I’m 35yr old and I don’t think it’s normal to feel this unwanted by a spouse!
Anyone else experience this? Thoughts, comments, advise?
So my wife and I started dating in 2019. Fast forward to Jan 2020 we got married. Then we tried for a child, it worked on the first try. Beautiful, healthy baby girl joined us in late 2020. Fast forward to now, daughter just turned One. And my wife and i haven’t been intimate since we conceived our daughter. I’ve expressed numerous of times how this is a problem/issue on my end. And all i get is “I’m sorry it’s not you it’s me”. I’m not a sex crazed person but it’s been almost TWO years!! I’m dying on the inside a little bit. Previously in our relationship when we were dating we had sex so much, like a ridiculous amount.
Just from seeing her side… she might just be tired. Even though people downplay what woman do at home (cooking, cleaning, caring for kids) it can become exhausting! You lose yourself. She might’ve also just lost the drive for it. Maybe suggest doing something different? Massages, watching videos together, etc.
I know how you feel, except I was begging my husband to be intimate with me after our baby. It had been 1 year since we’d been intimate and I thought maybe he’s worried that I’m not ready. So I started expressing that I was ready to be intimate and trying to make time for us to spend alone or on date nights. He just had no interest. I thought it was me cause my body changed so much after my baby, so I worked really hard to lose the weight and get back in shape…still nothing. But we also had a toxic relationship and he was very controlling though and I left shortly after. I’m sorry. I wish I had better advice for you, but I know how you feel. It made me feel really unwanted and alone.
I think you maybe should express to her it’s important and try to make time for date nights or any kind of romance. Tell her she’s beautiful and you want her and try to make her feel beautiful and desirable. I know that’s what I wanted. Maybe even take it to a therapist and express yourself there. This is an important factor and you shouldn’t have to sacrifice intimacy. Having a baby is no excuse to lose intimacy and closeness with your partner. Maybe she’s having some post partum depression or doesn’t feel as sexy anymore. Women need to be made to feel desirable after babies and have a little romance occasionally. You aren’t asking for too much!! She needs to know how you feel and find out what’s holding her back.