If she’s not living in the home and it was not reported to social security you will be asked to repay every dime back. Trust me, it won’t end well. Report her as not being in the home and repay it or your husband will look at heavy fines and fraud charges
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Keep it. Dont give in
STICK TO YOUR GUNS!!! Do not give her that money. Your husband is right! I am speaking as a once spoiled rotten little ass****!!! I was out of control at her age. I had money left to me and my grandfather was the custodian. Not exactly the same situation as your but it’s similar. My mom and grandma wanted to cave because I was being how I was but my grandpa and dad refused! They got tougher on me too. I’d rather not go further as it hurts my heart that I once was that way. They were SO SO SO right! Since she thinks she has the answers, let her figure it out. I had to. I got into legal trouble. I fixed it and learned. They loved me all along just were not going to contribute to my spiral. I’ve done nothing since then but try to make it up to them all. I care for them. I did everything I could to show how truly sorry I was. Still do even though it was all long ago forgiven. I hope she comes around like I did. It was tough but it made me even more tough. 
I am over two different people money and was over my nephew money he told them folks I was not using his money for him and they said is she over your money he said yes they said she is not supposed to give you any of that money as long as you have what you need you are fine and they told him that they could not do anything about the money I got for him but he could change who was over it
Stick to y’all guns…
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I agree with your husband. I also agree that you should tell her to go ahead and take you to court. I raised 2 grandkids that were recieving SS, because their mother past away. Any money not used for them was to be turned over to them when they turned 18. Those are the guidelines set forth by the SS Administration. Your husband is in the right.
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Don’t touch it, it was stated what was the requirements and she didn’t follow through. It’s not your say on what happens to it.
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Support the husband. By November maybe she’ll come to her senses and get rid of that no good BOY. Because anyone who actually cared for her would encourage her to finish school, not allow her to drop out. Don’t give it to her now, it’ll get blown by the boyfriend. She wanted to act grown let her struggle like she’s grown.
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You give in this once and you will be giving in to this type of harassment and blackmail for a very long time to come.
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Stick with your husband. Don’t give her the money.
Because I can guarantee you what will happen is the boyfriend will find out about this money and will take it all because of how controlling he sounds.
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Well going behind your husbands back is…to say the least NOT a good idea, especially with a situation as serious as this.
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Stay strong. Hold your ground. Kudos to your husband. She will thank you one day when she is able to appreciate what you’ve both done for her. Sometimes “kids” need to learn the hard way and many times it’s life’s best lesson!
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That isn’t your place. That is between him and her. He’s got it under control and doesn’t need you to intervine. Tough love is the right love sometimes
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Technically it’s her money and he would get in trouble for not providing for her if he is receiving the money which is to be used for the care of her. I was able to sign the checks before I was 18 because it was benefits to take care of the child. It’s not a trust fund but social security and they should send a report yearly wanting to know how the funds are being spent on HER. If she is no longer in the household he shouldn’t be receiving it in the first place 
When I was a teen, I left home as soon as I turned 18. I missed a lot of school and had to work my butt off in order to even graduate. I irresponsibly blew through whatever money I had. I would support your husband. She’ll thank you in the future.
Stick to your guns♥️
stand by your husband
I personally with the dad I wouldn’t give it to her . Because as soon as you do right to the boyfriend it goes . I’d be seriously worried about the boyfriend. Definitely sounds controlling. Don’t cave in don’t give her the money .
Don’t give her anything. It might not be her driving the ship it could be him. Don’t undo all you’re husband’s hard work because she’s being demanding
Stick to your guns. If she wants to take y’all to court and can actually pay for that… then let her.
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Nah, don’t do anything. Let your husband parent, it may cause headaches but the lesson will be taught and your daughter will benefit from it in the long run
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sounds like she is in a possible domestic abuse situation with her bf? I wouldn’t call it enabling but it may enable the bf to use it, control it as well as… sounds like a tough situation. my mom kept helping me and my abusive husband with things and eventually she couldn’t help anymore because he would take or destroy those things or sell it if he could. Cutting off someone who doesn’t or isn’t ready to see that their relationship is unhealthy may push them away, make them feel alone and not able to reach out for help if and when they are ready. Enabling is giving money you know will go to drugs or drinking etc. If the money is legally hers well its hers but i would do what you can to keep open communication and trust so if and when the time comes that she see’s this, what she is doing and who she is with is unhealthy, she feels she can reach out if she is in real trouble or afraid. Domestic violence starts with these red flags and incidences. it starts this way then next your being choked or worst stabbed or somehow killed. you can risk giving her the money (money isn’t whats important) and it will help with keeping trust and an open bond between you too. good luck and think wisely on this.
Mama stick it out. She will come home brokenhearted asking for forgiveness. I moved out at 16 and I had a job and so on. But two months without my mom was more than I could take. I had never not spoken to her daily or seen her. But she told me if I didnt go to school and live by her rules I was free to go. I admit I was a brat a total selfish ass. And am forever grateful she took me back and helped me graduate high school and all of it. She has been gone two years now. What I wouldn’t give for one more hug or kiss or get your room picked up. Hold strong. My mom said it was very hard on her to let me go but she knew it was the only way I was gonna get it. And she was right.
Legally he can’t keep her money from her! He can get in big trouble for doing that! He has to pay her bills thats what it is for
It’s, not in your name for a reason, her dad is right her boyfriend probably wants to spend it. You should butt out, that’s between her dad, her, and moms money, which really goes to the dad in lieu of child support. So it’s really dad’s money.
He’s 18 and she’s under 18. She’s jail bait.
Stick to your guns. My daughter told me she wished I had stuck to My guns More often instead of GIVING in. Of course it was When she was 30yr. After leaving home 17yr and getting on drugs. I’m telling you please stick to your guns. If thing’s get violent or harassing have the don’t be afraid to Call the cops.
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I agree with your husband. Stick to your guns. Hopefully by November she will have gotten rid of the controlling boyfriend and he doesn’t get his hands on it and blow all her money
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Does she have rent, utilities, cell phone bill, ect? She should be getting the money to pay for her living expenses.
Pray stay by your husband 
pray that God keep yall & her plus pray that God keeps using your husband to lead his household
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Honestly stick it out it’s the age trust me and the partner is probably demanding she has a right to that money so she is entitled to it but at the end of the day your looking out for her best interest
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Sounds like she’s got some lessons to learn…as we all do…oh to be young dumb and inlove…dad’s doing the right thing in my eyes.
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Put it in trust for her, I believe you can set the age she gets it
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It’s her money and she not your child let them worry about
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This scares me. Reminds me of a story I read from a few years back. Kudos to you guys for looking out for her, in spite of her challenging your decisions. I hope she can see the light real soon.
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The boyfriend is after the money . U could give it all to her he will spend it and she will learn a great lesson he’ll dump her when it’s gone
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Wait till she is 18.
I would go change it to 25 , make her wait because u know her and her dumb bf will spend it all within months… at least a couple of years of life lessons will make her appreciate it more and spend it wisely… and hopefully by then she’s no longer with him 
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I have a feeling the boyfriend wants the money and is using her for monetary purposes. DO NOT GIVE IN! Stick with your husband.
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I think Dad’s got this one. The drama sucks, but she needs to know she’s not the adult.
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Stick it out. Dad is right
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Do not give in tough love sucks yes but stand you’re ground with hubby
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Keep it in the savings account. She will thank you later
No, don’t give her the money, she chose to leave, so she needs to deal with the consequences
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Just let her pitch her fit
also I would keep a list of local domestic violence resources for your area available at your home so if she needs help and can safely reach out, she has someone who is there (her mom) to help with a safety plan. When things get escalated and she may want to leave or break up-a safety plan is extremely helpful ( a safety plan is keeping documents, emergency phone,clothes, keys, a ride, etc set up in place) when ppl leave these abusers they are more likely to be killed while they are trying to leave. just want you to be provide the best information possible, the ss money is just money it is not a life. it may diffuse things for now and get you and her able to communicate if she is afraid and feels alone.
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Your husband is parenting, drawing it out to end drama is not, she’s still only 17. Save the money. Let her take you to court, it won’t happen.
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Call the cops on a run away and file on the bf for everything the cops say you can file on. Like sex with child aiding and abeding a run away. Anything else a cops say that you can. But the money from ss is for her bills, clothing, and soap, a roof over her head. On the roof over her head she ran away from. Only loophole. For her to buy that stuff tell her give a list and buy only necessities and black out the barcodes.
Personally I wouldn’t give it to her. Technically he doesn’t have to give it to her. That money is meant to help cover the costs of raising her since her mom died and is obviously unable to help support her. It’s essentially a child support from the government because her mom passed away. She is only eligible for it until she turns 18 unless she is in school still, which obviously she is not. So as soon as she turns 18 she won’t be getting it any longer. She can try to take him to court, however no judge is going to grant that. Put the money in an account she can’t touch until she is 25 when she has her head on better than she does now. Then if she does take you guys to court, he can say it’s in an account until she turns 25. No judge is going to do anything about it.
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I thought the check was kinda like a child support so so technically it is not hers it’s for bills food clothes and such and Dad you are doing the right thing do not give her anything until the time you said you would give it to her
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Never go over what your hubby does with his child. If you go behind his back and she blows the money, which she will, you will be the bad guy.
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Let him do the tough love parenting.
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Let her take you to court then
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Contact an attorney and ask about putting the money in a trust for her BEFORE SHE TURNS 18. I believe you could put the money in a trust and she not be able to access until a certain age…that may not be the case with social security death benefits though
Unless she goes to college, SS will stop on 18th birthday
If they knew she dropped out of school she wouldn’t even be getting it. Survivor benefits are as long as your in school or until 4 months after your 19 birthday or which ever comes first.
Keep the money put away for when she grows up and see the guy for what he is and is ready to come back home.
Do NOT give in!! Im on Dads side on this one!
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First off he’s a good father that actually kept it in the account for her to have later! Second he didn’t have to do that in the first place bc that money is to be used for the child so technically the day she moved out was the day he stopped supporting her and that would be the only money I would give her! Tough love is sometimes the only way some kids learn! If he didn’t actually use the money then just put it in another account until she comes to her senses and then give it to her! Money from a deceased parents SS is just like if they paid child support so technically until she moved out that money was used for her and things she needed over the years so she isn’t entitled to that money before she left. Some parents save it for the child to have later and some parents use it for the child as they grow up! I would stick to my guns till they take him to court bc a17yr old that’s “in love” can do some crazy crap in the moment 
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Do you really think she has the funds to hire a attorney. Tell her go ahead get one let her see what real world is like when the attorney ask for a 10k retainer
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The father is doing the right thing.
The way the bf sounds money won’t be used for bills more like drugs etc.
Tough love is exactly what she needs and she will thank you and her father later on down the road.
Do not give her the money.
Personally I would put it in a trust account and have her not be able to use it until she’s 21.
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Don’t give her anything of she wants to leave with her boyfriend then the can provide until she can have her money
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She will not see a dime for that money , and nothing says that she should have the money, your husband can transfer the money , if she take him to curt she can just say that he used the money to help with her expenses:)
sure as hell not give in to the little brat…I’d talk to a lawyer to see if I can postpone it until she’s 21…prove that she’s is unable to make responsible decisions …or that she could be under duress on account of dude she’s dating
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It’s not technically HER money. It is to be used to provide for her…a home, clothes , food, education, etc.
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Leave it there she will learn and apperciate u once she wakes up from this relationship
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I have a feeling the controlling bf is just trying to force her to get that money. She will blow it all if you give it to her.
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That’s what she’s hoping for you to give up and she’s won she will appreciate it one day so stick to the rules
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I wouldn’t mess with my husband’s kid. His kid his rules. Leave it alone!
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My mom kicked me out at the age of 16. I was an unruly teen who knew everything. I received a survivor insurance check as well. My mom kept it and I didnt care either way…cuz yea…remember…I knew it all.
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No don’t do it
Hubby is right
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Legally the money has to go to provide for the child. Regardless of where the child lives the money goes with the child and as the payee he could get in trouble for withholding it even tho hes saving it for her its not meant to be saved.
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Her boyfriend is 100% the problem or she wouldn’t have started acting that way, give it time I doubt they’ll last with the way he acts he’s probably just waiting to get her money. When they break up she will want to come home, hopefully you can help her finish school and get it all straightened out. I’m sorry… 
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Stay strong, don’t give in… Sometimes hard love is the only love tht will get through…
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I would have your husband put the money into a trust account that she can’t get to until she’s 21. If she gets the money now, she’s going to blow it.
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Give her the money so her controlling BF can spend it all? Why would you do that?
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Temper tantrums shouldn’t be rewarded. She pushing u. Refuse till a 18 an legal. But give her at least some food money here and there
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I would contact a lawyer. Use a free consultation if need be, just to make sure. I mean maybe she would file to emancipate or if she marries him it could change things. Best get real legal advice.
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I would kick her ass. Point blank. She needs a wake up call.
November isn’t that fair away… she will be fine 
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If they are harassing you call the police. I agree stick to your guns.
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This is not your circus. Stay out of it. Your husband is 100% right. Until she gets her shit together, and grows up a bit dad needs to step in.
Don’t touch it and don’t give in. Stick by your husband and don’t try and over rule him
The money will be blown as soon as it hits her hands.
If she can’t abide by the rules thats on her.
Her father is doing the right thing!!
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This is your step daughter so you have no say so in the matter. Let your husband handle it.
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Misti Wheeler You can’t do that with social security security survivors benefits. It has to be spent on the child. The adult is just a payee
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I would be backing my husband on this. He drew the line, she crossed it. I don’t think he’s being unreasonable at all and she gets it when she turns 18. She can wait. The kickback for you is he may feel unsupported and betrayed. I’m not sure why you’d cut him off at the knees like that? Talk about divide and conquer.
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He’s right. He’s under no obligation to give her the money until she turns 18 as long as he is doing this.
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I feel like its prolonging the inevitable. Shes either gonna blow it now it blow it in Nov. He had good intentions but in the end shes proved she will do what she wants to do no matter how ugly it has to get and has 0 care for her poor choices. Those are consequences she has to live with. I’d give her the money and try to tolerate the guy for a sake of having a relationship with her. But if both are adamant you can’t do that then keep those boundaries. The money isn’t gonna be enough to open her eyes to what you’re trying to teach her. Shes gotta learn the hard way.
When the money is gone the bf will be gone to and y’all will have a strung out daughter to rehab. And if you give her the money look forward to a much deserved divorce.
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Um she’s 17. Go to BF’s house, yank her ear and drag her home where she belongs.
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Stick to your guns till she is 18
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Oh, Honey! Definitely agree with you and Dad. I wouldn’t even give her all of that money when she’s 18, I would give her a chunk and tell here, “there ya go”! so when she starts needing bail money for her or him, it’s there but not completely squandered!! Wishing you the best, I know this situation has to be very very stressful.
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I’m sorry but all these people saying you have no right to have an opinion SERIOUSLY??? So you have been good enough to be her “mother” and raise her for the last 10 years and provide love and care for her but can’t have an opinion on what she does. BS!!! I agree with dad though. She is yet a minor and as her legal payee he only has to make sure she is provided for. Since she chose to move out before the legal age I think she made the decision herself. Wait till she is 18 and then hand it all over. OR give it all to her and when she is broke DO NOT HELP HER!!! If she wants to act like an adult, let her be an adult.
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I would put the money in a saving trust account in her name and her father as the trustee, then tell her that the only way to get it now is to go to court.
You would not have to hire an attorney, if they actually tried to take you to court you could represent yourself it’s call pro per, and as long as you can prove that you did not spend her money the worst that could happen is the court would order you to give it to her, but you would have delayed her receiving the funds for a very long time. This action could be very time consuming and frustrating for you, but if it keeps her from wasting that money it may be worth it.
I can tell you from experience that I had to represent myself in a trust court case, and I did win because I had all my evidence in order, they hired an attorney, a very expensive lesson for them.
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Do a background check of the so called boyfriend, because what he’s doing is considered a for of Abuse
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I have a friend who has two children whose dad died of an overdose. She gets $1300 a month SS for them from his passing. She used this to help support them clothes, sports, shoes, one just started driving so she is now splitting some up for his car and gas. She has saved what she hasn’t spent for a college fund, I told her to invest what she could and let compound interest give them more of what she was able to save after using it to support them. I’m not sure if it is different in each state, however your daughter is lucky that your husband put it in an account for her. If this is the same type of money, he didn’t have to. He may actually be entitled to that money for expenses if it is like what my friend receives. I would definitely support your husbands decision. I would also encourage him to do what someone else suggested, and save it for her and let her also benefit from compound interest from investments. It doesn’t sound like she is making reasonable decisions and being the typical lovestruck teen. It also sounds like the boyfriend is interested in her money and your daughter is very blind to that as well.
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The money won’t last long, and it will run out.
In hopes her boyfriend turns out to be a wonderful man and leads her in the right direction. In hopes they never have problems, or ever break up and she needs her Daddy!
I just hope she matures sooner than later and also sees 3 months will pass in the blink of an eye and that Daddy is the only real person in her life that will always be on her team!
There probably wouldn’t even be a court date set to settle this for 3 months…
Have the father only press harassment charges if they continue.
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She’s under age, take her ass back home! And threaten to call law enforcement on her bf.
Move and dont tell them WHERE!!!
Sound’s like dad is doing the right thing sticking to his guns. I would not intervene. Good luck and God bless
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