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QUESTION:
“I am a mother to a beautiful two year old boy with my amazing husband. My husband has two other kids from previous relationships. His firstborn is a great kid but his second oldest is a terror. He is 9 years old and has been apart of my sons life since he was born. He also has a 6 year old brother and a 3 year old sister at home with his mom. He has said to me and only me “I don’t care if my brother (my son) dies” “I wish he wasn’t here.” Not only that but he has abused animals in the past and has a horrible habit of lying along with bullying kids who are his brother and sisters age because he says “I think I’m better than them” His mom does absolutely nothing about it and doesn’t take anything my husband tells her seriously. I’m getting to that point that I’m terrified of having him around my son since my son can’t telling me exactly what happened (if something ever did happen). Please any suggestions or advice will be greatly appreciated.”
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
“This child sounds like he’s in early stages of being a sociopath or psychopath. You need to get him into therapy treatment or to see psychologist. Do NOT neglect this behavior, it can become very serious. I don’t think it’s safe to leave your other children alone with him ever. He needs serious help. Abusing animals and hurting other children are main aspects of an onset psychopath. He’s showing he lacks empathy and compassion for others, that’s sociopathic tendencies. I hope you find help”
“We have a 4 year old with the same issues his stems from trauma caused by his birthmom while we were fighting for custody. We had to admit him into inpatient not just for the facts he says things but he also tries to act upon them. We have good periods then go through periods of regression again. My advice is find a therapist psychologist have testing done and never leave him alone. He may need to be on meds. It definitely won’t be easy or a quick fix we’ve been at it for 2 years and this week was one of his worst even with meds”
“Dad needs to get him in therapy ASAP! This is normal behavior to say I wish they weren’t here but it’s usually jealousy… his situation sounds far more serious though and now is the time to turn things around for this little guy or it will never happen.”
“When the child is with you record what he says at all times, video him abusing other children then call child services give them your evidence, advise them that his mother is aware but refuses to act. They will take it from there you need to protect your child. If your husband won’t do anything you must, because if another child gets hurt you will feel guilty”
“Ive been through a similar situation…first step is to talk w school they do testing and will set you up with services …also look into children’s mental health services asap the sooner the better”
“My personal opinion is mom, dad, and you need to sit together and talk about him getting help. It may or may not get worse. But that’s definitely not okay.”
“It’s not going to do your husband any good to tell his ex anything he has to take action for his son. The fact that he knows that this has been happening and he hasn’t gotten him any type of help yet no counseling not seeing a doctor that’s a big deal. And I’ll tell you this the day something happens to your son, God forbid it, call the police immediately I know that he’s your stepchild and that you love him and you want to do things the easy way but the day he crosses the line you see him hurting another animal you see him hurting another person you call the police he needs serious helping if his parents are going to do it you have someone intervene call child services. Is not normal for a child to hurt animals … to be jealous of siblings is one thing but hurting animals is a completely different ball game.”
“When the 9 year old is over. Keep your son close. Always have eyes on him. Until your son is at least old enough to talk.”
“His mom may need to take it seriously due to the fact that she has younger kids too and he could harm them. The son needs some therapy to see the core reason for this and try to fix it before it’s too late. I would suggest all the parents get together and have a co-parent meeting to discuss this.”
“Set up cameras in the home. Monitor the behavior and then set up some type of counseling for him”
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