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QUESTION:
"My son turned 18 last July,he got his driver’s license the end of August,and started his first job a week later…He started dating someone that he works with not long after he started his job…I have no problem with him having a girlfriend,but the thing is she is 37…I have no problem with age diffrence,but with him being so young I do have my concerns…He is,and has always been a very kindhearted young man,and people tend to use him…I’m not saying this girl is,but I do have my concerns…She seems nice,but I just don’t know…I do not fuss at him about this…I don’t want to push him away…I know his heart,but not sure about hers"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"Have a very serious talk about the power dynamics between a newly 18 year old and someone seasoned in life. Make sure he knows the potential for something bad. Thats all you can do."
"Why would a 37 year old want to date a 18 year old is beyond me. I would question her more then your son"
"He is 18, unfortunately not much you can do. I would not express your concerns to your son as a I fear the more you bring concerns to him the more it’s going to push him to her. I’d try to get to know her and be there for him when he comes to his senses"
"Sounds a bit groomer-ish to me. Aint no grown as woman want a child thats 18 and doesnt know shit about life."
"I get the concern, but he’s 18. The most you could do is tell him that they may some issues because of the age gap, but you gotta let him figure out life. Get to know her, and learn to accept that your son might just have a thing for older women. If there’s a life lesson for him to learn, let him learn it but be there if he needs you."
"You can tell him your concerns but he is 18 at the end of the day."
"At the end of the day, he’s an adult so you can’t pick and choose what he does. Let him learn himself like we all do."
"Definitely take the time to get to know her. Otherwise you will push him away"
"I was 19/20 and dated a 37 year old. Nothing good came of it, but unfortunately he’s going to have to figure it out himself. You need to give him a SERIOUS talk about Financials! I mean a serious talk. It could be his person, but it may not be."
"While I’d also be concerned if it were my kid, I can say that my high school boyfriend started dating a women twice his age after we broke up (he was 18 and she was 36) and they’re still together (married) and have had a couple kids together. It’s been 14 years and they seem super happy. I guess what I’m saying is, yes it’s concerning but maybe it is a legitimate connection?"
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