Give her the wrong chapel and wrong time. 
It’s totally not ok to have the ex there who would want them there… but if her son was close to your fiancé maybe including him would be ok.
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I cannot believe how many people are ok with this rudiness. It is not ok to invite yourself to someone else’s wedding. You need to tell your fiance you are not ok with this and if he doesn’t step up and tell them this is not ok then maybe there shouldn’t be a wedding.
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Wait is the ex coming w her son? I say if it’s just the son let him join the other kids since they are all siblings in some way. BUT if his mom is planning on coming w him, no way.
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First this is not a conversation to have with the child but the mother. Children have to be taught etiquette and your fiancé has to learn to deflect. I have to talk to “Mary” about the guest list first. When a man has a relationship with a child it’s not going anywhere so deal with it. If you’re can’t you may want to rethink that wedding. As for the mother no she doesn’t need to be at your wedding. As for a family vacation did you really expect her to not be a part of your life? What were your going to do, ship his son to boarding school? Are you really sure you want to be a stepmother? Are your sure you can treat his first son equal to any child you have with him? It a phone call “Matt said you all coming to vegas to the wedding. Unfortunately we won’t be able to accommodate you at the wedding and won’t have time to mingle before the vacation. I hope you understand.” Also this will need to addressed with his family. “Susie will be in vegas. Please do not try to slip her into any wedding events. She will be in our lives forever but she won’t be in our marriage.”
I could see maybe both kids bc he was in both of their lives. The ex however shouldn’t invite herself.
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I understand the issue. I do.
But I guess the best way to look at it, is let the boys be around him. Make sure his ex doesn’t cause a scene. If she tries, tell them to leave
You people need to reread this. It’s the ex’s son from before the fiance was with the ex. Not his son
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How old is the ex’s son? Did your fiancé raise him? How long were they together? Several questions you haven’t answered to give a good answer. BUT, if the boy wants to attend the wedding of his “step-father” I say good that he has a good relationship with him.
On the other hand, the ex should not go to the wedding. If the son is very young, have another adult take the initiative to chaperone him during the ceremony.
It sounds as if there’s a communication issue with you and the future husband and if you don’t start communicating now, this marriage isn’t going to last either!
Hell to the fuck no, if she isn’t invited then she can’t come. Period. You can’t just invite yourself to someone else’s wedding or vacation time.
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I would tell her and her kid no way in hell.You and your kid are not invited.And if the guy you are marrying is not ok with you not wanting them there he doesn’t care about you.
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Why is this an issue? The real question is “Why didn’t they receive a cordial invitation?”
Regardless of whether or not your husband to be is the biological father you have to realize that he was in this young boys life before he was in yours.
Make the best out of it and get over it.
He wants them there.
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Is it really that big of a deal? Blended families are like that! I have 2 girls my husband has 2 boys so WE have 4 kids!!
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Has he been Dad to her 1st child? That would make sense for him to be there. Not the ex.
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Put your foot down now. Or you’ll regret it your entire marriage.
The ex who shares a son with your fiancé, had a son before all that, and this is the one who wants to join his siblings on their vacation? He is that mans son and if you invited the son he shares with the ex but left out the sons brother then shame on you for making a big deal out of it. He invited himself because y’all are taking his sibling! And his mother is going because she has to take him because you guys didn’t invite him. How sad for any child to be left out. People who choose blended situations and then have the nerve to complain about said situations upset me. Be a better woman
Sounds like your fiance has already handled it and told them that y’all would meet them out there and nothing was said about them flying out with you. I don’t see a problem other than the bride herself making them.
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That’s a tough one. I know after my parents got divorced they didn’t go to each other’s weddings. It was awkward for them… now if the oldest kid wanted to go I could understand that. I say as long as she’s been respectful and not malicious towards you whats the harm? Your husband will have to co parent with her still. But I can also understand it makes things uncomfortable for you.
past time to put your foot down, there is something called security but they’re probably just tooting their horn…good luck
Ruin it? Wow. I’d be over joyed to have my step daughters Mum at the wedding showing support. Sometimes it’s about being the adult and the bigger person and showing your kids there’s a better way of being a split family.
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You didn’t mention ages of the boys? I’m assuming the ex is bringing their mutual son with her son from a previous relationship.
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It is your wedding, you have a say. You need to say something to your partner though.
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Umm no the child yes because even though not biologically his if they have a father/son relationship then he should definitely be there but not the ex and I would be definitely saying so
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Uha my fiance has a son with his ex wife and i love him to death and he is welcome to our wedding and she is not! I wont allow it! U shouldn’t either! U should tell him how u feel! U tell him our wedding is off if he cant agree to it
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If he was close to her oldest that wasn’t his, could you, would she be ok just letting him tag along?
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Cant her eldest son just go with you guys. The EX does not need to be there at all xx
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Take the son with you
I would have lost my mind.
say how you feel about her. the children he helped raise should be greeted as family. it is up to you to make your marriage a happy one or a miserable one over your feelings towards the nutjob that came before. Imagine if she is doing this to piss you off…bingo she won. F her but embrace the children
Soooo much is missing here. Everyone is assuming the dad had a relationship with the ex’s oldest— if that was the case, why wouldn’t the father have included him in their plans from the beginning. There’s got to be a reason there. I find it really hard to believe that a couple who is choosing to take their kids on the “honey moon”/vacation after the wedding— would purposely exclude a child (IF the kid is even a kid! This “child” could be older for all we know). If you’ve ever made a wedding guest list you know that there is a lot that goes into deciding who gets invited and who doesn’t— especially a destination wedding. Also— yes, the wedding is the COUPLES day and not just the brides— however, if having someone there that the fiancé has been intimate with and would make the bride uncomfortable in anyway— that should be a no brained. I wouldn’t want to detract from their special moment
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So you only wanna include the kids that physically came out of you or him, but not any other kids he may have ever considered his? Selfish much? You’re talking about someone’s children. He’s not some crazy wedding crashed who’s showing up to drink all your booze and get free food. He has a familial connection to your fiancé. Also, idc who it is. You aren’t taking my kid to Vegas without me going too. You need to remember that it isn’t just YOUR wedding and YOUR day. There’s someone else involved in the wedding and he should be able to have ALL of his children there. My husband has a kid who isn’t biologically his. It’s his exes daughter from before they got together, but that’s still his daughter and I wouldn’t even think of leaving her out of something like that, or getting mad because she’s included.
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I can’t even with this post 
you sound selfish and immature they are family bio or not he raised them and they want to be there and part of this occasion why are you acting like a selfish teenager🤦
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Sounds like you’re the one ruining it
If his step son is close with him he should be invited and come along with his brother, the ex wife well not so much .
Yea you already said ok and the children should be invited I would be second guessing marrying you
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Wow. Y’all are the cattiest bunch of women I’ve ever seen.
Why should this woman be forced to have her husband’s ex at her wedding, that was not invited?
If my ex was getting married, and my kid wanted to be there, I’d take my kid to and from where they needed to be and the stay the hell out of the way. Sound stop me like y’all use your kids as an excuse to stay in your ex’s lives. Lol.
The ex sounds super manipulative. Why wouldn’t she just explain to them how it would hurt her son, as he considered the man his dad.
Plain and simple.
But no, NO ONE should be forced to have their new spouses ex at their wedding.
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When they call to hook uo dont answer toyr phone
Sorry but too much is being made out of th without all the details. How old are the kids? Does the step father still see each other ordid the ex cut that off when they divorced? This all sounds like the bride is having a breakdown. Has the stepfather asked his mother who would be taking charge of the boy during the ceremony/reception? Has she to give more info.
It seems it’s all about her. Maybe she should ask her fiancé what he wants.
Personally I think if her soon to be husband was so close to this kid that is his ex’s, he would have mentioned to his new soon to be wife that he wanted him included. There is no reason he could have taken this kid without the ex if they were so close…like you all are insinuating. Secondly like hell would I want an ex at my wedding. That’s the special day for the soon to be wife and groom- she is an ex for a reason. Why relationships fail, because today too many people put their nose where it doesn’t belong!!!
These comments definitely didn’t disappoint 
ol girl needs to recheck herself on this one, very immature and selfish.
If it’s just the kids that’s one thing, but I don’t want to celebrate as newly weds with my husbands ex by my side so I feel you. I would honestly call the ex, or have your fiancé call her and let her know that you feel uncomfortable with her going. If she’s half a decent human she will understand. I would let her kid come though because it is the other kids sibling regardless
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Even after my mom and stepdad divorced and my stepdad remarried and they had kids we were never treated any different. We still spent the summers with them and they came and visited us. Until the day he died my kids were his grandkids. No to the ex but yes to the kid. Kids don’t choose the situation that they are in; the adults do the choosing.
Nope he should politely let her know she is not on the list
Yah I’d tell him to pick