I apologize in advance for the length of this post. I would just like some outsider advice… Starting in July of 2021, I started talking to a guy (let’s call him John) … well we were in the ‘talking stage’ went out on one date, talked for a few more weeks and then he basically ghosted me. (His reason today for this is that he knew he had nothing to offer me, and I wouldn’t want him). I’m a female in my twenties, I have a good job, my own house, I am in college, and I do not have any kids. Now keep in mind that we went to high school together and have grown up around the same crowd. He has been single for nearly three years, except for a fling that only lasted two months, shortly prior to me coming along. Well, skip ahead a few months after we are officially dating, my intuition kept telling me that he was hiding something… the things he would tell me just did not add up, and he always came up with things at the top of his head. Like the people we would go see were for him to ‘collect his money that he had loaned them however many days prior.’ Well, I finally figured out that he is an addict. Well, he has been sober since the end of 2021. I didn’t get to see him much and honestly it had gotten to the point to where I couldn’t stand him and didn’t even want to be around him. So I ended things in January and for the most part, we didn’t have any contact. I even deleted him and blocked him on all social media… We eventually start talking again and this time things are going great. He hasn’t been as needy and smothering as before, and it seems like he had accepted the things I told him and had changed a little, for the better. Well here recently, I have been having a very hard time trusting him, with infidelity and the pill issue… Within the past month, we had a really bad couple of days… And I mean, I cried more each day and when he seen me crying, he did absolutely nothing to try to resolve the issue. He manipulated me every time he opened his mouth, and gaslighted me twice as bad. I felt like I was walking on eggshells, and as soon as his mood would improve, it’s like the flip of a switch and he was mad again. I wanted him to hit me so that I could have a reason for him to leave. He lives with me, he has nowhere to go, he does not have a vehicle, but he does have income and somewhat contributes to the household financially. I know that it is not my responsibility that he has somewhere to sleep and a way to get there, but I feel bad because I am tender hearted. My brother and SIL do not like him at all for me. (The three of us are VERY close, and their opinion weighs heavily on me.) I know I deserve better than he has ever given me and better than what he is currently giving me. I have been in a DV relationship and alienated from my family, and I feel that this relationship is going down the same road. But I am trying not to compare my current relationship to my pasts.