First off,what are you doing out of the kitchen?.
Their bluffing probably don’t have court fee money if they want SS so bad. If she needs money for food or gas I would give that to her. Maybe in gift card or gas card.
The drama is nessassary girl. Your hubby is showing that she has to work for her money and that she can’t be a spoiled brat with it. Sounds like what he’s doing is for the best considering her birth moms past- don’t want her to go down the same road. The requirements your husband sat out are super simple and should be easily met. If she takes him to court the court will more than likely side with him considering shes 17 with no job. Just don’t give in and stand your ground. If you don’t shell spend the rest of your life walking all over you
You get the benefits either till 18 or finish school. She can get it switched to her name cause it’s for her. I had a similar case. I left home before 18 and got it switched to my name.
Do not withdraw it. Support your husband’s decision.
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Hell naw don’t take that money out bc she still a KID thinkin she grown bc she got ah lil 
n her!!! Wen she turn tha age ur husband stated than release tha money 2 her!! She grown than…
Support your husband’s decisions & pray
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You and your husband need to be strong and stand together on this!
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Your husband needs to stand his ground. And if that were my child, she wouldn’t get that money til she was at least 21.
Like all the other comments stand your ground and dont give in, maybe one day she will realise it was good a thing that you didnt give it her
Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES DO NOT GIVE IN…….We made the mistake to give in and NOW she wished she had all the money…
File harassment charges against the boyfriend mental abusive is just as bad as physical abuse & by controlling her that’s how it all starts. as for daughter stick by your husband as hard as it is. If you give in now she will be just as manipulative in the future & will never learn that actions have consequences. Tough love doesn’t do any harm. Shes made her bed let her lay in it.
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Technically, the money belongs to the dad. The money is given for her maintenance, which he is providing.
Stick to your word. She will think throwing a fit will give her what she wants in life
Kids can have their own accounts with the parent on it. They have access to their own debit cards etc…he would need to contact the courts or a lawyer to see what to do as the money is for her.
I would go to the courts and ask if it’s possible for it to be extended until she is 21. I know when I was about 19 I asked for my savings bonds from my parents that were given to me from my grandparents and I ended up spending them on weed and cigarettes. Even though they are “adults” they don’t have the capacity to think logically, yet. Add to that, that if she isn’t willing to keep up with what’s required (ie: actually going to school and getting good grades) she shouldn’t be receiving the money anyway. It’s unfortunate of the circumstances of how she’s getting the money but it’s possible that you can try to reverse psychology that shit into her thinking “how would my mom feel if…” (not sure on how she and her mom’s relationship was) but it could get her to thinking about [if she is using] whether or not she really needs that money or if she may just be using it for selfish reasons.
No matter what you want to do, support your husband and stand by him. No harm is coming from his actions and he isn’t breaching anything. It’s just teenage drama that will eventually pass. Stay strong Momma
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I would stand by your husband’s decision. That’s his say, especially if she is making clearly irresponsible decisions
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I would be agreeing with ur partner and both of you working together on this, i know its unnecessary drama bit dont give in as thats giving mixed messages x
I couldn’t get my benefits in my name until I turned 18 and had proof I was still in school so he actually doesn’t even have to save the money for her, my mom didn’t and I was on my own from 15 yrs old. I mean it’s maybe not a very nice thing to do, but sounds like she might be shitting her future away, so I would take half of it all and say you spent it, and put it away for when she gets her shit together and can appreciate you did it for her. Especially when you know she is gonna run through all of it with her loser boyfriend. She’ll thank you guys later for it.
This is where you have to take a step back and allow him to give the tough love.
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Sounds like the controlling boyfriend is also trying to financially exploit her tbh I wouldn’t give her any of it at all I think your husband is right xx
Just a thought… but I had an abusive ex at 16. I ended up marrying him and having a baby at 19. He would end up beating me, doing drugs, etc. I left him at 20 and have raised my daughter ever since without any child support … she is now 17. It has been so hard and I really wish that I was wiser and more mature and stable when I had her. She deserved better but I didn’t know better. Anyways… I always wondered why my parents didn’t put their foot down harder. I mean they tried but I just KNEW everything at that age. There really was no waking me up until I learned from experience. Please back your husband up but still remind her as much as you can that you are there for her when she needs you (in other ways)…. Even if that means her moving back in when they eventually (hopefully) breakup. Don’t let this hurt your family’s relationship because when she “wakes up” she is going to want and need you both. Best of luck xoxo
She doesn’t get it until she is 18. I think your husband has been good enough to give it to her before then. When she is an adult she can do as she pleases and she will have to learn by her mistakes and I am sure the courts would tell her the same. Don’t give in she has to start learning somewhere
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If she needs the money that bad, I really don’t think she can afford a lawyer for court. And your husband probably knows that too.
Have her watch the movie No one would listen …
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In NC, if you drop out of school you lose those survivor benefits. You might want to call and check to see if that’s the case in your state. If so your husband will be responsible for paying that money back
Stick by your husband
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Like all the other women have said…stand by her father your husband on this one. I would talk to child courts abt the boyfriend, since he seems like a narcissist. Your daughters world will only get worse bc of hie control.
Give it to her when she’s 18 they will or her bf will have it wasted she needs it for her future period!
Support your husband. I understand about being a parent I have two myself. But a hard head makes a soft ass. She needs to learn now that there are consequences. It’s better to learn from people who love her than this cruel world.
Stick by ur husband. If you don’t it will cause problems in ur marriage.
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So hard to watch your child make these big mistakes. Stick with your husband and pray that she comes to her senses
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I wouldn’t give it to her till she’s older for one and he has control of it not her so he can keep it in there and she can’t touch it.
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Her father is doung all he can, just go along with him,
Support your husband.
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That money was to be used in assisting to raise her during the absence of the other parents income not necessarily given directly to her. That is why it ends at 18.
Your husband is right. She can have it when she’s 18…period!
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You and your husband are 1!! Stick with him, she just go have to wait!!
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Actually, he didn’t even have to save it for her as it is for her day to day expenses just like child support would have been, so she’s lucky to have a dad that did that for her! I would put the money in a trust or something until she’s 25!
Nothing your husband got this. Sit back and follow
His
Lead.
I mean honestly if the boyfriend is that controlling it sounds like the boyfriend is speaking for your daughter. She’s very young and obviously making a very stupid mistake that hopefully she will learn from in my opinion your husband is doing the right thing it’s not like he’s spending it you know what I’m saying he’s saving it for her and he had stipulation she needed to continue school that girl if she wanted to act grown should still be in school be getting her good grades and showing her father that she deserves to have this money no matter who her boyfriend is. On that note with her boyfriend being so controlling I’m pretty sure there’s a 90% chance he is the reason she is having the issue going on with school granted she is obviously choosing to be a grown woman so she can make her own decisions. But as far as I can see you guys are not doing anything wrong.
Don’t go behind his back to give in on what she wants. If he says 18 stick with it if they wanna harass you guys press harassment charges.
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she will thank you one day…do not give her that money it will be gone in days and he will drop her…thsn what…I would bet if you go to court the court will be on your side…
Stick by your your husband…let her have her pissy fit
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Stick by your husband also the fact that she threaded ya with court. I would up the age by asking a judge. Give it to her at 23 when she should of finished high school with 3 years of college. Most kids don’t even get those funds because it’s used to support the child threw out life. She needs to respect you both for given her all her needs as a child. As for the boyfriend file charges . He probable doesnt work and wants what’s free or the easy way out. Make it harder for them both.
Don’t her;boyfriend is a bad influence with a capital B. Secondly screaming;at her that’s verbal abuse. Just stick;to your facts;the legal law&pray she comes to her senses. Cause the;boyfriend sounds both verbally&financial abusive.
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My sister died 10 years ago and my nieces dad held all the ss money till she turned 21. He can decide when to give it to her. He didnt even have to give it to her every month to begin with as long as it was placed into an account for her.
Sorry but I agree with your husband. I think once she gets that money the boyfriend will end up with all of it and he will be gone (without your daughter)
Dad’s doing the right thing, under 18 requires a payeeship or conservator so to speak. Though if he spends any of that money he needs to be able to prove (receipts) it was for her benefit, also keep track of any cash withdrawals that is for her.
Actually if the IRS finds out she is no longer in school and still receiving SS checks they will want back pay from the month she dropped out. Don’t touch the money.
I would make her wait but not 18 she would wait till I have seen her turn into adulthood she could be,not a baby. She will thank you one day.
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the boyfriend is behind it all - - been there with mine . . it’s all the boyfriend. Stick to your guns - -she’s too immature to handle that money
Stay with your husband and dont give in
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I wouldn’t give her the money when she turns 18 .
Let him deal with it…his kid.
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Stay firm the court will see it as in her best interest…
And I would file a local police report just so they have in record what you’ve seen! That way if anymore happens they have something on file already and know there’s an issue. They won’t go check on her your just making a report so something is there. Will be easier to get a restraining order
Stand with your husband.
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That money is the least of your problems. Your daughter is on a dangerous path with her boyfriend.
Ugh this is such a sad story and it hits so close to home. I was your stepdaughter in this story at one point- in the exact same kind of relationship. Unfortunately, I think this is something you’re gonna have to ride out. She won’t leave the relationship until she’s ready and nothing you say can stop her (that’s how it was for me at least- i thought i knew everything). You’re doing everything right though. Stay firm with your boundaries, but be there for support and keep an open line of communication because She at some point will likely want to leave him because she’s tired of the mental and emotional abuse, but not know how. Biggest thing for me was openly knowing my mom and dad didn’t like my boyfriend and that he wasn’t welcome. I wanted my family to be a part of my life, but couldn’t see them unless I went on my own and I got really tired of not being able to do things all together. I missed my family. But it took time and A LOT of hard lessons. It’s crazy how a toxic person has the ability to turn even the nicest/best people into someone you don’t recognize. I know this is a long comment and maybe I got a tad deep, but I just can empathize with what you’re going through and wanted to give you my perspective as someone that was in a relationship like you describe when i was your daughters age. You got this- stay strong.
Do not touch that money… your husband is absolutely 
% right. She will realize when she is older unfortunately we only learn from our mistakes. She will thank you both later. Right now I would focus on trying to reach out to his family and intervene and get her back home.
He is parenting, let him, he trying to teach her a valuable lesson, let him
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Absolutely back husband,if anyway possible put money in a trust until she is 25
Stand by your husband!!! Respect what rules he’s set in place. It’ll cause damage to your marriage if you go against his wishes. It seems he’s trying to hold her accountable let him. Goodluck I pray yalls daughter wakes up and sees for herself this " boy" is toxic and does the right thing.
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Let her learn this lesson and stick with your husband.
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I’m so sorry! Unfortunately by law you have to sign over the social security money when she turns 18. I was lucky that my daughter used her SS money wisely to get through college. Praying for your family.
Don’t do it, let her pony up the money for a lawyer and court fees. This is a no win situation unless the boyfriend goes
I wouldnt give her the money i would buy her things she needs. Also stick with your husband because her stupid decisions shouldnt ruin your marriage
I’d say stick by your husband, and stand your ground. Tell her if she wants to play the role of an adult, then she can have all the responsibilities of an adult; like getting a job and making her own money to support her and her piece of trash boyfriend. I wouldn’t give her any of it, until she’s more mature. Sounds like she’s just rebelling because y’all stood your ground and told her “no”. And if they keep calling and harassing both of y’all, I’d threaten taking out charges and/or restraining order if that shit doesn’t stop.
I’d find out if there is a way to court mandate that she can only pull a certain% until she is 30. Letting a 17 year old move out was a mistake. She was still a child. I would have done the opposite and let her know her bf isn’t allowed over until she fixes her attitude. I’d invite the bf over and have a heart to heart. In al. There is no Romeo and Juliet law. He’s over 18 she’s not. I’d explain I have rules on how to treat my daughter and if he can’t abide by them then he has to business coming around. Or the police will be involved. I’d also contact his parents and ask them how involved they want to be in this drama.
Tell her if she moves back home, enrolls in school or gets her GED she can start to earn a % of the money back. Nothing you guys do is going to stop her from seeing this man. But it sounds like she could use some therapy and it wouldn’t hurt for him to go with her
Her benefits stop when she turns 18, 19 is she’s in school. Maybe that will encourage her to go back to school
Don’t undermine your husband. If he wants to stick with what he told her from the very beginning then that’s what you do. Talk with your husband on haw he wants to deal with the harassment and disrespect from the kid and stick with that! You both need to be a United front to deal with this. Together. I think it would cause a big issue with you and your husband if you give her the money. The kid left the house… let her try making it on her own then… she’s already made poor choices. And I’m sure she’ll continue to make more poor and expensive choices once you hand her the money… don’t do it!!! Especially if the boyfriend is a bad influence… stand 100% behind your husbands choice.
I would stand by my husband let her throw a fit
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Don’t give in, they will have it gone before the ink is dry!
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I was in the same position and i put it in an account where she couldn’t withdraw before 21!!! Best thing i could do for her!
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Speak to bank rep, do whats best for her future! Not her current lifestyle, so much changes in a few yrs. she will thank you later
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Stand by your husband
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Stand by your husband decision
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Brielle Serina you aint lying…your momma would of fucked everyone up within a 6 foot radius…facts
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It is not her money. It is your to do with as you feel fit. At 18 years old they have no brain. Maybe at 25 she will. If you have to there is a no contact order you might be able to get. For the boyfriend. Sounds like my ex husband. When I was 17.
It is YOUR money, given to you to help raise her. You CHOSE to save it for her future and spent other money to raise her. It still is your money. If she isn’t acting right, don’t give it to her
Your husband is right.
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Nope nope. No money at all. Soc sec will end at 18and her boyfriend will be gone. Keep a journal with dates and what is being spoke about. Good luck
I wouldn’t even give it to her at 18, I’d make sure she’s using it for her rent and at least working so she doesn’t blow the money w her bf and have nothing in 6mo. It’s hers so I mean eventually but I don’t think 18yr Olds make sound decisions.
Listen to you’re husband , he is absolutely right .
As soon as she gets this money and it’s gone , her boy friend will disappear !
Your husband is right. Stand by him
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Keep the money in a separate account and give it to her when she starts acting like an adult (around 25). It cost way more than he received to take care of her every month.
Fingers crossed she gets away from the controlling turd. But no one is responsible with money at 18 unless they had a really hard life. The life lessons have to be learned
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Being a parent isn’t easy. You can’t give up because of “drama” stand by your husband and see it through. Sounds like it’s the best thing for your daughter as well.
Is it about what is in her best interest?? Or yours?? Are they the same??? It is always hard to know what to do but the hard thing usually ends up being the right thing while the easy thing usually ends up creating more shit than the original problem itself. Good luck
Get by your guns. It’s a few months. The boyfriend who can’t get at the money may disappear if he has to wait. You drew the line; now don’t be fool enough to erase it.
I would withdrawal it and put it in an account that she couldn’t touch til she is 21
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You back off. Let your husband deal with it, hes right and any judge would side with him. Period
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Stand by your husband, as his wife! He set the terms with her that is by the law! Just stick it out for a few more months til she gets her money! But then start preparing yourselves for her to come back home, when her n her boyfriend blow thru all that money! It wont take them long! Or your husband needs to file for guardianship over the money b4 she turns 18! That way he can filter the money to her on things she needs, such as paying her rent, utilities etc! Good luck n prayers to you n your husband!
Talk to an attorney see if you can’t tie up that money until she is 21, and drug free because I have that God awful feeling that money will be gone within a year and she will want to come home pregnant and hooked on drugs
Your husband’s right don’t give in
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Hell no ! Stick with your husband!
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Go to court. She may think she’s smart but wait til that judge gets her!
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Hubby’s right family court judge will say he’s right no worries the judge is going to say he’s right she’s wrong he protecting her from herself been there know what I’m talking about
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let your hubs handle it
She is a teenager don’t withdraw the money …just keep quiet don’t say anything