you dont need or expect back. Sorry for your loss of money and a friend

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Should have written up a contract or put it in writing!

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Too common a story :face_with_symbols_over_mouth:. Feel for you

Ive alwaya said dont loan money out unless your okay with not getting it back; i hope this is a lesson for the future. On that note, i would DEMAND it back and of he still doesnt do it, cut hum out of your life.

Go to his work place n tell them he owes you money he borrowed n hasn’t paid it back yet n have interest added on to it n garnish his wages to dnt play games he’s playing you for a sucker

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What should I do about a loan to a friend? - Mamas Uncut

Drop him as a friend and take it as a loss and lesson learned.

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I’m nothing you can do unless there’s a written contract saying he will pay you back

Write it off as a loss. He has zero intentions of paying you back. Also write him off as a friend.

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Rule of thumb. If you can’t afford to lose it, don’t lend it…I learned this the hard way also.

Don’t ask, tell him. Sometimes we forget not everything requires sunshine and daisy’s. Sometimes you gotta be a bitch to get things done. If he doesn’t give it back then either write it off or go file in small claims court.

Two things you can do, small claims court or write this off as a lesson to not let people borrow money that you can’t afford not to receive back.
People will not always have the same heart and convictions as you. If you give, please give with the discernment you might not ever receive it in return.

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Stop asking for it back and tell him you need it back.

Tell him you need it by a certain date of he doesn’t pay take him to court. It will be on his credit report as a public records until n he pays

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400 is not worth going to court for (in my opinion), take it as a lesson learned…he wasnt your friend!

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it’s not worth taking him to court. Take it as a lesson, you should never loan out money you “need” because of situations like this. :pensive: sorry people are shitty

This is why I never let anyone, other than immediate family, borrow money.

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He never intended on paying you back. He was using you from the beginning. I’d make sure everyone knows that he refuses to repay you back so it doesn’t happen to them. Unfortunately all you can do is take him to small claims court. It’ll cost you court costs. Even with a judgement in your favor there’s no consequences to him if he doesn’t pay. I learned this the hard way.

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You a woman, lent a married man money while going through a divorce? Did he also say you could come over and yall can hang out??? :joy::joy::joy: You played yourself playing with married folk. Unless your friend is an only child, this loss of 400 bucks is karma honey. No wonder he divorced. He just got women ready to help him at the drop of a hat. :joy::joy::joy:

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Never loan money that you can’t afford to get back. It’s an expensive lesson learned.

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Small claims or request payments vs the full amount.

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You just paid 400 to lose a friend you lost the money and him

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It happened to me once about 500-600 too & I just dropped that friend and I saw him a couple years ago and he tried to talk to me n I completely shut him down n reminded him he wasn’t my friend cause his debt wasn’t too paid. He was like times are hard n what not. I walked away and moved on.
Sometimes you just got to let it go

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As a general rule I dont loan out money to people. If I have the money to give then I will. That way I’m never dissapointed if they don’t pay it back and if they do then that’s a nice surprise.
If I were to break my own rule and loan money then I would get everything in writing with a timeline.
Id count this one as a loss and remember for next time.

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Judge Judy or Judge Milian!

Maybe say you had an emergency come up and need that money and see if that will put a fire under him. If not call him out that he is taking girls out and shit…orrr get him on a payment plan that might help. If not small claims court. 400 is alot of money to me so yeah lol

He’s not going to pay you back no matter how many times you ask. You will have to cut your losses, or take him to small claims, thought it may not be worth it depending on fees.

Tell him to pay the money back by a certain date or you’re taking him to court.

Sounds like he has no intention of paying you back. Really sorry you are experiencing this. I too have been in this position and moving forward I told myself if I ever was going to help someone financially I’d do with the intention of not getting it back, even if they say they are(:roll_eyes:) Again, sorry you are going through this. He is not your friend.

Happened to me I just wrote it off as a loss can’t keep worrying about it anymore.and I’m still friends but there won’t be anymore loans

He was never a friend! Pray about it and let it be! Stop calling or trying to be in contact with him! You deserve better! Divorce didnt make him humble you won’t either!

Im afraid everyone is probably right. You may as well have kissed that $400 goodbye. I loaned my neighbor $1500. And waited and waited ended up taking her to small claims court for it…she filed bankruptcy on me. Needless to say it was really hard being neighbors in an apartment complex from then on. And our front doors are across from each other.

Never lend money that you can’t afford to lose. If you need it that bad and want to make a point then take him to small claims court. Bring text messages as evidence.

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Court. He’s not going 2 pay u back his priorities are not there.

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Tell him you want your money because you have kids that need food and stuff.

That’s why he dropped you as a friend. So he doesn’t have to pay it back

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Consider it a gift to him. You’re not getting the money back. If he ask for more money tell him the bank is closed.

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$400 is a small price to pay to find out what kind of man he is an will always be. Chalk it up to a bad investment and move on, some lessons are expensive to learn, sit back n watch his karma come back on him while your over there getting blessed!

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I have a nephew just like that if u cant pay it back dont borrow it !

To accept money from a single mother (that likely needs it more than he does) and not even attempt to pay you back, even in small increments, speaks volumes about his character. I don’t think you’re ever seeing that money again. Buuuuut… you might try guilting him into paying you back with a sob story about not being able to afford groceries, medications, or Christmas presents for your kids. :woman_shrugging: Worth a try.

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I would tell him a specific date you need the money back. Ie, “hey, the $400 I let you borrow was my Christmas and Thanksgiving money for my kids, I need it back by November 12th” if that doesn’t work, you could try small claims court :woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging: good luck, loaning money to friends is tricky. I have been burned for amounts up to $700. I’ve learned to never loan a cent unless I’m ok never seeing it again.

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He’s not intending to pay you back . Never lend money to a “friend”.

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Ask one more time via text or email and give him a day or two. If he doesn’t make arrangements to pay it back, blast him to everyone that knows both of you so someone else won’t fall for his scheming.

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What’s that saying, never lend money unless your ok with not getting it back? Unfortunately he has no intentions of repaying you and likely won’t at any point. Consider him no longer a friend.

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Always put money agreements in writing and have it notarized

Can see why he’s divorced

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The first rule of loaning money to a friend is to decide how important your friendship is and how important that money is vs the friendship. Never loan anyone, friends or family more money that you can afford to never see again, and never loan anyone money without making them sign something about how and when it is to be repaid. Verbal agreements are garbage. EDIT… Also stop being a door mat, straight up ask him for the money you loaned him. If you aren’t adult enough to ask for your money back then you weren’t adult enough to be loaning money. Grow up.

I found out the hard way not to loan money to friends. I got stiffed for 1500.00

my motto is if the word borrow is in there consider it a gift before you give it because more than likely you wont see it again but your options are slim either tell him you have to have it you need it or let him know you have no choice but to civil sue him because you have to pay your rent too, and p.s. friends are few a far so he never was a true friend just an aquaintence who needed money and you were the kind soul that helped, something good will come your way down the road when you least expect it, for your mental health you may just want to call it a lesson learned and dont make yourself crazy over it but if you cant get a civil suit filed that should scare him in to payment, good luck

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Ask him to bring you some money cause you got a bill to pay by a certain date. Or better yet tell him you are dropping by to pick up some or all of it.

Court he’s not much of a friend.

Tell him he didn’t wait for the loan so you don’t want to wait on getting it back.

When you loan money, consider it a gift. If you get it back, that’s a true person/friend that actually appreciates you and deserves you. If you don’t- that’s where the gift comes in. I’d rather be out $400 then have a fake friend. NOW you KNOW what the person is. Knowing a person is not a true friend is the GIFT.

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Can I borrow some money :deer:its hunting season

Just be like dude holidays are coming up I would like my money back ASAP even if it’s in weekly or biweekly payments

When loaning $ to friends and family, expect to get nothing in return. Only give amounts that you are willing to never get back.

Yeah well u probably ain’t getting that money back, unless u take drastic measures (like making a small scene at his work). U were a good friend to him, but he seems a shitty friend to! Hell, I’d post it to - don’t let so and so borrow money bc he will not pay it back. And that’s not slander bc it’s obviously true. May this be a lesson to u. Handle ur own shit, let ppl struggle. I’m left wondering if the wife got sick of his shit and gave him the boot. :woman_shrugging:

Your screwed you have nothing in writing. I feel 4 ya but your out the money

Go after his ass…probably getting money out of the females too he is taking out!

It’s just money. I’m betting he’ll pay you eventually. It’s not worth losing a friend over.

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I had a friend bring my jeep back with a broken windshield approximately $600 after installation. I asked him about a few time but after he didn’t take responsibility for it I told him he was no longer welcome in my home. Haven’t talked to him since managed to fix my own windshield. Lesson learned.

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There is one way you will get something back from him: let him go. He is a mess now, and you don’t need to get in deeper. You are out $400. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson!! We have all been there. Say this to yourself if anyone asks for money again: Charity begins at home.

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Friends and loaned money…not a good mix.
Keep after him…ask for 50.00 a week…or whatever he can afford and tell him you need it!
You helped him out, now man up

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Unless you have something in writing where you both signed it, I don’t know if there’s much you can do.
I would write it off as a loss and never talk to them again. It’s a lesson learned and a sucky one but at least you know now.

It is probably gone but there is nothing wrong with staying on him about it.

You don’t lend money, you give it. Learn your lesson and keep it movin!

Count as a loss and move on, but now you know

Move on a true friend would pay you back. My mother always said never be a lender or a borrower.

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Small claims if you have proof