What should I do about my step daughter?

I would be more concerned at the apparent domestic abuse relationship she’s in. Emotional and mental abuse is just as serious and detrimental as is physical abuse, sounds like her boyfriend isn’t a healthy choice for her.

Once she’s 18 and nolonger in school she will loose said income…I’m living the same exact situation. He is her father and the payee, aslong as he has the monies saved there isn’t much she can do, let her take him to court she will learn as did my boyfriends son. They think they know everything about life and they truly don’t. He even tried reporting my boyfriend to social security and it didn’t work out in his favor. Let her learn for herself

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Don’t. Leave it where it is. I went through something very very similar to this and trust me, not a good idea. And then they will eventually regret it. She can take y’all to court all she wants but the judge is gonna side with the father so ingheend she’s not getting whatshe wants either way. She’s gotta learn at some point in life and may as well be now before it’s too late.

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Stick to, honestly biggest thing is she is your husbands child - he said what he said and he wants to stick to that. So respect your husband and his parenting.

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She just lost her mother. Get her some help. Sounds like she has changed behavior since. Putting her out only solidifies the relationship with the boyfriend. This is sad. She isn’t ready to be on her own. She is a child still. Help her, don’t give up on her

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Why did you let her leave before she was 18 - she is having relationship with a person over 18 - social security is for her well being - food , board, and whatnot. Since you are the care giver it’s responsibility- and sounds like you did awesome- sounds to me both of them are unaccountable, irresponsible and I hope she don’t get pregnant- :flushed: anyways my friend keep a journal of any interactions and record any/all calls - harassment is hard to prove with out. That money you’ve been saving doesn’t Have to go to her - really - for all the years she’s lived with you all rent free - lol - you don’t sound like that kind of people - :nerd_face:I had say that - sometimes being a parent a little trivia knowledge is a good defense, my friend . Good luck with your young one - May Our Mighty Creator Bless You- :yum:and an extra Angel to help you :v:t4:

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Just give the money to the abusive boyfriend, he’s gonna get it anyway and when the Social Security stops in November he’ll probably dump her, the fact that your daughter chose to turn it on you when you set a personal boundry on his abusive behavior tells you all you need to know

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Stand with your husband!!

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Tough love. Your husband is right on this one.

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I would put it into savings and not give her a dime, and I think not 100 buys its till 19 of age now depending on what state your in. And I think they have to stay in school.

Stick to your guns. She will be back after he beats her one day. Shes still young. At 17, she thinks she knows it all.

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No stick to your guns don’t give in

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She can’t do anything in family court until she turns 18 as far as I’m aware, unless maybe she can prove against you that its not going into a savings account or being used for her in some way. I would stick to your guns…I wasn’t mature enough at 17 to use my college fund correctly and a controlling bf helped me lose it all. If you are doing what you say you are doing with the money then keep doing that and have documents ready if you get summoned to court to show where the money is going.

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I don’t understand why you even let her move out while she was under 18 to begin with. She is still your legal responsibility and liability.

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Stick to your husband’s demands for her. Stay unified. You will be glad that you did.

It’s a great thing that you guys are saving the money for her at all. Technically it doesn’t have to go to her at all. It’s to help care for her, which it sounds like you guys have been up until she left the home. She’s not 18 so legally there isn’t anything she can do and a judge will probably laugh her out of the court room for even behaving the way she has been. I would NOT give her a dime even after 18 until she matures. That money could really help her establish herself as an adult but the way she’s going and the relationship she is in now, it will be gone and she probably won’t have anything to show for it.

Taking you to court will cost her money…that I assume she doesn’t have. If you do end up in court present then proof you have that it’s in an account safe for her. Let the judge know with proof of course that the boyfriend is unhealthy and that they both harass you. No judge will order you to give her the money while she’s underage, but probably not at all honestly

Stick to your guns but I would call social security first becauße if it’s behave cos her mom think I’d get their oppion case she m8gh already called them

Stick to your guns. Cos the minute u give her that card that BF is going to b in heaven and stay even longer. Hopefully he pisses off soon and shes back home cos shes broke. Dont give her a single penny u know he will disappear soon x
Take it from someone who left there mummy at 15 these boys dont stay when theres no money x

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Once she drops out of school she will. No long get the money. You and your husband are doing the right thing

Stay out off it. Stand with your husband.

Don’t do it let her take you to court ,she’s not going to like what the judge is going to say.

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Do what the husband says . If you have to take her to court and explain what is going on .I’m sure the judge will agree with husband.
It’s ashame our young don’t listen. I hoping and thinking if the boyfriend can’t get the money he will leave her alone and she comes to her senses .

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It is his choice not yours. Even if you raised her she is his blood. The little brat needs to get rid of the loser she is with. He will blow her money. User.

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If she drop out of school u can not get ss no more your husband needs to turn that in to ss other wise if he doesn’t turn it in he will have to pay all that money back it happen to me 2500 I owed them

Ss will tell u the same thing

I think the boyfriend is chirping in her ear. And what happens when the money runs out ?

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I’d back my husband. 18 is not an adult. No matter what they literally are kids. Whether it’s her or him demanding the money it’s not going where’s it’s going to be needed most likely. So it’s good he’s (your husband) is setting it aside and when she’s an adult and goes to SSA she can give them her information to get it deposited to her directly. Let them take you to court. At least in court maybe they can explain why they need the money right now. It’s sad and crappy but hopefully he will leave and you guys can repair your relationship.

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Your husband is correct and I would back him. His daughter is in a bad situation and as long as you. Stick to the original plan there’s a chance she may see the light.

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Don’t give her the money. Keep it. Cross your fingers she sees him for what he is and comes home

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Back your husband! He knows what he is doing!

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Let her take you to court, can you imagine going in front of a family law judge and showing them that you have proof of all the money be there in a savings account proof that you’re telling her she can have it as long as she maintains her grades and she’s doing this to her family? The judge will ripped her a new one

In the meantime, if she’s threatening you guys maybe take a restraining order out on the boyfriend at least and block all forms of communications to her was sent her a message saying that you still love her do you want the best for her she can contact you when she’s 18 but until then she needs to leave you alone

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First of all, it sounds like the boyfriend is into some things he shouldn’t be and dragging her further and further into his shady lifestyle. (I say this because I’ve lived it) Secondly, she obviously is not responsible enough to attend school properly or make good decisions for herself and her future much less to manage a lump sum of monthly income… I think it’s a wonderful idea to put it away for her. Third. They obviously have no money, which is why they’re harassing you guy for the SSI… so how are they going to pay a family court attorney and take you to court? They’re not. They could potentially file a petition with the court system but that costs money also, which they don’t have. Tell her the day she chose not to finish school, is the day the money stopped and even if you wanted to give it to her, you are not able to do so because that money has to be paid back to SS. I deffinatley would call and find out your options and rules you have to obide by with SS. I don’t believe you are required to physically give the recipient the income if they are a minor, I believe as long as you can prove the income is being used for the recipient you can use the money as you see fit. BUT I could be totally off base with that…

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She really isn’t aware of every other situation in the world or she would have took that opportunity and thanked yous xx

Stick to your guns. She’s gonna regret this one day

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noooo stay out of it let dad take care of it

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Tough love. I’d support his decision

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Survivors benefits stops when the child graduates(or drops out) of high school or 2 months after they turn 19, whichever comes first. If you’re step daughter officially signed out of school it needs to be reported and the income will stop all together. Maybe dad should let her know this and it will entice her to go back to school this year. If she still chooses not to, have dad report that she is no longer in school, has dropped out and moved out and and there will be no more payments for her to harass you about. She will have go make her own money

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The Social Security money is to be used to support her, it is not hers. There is a big difference.

If dad clothes her, feeds her, covers her medical, all that comes with raising a kid. Then he is spending the funds appropriately

She will only draw that till her 19th birthday if she is not in school. Dont give in

Stick to your guns. You can’t give in. Some day she will see the picture. Trust me.

if she wants to act all grown and stuff and be disrespetful, she should be treated as an adult and be forced to get a job (like adults do) and make money instead of wanting a handout like alot of people nowadays. i think dad is doing the right thing an

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Call the cops on her and have her sent off for nit going to school. It may be the only way to get distance between her and her abuser and around others who will tell her the same maybe even a therapist bc she won’t listen to you most likely or anyone until she is away from the abuser. I’ve been abused and also have a young neice that went through this and we both have autoimmune disease she lost her baby and he almost starved her to death too he and his mom tried to get her check in their name and I swear I think the plan was to let her die and keep the check going fraudulently we only got her back bc she was hospitalized and we were able to get her to agree to have him escorted out. My abuser got to me at this age too and I am devastated with all I lost from life bc of him and his jealousy including college but so much more even now bc of the autoimmune issues. This abuse will kill you physically as much as it harms emotionally mentally financially and spiritually. He is 18 see if there are charges you can get against him to get her back. Do the most while you still can.

I agree with him. Stick to the agreement.

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Let her take you to court

Your husband is 100% doing the right thing. They are clearly broke. They’re not going to court. Boyfriend is clearly bad and would take her money and blow it.

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I’m with dad on this one. Don’t bend. The boyfriend is obviously trouble and she doesn’t seem responsible enough to handle herself. My best advice would be not to enable her I guess. Wait for her to come to her senses, because she will inevitably realize that her boyfriend is no good and she’ll come back to. I just hope it doesnt take something horrible to make her realize she’s going down a dark path.

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I would have told her she could move when she turned 18, and wouldn’t give her the money until then.

My first thought when I read this was Get her out of that relationship at all costs!!

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Your husband is doing the right thing. Don’t go against him. Not only will she not learn to follow rules it could cause problems between the 2 of you