My 10 years old son’s school has made it compulsory for all kids to be given a tablet for study purposes. And so, I have granted a device to my child with parental controls.
A couple days back, I had to use his device for some work related matter and I stumbled upon his chat via Google hangouts which mentioned p*** and hentai. One of his friend even stated that he “” everyday and he enjoys the feeling. They also mentioned about “watching p during break” (I’m guessing it must be from a device of a child who doesn’t have parental controls in it)
I was shocked because it was a conversation among 10 year olds. Is this normal? I mean, I’m a part of 80’s babies… and me being 10 was completely a “frog under the coconut shell” (translated from Malay language).
Pls excuse my grammar as English is not my first language.
He’s growing up. A friend probably exposed him and now he’s super interested. Talk w him openly. Don’t talk AT him. Just have a conversation
I’ve seen Al ot of teachers saying to watch these chats.
I’d make sure the schools knew & I’d block all chats until we had a very long conversation. When children don’t understand the gravity of sex, they can become emotionally detached. Talking about healthy relationships & feelings is a conversation we should be having. Regardless of “comfort”, our children knowing they can talk to use about everything is more important.
I have friends that definitely did at 10. There were girls that were pregnant in the seventh grade. If you haven’t talked to your son, do so. Don’t shame him for his feelings.
For age reference, I graduated high school in 2002, so I’m also from the 80s.
The fact is humans are sexual beings… I discovered my own body about a year younger than that. What gets me is that adults turn it into some sort of taboo topic when it’s infact a HUMAN topic. In my opinion kids by that age should be educated not necessarily in sex but in their own body and the fact that around this time of adolescence and maturity natural human urges start to happen. Don make him feel guilty about his own body or actions when he is alone because there is nothing to be ashamed of. But tea hing him the truth and that there’s a time and place etc. But these kinds of conversations happen between teens and preteens.
Honestly he is growing up and I think it’s normal. Maybe not the P word but they use it and that’s a fact. They are exploring and learning themselves at this age also. As a boy mom I was shocked and mortified one day many years ago too. It’s normal tho.
10 is still a child. You need to have a talk to him about what’s appropriate and not to view online. Definitely no shaming. But let him know that he shouldn’t be viewing that stuff. It’s normal to be curious but is definitely not healthy to be viewing so young. I’m so sadden by some things in our world today let kids stay kids. Parents need to be parents and guide children to the correct choices not just let them do what feels good all the time.
It seems shocking but i think children are way far more sexually advanced and aware now, id still be shocked if my 10year old grandchild did this and id explain its not nice to share private details surrounding sex etc, im old fashioned so i wouldnt like this situation myself
Talk about it with him. My daughter is going to be 11, and kids are definitely talking about this stuff. She’s open and honest about the conversations her friends have with her and is comfortable asking me questions. I’d rather give her true and correct info than learn from other 10 year olds. 
Plus we discuss the consequences of online downloading, watching, and talking to others. Teaching them good etiquette is better than them experiencing it and not knowing what to do. When I was 10, I had friends who already had sex; 80’s baby, I just turned 40. I was also a teen mom and didn’t learn anything from my parents, just my friends.
I’m a mama of 4 kids, 3 boys and 1 girl. They range from 5 years to 14 years old. I always have told my kids that there will be many things involving hygiene, sex, drugs, alcohol, ect. that they will hear or see, and when that happens and they have questions, that I am here to talk to without judgement. We can’t stop all things from happening, kids learn all sort of crazy stuff at school from friends, but we can prepare them and openly discuss things. I found this has been the best way because my high school son is now pretty open with me and asks advice on things a lot. We have no shaming here because in life it is inevitable that not all topics will be comfortable or something we agree with, but being open and discussing those topics together allows them to see that everyone is different and that’s ok. As far as things like masterbation (I assume that was the topic in the post), we don’t get deep into that, but just that it’s a natural thing to be curious of your body and the pleasures, but that it is also something private to them alone.
As a 80s baby who grew up in the 90s with parents who did not talk to me about ANYTHING, I can say that sometimes talking with my friends is the only way I did learn. Just make sure you are their person they’re comfortable coming to. And good luck mama.
I wouldn’t let him, but it’s normal for sure to be curious and it seems they’re curious younger these days due to all of the devices to make it easier to be known and found.
The kids need to be careful what they say on goole classroom chats, the teachers have the ability to see and read their conversations with eachother. I feel like kids are learning new things younger and younger, mainly due to having all the information at their finger tips.
My teenagers (boys)and 11 year old has watched stuff and talked about it. Kids nowadays know too much probably because social media and how easy it is to go on those sites. My 11 year old only has me and dad not in the picture so I can’t talk to him about it. I had my teenagers’ dad talked to them and he said it was fine and that it was normal thing. He’s probably just curious like every other kid/preteen.
Most kids have been exposed to porn and sexual conversation at this age these days. It doesn’t mean it’s right. You need to have a serious chat about love, relationships and reality as it can create a very odd and frightening view of the world. Imagine believing your parents do violent and abusive acts to each other? It’s really sad what some kids send in group chats…stuff that I wouldn’t want to see being shared by 11 y/o. You do need to tell the school this has happened too. I don’t know where you are but it’s definitely a safeguarding issue and if they start sharing it, illegal.
Normal. I found out the hard way my son around 8 googled “big boobie girls” ON HIS NANAS IPAD! 
Been there with my 10 year old
Is it a schools device? If so it’s being monitored.
I am an 80: baby too.
That has nothing to do with this:
I would have an open conversation and not shame him. I would also let the teachers know they should be monitoring
Also you language is great compare to some English ppl 
It’s normal. While I feel like 10 is young, we have to remember that these kids are growing up exposed to a lot of stuff on the internet that we weren’t. You get one friends that sees something and they tell the others and curiosity follows and it’s completely normal to be curious. With that I’d say it’s a good time to have a talk about whats appropriate to look at online (especially with a school provided device), let him know curiosity is ok, try to answer questions, explain things to him if he ask (he prob won’t)
you could report the messages from his friend to the school as a concerned adult. Have a open minded conversation with him too.
Google hangout is the worst! Unfortunately it’s used as part of the curriculum and is used for class discussions. It’s poorly monitored.
Listening to kids coming out of my son’s grade school, kids on fortnite, YES, this is today’s normal. Sad really but true. Sounds like time to sit and have “the talk” with him.
Yes say something you gotta talk about it
Yes. This is normal.
At that age I think a lot of it is an attempt to seem more grown or like the older kids but I would still have a calm and open discussion about all of it
Totally normal found out the hard way all my lotion kept disappearing 
I would call the school and let them know what’s going on. I had this issue too when some boy in my daughters class was being crude and asking my daughter to send him inappropriate pictures. This was all done in one of their breakout rooms and chats rooms that they have. Some of these things the boy was saying was concerning for me. The school addressed the issue but there is only so much they can do as for monitoring curious middle schoolers. Unfortunately, I did find out that boy was being sexually abused and that was why he was acting in that manner. Sometimes it’s natural curiosity and sometimes it’s something much worse
We cannot raise our kids the way we were raised, we would be preparing them for a world that no longer exists. It’s daunting, as a mother I get chills just thinking about having to still face this someday, but it is best to have the bee’s and the birds talk now already- technology is so advanced and they will come across it some way or the other. It’s best that you set that foundation of knowledge which he will build on regarding this topic before he get the wrong idea of this somewhere else.
Its a very different world today. Children grow up so fast its scary.
Hes curious so time for a chat. He needs to know the facts of life rather than gossip learned from other children.
when my son was 10, porn was girls in bikinis. even so i would have a conversation with your son about porn,
Sex Positive Parents Community can definitely help navigate through this. It’s normal for them to start getting curious and exploring themselves around this age. You want them to do healthy though, and you definitely don’t want them thinking porn is how sex really is. You have 2 choices. He can learn this in the wild by himself, or you can get ahead of it and make sure he understands porn isn’t real, touching yourself is ok, and y’know the basic sex talk. Safety and all that. I had it with my daughter and it’s uncomfortable but it must be done especially when they’re already showing interest. Pregnancy and disease happens when things like this aren’t taken seriously or are denied. Banning won’t help because it’ll only create more curiosity.
Currently in a similar situation with my 10 year old. Things are a lot different now then they were when we were children.
It’s normal, just talk to him about the birds and the bees in a way you feel comfortable.
I was a 90s baby and we found porn by 10-12 too. Watch Big Mouth if you don’t remember what it was like to be a hormone monster. 
Normal. This is why it’s important to be open and “sex positive” because this day and age kids have so much access to everything
I don’t know what device you recieved from school but school tablets aren’t even set up to get in much, other than school apps. Each child has their own school passwords and e-mail. They have them locked up pretty good. They also review the devices. Therefore, your son got into something, not somebody else🤣.
Kids are growing up faster and more sexualized and going through puberty early. Its time to have the talk before his friends tell him inaccurate information that can lead to trouble later.
My sons nearly 10 and this definitely isn’t normal from my perspective! Although they start learning about it at school this year I believe, so alot could change in a few months but this seems extreme
It’s normal for kids today. My daughter is 11 and some of her friends have already lost their virginity 
it’s sad how much they rush to grow up but i sat down with my daughter and had an honest open discussion about sexual acts and what that cna lead too and although I expressed my desire for her to wait as long as possible before doing such things i also educated on how to be intimate safely and that consent matters for both parties. I told her the possibility of stds and what that would look like and i also told her that even if her friends might find porn interesting, it’s not realistic. I told her if she has questions ask me and i will answer honestly. So far that has worked really well. But Luckily she finds the idea of being intimate with another person gross right now lol
Yes it’s normal. Probably time to have a talk about porn vs. Reality though
Totally normal!
I believe it’s really important to ensure children are educated and that it’s acknowledged that masterbation and sex isn’t wrong! So often we label these things are “wrong” instead of educating them correctly.
Masterbation/sex can actually be helpful in the terms of self love and a release of oxytocin within the body.
There’s a place and time of course but it’s normal and certainly isn’t “wrong”.
Boundaries may be needed and obviously safety needs to be discussed.
Ten is young but if your finding that i would talk to him.if you haven’t already give him the talk and give him honest answer to any questions and let feel safe coming to you for questions. Don’t yell or make him feel bad its is natural to be curious but vulgar words are strange for that my sons 10 and I have never heard that language
It normal for boys at 10 to start looking at women and want to see nude photos so he just testing the water
Please don’t apologize for English not being your primary language. America IS NOT the center of the universe as some would like to think. 
Very very normal, start talking to him…
Talk to him about respect and consent as well as the birds and the bees. And why it can warp guys to having relationships with real women. Give him some tools to answer back to his “friends” that introduced him to this. Might be worth talking to the teacher, principal, and the other kid/s parents.
This is very sad. Our children shouldn’t know of these things…
Yes some kids begin puberty around age 8.
It’s very normal for his peers to be talking to him about sex and for him to be curious. Time to sit down and discuss what you want him to know, from you.
My 10yo is nowhere near this and I think most of the kids in his class are not either.
Very normal these days unfortunately innocence is lost much earlier than before. When I was at school in the 2000s girls were having sex at 13 and some boys even younger. I would have the open conversation about what you find and say you understand him exploring his sexuality as long as he is ready and not experiencing any pressure, also mention consent and that porn has its place and to not put unrealistic expectations on women/men as it’s filmed in many takes etc and most is faked.
I personally have no issue with porn but do take issue that younger men in particular expect it now in the bedroom and makes women self conscious of their own performance - heck who can stand up against a porn star going at it for hours still look glamorous?xx
It might be normal for them to masturbate… And it is… but it is NOT normal for a 10 year old CHILD to watch porn. If they find it, you have a talk and take it away but they are still too young.
His apps should be monitored. He’s 10. If he cant participate he shouldnt be watching. And he shouldnt be participating either.
He ISNT even a preteen. He just hit double digits.
If you catch your kid, you shouldnt continue to allow them to watch ADULT content. There is a reason they cant buy it at a store and the sites say 18 and older.
Yes, easily accessible but thats why we should monitor them. Sometimes theyre exposed early, but then you cut back and monitor to make sure they dont continue. Starting THAT early leads to very unhealthy porn addictions later in life.
And no, im not shaming. Im stating facts that researchers have done themselves and that i have gone through with my now husband who started at 10 and was never told to stop.
Its sad how easily accessible it is now and breaks my heart because it makes it that much harder to keep our kids KIDS but we still have to try.
Id have a conversation. Explain its a normal thing at some point but he’s still to young to be watching that. And monitor that device, or any others he has, as well as have a convo with the teacher.
Its a school device so the school can see the conversations.
My son is 8 and has said some weird stuff about wanting to kiss girls and kiss their boobs and butts. I was so shocked. He told his dad he saw something on youtube about it. Theyre just exposed to so much now a days and grow up way faster than we did. Its scary. 
Look into sex positive websites and books for information on how to navigate
Normal. Start talking to him about it calmly and educational… you will see that he won’t be surprised about those things but he’s more likely be surprised how did you find out about what’s he’s up to or his friends. 
I’m not sure if his father is around since you didn’t mention him but if he is, have him to talk to your son. If he’s not an option, have a male that you and your son both know and trust to talk to him. He might be a little embarrassed talking to his mom but it’s definitely time to have a talk. This is totally normal even though he’s only 10. Boys start puberty at different ages so don’t panic. Just make sure he has all the information that he needs so he doesn’t have to learn things from his friends.
Definitely the starting time! Kids are about three years ahead nowadays That’s why you have to monitor other social media
Sad to say, it has definitely become a thing these days.
Oh god. I’m just not ready for what the future has in store for me in my house.
Good luck 
These comments are gross.
At 10? Like really? This isn’t normal. This is taught behavior from watching friends and older siblings do things. When I was 10, I was outside playing in lakes and rivers. Not worried about (P).
Yup caught mine at 9 years old. Had the talk about safety and self respect and respect for others.
It’s so odd seeing how it is normal. When I was 10 I was playing with barbies, but I forget times have changed
Oh my, I would not be happy if I saw this on my sons device. I’d try contacting the child’s parents or the teacher regarding the parental controls.
lol yeah I’m not surprised. I’d let him know that he can’t do that on something meant for education.
It sounds normal to me. Start having chats about stuff, calmly while creating easygoing conversations so he will comfortable coming to you openly about sexual things.
I feel 10 is normal age for little boys to talk to their friends like that and about that.
I can say at a young age I was aware of these things, parents just need to monitor what their kids are doing. I know it’s hard when you do that but other parents dont.
This is why sex ed is so vital…because no matter how hard you try to shield them from it, they’ll still be exposed to one thing or another when you’re not there - or when simply watching a movie/tv show that seems “safe” and appropriate at first.
Kids - especially boys, from my experience - have been talking and discussing sexual topics with friends from a young age for decades. The only difference now is the medium through which they can do it. 
That said, sex ed comes into play because you want them to have the proper information, in context where you can have some control over what they’re learning, uncomfortable as it can be for everyone involved…
Oh man. Not Normal. What is going on in the world? I hope my son is still innocent and is wanting to go biking with friends outside in the wilderness. 10???
If they are watching porn on it during breaks you need to let the teacher know and show this conversation to them.
Why do we have to block the words when we’re all adults?
My daughter started touching herself when she was 4 and I asked the drs and they said that it’s normal to them but they are innocent and just tell them they do that in private and use vagina and penis and to make sure no one else is allowed to touch there… The Dr with an exception, they do check things when doing yearlies but they dont touch. It’s curious behavior. My 15 yr old came to me and said he told me his dad tried doing the sex talk but my son paid attention to me when I was learning all my Pure Romance training and jokes and actually making sex talk easy to talk about. He’s got a condom but I told him to wait but if he didn’t it’s whatever.
That’s totally unacceptable
For young kids
Yes have the talk about what is and isn’t appropriate. In regards to how to treat women
Talk to him about safe sex and show him how to use a condom
Also explain to him the reprocations of having un safe sex
Not only about pregnancy but also about stds
He may re think the whole thing
It’s very developmentally normal at 10. You should have a conversation with him and also report this other kid to the school to make their parents aware and possibly face disciplinary actions. Most school issued devices have strict rules on them and students must follow the code of conduct. If that isn’t happening it needs to be addressed and brought to the attention of the school.
Call that parent and show them the chats
Caught my step daughter at 10 looking at porn on her Dads phone. I was pissed. Way too young to even be looking at that. But now a days its so easily available. This was over 10yrs ago. I wanted to ground her. Her Dad called her Mom and she said that she had already caught her on the computer doing it. Well come 4yrs later and she is caught with a boy. Doing things that she really shouldn’t be doing. I had just had her baby sister 4 months prior. Her Dad went and got her and brought her to our house. I immediately handed her sister to her and said. You want to do adult things. This is a consequence of doing those adult things. I made her take care of her sister for 3 days and nights. All I did was get up and pump. By that 3rd day she didn’t want to do it anymore. I told her of you get pregnant there isn’t just handing the baby off to someone else. That child is your responsibility. Not mine. Not your Dads. Its yours. Think before you go and do something really stupid. I know I can’t stop you. But get some birth control and always use a condom. She is 20 now. And I am not a grandma yet. Lol.
I can’t believe people are saying this is normal at 10 years old.
It’s unfortunately frequent, but not “normal”. Sometimes kids will even consume harsher content, like footage of actual deaths, and expose other children to it without their consent. It’s very harmful for their brain development.
While I think it is normal for a 10 year old to be curious about sex or talk with friends about it. I think actually watching porn I would be more concerned about. I would talk with him about how you can get addicted to it and how it teaches you unrealistic expectations especially at such a young age. I do have to say I caught my son at 11 had watched Minecraft porn. (Had to look up what that even was!) but we had a conversation about it and also about how devices can be monitored by schools, employers, etc. hope it gets better hang in there momma
Watch those sites CLOSELY…
What you think is conversation between children could very well be an adult predator acting as a child leading these conversations…
A CNN producer was just arrested using Google chats to arrange sex with 14 year olds!!!
This is serious stuff 
I think this is terrible. Maybe you should take control of the device and only let him use it for school work, but you are going to have to sit right there with him while he uses it. Have you made the other child’s parents aware of this activity?
Frequent in 2021, maybe, but “normal”, or “healthy”? Not so much. I think that it’s one thing to, like, “discover their bodies”, around that age - but watching all kinds of p*rn at ten is going to do nothing but cause damage and unrealistic expectations that lead to future performance issues (not that you’re worried about that lol, but I just mean due to the mental impact of chasing a fantasy) or a need for things that are beyond what is going to be found in the average teenage girl, even consent problems, once they get there. It can cause a lot of confusion, especially starting at such a young age, with such a fragile stage of brain development. Preteens and adolescents are going through some of the biggest changes of their lives, and a lot of what they consume in life will affect them permanently at this age. Talk to him. Explain why it isn’t healthy. Try not to feel too uncomfortable (or at least don’t show it). Don’t make him feel bad, or dirty, or anything. Explain how it causes unrealistic expectations and how it isn’t wrong to be curious, but it’s something he isn’t ready for. Be honest and open, let him ask questions and answer them truthfully. Even explain how this other kid may not have anyone to discuss these things with him, and may not realize the negative impact it can have, but your son has you and you’ll answer any questions he has. Don’t punish him, just talk to him. I’d also say talk to the other kids parents, because maybe they don’t know, but its kind of irresponsible and careless of them not to be keeping tabs, so it’s hard to say how they’ll take it.
90s baby here and yes that was normal for my generation. Started around 9
Very normal in this day and age honestly. They hear older kids/siblings talk about these things and are curious. Explain to him what a healthy sex life is (not saying that porn or sexworkers isnt) but explain it in terms a child his age can understand and that porn isnt something he should be watching especially at his age or talk about it on a device meant for education.
I didn’t think it was normal but I have had to report grade 6’s for talking about sex to my 9 (now 10), 7 and 5 year old boys. Telling them how to have sex and it has me so worried now because they do not understand the concept and the dangers and my 5 year old thankfully wasn’t listening and doesn’t understand as he ASD but it was horrifying as we are i. the country, I thought they would be protected for a little bit longer.
This sadly is normal. Not just for boy moms either. I have 2 of each and let me tell you… yikes. My 15yr old had my phone and thought hitting “delete photo” deleted it not k owing there’s a whole folder for deleted things. Yikes
Sadly, this is normal now.
Very normal. Just talk to him about it.
Are you sure he isn’t chatting with an adult pretending to be a 10 year old?
Oh its normalish but you should download the bark app. It scans for key works and sends you alerts so you dont have to worry about it
Watching porn at 10 is normal??? Wow.
Well its way eaiser for them to find than it was for us 80’s babies . And even then the majority of us really only saw Playboy or Playgirl !