Stick to it. I’d love to see what Judge Judy would say to her if she were on the bench…lol
She would squander all the money. And honestly, unless your name is on that account, you can’t take it out. She’ll come around.
Get her away from the bf… do not give her the money
Listen to your husband …this controlling boyfriend will take her for everything she’s got and then some then dump her
Dad is correct. We deal with this for my job. And boyfriend will just take everything anyways
Stick with your husband she is being reckless
Stick to your original agreement. Rewarding her for her poor choices won’t teach her
Money stays put until she’s 18. Period.
Let her take you to court, a judge won’t side with her. Call her bluff and stand your ground.
They sound like a Karen and Ken. You are grown adults. Dont let her have her way. She sounds entitled asf. You need to stick to your guns. Let them take you to court. Keep all the texts, messages and call her on her bluff.
I think dad should stick to his guns. She will learn and hopefully later be thankful. I know it’s hard to watch mama but sometimes kids need tough love.
Stay out of it. It’s between her and her father.
Let her take you to court
Dad’s got it, just keep with it. And about the boyfriend, I was in a situation like that and my parents tried warning me. Unfortunately, I didn’t listen and it quite frankly kept me with him longer. That was something I had to figure out on my own.
Dad’s got this…stand by him
This is normal problem for teenagers, tell her to take you all to court, really should just be wasting money because, by the time she goes to court she’ll already be 18!
You need to just stay Out of it
Dad is doing the right thing. And you need to back him on it. You should not try to be an enabler to help her throw her life away. If shes with a controlling boyfriend then you can bet every dollar in that savings account that it would become his as soon as you gave it to her. And then most like all be blown and gone in less than a few months
I married a control freak at age 26. Didn’t know it at the time. Almost 18 years of marriage, 3 wonderful children. He was emotionally and abusive to my oldest and myself. Oldest is now 32 and, although doing good, will never be the person who should have been. I wish I could talk to her…
Leave it in the account! She can have it when she’s 18.
While I think morally its correct what you are doing but if she has moved out the money is hers I would give her all the money because if she dose take u to court she will not only be able to get that money but she could get more because u guys are with holding it
Stick to your guns chances are the boyfriend is one pushing this and she will be bullied into handing the money to him
Stick to your guns maybe she will dump the boyfriend and come back home
Support your husband in his decision.
Sounds like your husband needs to grow up and make his daughter get back into school. What kind of parent tells their 17 year old to leave and let’s them run around god knows where with what sounds like an abusive boyfriend. I would never do that to my kids.
The husband/dad is right…u have to stand ur ground with teenagers…and where are the truancy people at? Their education is soo important…not boys.!!!buy her something with the money when she needs it in only her name…make her as responsible as she wants to be. A car so she dont have money, or a studio and rent…they need to LEARNNN. The world is not nice…
Your husband is right! She’ll turn 18 soon then she can have it. Family court would laugh at her. Don’t give in momma, it’s hard but yall are doing what’s right
He’s definitely got the right idea but i can understand how you feel. Whatever happens you need to do it as a team. Can you try family counseling?
She’s bluffing. Tell her to go to court.
Not til 18…then it’s hers. She’s going to blow it and will learn a very tough lesson but she needs to learn it.
It’s her money and she has moved out. She turns 18 in 2 months. Give her the money.
Its her money! Give it up
I’m pretty sure if she’s not in school, the money will stop at 18, maybe before. And social security can make him pay it back
When my Dad died, my brother and I got his social security until we turned 18. Then it stopped.
He could get into trouble he is the guardian of her therefore the check is in his name until she turns 18 so as long as he hasn’t used the money and has been saving it in an account for her let her try to go to family court and sue y’all surely she couldn’t win I don’t think a judge is gonna agree with a teenager misbehaving rather than a father who is doing the right thing
Sounds like everyone is being really immature in the parenting department and failing this girl.
“If you don’t like it, leave” is such lazy parenting. She needed a parent. Not a “this is hard, so I give up.” Guardian.
Whether you give her the money now or in a couple months she is likely to blow it all either way. I would just stick to giving her the money when she is 18.
Listen to your husband on this one.
I think what he is doing is right and in all reality it is probably the BF pushing for it and she needs to get away from him
Do not undermine her father, yes she’s your daughter to going behind his back will cause a whole other set of drama down the line. Speak to your husband & make sure you’re on the same page. Your daughter will come to her senses eventually & dump him until then stick to what you’ve already told her & make sure she knows she can always come home if she wants/needs to.
Save the money so she has a safety net when she finally leaves the asshole. She will be thankful. As she is is currently a minor nothing is hers. He is the payee so honestly he can’t get in any trouble
I think you guys are in the right. Honestly and truly, so I went through this situation being in your daughters shoes. I moved out at 15/16 with my boyfriend at the time. I ended up getting the money til I was 18 BUT I blew it all and had nothing at 18. I ended up on a very bad bath and being abused by that BF of mine and ended up in the same boat after that with no money and pregnant. I regretted all my decisions. I learned the hard way, but my now husband and I have made a life with two beautiful kids he took on my oldest and we have one together in a beautiful home. But it wasn’t easy getting here. I think you guys are doing her right by putting it in the savings til 18 because it sounds like it’s the boyfriend talking not so much her. She’s brainwashed
I don’t know what state you are in, but in Ky. You are legally responsible for a child till they turn 18. It would be illegal to kick them out of the house, or let them leave before 18. Also it is illegal to quite school before the age of 18 here, and the courts would be after them. You need to check the laws in your State, because here it would be illegal to still draw those checks and not go to school. The parent would be responsible to repay all of the funds.
Listen to your husband
Your husband made the right decision. She can take him to family court all she wants to, but the judge would rule in your husband’s favor. If social security knew she moved out and dropped out of school, they would stop the checks immediately.
I would give it to her at the age of 18.
If she is not 18 put her back in your house fuck the boyfriend no more contact when she turns 18 then she can fuck up her life but not untell
Her SSI money is like child support its to pay her portion of food , rent bills etc… not a savings. SHECWAS LUCKY that u were able to do it.
I wud do a spread sheet and say for example 4 people live in house
Ur 1/4 of rent is $300 a month
Ur 1/4 of food a month is $400
Ur 1/4 of electric a month is $50
Ur 1/4 of internet is 35$ a month
Ur cell phone is $100
Ur clothes, ur actives, etc.
So basically you owe us money!!!
SHE CANT DO SHIT
Trust me I know I have to submit paper work I take care of my sister, her meds, and her diabetic foods alone etc use up all her check
She will no longer receive money after she turns 18 unless she is still in school which she is not so go ahead and give it to her on her q8th birthday and be done
It’ll be for her own good to put your foot down but do it with love
Make her wait until she’s 18. Your husband isn’t in the wrong.
Let her try and go to family court. It’s highly unlikely you’ll get a court date BEFORE she turns 18 when she’ll be receiving the money anyways. Let her and the bf waste their money on a lawyer. You are doing everything correctly. Stick with your husband sticking to his guns.
Stay out of it and let her Daddy handle it.
You’ll talk if and when she is courteous. Tell her she is always welcome to come home.
Until she is in a bad relationship, she won’t leave. Remind her you live her. Don’t address the money or him
I’m curious how that works, does she get money up until 18 or does she continue to get money after 18 up until a certain dollar amount?
The money stops when she’s 18 unless she’s a student. She’s not actually entitled too any of that, it’s too be used for her care as child support. Let her get mad, its gonna get her nowhere. Family court isn’t gonna be able too help her. My dad died when I was young and my mom received the same thing for my sister and I
Support your husband. Sometimes the right thing is hard to do. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Don’t give in. Let her dad handle this.
It’s actually money that was intended to be used to support her. So, TECHNICALLY, you don’t have to give it to her. However, since your husband made an arrangement, I’d follow his lead.
If this had been my situation, I would have never promised the money to her. I would have secretly socked it away in a savings account and given her a lump sum when she was settled & mature enough to handle it
Wait til she’s 18, she is being a brat and doesnt want to follow the rules handed to her, then she can wait and learn some patience
Your husband is right. Stay out of it.
Why would you give her anything when she didn’t do what she sed she would? She’s only 17 and shouldn’t have been allowed to move out. You should be on your husband’s side because he’s right. He’s going to give her the money when she’s 18, that only 3 months away. She doesn’t have the money to take him to court and it would probably take 3 months to get a court date anyway. Don’t go behind your husband’s back that’s wrong.
No make her wait till she is 18!!!
Stick to your guns
He is right, she will get it when she is 18, he is still responsible for her going to school and all until she is 18
That money will be gone immediately if y’all hand it over to her when she turns 18.
You should make it till she’s 21
Let her take you to court. She is 17 once you tell the courts she left with the boyfriend who isn’t a minor she will be considered a run away and he will get in trouble for harboring a run away. They will get them selfs in legal trouble if they try
She lost her mother, cut her some slack!
This girl needs compassion, she’s been through hell!
Stay out of it let her take you to family court she was set rules and her dad stuck with them. Let them see her absences and grades and the judge will agree she is no adult and will not side with her.
Support your husband. Stay out of it but let him vent.
Your husband is correct. If she doesn’t follow your house rules she should be disciplined.
If she’s not enrolled in school she is no longer eligible for SS benefits. And I believe she can at 17 become her own payee if she goes to the SS office but again she must be enrolled in school
Don’t do it. It’s not your place.
Do what you’re doing and see if there’s a way to continue to withhold it after she’s 18 as long as you sign paperwork to not use it. She will blow it all and it will be of no benefit to her future. She will soon realize that this was a very bad decision and she can use that money to try to rebuild her life
Stick to your guns and wait it out.
Sounds like boyfriend needs 5 minutes with me behind the woodshed , maybe then he would see more clearly how this ends bad for him…thinking he is trying to get her money …don’t give in Dad stick to the plan.
I would not undermine the father. It will cause problems in your marriage. He is her father let him decide. If he made his decision you back him up 100% nothing less. Unless you want trouble in your marriage.
Why would you give in…she’s being manipulative and acting like an entitled brat… She ai t going to school tell her to get a job and show she can support herself…the school of hard knocks is a tuff one… But you are not teaching her any thi g if you give into her… …
Let her take you to family court .bring her school records once the court sees that she is no longer in school they will contact
Aside from the fact that it would be a total betrayal of your husbands trust to withdraw the money for his daughter, when he has already said “no” to her, I think you need to consider that, although you’ve been in their lives for 9 years now, this situation predates you and if you interfere with your husbands handling of it, you and him WILL (and should) have issues.
Out of respect for my husband and my relationship with him, I would be stepping back and staying out of it. You can discuss it privately with him - with the understanding that you are in an advisory (not decision-making) position, you can even empathize with her about her situation (if you can remain objective) but, for the sake of your relationship, you should be supporting him and presenting a united front with him.
I would make her wait till AT LEAST 21 and let her take you to court.
Don’t do it! She’s only trying to get the $ for what sounds like a not so good boy! The sooner that ends, the better.
Do not give it to her! You would only enable her behavior I’ve not only been the teenager like this but so has my sister (I’ve grown up and understand better now because my daddy and mama didnt enable me but my sister not so much because shes the baby and was enabled.
Make sure the dumb rump of a boy friend goes to court also so the judge can the little rump for what he is.
Support your husband. He is right
Stick it out. If she turns 18 in November there’s more than likely not a way for her to get a court date if she even tries that route before then so either way she will have to wait it out and she would have to have the money to take yall to court so let her wait and learn her lesson. This will pass
I received s/s for my daughter… I called S/S right before I started getting the checks… The money is for providing a roof over her head and buying clothes for her school, and its for school supplies and food for her to eat if she gets in trouble with the law and S/s finds out her dad stops getting the money. You tell her go ahead take me to court. That money is not for her to just go blow it on bs no. That money is to support her until she 18 that boy is pressing her stating its her money no it money to provide for her not her stupid boyfriend, my daughter friends where telling her the same thing … Thats your money …no its money for me to help take care of you her dad can go buy a car with that money so he can get her back and forth to school to the dentist and doctors appointment her activities.
If she leaves and lets say she goes to grandma house to live that money ( check) goes to her grandma to buy food, clothes etc… To make sure she has everything she needs.
Stick to you’re guns keep doing as you are he’s mentality and problely physicaly abusing herr
Don’t give in because then she will think she won!
That money is for her care. As long as though he is not spending it on anything he is fine. Let her hire a lawyer. She will quickly find out she had to emancipate herself.
There is nothing they can do she is not of age he is the legal guardian so therefore he controls the money. He’s not spending it its put up. She can do nothing.
Do not give her any money, even when she is 18. Obviously she isn’t mature enough to handle the money. To be honest, that money is to help raise her and it is not to be given to her at any point. It is for shelter, food, clothing, etc. I think is great that you are putting in a savings account and planning to give it to her but I would give her to her once I see that she is responsible and able to handle the money for something positive like some type of school or something. She is young and impulsive and obviously her boyfriend is also adding to this situation. You should keep the money in the savings account or invest it and give it to her once she has mature some because there is no expectation that the money is to be given to her. This is for the adult to support the child. If she decided to leave then she is refusing support from the parent and therefore refusing that money as you didn’t kick her out but she left on her own. The shelter and food are still there for her but she is refusing to take it.
I would do exactly what her dad decides. Like it or not he is he only parent.
Social security needs to know she isn’t living in the household anymore. My boys both get social security. That is one of the stipulations that you need to report. If the child moves, moves out, if anyone moves into the household. And she might be able to go to social security and have this boyfriend switched to her payee. Since he’s of legal age. My mom had guardianship over my children for 3 months before. She went and had it switched without me being there. To her as their payee. Just giving a heads up. Good luck.
And if s/s finds out she moved out they stop giving the monies to the father.
Do exactly what you said the 1st time
See you in court sweetie
Stick With Your Husbands Decision
When she turns 18 it is her money, social security doesn’t care if you think she can not take care of it. She will spend it the way she want.I have been there. I would take money out and put it into a different account until she is smart enough to appreciate it.