Hey, mama, 's I need some advice on my five-year-old. He just doesn’t seem to want to listen at all. My husband and I have taken toys away; we have taken games away. We have done time out, and we have even spanked him. Nothing seems to work. We can’t even take him anywhere without him acting out. We have talked to him. I don’t know how many times about how he needs to listen to us and a family member that watches him for us while we are at work. This has gone on for a while now, even before everyone needed to be quarantined. Please I just need some advice on how to handle my five years old, and by the way, he is an only child, and he is great at school no problems with listing to his teachers
My son is the same!! Idk what to do anymore !! So I’m following this for some advice as well!!
My daughter is the same way!!!
Maybe check with the doctor and see if there is something underlining. Our son was the same way. He was diagnosed with ODD
Maybe try therapy sometimes kids need someone they can talk to or someone who can see outside the box and find a solution to the deeper issues
Maybe have him earn things for appropriate behavior. Start with small time increments and reward often. Then you can gradually lengthen the time between rewards.
I have got the same exact problem with my son. It’s like you are speaking about my child. I’ve learned that my little man was just seeking my attention. I’ve been spending more quality time with him, and talking to him about what’s going on and why he does/says the things he does. Just spending time with him has been helping it seems. Other than that I’ve tried everything to discipline him and nothing seemed to work.
Check out super nanny on you tube- it works if you put in the work.
Look into Supernanny
She has a tv show. & she does amazing her techniques work
My son is exactly the same, and he’ll be 6 in November. Its super frustrating, because its like he’s intentionally ignoring me and his father.
I would definitely suggest a child therapist or psychologist. Sometimes we need extra reinforcements. We went through a similar situation with my son at that age with temper tantrums and inappropriate outbursts and defiant behavior…turns out he has Autism Spectrum Disorder. He is now a much more happy healthy boy🥰
Are there distractions at home? Turn off all tvs, phones, ipads and focus on fun activities between the two of you. Crafts, stories, building toys, learning to do household chores etc. If he can listen at school, then he can do it at home.
Mine was the same. He’s now 8 and still trying to learn how to control his emotions. Consistence is what worked. Don’t scream when he’s in trouble. Tell him “I’ll talk to you when you’re done throwing a fit” or something like that. Then calmly explain that you understand why he’s angry, sad, etc. but that’s no reason to freak out. I tell my son to take a deep breath and think before he freaks out, and then if he can’t control it just “I’m too mad right now to talk” or just that he doesn’t want to be talked to or whatever, but if he throws things or starts freaking then that’s when he gets more in trouble.
He can sit in his room with absolutely nothing. Don’t let him have the privilege of going out (sucks for you but gotta do what you gotta do if you’re actually serious), snacks, anything. Consistency is the biggest key. He won’t like having absolutely nothing and being so damn bored all the time. Fair warning, it might take awhile. The second you give in, you lost and he won. So DONT GIVE INTO ANYYYTHIIING
What exactly is he doing? Are you consistent with discipline and the rules, trying something for a week and then something else the next week isn’t going to work. Clearly he knows how to behave and control himself since he’s doing it at school. He’s seeking attention and acting out negatively seems to be the ticket with you. Try pointing out all the good things that you see when you’re with him and not give tons of attention when he misbehaved. What I mean is when he misbehaves you punish and have talks with him which gives him a lot of attention, but do you give him the same amount of energy and attention when he does something good or just in general?
Positive reinforcement. Check out books on parenting strong willed children. It’s all attention seeking so you have to work to give attention during positive moments so he doesn’t seek attention for negative.
Hey! My husband and I just actually read this book called “1-2-3 magic” legit life changing. Same issues as you (and more because we have 3 kiddos). Seriously give it a try. When you’re reading you’ll think omg this is ridiculous, because it sounds that way…but we’ve been implementing it for about 2 weeks now and neither one of us have had to raise our voices at all. Things flow smoother. NO GETTING OUT OF BED 274628282728 times a night.
Get him assessed by a professional instead of Facebook doctors
Ya give him a pill or take him to a doctor you know there’s something Rong with him! Ya he’s a brat dill with it you done it to him
Sounds like my son. Hes diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. The only thing that helped him was medication unfortunately😔I’d say see a pediatrician. Dont wait either. We waited too long and my son ended up in the hospital restrained to a bed😭hes 6. It was the worst day of my life.
Since he seems to be able to behave at school, maybe he needs more structure and less free time at home. Make a schedule for him. That way he knows what he’s supposed to be doing. Will take some time to adjust and get into routine. I had three littles (all grown with littles of their own) and when they didn’t know what they were supposed to be doing is when they acted up the most. I kept them on a strict schedule keeping them busy. Make a chart. Free time, reading time, t.v time, game time, learning activity, chores etc. .if you’re able to be home with him let him help with housework and and (age appropriate)meal prep. This way he has more of your positive attention and his “free time” has structure. Good luck.
Maybe something else going on… kids are pleasers and want to do good… sometimes bad attention is better than no attention:/ good luck mama…
I have 6 kiddos and 4 have sensory disorders and it can be challenging until you learn about it…
Could be acting out for your attention , and he knows bad behavior will get it
My son’s therapist has me carrying around this small mat for my son. Legit no matter where we are he gets one warning then it’s time out. Grocery store, park, friends, wherever. No communication at all during the time. He’s 3 so he gets 3 minutes. If he doesn’t stay there I hold him there. Seems to be working
See your pediatrician. Sounds like my kid, and she was diagnosed with ADHD
Following because SAME
Ok my daughter is the same way she has adhd and what I like to call selective hearing she is the smartest kid in school but does not listen at home. Social butterflies are different but amazing kids! I get her to listen “sometimes” with positive rewards, negative things don’t do anything for her.
Same here. He gets the best reports from pre k. Almost like they dont believe me when I tell them things. I mean they do but its surprise to them almost. I have told myself it’s because I am his safe place. I’m ok with that as long as he knows how to act in public and at school. I have had to be more consistent at home in what I say and mean it. Seems to help
Omg I’m so glad this is not just my 5 year old hes such a pain at times for not listening think he knows best sorry I have no solution for you. We are hoping it’s a faze and he will grow out of it soon xx
Possibly because at school instead of punishing undesirable behaviour, they go out of their way to keep the reprimands short and sweet and in turn re-inforce desirable behaviour. Focus on the positive for a week, and ignore the bad (as long as he is safe). Ask his opinion and give options for good behaviour instead of telling him no. Ex: left to himself you know he will find mischief, so redirect before he can even start and suggest several approved play methods then praise his good choice. If he finds mischief remind him of his good choice and much you preferred it without even mentioning the mischief so he can redirect back to it.
From my experience…my 5 year old started out like this. I overlooked it due to the fact their dad and I were going through a split etc…he was diagnosed with ODD and ADHD. Seeing a therapist and having his meds makes a hugeee difference in his behavior at home and at school.
Kids will push their parents further than anyone else. They will constantly test you. Also, one thing I noticed once my kids started school, they work so hard to behave that they need a release when they get home. Especially boys, especially if they are high energy. So it boils down to giving him an opportunity to burn off energy, and consistency with discipline on your part ALL THE TIME.
My child had issues at 4. Never in my life would I had ever thought such a thing. At 14, her father committed her and we found out she had 5 mental disorders. All that time I just thought she was a drama queen!
Well the poor little darling has two sets of rules in his life . Mum and dads and the sitters , at such a young age
Who is the family that watches your son? Start there and hold him and let him tell you how his day was and you’ll be surprised what he night say. But let him tell you - no questions asked ccv
It’s a phase. And kids are feeling us out.
So hard mama! When a child acts out it’s generally from an underlying issue of not feeling heard. Talking to a child is different than talking at a child. I would suggest talking to a therapist or educator to see if there’s a solution. Honestly, sometimes just remembering that they could be upset about something else is important. Kids generally take out frustrations of their day on the ones they feel the most safe with. Hang in there mama!
How much screen time does he get? I had to cut my daughters screen time down to 30 minutes a day and have seen a huge change in her behavior.
First thing I would do is speak to your child’s doctor. There are a variety of reasons that could cause this type of behavior. Identifying them will help you better understand how to approach correcting his behavior.
A fairly universal approach is a fairly strict economy rewards system. Have him earn privileges through good behaviors rather than takin them away for bad behavior. Essentially the consequences are the same but the wording is much more positive and much more encouraging
Throw the whole kid away and start over??
I’ve been dealing with similar issues with my son. I decided it was time to lay down some house rules and help him understand how to Express his emotions better. I made a Mood chart (I’ll post pic of it) and I encourage him to tell me which face he is on the chart. I also am making a Chore chart. If he wants any kind of tablet/T.V/video game time, he must earn it by helping around the house and behaving.
Sometimes kids act out because they are lacking one on one attention. Any attention is better than no attention in their eyes.
Try using positive reinforcement. It works wonders. If you see your child doing something right , tell them and praise them. When you tuck them in at night, remind them that you are proud that they did xyz and that you loved seeing that. Have routines and stick to them. Kids thrive on routines.
My kid is 6, she same way, come to find out she has all kinds of sensory problems. She started occupational therapy been in that once week for about a month. I already see a change in her behavior
I definitely understand what you are going through ! My son is the baby he isn’t the only child but he is out of control he tells everyone what to do and pitches a fit if they don’t do it ! I even had a problem with him at school when he has to do what he is told and don’t want to do it he has kicked the teacher before !! He doesn’t have patience at all !! He gets upset at the smallest things ! I’m 47 and he is 5 and he definitely keeps me on my toes ! He keeps me upset because he don’t listen !!