What should I do about my step daughter?

The father is right in his actions sry but her survivors benefits will end soon. If dad still provides insurance he is still looking out for her care. Social security told my son he shouldn’t expect me to give him his benefits but should be happy if I do…which of course I do, I get my own funds but that money is not given for a child to get their way. She’s gonna find out soon that 18 and adulting cost alot more than that free money she thinks she entitled to.

I’d do exactly what he’s doing. That money is there to help her and it will be there in I think you said November? The red flags are there. I hope for her sake she sees them.

If she hasn’t been emancipated she has no control until she’s 18, your husband is doing the right thing. She’ll respect you more later down the road

8 Likes

Why would you even consider giveing it to her? That would be just enabling her to more bad behavior also not to mention that it would just be a slap in your husbands face who I’m sure has her best interest at heart!

Stand by and support your husband… tough love is never easy, but its something that has to be done

9 Likes

I received benefits for my son whose dad passed away. Make sure whatever you do, you keep receipts documents and proof. If you give her any AMOUNT of cash make sure she signs for it. Im also pretty sure that of she is not in school after 18 the checks will stop so if she is still getting checks and isn’t enrolled on school and those checks are being spent, they can and will make her father pay the whole amount back. My sons check stopped when he was 18 and I had to prove he was still in school. That was t years ago. He still gets benefits but now because of a disability. Please be cautious how you handle this. Because at this point shw can say you stole her money and if you don’t have proof that you paid for a roof food schooling and everything else that meets the enquirements, it can mean trouble for your husband as her surviving parent.

NOPE. Don’t let her have it. Ya’ll got big trouble coming down the line

4 Likes

Stay out of it. You will drive a wedge.

Stand with your husband block the numbers on your phone

2 Likes

Support your husband

2 Likes

Do what’s right. Stick to your (or your Husband’s) guns. November is around the corner. With any luck she will wise up by then…

Why would y’all let her move out if she wasn’t 18? If the boyfriend is that bad and controlling and she isn’t getting school work done, why not make her come back home? I wouldn’t have let her go in the first place with a controlling boyfriend that wasn’t allowed in the home. I’m sorry but a lot of parenting is hard and you have to just deal with it instead of letting them go so you don’t have to deal with it. So the boyfriend was bad enough that you had to protect her and not let him come around anymore. But then you let her just leave and live with the guy you were trying to protect her from?

1 Like

Support your husband.

1 Like

Support your husband

1 Like

Stand by your man. It is sad she does not see the red flags. The lack of funds may show her how hard it is to be on your own. Hopefully he will lose interest and she can get back on track. You are legally responsible for her until 18. Keep an eye in her. Best of luck.

I watch a lot of lifetime movies like your situation sometimes they end well sometimes it ends in disaster with situations like this, best of luck that y’all can figure everything out

If you draw it out, she will be broke within 2 weeks or less! Let her take you to court bet you the judge will up the age on it to 21 and most likely chew her a new one!

Support your husband, you will not be doing your daughter any good by giving her the money. She wants to attempt adulthood at 17, then let her figure it out without mom and dads help. She chose to move out, she knew dad has control of that money and she cant have it unless guidelines are followed, which she has not. Don’t let her get away with her tantrum or you’re going to have many more problems, as well as a major trust issue from your husband.

Put in tryst til she has a college diploma or turns 25 that kid will take off if she has no money coming that loser just wants her money

Your husband’s right… I know it’s hard but it’s going to be okay Just keep telling her you love her.

3 Likes

Stick to your guns. Hopefully she’ll see his toxic ways and come back home to y’all soon.

2 Likes

If your name isn’t on the account there is no way for you to pull it out and if it’s in the paperwork of the courts that she isn’t able to have the money till 18 then she has to wait till then. Stick to your guns and stand by your husband’s decision. It’s ultimately his decision since he’s the owner of that account till she’s 18. I work at a bank and have seen this plenty and he’s technically her legal Guardian until then. She can throw fits all she wants but that’s on her. Her boyfriend sounds like a complete narcissist and I hope she will eventually see he is not good for her at all. She will learn and eventually see that everything you guys have said and done was out of love. There will always be drama cause when that money is gone she will probably come back to you guys.

Back her dad. Cause no matter when she gets it she’s going to blow it

4 Likes

Back your husband 1000%

4 Likes

Don’t withdraw it, she’s still a minor and she’s still your child, you can’t give up on her

She will be grateful one day that u didnt give in.

3 Likes

Omg get her the help she needs she’s clearly in desperate need of help that relationship is toxic af what you guys are doing with her money is fine but help her she’s not mentally stable or mature to make certain decisions on her own

Parenting is NEVER easy, do what is best for her and save it for her until she has her head on straight. As far as her taking y’all to court, you have to have money to do that🤷🏼‍♀️ and judge wouldn’t grant it anyway

Keep doing what Dad is already doing.

6 Likes

You need to let your husband do his job

You guys could get into a lot of trouble keeping the card from her. Especially it being related to ssi. That’s “hers” but I do agree that you should support your husbands choices

DO NOT GIVE IN! I know it’s hard but just ignore her as much as possible it’s just like dealing with a toddler if you give in she will expect it.

Your husband is right

6 Likes

I’d absolutely stick to your guns on this one. She’s trying to manipulate you guys by threatening court. She’ll learn, maybe the hard way but she will.

10 Likes

My question is how is she providing for herself? How is she eating? Does she work? These questions should matter no?

2 Likes

It’s called tough LOVE. It’s probably one of the hardest things we’ll ever have to do as parents but sometimes it’s necessary. I had to give my son a 30 day notice to move out a few years ago. It was SO HARD (he’s my only child) but I knew I wasn’t doing him any favors by putting up with some of the things he was doing. He moved 3 hours away from me for a couple of years. I missed him terribly and I worried a lot but he grew up a lot in those two years. Now he’s married, in the Navy and living on the east coast (I’m in California). I tell you what, it’s the best (and hardest) thing I’ve ever done but I’m so happy I stuck to my guns. Support your husband. Block their numbers. Stick to your guns… but while you’re doing all that, make sure she knows that you love her and you’re there for her when she comes back to her senses. It may take a while, but I promise, it’s well worth the wait… HUGS… :heart::pray::heart::pray::heart:

Stick with what my husband says

6 Likes

First of all that money Is for the lack of financial support that her mother couldn’t provide. The audacity of her entitlement is one thing that will hold her back. I’m sorry you all are going through this but she needs to understand she’s still a kid and she is not in control. Your husband is 100% right and you guys need to remain a United front.

1 Like

As a child I would’ve acted the exact same way. Please do not give in. As an adult I know now how I acted when I was younger is now unacceptable but please back your husband on this she will thank you one day if she gets away from the guy.

10 Likes

Usually benefits stop at age 18, but can continue to age 19 if the child is a full time student and is in high school. So if she dropped out, her benefits should stop at age 18.

Stick with it.
Petition for a rep payee or file something to extend till 25 and have an attorney handle it. No contact with you.
This will save her life.

17 Likes

You better leave that money alone and in that bank account! She deserves this and created this drama. Stop entertaining her bs!

No leave it in the bank until she turns 18.

1 Like

Absolutely don’t give her the money. She’s not in school? Not 18? Go pick her ass up, no contact with the boyfriend under your roof, bring her home and send her to school.

Don’t give in!!! Stick to your guns!!! She will respect you more once she comes to her senses and dumbs that idiot!

2 Likes

If you withdraw it and give it to her you are teaching her to not listen to her dad and to throw a fit to get her way do what dad says

12 Likes

She’s 17 …. Make her come back home and bust her butt.
Restrict her privileges and so on and so forth.

9 Likes

DO NOT give her money… She’ll get worse or she will pay her bfs way for everything just back her dad and keep doing what youre doing. Legally your being good parents and shes out of control she hasn’t got ANY leverage or foot to stand on! The judge wont side w her so call her bluff… :wink:

Stick with it and let her take y’all to court. I would actually be pleased to go to court because a
Judge can quickly see the immaturity of her relationship and how it has negatively effected her. I mean seriously, she’d be setting herself up for failure if she takes you to court.

15 Likes

No…. clearly domestic violence is going on definitely don’t pull the money out it will be gone in a week. Try an get her help and be more welcoming. Domestic violence is very hard for outsiders to understand if you’ve never been through it. If he hasn’t hit her yet he’s preparing her for it. Always show her she has a home with you guys. :purple_heart:

Don’t give it! Seems like the bf has changed her for the worst.

Stick to dads guns, youre not teaching her anything. Tell her to go to court, let the judge spank her

4 Likes

You never should have given it to her. Period if she wasn’t in the house. The money can be spent by him for her needs or expenses. Number them out enough to take them completely then when she goes to court or at 18 she will have nothing left. Create a trust for her from the two of you and make it held until 26 (or if you deem it needed)
If not she will be broke before Christmas

Ummm FOLLOW the MAN of the house’s lead. See chicks always wanting to wear the pants. Stop it

Shes 17 letting her have it at 18 is a blessing lots of parents put a 21 year stipulation on it. Let her take you to court in the long run the judge will most likely teach her how rough life can be.

7 Likes

Honestly I’d withdrawal the money and place it in another savings account. As she gets older she’ll see how bad it is and she’ll wish she had that money as an escape. If he’s as horrible as he seems she’ll realize it eventually. DO NOT GIVE IN NOW. She’s probably only harassing you because it’s what he wants. He’s going to keep using her so everything she has and this will just be another way to keep control of her. Lord knows once that cash is in their hands it’ll go to him not even her.

Stick with hubby’s decisions.

7 Likes

The parents would win the case. Keep the money away from the kid. Make her learn the hard way.

Your husband is 100% right and just giving her the card before she turns 18 is irresponsible. Honestly I wouldn’t have even let her leave. Sounds like she is being abused and manipulated.

He Knows What He’s Doing…STEP BACK! Let HER Father Handle It… AINT Shyt U Can Tell Him… SitBack n Watch The Show!:100:

5 Likes

Well if she’s 17 u guys should b getting into trouble for letting her leave. Thats ur responsibility nd if she can prove u guys did that ur kinda screwed. Just give her HER dead mothers money nd be greatful u don’t go to jail.

You should be getting a notice from SSD around her 18th birthday saying her benefits will end. If she is still attending school you’ll have to fill papers out to prove she is attending school so her benefits could continue until she’s 19 or graduated. Don’t mess with SS, they’ll make you pay back money if she’s not attending school. And the money you get for her goes for a roof over her head, food clothing or whatever needs she may have.

Stick to what her dad is saying.

2 Likes

Stick to your guns! When she turns 18 she’s an adult & can do as she pleases. Let her take you to court. Your not spending her $, just saving it for her. Good luck!

Yes, I wouldn’t draw it out it’s her dad’s decision alone to decide on that money. And there is a total difference no matter what age you got her having her dad making those decision. At the end us as stepmoms need to step back

Maybe you should tell her you approve of him and it will turn her off to him? Reverse psychology???

Stick wit your husband.

2 Likes

Stand your ground, do what you said you’d do, and not give in. She’ll thank you later.

4 Likes

Stick to it but also keep in touch with her and try to do lunches and visit with just her - so she knows you are there for her if anything happens. I was in this situation as a teenager and my parents wouldn’t be around my boyfriend or even really talk to me while I was dating him and when things turned into abuse I had nobody to ask for help and didn’t feel like I wanted to go to my parents because I didn’t want the “I told you so “ lecture. There’s not much you can say or do to make her see how he is , she will eventually see it on her own hopefully. I hope it works out and she realizes how he is and it doesn’t turn bad . Xx

1 Like

Don’t let her win she gonna be giving that boy all her money soon enough smh

Let her know when she dropped out of school that she no longer will get that Social Security

Technically she must be a student to receive that money so tell her if you report her absence the money will be cut anyways

Don’t touch that money leave it right where it is.

Leave it In… Stick to what your husband said…

6 Likes

She turns 18 in three months and you are gonna give it to her then right? If so you gotta ask yourself is it worth destroying the relationship even further ?? It’s just money not worth losing a child over.

Dad is right. I raised my step kids also And If their dad set a rule I’d follow it because he’s the father. It will just cause you unnecessary marital problems.

Keep it in that account. Howx is she gonna take you to court? Do they have jobs and funds to do so? If so the judge isn’t going to side with a 17 yr old unruly child. He will look at her and tell her the same thing her father did. Go back to school, you will get the money when ur q8 till then it’s to be in your dad’s name. Stop replying to her at all when it involves anything to do with that money. Still talk to her just ignore all hateful texts calls just hang up on her when she mentions it or starts yelling. Don’t stress yourself over it.

Her bf is going to blow that money

If I was U stay out of it let him take control of it

Back your husband. You giving her the money, behind his back, will not help her and still won’t end any drama.

Don’t give in to her! That’s what happens when you think you’re a big girl and that you know everything!!

4 Likes

It ain’t nothing but November make that girl sweat she need to learn respect and don’t u dare go against that man wishes at the end of the day its his daughter not yours

3 Likes

Give it to her when she turns 18. It’s not a life insurance policy- it’s social security and if they find out she’s not living with you and you cash checks they’ll ask you to send back the money. Once a year a paper is sent to check if they moved, married, etc

Neither of you need to be giving in to what she wants. That boyfriend of hers is bad news and the longer she’s with him the more she’ll realize and wanna come back. The “boyfriend” has no say about HER money and odds are he’s probably controlling her into causing shit with you guys. DO NOT GIVE IN! She was told the rules and she didn’t listen. Plain and simple.

No dont go against your husband. Work as a team. Keep the money in savings show tough love. She will learn the hard way when her boyfriend starts to be phyically controlling. Also I have a feeling her boyfriend is telling her to get that money and give it to him. I have a big feeling this behavior your daughter is showing isnt her and that everything she is doing is being forced by her boyfriend. Please call the cops and report her so called boyfriend for abuse she might get mad at you but will thank you later down the road when she realized you saved her from being found dead in the ditch.

Let her take it to court. Judge will see how she acts and how the boyfriend acts and say she is not allowed any of it till 18 and if she dropped out of school I would make it 21 instead. Make her and boyfriend get jobs to support their stupidity.

Leave it in the bank. Her dad told her what would happen.

5 Likes

I’m sure the courts will back up the dads decision. I say let him stick to what he said he was going to do. She’s 17 and think the world revolves around her. She has a lot of learning to do. Hopefully she’ll get away from this boy and succeed in her future!

4 Likes

Just wait it out. With a boyfriend like that anything can happen from here until November. Hopefully they break up and she goes back home. Then it will just be left behind

Definitely do NOT give in to that behavior

7 Likes

Stand by my husbands decision

6 Likes

As long as he can maintain a paper trail of where the money is and what or why it was spent she can’t do anything beside emancipation but that takes time and she has to do things. Stick with your hubby he is right.

Firstly she needs to prove to her dad and you as her mum that she can be responsible and respectful. If she cannot follow simple steps. Why give in to demands and maybe it’s because the boyfriend is constantly undermining her decisions and putting extra pressure on her because he may have a problem or addiction.

Do not give that to her when she turns 18 either it will be gone, he will take it all from her. Wait till she is 21 the relationship will not workout that much longer, hopefully she will wake up and see she messed up.

10 Likes

Technically she’s a run away… she’s not emancipated and she’s legally not an adult! Make her wait. That old saying of “teens! Hurry up and move out while you still know everything” applies here…. As soon as that money is done their relationship will be done. This is a heartbreak she’s gonna have to learn on her own. Hopefully his agenda will surface before she turns 18!! Tell her that money is gone til November! Good luck! :heart:

Stand your ground, as a parent of a 18 year old myself I’m struggling with the tug of war of independence with him. If they want to make their own decisions then they have to deal with the consequences. Funding her bad behavior and Poor decision making is only going to enable her and make her more entitled. Unfortunately in this situation you take the risk of her clinging onto this not so good boy but if your confident in the way you raise her she will see the error in her ways soon enough. Sometimes parenting is sitting back and doing nothing and hoping that the work that you’ve done for the past 17 years did not fall upon deaf ears. Young girls make terrible decisions as long as she has a home to come back to and family that loves her she will find her way back.

Go to court she may lose her benefits due to her not being in school.

4 Likes

technically the money is supposed to be used on her as far as the court knows (if she took you)you paid for things she wanted it’s like child support they wouldn’t know where the money went. So it doesn’t have to be given to her And NEVER AND I MEAN NEVER go against you’re husband to give in to a child who is acting this way she will be 18 and right now you don’t know if she would last with him another 2-3 months. Stick with your husband’s decision.

Dad should become her conservator on the grounds that she is unstable. Dropped out of school and unable to manage her money.

File charges against the bf for harassment. Stick to your guns. One day she’ll realize the error of her ways, hopefully before the bf really mentally messes her up.

5 Likes