Can someone please give advise? Sorry for the long post please bare with me…
My hubby and I have been together for 13 years, since we were teenagers (not married). We have 5 children together, including twin daughters, 4 of the kids are now in primary school and the youngest going to school next year. I couldn’t imagine life without them. So this is my situation, I am so unhappy with the circumstances I am in. Hubby doesn’t care about going anywhere in life, maybe owning a house one day or leaving something behind for the kids, he does not care about saving money for anything, and I just feel that I want to achieve something in my life and one day leave something behind for my kids, I don’t want to live like this forever… But everytime I try do do something I genuinely want to in my life, he says it’ll never work, I’m overreacting, I’m setting myself up for disappointment etc… Yet he makes no effort at all to to change anything. We both work and can afford much better. Besides that, my hubby is a good man, but it’s all about him. He gets up in the morning 15min before he needs to go to work, goes to work, comes back home, eats, showers and sits on tiktok for 2 hours then go to bed. On weekends he does what he wants and leave the kids with me. While I have to get all the kids ready for school, make lunch, clean the house, sort laundry, wash dishes etc., do shopping, even clean the whole yard, take care of our animals, wash the car, pick up and drop off the kids at school and help them with homework, cooking and much more, all while working an exhausting full-time job (for a boss from home), if I ask him to help with something, he is always “tired”, and I end up doing it myself. I get up at 3:30am in the morning and go to bed well after 11 - 12 at night just to do all these things… I never leave the house except for shopping and getting the kids at school… I’m not happy anymore and he knows I’ve been feeling this way for a long time, but he doesn’t care much. Talking doesn’t help, I’ve been trying for the last 9 years and have given up. All it comes down to is “he’s trying and he doesn’t want to lose me”. I just feel like if I have to do everything alone I might as well be alone… I feel like I’m running around in circles…
I’ve been thinking hard about this for a while now but I don’t know if it’s just my overworked hormones talking… I really need a big change in my life and I can afford to move and get a place of my own and I really want to move closer to the sea (pretty far away from where we are) , it has always been my dream and I can do so because of the fact that I work from home and my finances are in order. I have told him I want to move, but obviously he doesn’t agree with my decision, repeating that I’m just thinking about myself, overreacting and want to throw everything away and run away.
I’ve basically made up my mind and do really want to go while still being young and working from home is a bonus, The problem lies with the children, what do I do? It’s going to be awfully hard for me to take all the kids with me in a wildly strange place with no one to help me, while I still have to find my feet and settle, but my children are my life and I don’t want to leave them behind to sort things out first, I would lose my mind without them, and it would be cruel to take only the girls (3) with me and leave the boys (2) with their father and arrange visits for time being, I don’t want to separate them …
Has anybody got advise please?