What should I do?

I’m seeing my baby daddy he’s already told me it’s just sex which I understand that and he knows I’m attached to him. I love my baby daddy I really do after all I’ve been through with him I still love him. There’s other guy I’ve been talking to haven’t had sex. My thing is should stop seeing my baby daddy when he told me he probably never wants to get married? Deep inside I really wanna be with my baby daddy I’d have his babies if we got together again. idk I’m sorry idk a lot about the guy I’m talking to. I know some just not a lot idk if he wants to get married again either.


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What should I do?

Oh lord :woman_facepalming:t2::woman_facepalming:t2: I’m sorry if I’m being harsh but really? Why don’t women believe men when they say they don’t want you. How much more will you let him disrespect you sis. He literally said it’s just s sex which translates to ‘hey I know you carried and birthed my child and I know you have feelings for me but I don’t want you like that but I’m down to keep using your body for my pleasure even though I know this messes with your head, I’m just gonna keep taking advantage of you cuz I can’. Oh my gosh get some standards I beg you. It is super hard to feel sorry for your situation when you are literally allowing him to have sex with you with no commitment and now this other guy you also don’t know what he wants? Ask him. Tell him what you want. Have your prerequisite list and any man that doesn’t want what you want let them the hell go. And for Heavens sake think about how confused your child will be because the daddy sure isn’t thinking about the kid.


It always amazes me how adults can still act like children. Concentrate on ur children. Be single and then find a man not another child to b with


Stop having children


Girl know your worth.
This guy doesn’t love you and you are being treated like a doormat.
Co-parent well and that is all.


You’re better off pursuing someone who actually wants a future with you. You can’t build a HEALTHY relationship on just sex and nothing else. It doesn’t work that way. You’re wasting your time screwing around with your ‘baby daddy’ as you put it. He’s made it clear that marriage nor a relationship is on the table. You need to do better for yourself and your kids(s) at this point.


There’s nothing wrong with enjoying your sex. You can’t do it with this dude. You have a thing for him and he just wants sex. No matter how willing you are it’s not going to change his mind. He taking advantage of the fact you’re gonna say yes. You’re a guaranteed thing. The only capacity he needs to be in your life is as the father of the kid.


You don’t need a man to be happy, be less codependent. Marriage shouldn’t be the only focus, there’s a journey to get there but both people need to be on the same trail


It’s called birth control and self respect!!!


This is a for real question? How old are you??


I’d stay clear of baby daddy … Your only going to get hurt …he already told you it was just for sex …dont let him use you because you think you love him …theres other fish to catch


The first step to respecting yourself is loving yourself. When that happens you wouldnt doubt yourself, wont be in these situations to ask these kind of questions to men who are also struggling in life with maybe the same problems or even worse. Finding a relationship with God is your next step and he will tell and show you your worth and you will have a total different life. Love yourself, respect yourself, if you dont do it, noone else will do it for you, and most certain not a man of wordly pleasures that was not raised with Godly morals and standards. Find a man who LOVES God so deeply, he will know how to love and cherish you and will show and teach you that, for definitely you dont love and respect yourself enough. Remmber you have a child and these are the morals and standards your giving to your child. A child learns from what he/ she sees at home. You know the feeling is not nice being in such a poor relationship… why would you subject your child to that. If not for yourself, atleast do it for your child. Throw away selfishness and be a parent to your child. God said" Train up a child in the way it should go, and when its older it will not depart from it" Prov. 22:6. When a child is in the equation, its not about you anymore, but what is best for the child. Focus on God, on bringing him into your life and home, on introducing your child to him and he will bring you a real man who will love you for you. I pray God take you out of this situation, for when you know your worth, you will realise its not love but infatuation you have for this man instead. Its a VERY unhealthy relationship for you and your child. Love and cherish yourself. This life is already hard as it is, why would you put a more heavy burden on yourself. Dont you want a happy and joyfull life? Only God can give that. I hope God finds you in time.:rose::+1::dove:


This is a recipe for disaster. Let go of the baby daddy who just wants to screw you and commit to somebody of you want to be committed too.


I think you should stay away from baby daddy. No sex, no attachment. He is the father of your kids and that’s it. I know it’s hard to feel lonely but to me it sounds like you need to take some time to get in touch with yourself. The time you spend with BD can be spent with the kids or focusing on a hobby. Good luck mama!


Having anymore children with this man is no way i hell going to make him love you or care for you. He is in it for the sex and nothing else…you need to stop because god knows how many others he is having sex with…for your own safety, health and mental mindness walk away!!


Don’t waste your years enjoy being mum and focus on your child ,baby dad got the best of both worlds get rid :slight_smile:


Stop letting yourself from being used because baby daddy knows you love him
And find someone who will love you and not use you for sex

It is very difficult to detach from someone you are having sex with. Women release oxytocin which is also known as the bonding hormone. You aren’t describing love you are attached/bonded. How about some supportive womens groups(?). And maybe therapy where you can be seen heard and understood(?).


The reason you’re having a hard time moving on is because you’re afraid of what life will look like with out him, what the future will look like. Let me tell you mama this is a mental trap.

Being in a bad relationship is like physical Mercury retrograde. You don’t see what’s what. You’ve been so comfortable in this idea, that there is no better, that you don’t see any other way. That you don’t see that you can do better for yourself by yourself. You find yourself ignoring his red flags and readily forgiving him when he fucks up.

How can you have all your eggs in his basket when he’s looking at you as just sex.

Crazy thing is most men won’t admit that it’s just sex. Cause that’s all it is to them. They’d rather get the quick fix, Rather than create a stable foundation.

You deserve better. Continue to work on your self love. And you’ll see life on your own will be more fruitful, exciting and less painful than being with someone who’s not interested in meeting your deep needs as well.

Listen when men tell you what they’re about. You’ll save yourself some heartbreak.


He’s already told you that you’re just sex for him. As long as you are willing to give it to him he’ll stay near but don’t expect any deep emotional connection. If love and marriage is what you want you need to look elsewhere.


Stop teaching your kid this is acceptable behavior. You’re giving them the wrong idea of what a relationship is supposed to be.


No girl where your self worth hes using you kick him into touch find a decent man who will love you and treat you right

What is so important about getting married? Your just hurting yourself, distance that now. When he finds someone he’s interested in it will get ugly for you.

U need to find ur self worth. Be alone for a while.

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Is it possible for you to forgo sexual intercourse for a year and get to know these people? If they love you they will respect your boundaries… if not kick them to the curb. Why are you looking for just anyone to attach to? Are you able to support yourself and child without baby daddy around? If not… have you gone to your local Department of Social Services to ask for job training? Do you believe a succession of men through your child’s life is going to be emotionally healthy for him/her…. being abandoned over and over? Like what you have suffered? Have you asked yourself why you are trying to get men who don’t love you… to love you? You want your child to grow up in the same circumstances? Do you care enough about your child to make sure he/she knows how to set personal boundaries so others cannot abuse them… your kids will think what they see everyday in your life as normal…. That it’s okay to abandon women and kids after having sex with them… your son will learn that from you… and your daughter will repeat that,too. Time to grow up.

Your baby daddy is no good :kissing_smiling_eyes:

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I got a brain aneurysm reading this :wastebasket:


Brooke Sladakovic I thought she meant like her baby’s daddy but no she really means a baby daddy :face_with_hand_over_mouth::see_no_evil:

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Don’t have children please.


Counting children and “Baby daddy”?? — this is an advice thread - focus on SCHOOL. You’re single don’t be no one’s booty call. He will find his love soon and leave you. Again.

From that paragraph i dont think you need to be with any man.

Spend time getting to know and falling in love with yourself first…


I’m sorry but if this is the way you think, you’ve got a lot of growing up to do. You shouldn’t be bringing kids into this world if you haven’t got your sh*t together!


Baby daddy only wants sex from you :roll_eyes: that alone should scream let him go! My baby daddy told me this, he would be out on his ass no returns. No your worth chick and let him go.

Get a grip. Youre obviously immature. Grow up. Take care of your kids n stop worrying about guys. He was honest and youre being a dumbass. Dont be used.

How old are you? Why would you let someone use you just for sex? Where is your self respect?


Your not ready for any relationship, concentrate on continuing to be an amazing mom and leave the baby daddy alone.


How about focusing your energy on your child/children. Not men!


Baby daddy is just using you for his own jollies. Don’t let anyone just use you as their sex toy when no love involved. Take time to find you…be a great mom…teach your child to not be used


Sometimes the best thing to do for yourself is take a step back from men, relationships/sex and focus on yourself (and children). Take a break from mixing your energy with others and giving so much of yourself away. Prioritize your overall health, mental, spiritual, physical. Spend quality time with your kids. And think deeply about the kind of relationship you want, what you want your kids to grow up seeing. You can create a healthy foundation for marriage and family fulfillment. It sounds like marriage is important to you. Don’t waste your energy on what is shallow :sparkling_heart:


Sometimes we don’t like what we hear and we think people will mature. His guilt is relieved because he told you it was for sex. He knows how you feel and still continues to take from you. He will not change and will never respect you. Leave him alone.


You need to step back and think about why you are so connected to this person. Sounds like you have a lot to focus on with in yourself. Don’t waste your life chasing someone or something that is not bettering your future. Work on yourself and being a strong independent woman. Sounds like you have some self love work to do :heart:


Get rid of baby daddy as hard as it might be for you. You will find out that you can find a guy that totally adores you that wants to do everything for you and to help you into love you and that’s what you want. He will make you fall in love with him because he will love you so much and he will love your baby and you won’t have to worry about any of this baby crap dad daddy stuff and don’t forget to get some child support unless you don’t want him around at all which I would recommend unless you need the money now to take care of the baby then take his ass to court


I honestly wouldn’t see either until you can be alone. Learn to love yourself and how you deserve to be treated. Being told it’s just sex is a pretty clear sign that it’s not going to be good for you long term if you’re attached. I’m a single mum and I love it. No man gets to treat me badly and I find that I’ve started meeting a better kind of man when I raised my standards.


You’ve got a lot of growing up to do. How about you concentrate on yourself & your child instead of which man you want to be with. One of those men is just using you, which he literally told you that. Start focusing on the girl in the mirror & the rest will fall into place when she becomes a woman.

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Please grow up first. Second, learn to listen and believe what he is saying to you, third dont bring more children into no where relationships. Get counseling


Help your mother with the housework and let her make your decisions for a long time . Right now get on some very effective birth control .

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Children do not make a marriage .It takes two grown adults to do that .Adults need to quit thinking a child will save a marriage birth control is very easy to obtain I suggest you concentrate on your child

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hun if you need to try and force someone to love you it is not worth it, told my daughter the same thing. you will meet someone that deserves you, trust me

why would anybody be low enough to accept that? Is a man a requirement to live??? Take care of your children yourself and stop this


I think you should stay single :+1: you can’t jump from one man to the next. You need to take time out for yourself. You’re teaching your kid this is acceptable behaviour, and giving them the wrong idea of what a relationship is supposed to be. Stay single, find yourself and concentrate on you and your kid :heart: you’re too concentrated on if the guy wants to get married, in time you will find someone who treats you right, but right now you need to stay single and work on yourself. :heart::heart:

I think you should just focus on your kid(s). They’re far more important and interesting then any relationship. Plus if a guy tells you RIGHT AWAY EVEN he ain’t in it to win it, then you drop that dead ass loser. But nah, you’re wanting more of his babies? Smh :joy: People on this page get more and more ridiculous with their questions by the day.

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Wait. You start out calling him your baby daddy but then say you’d have his babies if you got back together again. So like, you don’t even have kids with him? At least that’s how it sounds. If you don’t have kids then why call him your baby daddy? That being said, women always say that men don’t communicate how they feel pr about what they want. He has clearly told you how he feels and what he wants. So listen to him. He doesn’t want you. He doesn’t love you. He doesn’t want to get married. This is purely sex for him. So now you need to be an adult, pull up your big girl pants and work on yourself before you worry about any relationship.

Respect and love yourself. Do not give any part of yourself to anyone who is not giving themselves back. He is just using you for sex. Move on and find a man who truly respects, loves, and wants to be with you.

Number one-stop having sex!!! With anybody. Dang, focus on your kid(s). Stay away from men who have already told you who they are and what they want-nothing good is going to come from them, ok?? You sound very young so I’m just trying to give you the facts. Wake up! This is all common sense to the rest of us. And you might want to think about finding a good church for your family. :heart:

Run!! A man that really loves you and wants you around forever what at least have an idea that one day do you want to be married to you. If he can easily say that and let you move on, run and run fast

Baby daddy’s thoughts are why buy the cow if getting the milk for free. Have a little self respect lady…

You sound like a high schooler. Be less concerned about men who clearly don’t have an emotional interest in you and more focused on building your life with your kids.

Just ask your self what your advice to your daughter would be. I guarantee it wouldn’t be to just settle with the deadbeat baby daddy lol

Baby daddy wants to have his cake and eat it too. Drop him and just take care of your kids. Trust me you don’t want to keep messing with him because he could be messing with someone else and not even tell you. Then just leave you alone and get in a relationship with the other girl.

He knows this which is why he just wants sex,your an easy target.please raise your kids “to love and respect themselves more than anyone else ever cld”

You sound very young and naive. You need to focus on yourself and your child. No more “baby daddy” and no more having sex with randoms or “baby daddy” or you will have a load of babies and baby daddies on your hands and NO HELP.

Everyone comes with their own bag of BS you have to figure out which BS you’re willing to deal with :woman_shrugging:t4:

Emotional attachment is hard to get away from.
Especially since you love him, nothing we say will make you stop, you’ll just have to get tired of giving your cookies to the Cookie Monster.
But I understand a lady has needs too, it’s harder when it’s someone you’re really into.
Good luck sweetie, I know it’s hard right now!

I actually give the baby daddy credit for telling her like it is.

Easy answer to your questions is simple. You have to let go of your baby daddy as he’s already told you how he feels. Only then should you try and get serious with someone else . You shouldn’t try and get to know/serious with someone else if you’re still in love with your baby daddy.

What is wrong with people. You were told what he wants and you think your going to change it? I don’t get it.

Therapy and leave both of these men alone

He is telling you that all he wants is a f**k buddy…all the fun with no responsibility. Time to separate yourself emotionally and physically from this person. Get your child support and visitation signed through the courts. See a doctor or clinic for good birth control so that you don’t get pregnant again until you have a partner that cares for you and your future.

if baby daddy is just using you for sex- then dump his ass. what he’s doing isn’t fair to you or your children. especially if you want to marry someone one day. you deserve better. your kids deserve better.

No one is going to protect her heart but you. Stop breaking it. Love your child and yourself.

The father has already told you he doesn’t see a future…and if y’all made a kid & he is still adamant about not wanting to be together & just be fuck buddies…it’s pretty obvious what you should do…dude does not want ANY kind of future 🤷🤦

I would just not pursue anyone right now & work on yourself…if you can’t handle letting go of someone who has outright said there’s no point to you " holding " on…then should you really be making any kind of decisions regarding another guy?

Bet the guy your talkin to is a better man than the child u stickin it too… how old are y’all? Lol that plays a role

I think you should focus on yourself and your babies :slightly_smiling_face:

Leave your baby daddy since he only wants sex and find someone else. You do realize you don’t have to have sex with someone to date them and you have to get to know someone by talking to them more.

He’ll never change It’s hard but move on… It took me forever

Get your tubes tied and leave innocent children out of your bad decisions.

Sex is sex :woman_shrugging:t2: he said that’s all it is. Take it or leave it but don’t drag someone else into your love shit. Get right with yourself first Ma, you sound too confused to be playing

U gave your heart away…your not getting it back to share w another till your way way over him.

He said he doesn’t like you. Stop being a door mat. You deserve someone who wants you!!!

Focus on yourself it’s hard but you gotta do it

Why do you feel you love a man who treats you like a no pay slut? Time to see a therapist to see why you love a man who only wants you for sex.

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When people tell you who they are (and what they want) believe them.

Value yourself and move on-

Why do you want to be with someone who seemingly does not want to be with you?

This can’t literally be a serious question…

You are setting yourself for some serious heartbreak if you keep f*ckin around with baby daddy. He’s made his side very clear.
Time to move along.

I wish this was a joke :flushed:

Grammar people
Learn how to write a proper sentence , please
Its not that hard

I mean… yall are just friends with benefits and you’ll never be anything more… he’s made that very clear. Yes you care for him but it’s obvious he just wants a f**k buddy. You want an actual relationship which isn’t going to happen with this person. Move on and find your worth honey. You’re worth more than just a side piece. :v:

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Why are you basing a relationship on if they want to get married? If your baby daddy is just seeing you, sounds like that’s a good thing for both you and your baby. But, if you decide to go out with this other guy, break the sleeping together thing with baby daddy off. You will really have a mess if you don’t.

Girl focus on you and your kids. If babydaddy don’t want marriage then he means it

I don’t even like the term “baby daddy” it sounds ghetto

Maybe stop hooking up with marriage as your ultimate end goal? Not every solid, loving relationship ends with the 2 people being married. That doesn’t mean it’s not a relationship worth having.
If it’s the right guy? Marriage can come after you have proven to one another that your relationship is strong enough to withstand anything. Sometimes that takes years. And a guy who says he isn’t in marriage now might change his tune one day.

He literally gave you the answer already. He doesn’t want to be with you, it’s JUST sex.

Baby daddy sounds trashy as fuck, why not just say my child’s dad :roll_eyes:


Stop having sex with baby daddy

Ayooo she for the streets

Is this some kind of joke

Girl, you need to get to work on your self esteem. Your “baby daddy” does not love you and does not respect you. You are his go to strictly for sex. Yuck!Getting married should not be your goal. Finding someone who loves you and your child in every way and who will support you and your child, is what should matter to you. Kick his ass to the curb and move on.

Leave men alone. You are not responsible yet. You don’t have a guy just for sex.

A confession of a teenager

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