Stay out of it.it’s between tjemy
Give it to her it’s hers either way she has to learn her lesson one way or the other
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I would respect your husband’s decision. I know you probably want all this bs to be over with, but it’s not worth going behind his back and doing that. And it’s not worth causing problems in your marriage and it’s definitely not worth losing his trust, in my opinion. I always try to think how I would feel if I was in the other person shoes. Who knows maybe things won’t work out between them and she dumps him.
Give her her money. It’s bad enough she grew up without her mother. Now that she’s older and has her own life you’re only hindering her growth by withholding her money. Let her learn on her own. At the end of the day it is her money so she’s not wrong. You’re not teaching her anything but hate for you if you continue to hold what’s rightfully hers.