It’s too bad you couldn’t wait till she’s 25 and more responsible to get the money it sounds to me like they’re just going to blow it and be on the street
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I say stick to your husbands plan~~~ let her take y’all to family court.
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Don’t let the child run things. She doesn’t know what’s good for her in the slightest bit, that much is obvious. You will be doing more damage than good if you give in
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There is a form that is to be filled out yearly and specifically asks how many months of the year child lived WITH you. If she leaves, the money goes with her. It is not something your husband can keep in a savings account or have stipulations on.
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No hold her accountable. She chooses him over her education and family then she should get a job and support herself. Don’t be her enabler. If you go against your husband you don’t respect his decisions or him in general. Tough love the daughter may be mad but she will respect you both more.
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Get a temporary restraining order on the boyfriend. If she’s under 18 your husband should be able to get her name on the restraining order against him. He should stick to his guns about the money and other issues. He could have her locked up as a runaway as well. It’s really tough love but sometimes it’s the only way. I screwed up a lot like that and got pregnant really young. My parents did a great job turning me around by being really hard on me and making life uncomfortable. my parents wouldn’t do anything for me until I learned my lesson and grew up.
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Let your husband handle this the way he sees fit. At the end of the day he is her legal guardian and it is his decision. I personally think he is doing the right thing by sticking to his decision and holding her responsible for her actions. Yes it would be easier for you to just wash your hands of the situation but that is not what is best for his child.
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Go to a financial advisor and have it put in trust. When or if she gets her shit together she can have the first half at age 30, and the second at 50.
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leave it in savings and let her Dad handle it …
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Your husband is right, fair and making a responsible choice for her well being. Do not go against him!! She chose to leave and is making mistakes with her life thinking she knows what is best for her. She is young and it will become a life lesson. She can take you guys to family court, but until she turns 18, he is responsible for that money. He is not using it on himself, and she now has a savings. The court will tell her to wait until she is 18 to pursue any further action if he does not give her the card. It is 2 months away.
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Most states it’s still the parents responsibility for the kids until they’re 18 or file for emancipation. I don’t think she has any legal recourse until she turns 18 and if Dad can prove he’s kept her money for her when she turns 18, he can’t get in trouble for “taking it”
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If ur husband meant it with his child u need to stand behind him!!!
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Stand pat. That boy will clean her out and leave her broke. Don,t give, she,ll thank you in the end
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Shouldn’t have let her move out at 17…
Shouldn’t let her or the bf call the shots at 17…
Shouldn’t give her anything until she’s 18
You don’t reward bad behavior
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By the time the court system got anything done for her case, she would have already turned 18. She’s not even ready for it then!
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Stick to your words & don’t let her have it. To bad you couldn’t change it to where’s she’s 25 years old to get it.
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She is not 18 so there is nothing she can do!
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I feel the dad is right sticking to what he said. I can understand the unneeded drama is horrible. Let her take it to court she will learn a lesson in law.
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support your husband, I would
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You’re the adults he is the father! His rules are his rules simple!!
Don’t let her push you around to get what she wants🤣
Let her take you to court it probably won’t get her very far
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Even so it dont sound like ahe is responsible enough right now .also under the infuance of that boy who will stick around and probably only until the money runs out .maybe your husband should even invest it on a cd or bond or something she will make even more money on until 21 or 25 she will thank you later wont be happy now though
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She being overdramatic but acting age appropriate… You guys however seem to be acting petty and going to her level… This just sounds like a power struggle agai3bst a girl whose doing what we"ve all done to different degrees
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Make her take you to court. She may win. And that will be that. Her choices will be on her.
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I would have never let her move out at 17 and still in school.
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Nope. She’s not an adult yet. Your husband is absolutely in the right. He does need to stick to his guns.
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I also know here in Ohio back in the day when I was 17 with a baby I couldn’t even get foodstamps help like that because if you lived with your parent the responsabilities was theres until I would have turned 21 or out of there house
Rules are set in place for a reason!! If a parent backs down from rules they establish then a child learns nothing. Drama or not she is still a child. What if your 12 yr old caused drama?? Would you back away then?
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Personally, you’re going to have bigger problems on your hands than just the money. You need to get her back into the house. File a restraining order on this boy and forbid him from seeing her. He’s no good for her. Technically, she can be in school until she’s 21, if it takes her that long to graduate. Make her re-enroll in school and graduate. Make her do something with her life. She’s going to end up pregnant or being a bum and blowing all this money. Your husband is doing all the right things by now allowing her to blow this money. Keep your foot down and give her tough love. They think they know everything at 17, but they don’t. I’d force her to go back to school and go and get a degree, trade, certificate, or a full-time job. Yes, the money is hers, but she should NOT be handed that money to blow on garbage. It should be used for a down payment on a house or something that she’ll be able yo say she “has”.
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Support your hubby’s decision 
don’t be the enabler
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Let her take you to court the courts will find she isn’t capable of handling her own money and she will have to do what court says before she can have any of the money
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Hold your ground. That boy will be gone soon. If you let loose now he will take every dime she has and ruin her chance at a decent future. She’s a child. She can’t see the Forrest for the trees honey. But one day she will understand you were tough because you love her.
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Have her watch the “I survived “ series on A&E
Make you think twice about dating someone controlling and look for warning signs
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Let her tantrum and afford an attorney without work ethics. Also suggest she keep in mind her boyfriend can still be charged with statutory rape as she’s under age and if she wants to play the court game your all in. She can’t have her cake and eat it to. Time to grow up and take responsibility and live with consequences.
He is not obligated to just hand it over. When she turns 18 they will send a form asking if you have money saved. At that time you get a money order and per the instructions on the form you will send that to them and they will forward it to her via a card they will issue.
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Shouldn’t have let her even leave at 17 wtf??? Seriously?
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Give in to her now and you will create a bigger problem. Back your husband. It’s almost Nov now. If she can’t wait a few months, it would take longer than nov to get into court, something’s shady is up
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Give her the money and let her know that when it’s gone she’s on her own. Let her learn the hard way.
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No way should u draw that money out & give to her , until she straightens up & became responsible adult the money would stay in the bank. Plus I would have never let my 17 year old daughter leave
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Talk to a lawyer he can give you advice. He can see that their is someone appointed to handle her money. They will make sure she has her bills paid every month. They can only allow her so much spending money each month. When she reaches 21 they can give her the rest of the money. Save yourselves a lot of heartaches. Good luck
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Dad is right! He gives her the $$ and the guy sticks around til it runs out. He’ll break her heart. She’ll end up broke and on her own.
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Don’t give it to her. The boyfriend will take it all
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Payments will stop when she turns 18 anyways
I wouldn’t have let her leave… and would go pick her up and grab her kicking & screaming.
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Dad did what he is suppossed to do
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All I can add is from my own experience…the easiest solution is RARELY the best solution in the long run…
Katelyn, the SS money is NOT hers, it is given to the parent for child support. I would keep track of it the date she left. I am not sure if she will be able to get the sum he got since she left or not. I would check with SS.
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Stand your ground:bangbang:
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Nope. Stand strong with your husband. That’s your partner and he isnt in the wrong. Daughter is being a typical entitled brat. She’ll figure out the bf is a loser and she messed up most likely after wasting way too much time but she’ll figure it out. Stand by your husband and make her feel the consequences of her actions
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Don’t give in to her. It sucks but your husband is right in sticking to his guns on this. Shes still a child in a clearly abusive relationship and this is a tough love situation. She isn’t learn anything by you caving into her whining. Plus, as others have said, the boyfriend is probably gonna take and blow it all anyways. Thats another lesson she’ll eventually learn. Its hard but you just gotta stick to your guns, hold firm and she’ll learn the hard way, but she will learn
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I wouldn’t go behind dads back. You need to back each other up. If you feel strongly about it, talk to him about it.
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Let her dad handle it… he’s totally in the right.
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Don’t get involved… don’t give in that’s how entitled brats are raised….your husband told her what’s up and if she wants to take him to court go hard but until she’s 18 she ain’t getting nothing
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She has no standing. Tell her to grow up. She decided to drop out, not you. Tough love.
Legally, the only person who can withdraw the money is the dad. And she’s a minor and can’t really do anything, the Court (if not the Guardian ad Litum) will tell her that.
Warn them once to stop pestering you, report her for truancy and as a runaway, and stick to your guns.
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Leave it till she is 18. Dad should stick to his guns
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Stick to your guns mama! The rules are the rules. Let her take you to court. She’ll realize it’s too expensive, the judge might put her I’m her place and hopefully it’ll just be a painful lesson learned in the end.
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That money is to help support her and raise her. It’s not a inheritance. He needs to use that money for what it’s meant for and not give it to her as a benefit. He’s doing the right thing
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All y’all saying just because she’s the step mom she has no say in it sound like some bitter ass baby mamas. This woman RAISED her for the last 10 years after her mother died. Just like she would raise a biological child. Of course she has a say so. But I do agree with the husband on this. At 17 she thinks she knows it all and she’s invincible. Tough love and a life lesson.
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You all can get into trouble for her leaving
Hey douche bag step mom that’s her money either way… no matter what!!
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But do not give her that money she has a room at the house and food waiting for her
Dads right, I agree with him, judge will see the situation. He will agree with the father as well, plus that money is to help take care of her. Same situation with my sister. Judge granted all the money to my mom because she did everything for us as kids.
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I think what dad’s doing is completely fair tbh I know it’s hard but I think u should stick to ur guns
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Let him stick to his guns!!!
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Don’t you dare take the money out.
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It’s good to see a dad not give in!! She won’t learn anything by giving in to her every time! Tough love is the best lesson!
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I’d tell dad Lock in, until she’s 21 . She’s not going to be mature enough in less than a year .
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Leave it in there. She’ll come around eventually. Being young and dumb passes usually after she sees what a damn mess she’s in and gets better. Been there… Keep it as long as you can and I would go early hold on to a chunk even after incase she pisses through it . Cuz they will… she’ll need a back bone to fall on in a few years acting like that.
Let your husband handle it. He is doing what should be done.
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Not your child Not your business…Let your husband handle his child.
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I think you should try to get her to go out to breakfast or lunch with you as a girls day and tell her it’s just a peaceful day… don’t talk about anything going on. Treat her to a girls day. Do this for a little while. Gain her trust. Then slowly wait for her to open up about her relationship with him. Tell her you’re sorry, you love her, but the money is in her dad’s bank account and that isn’t your decision. He spoke his peace and that’s that. As his wife, you stick by him. Just like as her boyfriend’s girlfriend, she’s sticking by him. Get her to talk to you about school and what’s going on with that. What’s her plan? Try to mentor her to take a step in the right direction without saying “you’re going to do this!” Because it sounds like she’ll run if you do that.
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Well the money she has been receiving from SS was for you
Two to use to raise her. NOT SAVE FOR HER. If SS found out you were not using it and just saving it they would have taken it back. This happened FIRST HAND TO AN IMMEDIATE FAMILY
MEMEBR OF MINE SO DONT EVEN TRY AND SAY IM WRONG. If she takes you to court, they will not say it’s her money. It’s in her fathers name as of now. You’re more than likely protecting her by not giving it to her bc at least right now you know she has a reason to keep in touch with you. The boyfriend sounds like he will end up physically or mentally abusive and one day she will be back. Then you can help her.
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That really is not her money. That money is for the support of her. Talk to a lawyer. I’m not saying don’t give her the money if that is what you feel is right. Just maybe put it in a legal trust
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Tell her to get a job🤷♀️ she’s a big girl now. Or better yet tell the controlling boyfriend to support her financially. They’re playing in the big people’s world now.
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Let hubs handle it. It seems hes doing very well with it already!
Stay on her dad’s side since your his wife as well as her mom. Don’t let her walk over you to get what she THINKS she wants. Help her dad stick to his guns and hopefully she finds out soon that boy isn’t good for her. But she my also have other factors involved, … I’m just saying.
It’s no her money, it’s money for her dad to raise her. Keep it in a saving account.
I agree with dad here. She wants to be a big girl she can go get a job and figure it out. Then when she’s responsible she can get the $$
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Like he said and stick to what you said plus if he is harassing you file charges
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You’re married to your husband not her. Don’t mean to sound harsh, but your husband is 100% right in what he’s doing , and you should support him during this very difficult phase and just hope everything will be okay 
Let her take him to court, she’s fighting for money but how is she going to pay the retainer most lawyers require ? Her boyfriend is influencing her so that he can get a piece of that money.
If anything maybe speak to her that she was big enough to leave, she’ll be big enough to understand her money will be Hers when her dad mentioned. But if her “boyfriend” took her in, he should be able to support her, otherwise she’s going to be spending money on support him instead of her.
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I can understand why you want the drama to stop but I wouldn’t give in and give it to her. These people telling you your a piece of shit step mom are clearly handicapped and have never had to be a step parent. Just keep in contact and show her you love her but your husband is right in what he is doing and you will stick by his side because you want the best for her. If I was him I wouldn’t have let her move out but that’s on the past so keep moving forward and help her prepare for the adult world.
Personally I would kept it a secret from her about the money that’s just me Til she got much older. But definitely DO NOT give her that money. So she can blow all at once with who sounds like a horrible boyfriend she is with. After my fair share with losers like that the best situation is convinced her to dump him. Work on herself, go back to school and use that money for something positive.
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Tell her if she comes home and goes to school she can have half of what he has saved to buy a car, and get a part time job.
It’s not her money ,this is what children don’t understand the money is there to help with food rent clothes if she moved out she shouldve applied for Centrelink then they would’ve cancelled the payments and given her Living away from home allowance ,Listen to your husband it’ll be laughed out of family court
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I agree with your husband 
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Way to go dad! Stick to your guns! She wants to be a big girl then she can go get a big girl job…. To go with her “ big girl” attitude. 
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I totally get why you’re frustrated and ready just to be done, but your husband is 100% correct on this. Sounds like she has got herself in a very toxic situation and needs to come home honestly. But she definitely doesn’t need that “boyfriend” spending her money for her.
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Let her take you to court. She’ll lose. Lesson learned.
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Leave it in the account.
Let her dad handle it
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She’ll be 18 in November that’s around the corner just ride it out till her 18th day. Is she really going to file and pay court fees? By the time she gets a court date it will almost be November. If she’s not in school she should be working full time anyway
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Nope, she wouldn’t get a dime til 18
Legally it’s hers and stops at 18 but I don’t blame you both at all
Do you want to make your life easier or teach her to lead an honorable life?
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I’d stick with the current plan. If she is so worried about money I highly doubt she wants to pay court fees.
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Stay out of it, her father is her legal parent & provider
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You’re his wife. Stand by your man and support his decision. He is 100% right.
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You respect your husbands wishes and support him in whatever way he wants it handled. At 16-21 I learned my lesson … don’t get on her bad side just remind her that there will always be a home for her 
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That money is to be used to help raise her, it’s not hers.
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Stick to the plan dad has! I think you guys are really doing what’s best! It’s not like he’s stealing the money from her, it’s going into savings until she turns 18 & November isn’t even that far away. Weird the bf is helping her push the issue, I bet that’s part of his controlling nature & he wants access to the money himself.
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