I am getting married in November. It is a destination wedding in Las Vegas. We are making a vacation out of it with our kids. My fiancé has a son from a previous relationship. Also, his ex has a son from a relationship before her, and my fiancé was together. Her oldest son (the one who is not my fiancé’s) just informed us that they are coming to our wedding and are going to go on vacation with us. What?! We have already sent out invitations, and she was NOT invited. My fiancé isn’t one to hurt anyone’s feelings or be the bad guy, so his response was, “oh, ok, we’ll just meet up with you guys out there.” Am I wrong to be furious about this? This is my wedding I’ve been waiting for my 38 years of life for, and I’m not about to have her and her son fly out with us and ruin it for me!
Woooow he deserves better
Wow. The kid probably sees him as a dad. He was is family once. I would run if I were him.
It’s not just YOUR wedding for one. For two of you’re “furious” discuss this with your fiancé and not Facebook.
I have questions? Would she ruin it? Did/does he treat the non biological son like his? Have you tried to get along with her for the sake of their kid together? (Just asking that one bc my ex husband’s wife is one of my best friends.) Does he want them there? It’s his wedding also.
You’re an idiotic cunt. Jealous hoe.
Wow…fuck that!!! Stand up for your self and make your voice heard!! No nope not at all thats bullshit …there is no reason they should be going with you…you need to put your foot down or else shit like that is gonna keep happening i feel…
Um not to be mean but if he was with her and that child who isn’t his was in the picture its kind of hurtful to the child for just ripping him away. If he still has a relationship with that child then that’s his child as well in my opinion. My stepkids are mine kids forever. My husband has treated my son like his own since day one. I don’t expect to rip him away from my son if we every part. I think you should really put your feelings aside and think about this child’s relationship with your husband. How are they going to ruin “your” day. What if they want to celebrate your union? I mean if I could have a great relationship with exes for my kids sake its all for the better. I think you need to sit down and talk to your fiance.
So is the problem that the son is coming or the ex? How will they ruin it? Is 2 people really a big difference?
I don’t think their should be an issue with the kid being there and going, but the ex too? That I don’t blame you for. But if that kid looks at him like a dad that should be a non issue
I think you and your fiance should have taken the non biological son with you and your biological kids, so that he was included. He obvs sees him as a father. That way the ex wouldn’t be needing to make the arrangements.
I think your guys needs to run for his life, shall we say selfish little girl?
Ok, I’ll be the one to say it. Why in the hell would I want my new husband’s ex at my wedding? That is a conversation the ex should’ve had with fiancé and allowed the son to go, not her. Do not use his son as an excuse to invite yourself. nope. Like who does that?
If he raised that kid and it’s also his sons brother then why not but I totally understand not wanting the ex.
Dang…thats some drama💯 so that’s a NO for me…the ex is not needed their an ex for a reason an don’t need to be included in future plans…dang these comments are harsh AF!!! People love them some drama…best wishes your way
Depends on the type of person she is. Inviting herself is ridiculous tbh. But if they are the type of people to ruin stuff, I’d straight up tell her she’s not going.
A lot of women think when they get married it’s “there day” when in fact it’s both yours and much as his! Does it bother you the other child is coming? Maybe he see’s him as a father figure? An the ex to be there hmm he should have asked you but I don’t see an issue with his child’s mother being there unless she is known for “drama”. My opinion tho
There are so many wedding going on in Vegas I thing your hubby said it right. Inform your host such person is not invited. No big deal let the staff do their jobs
Really?!?! Omg you said the boy would ruin it too??? I can understand you not wanting her there but that child is an innocent part of all of this. He obviously loves your fiance and wants to be at his wedding.
I think you need to humble yourself. That boy was a big part of your fiancé’s life for a period of time. He was a father figure to him. That kid should not be any sort of issue. I understand the ex but maybe she isn’t comfortable sending her kid there alone (or with you guys) and the kid really wanted to go. And from your comments I can see why.
Is there a legit reason why they weren’t invited in the first place? Ik things are limited due to covid and people are just inviting close friends and family and at that point I can see why the ex was not invited. And we all have to know the whole story. Maybe him and his ex was married a short time and he nvr bonded with the older child. We don’t know if BM is HC. We have to put our self in other shoes…
It sounds like they have a good co parenting relationship and you say her son, however your fiancé helped raised him. Blood doesn’t always mean family. Are your kids, his? If not and you guys separate down the road would it be ok for him to cut ties with your kids? You are 38 acting like a petty ass 20 year old and should be ashamed of yourself.
I get the kid, he’s probably been his father figure. So that I get. But the ex? No. I would tell the ex the son can go. But if she’s flying out there too, she can find something else to do during the wedding🤷
He needs to let them know that the son is welcome but the mother isn’t. Plain and simple.
Sorry but I wouldn’t want my fiance’s ex at my wedding either, I don’t blame you. Let the son go with you and your fiance and then there is no need for the ex to tag along…
Take it in stride honey! Maybe there intentions our pure. Wishing the very best for you and yours♥️
People it says she was not invited!!! That is so rude to invite yourself😆not very classy of the ex
Wouldn’t bother me at all. In fact if me and my boyfriend get married his ex will probably be one of my bridesmaids if I have any and if she wanted to be.
Invite the children
Her son, absolutely. The ex, no your fiancé needs to make it clear that she doesn’t need to be there.
I went to my ex’s wedding. I also went to his ex wife’s wedding to her new husband after her and my ex divorced. We had a good relationship tho. We co parented well and always attended get togethers that the others would have. We did it for the kids but that is how our relationship worked. So I guess I don’t see it super odd unless the relationship isn’t good.
Maybe the ex just thought she’d have a bit of a vacation while bringing her kids out for your wedding? Maybe she has no intention of attending the actual wedding…she might have plans to do something without the boys for a day 🤷
If the other kid isn’t a total trouble causing goblin and is close to your fiance, I’d let him come personally… definitely not the ex though… like GTFO that’s trashy af to invite yourself to an ex’s wedding…
It’s his job to tell her!!
My partner and I have discussed that when we get married my son’s father will be invited. Whether he decides to come or not is entirely up to him, but he will be invited for the benefit of my son and our coparenting relationship. However that is me personally. I can completely understand why y’all might not want his ex there and that is a decision for BOTH of you to make. The other child may still see your partner as their parent figure, so excluding him would probably hurt and destroy their relationship. However, keep in mind that the ex may not let him go without her since your fiancé is not his biological father. You may need to invite her for the benefit of his relationship with the child if it comes down to it, but do not exclude that boy.
I get why your mad but the fact that you just stated a child could ruin your wedding is insane to me. He is a kid. Her I get but the kid? Thats a little tacky
I highly doubt she wants to attend your wedding- no woman wants to attend her ex’s wedding, but she is putting her son first before her feelings.
You should have included the child as your finance has raised that boy. If his siblings are talking about the wedding all the time and he is left out that’s so hurtful for him. If you had invited the boy along with the other children and treated him like the family he is the ex wouldn’t feel she needs to come -
Wow that’s very be rude. She probably had her son say that to upset you. It sounds like they love drama. I’d talk to your fiance & tell them she’s not welcome. Possibly have security at your wedding venue or the groomsmen/guests escort their asses out if they show up. (bring pictures with you to show them).
I guess I don’t see The need to be upset with them coming. Yes she is an ex, and she wasn’t invited. But your SO and her do in fact have a child together, and there should be a relationship. I understand being upset that she just invited themselves, but why not make the most of it. I mean 1 woman is going to ruin your wedding day that you have been waiting 38 years for? Why let it ruin anything, and just enjoy the day with your family, the kids, and friends. I mean being a bridezilla about the situation isn’t going to help anything and cause more harm. And I mean it’s a child and the mother of your soon to be husband child, both important people in his child’s and his life. It kinda sounds like you’re being nasty. I mean it’s a destination wedding, they have all the right in the world to head out there, and vacation with son and brother🤷🏼♀️
He needs to man up and if he doesn’t it’s call off the whole damn thing time
I don’t see the issue with them going? Your husband was dad to that child for years, I could see him wanting to be there, and for his ex wanting to come with her kids since it’s out of state. It sounds like she is trying to be supportive of the kids and the marriage to me. I wouldn’t personally be mad about that. Y’all are going to be family. It sounds like they should have been invited, and not inviting them made the other child upset that he was left out so mom said “okay we will fly down there too”. Maybe the mom has no intentions of actually being at the wedding, and even if she did it doesn’t sound like a bad thing. If we had a big wedding we were going to invite both of my exes, their new wives and their other children. But we ended up just doing a small wedding with only our parents in our back yard and didn’t even have our kids there. We had them with family until after the ceremony and then had people over for a BBQ afterwards. We actually had my ex husbands other child’s mom officiate our wedding (because she became family to me after I married my first husband).
It sure seems like people are making a lot of assumptions on here. Everyone assumes her fiancée was a father figure to the ex’s older boy. We don’t know that. We don’t know if they were even in a long term relationship, or if they all spent time together or not. We don’t know if the ex is half way decent and not trying to start drama or if she has been trying to get him back. To even give advice on this, I feel like we would need a little more info. But, if she is not happy about the situation she should talk it out with her fiancée.
I don’t see anywhere this poster said the fiance was with the ex for years and helped raise him. It just says they have a child and she has one from a previous relationship, nor how old he is. Regardless, you don’t go around inviting yourself to other people’s functions. That’s rude and classless and you never force a kid onto anyone, it causes resentment. I’d be hella pissed!!
You scream bridezilla.
Clearly the exes son, who surely formed a bond with your husband, expects to be invited. I would question why in the world you didn’t think he’d want to come?!
And if he’s younger, I’m guessing mom feels more comfortable traveling with him. Honestly, the day is all about you two, you cannot be worried about others who are or aren’t there!
I could understand not wanting the ex there but to not invite a child that belongs to him screams" your a peice of shit" how exactly does a child being at your wedding ruin that for you unless you are a spoiled little shit head. For someone planning tgeir wedding for 38 years you think you would of learned some etiquette along the way.
You sound selfish. Its not o ly your wedding.
Ok but if he’s raised the son before yall met then that’s his child regardless if he’s biologically his or not. And the mom may not feel comfortable sending her son to Vegas alone, even if it is with his father figure and his new family.
Why wasn’t the child included with the other children in the first place ? Maybe if he was, then the mother wouldn’t feel the need to show up as well. You are marrying a man who has a relationship with a child that you already don’t want to accept sounds like a issue already . Kids have feelings , regardless of what anyone thinks!
I can understand the step son wanting to be at wedding but not his mother
It’s not just you getting married is it, your oh has a say
You sound selfish right now!
Just get along with the ex is it that hard. Youre marrying the love of your life. Imagine life with no enemies and no uncomfortable situations because you choose to be a mature adult.
Im best friends with my childrens fathers other baby mama. He cheated on ke with her and had a kid. My now bf raised my 5 kids and helped be a father figure for her daughter too. Life is better when everyone is mature.
Why the hell does the mother have to go?
Depends on how strong the relationship with her and the kid is
My Hubby has a son who isn’t his but raised him in his previous relationship. I’ve taken him in as my own, because to my Hubby, that’s HIS son and when we wanted to make a life together, it included him and his kids. I’ve accepted that. Might be different for your Fiancée, but being accepting isn’t hard. (Well, if its the ex showing up, than shoot! Yes, id be upset too!) It shows your character more than theirs. Congratulations on your wedding!
That’s weird af. Not worth fighting over. But your spouse definitely needs to talk to the other two. The son going is whatever. But the mom wanting to come it weird. I’d shrug it off and stop telling them details. Leave them clueless. Unless your new spouse want them there of course.
My son has a half sister on his dads side. Im no longer with his father but his sister came to my wedding with my now husband and her children now call me Grammy Parents don’t have to be blood. If he helped raise that child and was a father figure to him he should be allowed to be part of your family too. If you cant except all of your fiance’s past maybe you shouldn’t be his future.
My opinion is this… A child is a child. It doesn’t matter if they are biological or not. Maybe you all should have included him in the first place. Two maybe if you did the ex wouldn’t need to come along. Three not defending the ex but if i was in her place an it was my child an the way you talk i would feel like i need to accompany as well to make sure my childs feelings wasn’t hurt an included. Maybe the ex can watch all the kids an give you an the hubby time alone after. It sounds like your either immature or jealous of the ex
Naaaaaah! No way would I allow any X, Y’s or Z to my wedding not a chance at all! It’s YOUR wedding, you have who YOU want there. if you can’t be selfish on your wedding day then when can you be?!
Maybe just maybe she wants you to have a nice wedding. Find her a man to hang out with while she’s there
This is like a Hollywood movie script. You’re Sandra bullock and the ex is Cameron Diaz or Kate Hudson. Your fiancé is Ryan Reynolds. Movie title? “Nuptials in Nevada”
Is the ex actually planning to attend the wedding, or is she just escorting her son to Vegas? Because bringing her son to vegas so he can attend the wedding is totally normal (he shouldve been invited to begin with). But the ex attending the actual wedding? Weird. But also not worth the drama
Yea, you’re an asshole.
I can understand why you would be upset since she had invited herself (her and her son the SO and her don’t share) but you should have included the child they DO share. There will always be a relationship between the 2 of them because they share a child that’s a fact that you can’t change and really shouldn’t want to. You said y’all and the kids are going on vacation, implying either y’all share a child or children or you also have a child outside of y’all’s relationship. Why not include the one he had with the ex? That’s not a good start to being a step mother.
The issue for me is the fact that he and his mother decided to not only come to the wedding but vacation/honeymoon without being invited and didn’t discuss it. I would tell your fiance that he should inform his ex that her kid can come but not her.
I’m all for co parenting but the EX has no business around ur fiance when hes getting married. Like is she planning to cause drama to ruin the wedding or what? Send a wedding gift and let yall have yall’s time. Sounds like she cant let go.
Dry cut case… sorry you wasn’t invited!!! Btw congrats on your upcoming wedding
Lmao I hope they crash it
Some of these comments are very DISTURBING!! It is her wedding and it isnt fair, for un invited guest, to just make the choice to show up!! RIDICULOUS!!!
I doubt if she is going on your flight and spending the vacation with you, if her coming means his kids get to come, I think that’s reasonable, I mean I would rather her bring her kids to the wedding and then they can bounce instead of taking her kids with you and being with them the entire time. Pick your battle. She probably doesn’t want to vacation or even go to your wedding, maybe you should ask her about it.
Are you sure they are going to the wedding and not just the vacation? Also when you marry someone with kids this is the territory. Deal with it now. You will and should play second fiddle. She has 2 kids if one gets to go to Las vegas so does the other.
Who cares… get married and be happy.
Wtf well you are obviously old enough to stand up for yourself, so you should do so. And be straight up and say hell na y’all aren’t invited. Point blank period. Fuck that, it’s your wedding and it should be special and all your wishes. Hope you find the courage to do so because how you said you’ve been waiting for this day, so don’t let anyone you don’t want take over or have some type of control.
This is confusing to me honestly. So what I’m gathering out of this is his ex has two sons? One thats his bio and one that isn’t? Is that correct? If you only invited the bio son and not his brother maybe his brother was feeling left out so their mom decided she would take him so he didn’t feel left out. It doesn’t seem like she’s gonna cause drama about it just seems like she’s putting her kids feelings over her own. If you didn’t want the ex there maybe you should have thought about that before you left the other one out. Maybe she isn’t even gonna go to the wedding. Grow up and talk to her about it. Or tell your man to talk to her about it. But don’t exclude the child because that’s just plain wrong.
I personally think its kind of sad that you didnt think to include her other son. If he was married to her before you, he was probably a father figure to her son & treated both kids the same. I can see why he would feel left out and forgotten about if not invited. When you decide to marry someone you accept their past & what comes with it. I dont think the ex should of just assumed shes invited to the wedding though… thats a bit much. He needs to communicate with her, and ask her what her plans/intentions are. I dont think she has any agenda to ruin your big day so dont let it. Enjoy your day & forget the drama
This is why u have been single for 38 years doll x Sophia Poulos
Step son yes. Ex NO!
Tell them straight up. They aren’t invited.
Ware u from I was full sure most of da world was on lockdown?? If dare a party can I come 2
I would allow the child from previous relationship to come. If it makes you uncomfortable then please have your fiancé speak wirh his ex
Are the kids young? If not take them with you she does NOT need to be at your wedding if you didn’t feel the need to invite her by now
Don’t be a bridezilla!
Sounds like you and your fiancé need to get on the same page BEFORE you get married.
Sounds like your including your stepson in the vacation but that his ex wife had a kid that’s not his. And THAT kid said him and the ex wife where coming. Talk to your fiance because the ex wife and her kid should not be coming to your wedding or vacation
You really have a lot of growing up to do at 38…the ex has two sons, even tho one is his bio, he helped raise the other so you do not just dump a child especially that is your step sons half brother. Smh grow up you think that lady really wants to spend her time and money to go to your wedding? She’s doing it for her kids. You not gonna have much romance with kids there anyway so don’t do something you will regret and act like a total witch especially to a kid.
I thought I was seizuring trying to comprehend what you were saying about who had kids with who.
Ok… so? The oldest kid was probably being raised by your fiance before having a kid with her so the oldest probably has a relationship and bond with him as a father figure. If his biological son is going to be there, why not the sibling? It doesn’t sound like she’s trying to ruin your wedding, it sounds like the oldest child wants to come and mom is being accommodating. I mean, you are going to be a blended family so why not allow them to be there? If she wasn’t an ex, you wouldn’t have your fiance.
ask if she can babysit for your wedding night
When we got married in Vegas, like 20 people who weren’t invited came. Honestly, you wont notice and you wont have time for anyone else. Just enjoy it and make the most of it!
You don’t act 38. You forget your fiance’s former stepson has been in his life longer than the stepson has! And as for the ex wife, yeah not all that exciting but I’d be wanting to go as well if my kids were being taken out of state. And you say he’s not one for hurting feelings. Who’s? The ex wife’s? Because it sure doesn’t sound like he’s opposed to his son & former stepson being there… in fact, only you seem against this so fiercely. P.s. I’d worry more about a stranger ruining you wedding in Vegas than this
So I’d say it’s a bit extreme to not invite then to your wedding.
Now if they plan to be with you on your honeymoon then that’s another story.
I am assuming the Ex’s son has been in your fiancés life for a while, so i would think it’s okay that he come support his dad, even if that’s not technically his dad. They were stepfather/step son at some point.
As for the Ex, I’m not really understanding why she would want to go to your wedding? It doesn’t sound like you two are close.
I feel like there’s nothing wrong with the other kid coming as you’re taking his siblings and they probably just feel left out. The mom had no business going but in all honesty if you’re on good terms why not go. It’s clearly not a honeymoon because you usually don’t take kids to a honeymoon. I think you’re just being immature tbh. I have a stepson and he had a stepbrother, a stepfather, and a new baby sister. If I invited my stepson and it turned into a group thing I wouldn’t care. You put your feelings aside and make the best out of it for the kids. What’s wrong with you?
Talk to your fiancé and tell him you do NOT want his ex there and that he needs to stand by your side on this because it’s a big deal to you and if he goes the opposite way on that decision then you pretty much know how the marriage is going to work or not work.
Isnt it your fiance’s wedding too? Have you expressed your feelings to your fiance about this? If he is not able to speak up for you to his friends, family or anyone else your marriage might not last long.
We had some people just show up after saying no to coming and another couple decided to bring their kids when they never wrote down the right number of people. But if he is not his son then he should say something to the ex. That’s not right at all.
That is HIS son…welcome to blended families he chose you. Look amazing and don’t stress it.
My question is how long was he in the oldest childs life? If he raised that boy, biological or not, still his son and a shame to want to leave him out. Also if he has a child with another woman, that woman is now part of your family, not your enemy. Set an example and be the better person. The only person who can ruin your wedding is you.
While what they are doing is rude, you can’t prevent them from going to Vegas… but you don’t have to let them ruin your day either. Your attitude is under your control.