I’m so over this my 4 year daughter father he complans about everything and don’t help around the house and when he is home he will go into the room and sleep and don’t even help with his daughter til I start getting super mad at her for not listening or she is being really bad .he is Quick to blame me for her attitude or what I’m doing wrong so over this shit
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What should I do about this?
Communicate your needs/wants with him. If he’s unwilling to help…kick him to the curb. I would rather be doing it by myself than being miserable and worrying about someone else helping.
A 4yr old isn’t"bad". They’re curious about everything and trying to learn how things work. As far as your SO, Id make it known he needs to pick up the slack or he can watch you pack👏🏼
It’s called lazy parenting.Thats what your husband is doing.4yr olds need quality time being active with both parents.
A four year old child isn’t bad. They’re curious about everything and they learn by doing, seeing, touching. They’re balls of energy.
I would suggest having a conversation with him about how you’re feeling. If he thinks you’re not capable of parenting her, tell him that he is more than welcome to step in and do it better.
If you express to him how you feel/what you want and no changes are made on his part, it’s time to let him go. If you’re going to run a home and raise a child by yourself while you have a partner, you might as well just be by yourself!
4-year-olds are not going to listen so calm down. You’re really mad at him so take your anger out on him not her
Both of you are “bad parents”
1st off- Your daughter is 4 so why tf are you getting super mad at her??? Maybe you need an anger management class/ parenting class.
2nd- your boyfriend/bbd also needs to sign up for the parenting class.
Unfortunately “you” as a parent mirror the behavior that was done and taught to you. If you can’t realize that and break the cycle you’re going to have a hard time being a parent and your daughter is going to have a hard time growing up.
I feel bad for the 4 year old.
Having a partner like that is exhausting. You’re becoming aware of how it is effecting you in other situations and taking out the negativity on your precious little one. Use this as a wake up call and make the necessary changes.
need to communicate with him
If your 4 year old is “really bad” know that it’s learned behavior. She is learning every single day how to act by watching you and her dad if you don’t like her attitude fix yours!
While I understand the frustration, tell the father he can either be a partner and a father or he can leave. You don’t need that and quite frankly, your daughter doesn’t either. What I have found (and I’ve been a Momma for 30+ years) is that you as the Momma will set the tone of the WHOLE house. Your daughter is feeling the stress and acting out.
My ex was like that…“EX” …its not suppose to be like that
Stop letting him get away with it.
If you don’t help… you don’t get to complain !!! Tell him that.
Tell him that it takes two to tango 💁 which means he doesn’t get to pick and choose when he wants to help out let alone be a dad to his daughter. If he can’t start helping out time to move on
Talk to the man about doing his share. It was easier for me once the lazy man that stressed me out was gone from our lives. Its harder to be a good parent when you are dealing with a man that acts like teenager. So basically you have another kid. Hugs to you
If u have tried to talk to him and explain… a few times… then if he is still doing nothing… kick him out… u don’t need that kinda dead weight in ur life …
First do you work ? A hard working man needs rest after work. If you both work then yes he needs to interact with his daughter. If your a SAH mom figure things out. Women have done that since the beginning
Your mad at your man and taking it out on the kid… you’ll be sorry for this when your child grows up and doesn’t talk or have anything to do with you…kids remember… bottom line is the Mother is the one who is 99% of the time the care giver of children…been this way from the beginning of time…please stop taking your anger out on the child…they remember !!!
It’s easier to be a single parent than deal with a parent who refused to parent.
First, y’all need a sit down. Discuss expectations and what you will and won’t tolerate.
If he isn’t willing to help or compromise, why stay??
Stop tolerating crap bc you don’t want to be alone.
There’s a lot of things wrong with this post. Sounds like you need to reevaluate pretty much your entire life.
Sounds like he’s the one that is causing frustration for you so any little thing the 4 year old does gets on your last nerve. She’s 4, get use to it, you have the rest of your life with her. Don’t let his lazy ass ruin your relationship with your daughter. I’d kick him to the curb before you loose your cool with your little one which is all bad. Remember, she sees what’s going on and feels your emotions and may be acting out because of you and dad’s actions.
Like Paul Harvey said now for the rest of the story . Id like to hear your husbands side because there is always two side of a story .
I understand she’s acting out. Maybe she’s trying to get Dad’s attention. You all need therapy. You are angry at him. Why is he refusing to be a part of the family. This is a family problem that only a family man can solve by taking part in the family. You need to address why he doesn’t want to be a part of this.
Does he work? Make him a to do list. Or your not putting out:joy:
Don’t take your anger, for him, out on your daughter. It’s not her fault he’s a lazy dick.
Why the fuck you shouting at a fucking 4 year old kid I’m surprised she’s not ran away yet or lamped you one because I sure as hell would if I saw anybody scream at a child a don’t care if I get banned or reported unlike you cunts I say it like it is unlike you snowflakes
As I told my ex, if he wants to do nothing and then dictate how I’m doing things wrong when he is never around to help like ever than shut up, a person has no right to complain or give you crap for doing things wrong if they don’t help and or not a part of taking care of the child. He can only complain or make comments if he actually helps, if not tell him to go to hell
Go into that room make him get his ass up and help. Don’t let him go into the room and sleep when everyone else is awake. If you don’t get to have a break nor does he. It’s not your fault her attitude is the way it is. She sees him going into a room and not have consequences for leaving the room, so therefore she thinks it’s ok to act out and make you mad. So it’s his fault. Kids do as they see just like the saying “monkey see monkey do monkey hear”
I hate how pathetic guys like this are 🤦 It reminds me of the 50s when all we were expected to do was work. Not be a father, not be a husband, no accountability to their family…just work, eat, shit and sleep. It’s pathetic. Guys like this aren’t fathers, they’re sperm donors. They sure as hell aren’t husbands. Get out and find yourself a real man that can tackle work, fatherhood and be a good husband.
The bar for men is so low, but they keep doing the limbo under it anyway
Some guys want a female to do there work for them so they can be lazy or have fun. Those are the ones that never grow up so leave. If it’s not your kid he should be doing more.
It sounds like possible depression
Communicate with him and get couple’s counseling. If he doesn’t try to do better then it is time to go.
Your daughter is going to pick up on your mood, tone of voice, body language, etc and act out on it. If you can’t be calm in a stressful situation how do you expect your 4 year old child (who knows no real way of how to be a human yet) to be “good”. Children need guidance and direction & lots of sensory input to help them learn to regulate themselves. As for helping around the house, what kind of job is he working? Is he tired from physical labor or metal drainage? Is he depressed? You need to actually sit down and have a real conversation without getting angry and discuss both of your needs and boundaries.
Maybe start by not getting mad at her for his ineptitude. Second, what would you lose if you discarded this useless man child?
Before having a child, borrow a friends kid for the weekend. See how he does. At least you will have a clue.
These groups I thought were meant for mother’s to be able to ask for help or just to vent and have other mother’s reply thinking that as mother to there would be more understanding and compassion but literally ones I fallow have alot of judgment and rudeness.This world is a sad and scary place.
Serious sit down discussions about expections of a relationship/parenting. If u dont see eye to eye then leave.
Has he always been like this? These are red flags…I wouldn’t put up with it… life is too short for drama of this kind…
Ditch them both …. Sounds like you’re having to take care of two kids
Sit him down and have a serious heart to heart conversation with him and tell him how you feel
You’ve referred to him as your daughter’s father, not your partner/husband. Sounds like you’re not even in a relationship, you’re just house mates.