My husband was recently on a ventilator for 7 days and when he came off they found pulmonary embolism. He has been a good Christian man for years he sings and plays in church really knows his Bible and lives it but since the ventilator episode all he does is cry day and night and says God hasn’t forgiven him. He told me the other night that he did something when he was 20 yrs old that he will never be forgiven for (he is 71) he went out with a girl that wasn’t 18 this was 50 yrs ago! I was told I needed to have him checked for dementia but he’s never been able to remember anything in all the years I’ve known him and we’ve been married for 42 yrs. I am so worried about him has anything like this ever happened to anyone?
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He probably needs to detox from the heavy drugs he was given in the hospital!!!
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I would see if he would see a therapist for depression and PTSD from the ICU stay.
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Church folks are scary. They do bad things then ask for forgiveness come Sunday, then do it all again starting Monday. I don’t trust em. He did something bad & karma is coming for him.
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Very common after a traumatic event. Talking to a counselor and meds could really help.
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Ask him why he doesn’t believe he’s been forgiven for something that happened so long ago.
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Prayers for your husband
After working in the ER for 5 years, I’ve seen this many times. It’s important to tell him he has been forgiven and that what happened has nothing to do with it. Remind him of all the good in his life and how blessed he has been. ICU delirium and PTSD is real and it may be beneficial for him to talk to someone for a little bit!
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Honestly, 50 years ago it was common for men to be about 20, 21 and with someone under 18 
I could understand if he was a old man preying on actual children. But he wasn’t.
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Get him checked out. PTSD is common after such traumatic health problems.
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He prob needs a therapist. You can suffer Ptsd from medical trauma. Ive been diagnosed complex ptsd. There IS psychosis you are on a diff planet sometimes. I dont work right now as i was behaiving strange around others. Laughing/crying inappropriately, Saying things that didnt make sense too
It’s possible he has dementia. Oftentimes the elderly when having gone through a serious illness/surgery/hospital stay it will bring it on. But it could also just be from a traumatic experience and he needs to see a psychologist and some therapy.
what has his lungs got to do with dementia
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Have him talk to his priest or pastor.
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Maybe he has ICU delirium.
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Almost dying changes a person. Remember we are to work out our salvation with fear and trembling. Your husband may have had a ‘come to Jesus’ moment. Just be there for him and hug him and listen.
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Is there a pastor he trusts? I would see if he’d be willing to do a confession. I’m not catholic but confession can heal the broken
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I don’t hear dementia, I hear him being scared about his life ending and wanting to clear some guilt he’s been carrying. I don’t hear anything actually wrong with what he’s saying he did but in his kind and in his internal moral clock it was and he needs and wants forgiveness for it. Take him down to the hospital chapel or have someone come to him, let him unburden him self, let him know you also forgive him ( if you honestly do of course) and see where that leads
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Have a priest talk to him …
He really needs to speak with a therapist. PTSD is common after such tragedies. Praying for both of you.
God forgives all if he truly repented it is forgiven he needs to be assured that God loves him and he is in the perfect image that God made , what he needs to do is forgive himself , peace be with you both x
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My 36 year old healthy husband had a heart attack at work and coded 3 times he could still hear and feel everything when they were working on him. When he came home from the hospital he was a different person. It was scary and awful to watch him struggle. Two months later while back at work light duty (he’s an electrician) there was an arc flash and he was burned from his torso up. He went through so much recovering and all the trauma. He still has memory issues and is emotional etc. I had to separate from him for 2 months last year to get him to go to get help for PTSD and it’s worked wonders! He still has memory issues but things are getting better for him. Sounds like your husband may need some therapy and/or see a neurologist also.
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May he find peace. God is forgiveness and Love:latin_cross:
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I definitely would have him talk to a psychiatrist and have him evaluated. Let him know that a 20 year old dating someone under 18 is not a sin. If they were intimate, of course that was a sin but if he feels bad and regrets it and has asked God for forgiveness then he needs to know that God has forgiven him. Pray with him and for him. There are many church options to do online as well. Prayers for you both
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If he is truly a good Christian then he should know that God has forgivin him . I’ve worked with alsheimers patients and they do remember past happenings quite vividly it’s the here and now that they can’t at times.
Being on a vent is traumatizing. It’s not uncommon for PTSD after events like that. Need to talk to his Dr.
He needs to get organic ginger capsules extra strength tell him he’s forgiven god is love
Praying for a miracle
Wish I could tell him that girl is now a strong lady and he is forgiven . See I was that girl not with him but still that girl. Sending prayers .
He could have Dementia but God will forgive him I would talk to a psych Dr he is just regretting what he did .
Also have him checked for breakdown. I went thru 9 major breakdowns with my mom and she acted like that!
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He most likely feels because of what he did ,this is why this happen to him, If he is still in the hospital talk to his Dr & see what he things, especially if the Dr is his long time Dr, He will notice some changes, if that is the case. But some people feels things happen to them, because of what they did when they were younger. Also if he is a Christian man, have the minister, Priest or whomever runs the church where he goes to,
come talk to him
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what a life to live believing that crap… poor fella.
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Get a referral to a Gerontologist
Sounds like your husband has dementia
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This sounds like a difficult situation that you and you husband are dealing with. I think it would be a good idea to meet with his general practitioner and possibly get a referral for mental health care. Also from the religious aspect and being raised in a Christian home, we know that the Bible tells us that if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness 1 John 1:9. Also, we live under Gods grace and and we are not punished for out past mistakes❤️. As a spouse keep encouraging him and reminding him of what the Bible says about grace and forgiveness.
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I have read somewhere that being sedated for even a short time can bring on depression.
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People think about many things when coming close to death. The good and the bad. We don’t know the full story about this underage girl, nor what he may or may not deserve for what he did. His actions may be eating at him.
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My dad had covid and was in the hospital. He was minutes away from being put on the vent since he was at 100% oxygen. He was in the hospital and rehab for a total of six weeks. He is still on 6 liters of oxygen. He is a miracle but emotionally he is not the same man that he was pre covid. It takes a lot of patience but I’m just so glad that we have him. I should add that my dad is seeing someone for depression. I’d say your husband needs that terribly!
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Nothing like this has ever happened but I will pray for comfort and peace in his heart
Could be icu delirium. A psychiatrist and medications can help. I’ve seen this a handful of times when I worked in the hospital.
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The new awakening. Start some dbt therapy or even a talk therapy will help even.
After being in a hospital for so long the energy exchange is insane. He is overwhelmed by it all and realized death is closer than we think.
Near death experience isn’t a light one to conquer.
Talk therapy and maybe even get him started on massages from a professional.
Lots and lots of trauma to work through.
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Often times once we experience a traumatic experience with our Health like being put on the vent it can exacerbate things that were there already but so mild you chalk it up to age, or he’s always like that etc nothing that throws off too many red flags! Following events such as being on a vent and going thru those moments where you thought you were going to die is a lot to process! Emotional lability with a fixation of being punished for something for over 50+ years ago is definitely something you need to discuss with his dr ASAP. I don’t know if he’s home, in the hospital, rehab etc or I could tell you specifically who to talk to! Developing the PEs after being extubated has been another triggering event that reinforces his thoughts of God is punishing him! Also, have your pastor/preacher/etc come visit and he may be able to provide comfort for your husband in that it’s not God punishing him! Definitely get the emotional lability looked at tho and make sure he’s not developing an underlying contributing factor such as a UTI and that his oxygen saturations are remaining above 93%. Could be a few medical things going on still before we put dementia on it and call it a day however it wouldn’t be uncommon if after such an event that it brought it more to the surface!
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if it was covid maybe it’s related…. i had covid induced psychosis after i had covid and needed intense therapy and medication
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Remind him it’s apart of the broken world we live in. God has forgiven him. God does not hold grudges and bad things happen to good people and that’s when he needs to have his faith be the highest.
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This is a study done by dr’s at Vanderbilt. I believe your husband might be suffering from delirium (sedation induced) not dementia. Please make an appointment with a Neurologist ASAP!
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Its not against the law to go out /have consensual sex with someone 18yo. She was an adult. Assuming something else happened that is worrying him.
Remind him that he has lived a good life all these years and ask his religious guide to visit him so he can confess and make his peace with his God.
My dad lost a leg to diabetes a year and a half ago. In November he went to the podiatrist to be sent directly to the hospital to have his second leg amputated. He developed delirium for several weeks. Didn’t know where he was or why. Completely combative to health-care workers, refusing treatment, etc. He’s much better now, he’s completely lucid but doesn’t remember anything. He’s very emotional, sensitive and sometimes just rude & mean. Traumatic medical events can really stir up mental reactions. I hope your husband bounces back. I’d suggest asking for a neurology consult.
God forgives pedophiles 
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Please remind him if he has asked forgiveness God cast our sins as far as the East is to the West and as deep as the ocean. Pray with him in earnest. And if he has the tiniest of doubts pray the sinners prayer with him. Reassure him that God forgives EVERY sin.
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Must father in law developed the starts of dementia from being sedated and from pain meds at age 72.
In addition to getting him checked out by a neurologist, remind him of “my” Bible verse. “My Grace is sufficient for you for My power is made perfect in weakness.” I have always wanted to find a plaque or poster with this on it so I could have it where I would see it constantly. If you can find one, it might be helpful for him. I hang on to this verse every day of my life.
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It’s very common to show symptoms of dementia post vent and Covid most cases it reverses I see it all the time as I work in the hospital
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Tell him if he has asked God for forgiveness and really meant it. He is forgiven. The only unforgiven sin is telling God to leave you alone and wanting nothing to do with him. If it would help your husband, have him ask forgiveness from the girl.
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It may be the meds they gave give it a few more days. My mom had icu psychosis it cleared up after a few days.
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Let him know that God has already forgiven him. Comfort him. Give it some time before you have him tested for Dementia. I have long haul covid. I was diagnosed in March of 2021. I did not have to be put on a vent but due to my low oxygen (76%) and being on oxygen for 11 weeks, I do have memory issues and a lot of depression. Thankfully I have an amazing support system. Please continue to be his support system and just really pay attention to him. If things don’t show improvement , then consider having him tested. Good Luck and I will pray for you both!
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he needs to see a counselor. a lot of people who survive being on a vent and feel they came so close to death have issues dealing with that. they relive things in their minds and those get magnified. Please see if he will speak with a Pastor or counselor asap. praying for you both
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People can remember from there past if he can remember let him speak freely about god will forgive him and start a another day we all make mistakes and say things but please give permission for him to talk before anything happens my dad went to his grave not revealing that my older sister want not her father because my mother wanted kept a secret by my mom he abide by her wishes but went to his grave not discussing with older sister about her abdoption which she has health issues of concern that is question that other siblings do not have so please allow him to speak god will forgive him
My pappy was a preacher, lived by the bible and did everything he was supposed to. He had dementia and we watched him become a complete stranger and it hurt so bad! It wouldn’t hurt to have him checked.
Ok I was on a ventilator for 3 weeks, for what was basically exactly like covid before covid had a name in 2017 and a pulmonary embolism directly after. The PE was caused from being on the ventilator and stationary for so long. The drugs they use to keep you sedated are AWFUL. They cause hallucinations like you would never believe. I cried for months afterward. I didn’t know who my family was. Heck, I didn’t even know who I was. It slowly came back, but not everything. But the damage it did to my mind is still very strong, 4 years later. I still cry over it, and I have severe PTSD from the drugs used. No one really talks about this aspect. I know they used to put on a TV show and then drug me and my mind would take that show and twist it into a story of my life. Sometimes I still don’t know if a story is real or a hallucination. I had to ask for so long because I thought so many things were real that were not. Your husband could be suffering from this. The hallucinations are no joke and make these “memories” so horrifically intense. I would recommend a therapist asap, and a trauma specialist because he’s going to be suffering from the trauma of this for a very long time.
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It seems like a lot of people are assuming that this not 18 year old girl was 17. That may not be the case and that is why there is so much guilt. What if she was 7? Does everyone still have the same sentiment?
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Remind him, ask & you shall be forgiven. It’s between him & God. God is forgiving. He needs to forgive himself
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If he’s never remembered anything during your entire marriage, why do you suddenly feel you should get him checked when he admits to a wrong he did many years ago?
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Tell him that if he has truly asked god to forgive him for that one thing then God will forgive but if he feels God hasn’t forgave him then it’s not God hasn’t foregiven him that he has has not for give him self
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He may need a therapy n
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reassure him of God’s forgiveness–God has promised forgivness if we repent rhw devil may be whispering lies in his ear—thats what he did to eve in the garden—did God really say? God is not a liar he promises to forgive tell satan out loud God is not a liar–you are!
When it seems like there is no future, we only have the past . I live in the past a lot.
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Traumatic life threatening events
Can often have this effect not only devout Christians but also people who don’t follow religion of any description
In a way it’s like reflecting on choices that were years ago
In his mind he is probably feeling like he is being judged for something he did decades and decades long ago
But hasn’t been able to admit to it
To him it’s lifting a burden that he feels he has been carrying around for so long
I would suggest getting a referral to a neurologist
Just to make sure there isn’t anything neurological going on
Try to bring someone in who can get him to say more and give him the sense of repentance he so desperately needs
Could be ICU delerium. Happens after being intubated due to meds, etc
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Sounds like a guilty conscious with a half assed confession and there’s more to it.
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Maybe he’s remembered it his whole life and never wanted to confess it until faced with death. Being 21 and dating someone that isn’t 18 isn’t a huge deal if that someone is 17. Being 21 and dating someone that isn’t 18 IS a huge deal if that person is like 13.
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Could be clinical depression.
Honestly I’d say … at 71 if you 2 have had a beautiful 40+ years together that’s right there should tell him something. If he has made it 50 years, God ain’t gonna wait that long to punish someone. He wouldn’t of been granted a full and happy life with you and your family logically speaking if he were going to be punished…if it hurts his heart that bad and really thinks he did something wrong he should apologize to the woman if you can track her down. If she’s not around find the family and apologize or simply write it down and burn it for the universe out there to be accepted in a different way… wishing you the best…
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Check back with the hospital…whatever happened happened years ago…there may be some truth but it doesn’t matter…
The here and now matters.
He might have an infection or bad reaction to his meds…so get him checked , hope your both OK xx
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He needs time and patience to let the drugs they used work out of his system. I understand that many ICU patients - especially those on a ventilator react similarly. He might benefit from talking to a professional. My mom was absolutely batsh1t when she cam off the ventilator after heart surgery - 1997.
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There have been studies linking COVID infection to mental health problems… Depression, anxiety, brain fog etc… May just need a little help until it subsides…
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It could be he’s really does remember and just doesn’t want to say it because it’s that horrible and he may think you will leave him and maybe even die in jail…I would talk with him and tell him that your never leaving him know matter how bad it really it and it was such a long time ago.Tell him it could be because he has not confessed to anyone else and that he needsto let it out and forgive himself…Make an appointment with a person that can hypnotize him if he still says he can’t remember maybe that can help bring it all out.Did he ask GOD for forgiveness?If he’s afraid of talking about because of jail time remind him there’s no evidence of anything or he would have been arrested and it was solong ago unless there’s evidence of a crime they are not going to take it to trial it costs to much money for an unknown case.You can try having him talk with a priest as well that might help.Hes going to continue feeling guilty untill he talks about what happened and forgives himself.Well in my opinion
If he was on the ventilator because he had covid I would check into covid psychosis… Also he has been forgiven he made it off of that ventilator
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My husband had cancer had a bloodclot burst in his brain and he had surgery,he lived another nine months he was in a coma state for about 3 weeks, he was very emotional cried over anything he was a retired military man who before was not so emotional a Dr said it was something he had no control over a side effect of what he. Went through,family friends felt uncomfortable by the personality change but it mattered, not he survived an time memories who knows what happens in someones past,illness stress medication all factor in love him now as you have already almost lost him prayers for you both,I know you have suffered so much yourself as well but time is all we have ,love godspeed to you both
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Unfortunately it does sound like he may have dementia, I’d have him evaluated as soon as you can. Best of luck xx
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My sister had a neighbor that had a complete psychotic break after Covid. He did crazy and scary stuff completely out of his character. He put them in a lot of debt and even had a warrant out for his arrest. He is now mortified as he is starting to remember everything. He is still recovering and will prob not ever be able to work.
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God would of punished him already and made him learn his lesson by now if he was going too if he hadn’t learned from the lesson already!
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He needs counseling. He’s having a mental health crisis and a faith crisis.
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Perhaps have a priest of your religion come over to take confession for his “sins” and do whatever it is for forgiveness. Then you can tell him his sins were forgiven.
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God is not punishing him, he is punishing himself. God does not hold grudges
He needs to let go and let God handle it.
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It could be after effects from the meds he was given while on the ventilator. They can be very hard on the brain and memory. Talk to his doctor.
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And 50 years ago times were so different. Ppl got married before 18! Reassure him he is a wonderful man and his younger years do not matter anymore.
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Sadly it sounds like he may have dementia or he’s having a breakdown of some sort. God has forgiven him for whatever he feels he’s done wrong. He’s still here and he’s off the vent. God is not a vengeful God. He is a forgiving God. Please seek help for your husband.
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Maybe there’s a little more to the story if he’s that worried? See if he’ll explain more detail then just gone out w someone underage … and yes I agree w above comment about bringing someone to confess his sins and seek forgiveness. I honestly don’t know how much that works but I have seen people deep in faith turn to that and it changed their view on life. Prayers for you and your husband
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It happens sometimes after vent episodes and heart surgery. Personality swings are legit. Speak with a counselor that can help him work with and manage the emotions. The feelings are overwhelming him. He needs help.
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Even if so, weren’t times different back then. Like age wise when it comes to dating. People were getting marries before 18.
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He needs his mental health looked at. I’d also be concerned with why if he knows the Bible so well is he so concerned that’s why God is mad? There’s plenty of children married off to adults in the Bible. God doesn’t care about children. He let’s them starve, be abused, get sick, and die. One time he even specifically culled children for the sins of adults. Yet they are supposed to be the innocent? Who cares what God thinks? Plus you’re supposed to be forgiven if you ask Jesus into your heart.
If he’s feeling THAT BAD to this day I’m worried he did more than just date someone under the age of 18. In fact his devotion to God might be a red flag too mixed with that secret. When my great grandma got dementia she started acting like when she was a kid, and she was a REALLY mean and awful child, and that absolutely translated into her dementia. Be careful.
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Sounds like a near death experimece. And repentance gains forgiveness but until he forgives himself, he won’t move on.
I’d 100% get him into therapy though.
40yrs ago, a 20yr old and a 16/17 year old wasn’t a huge problem for people. Even now, a 20yr and a 17 yr old is fine for some.
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Mental health care for him ASAP. He needs to be able to work through his guilt feelings (and possibly other issues) with a professional.
Remind him God loves him unconditionally and died for his sins so he is already forgiven. Many ministers are not allowed to provide mental health counseling as they are not trained to do so
, but it might make him feel better for a reverend or prayer group to pray with and for him.
Also get a medical work up to see what might contribute to this. Does he have a brain tumor? Is he at risk for strokes? Doesn’t sound like a COVID symptom, but I’m no expert.
You both might benefit from meditation. Mindfulness, Tai chi, yoga breath work or regular yoga or labyrinth walks (actually rooted in Christianity) could make you both calmer, happier , healthier and more accepting of life’s vicissitudes.
Just speak with him more about this. He could have possibly had the hand of God with him so to speak and wasn’t ready to go while being on the ventilator. God doesn’t hold grudges and forgives everyone. He knows this being a Christian man. Just reassure him and be there for him. He can talk to a Clergy/Pastor if that would help him. But yes, the world was different back then. People married young.
Oxygen deprivation and being in a horrible health condition can do a lot to the mind
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Yes. The virus can cause ur mental health to go bad ive known people to get anxious. And depressed and even say they cant sleep go see his doctor
It’s just satan messing with his mind. I was recently on a vent for 2 weeks and they found a blood clot in my leg. I felt like it was a death sentence too at 1st. It will mess with your mind. I’m sure they have him on blood thinners and most will dissolve. If God is putting it on his mind, all he has to do is repent. Obviously it’s something he has carried with him many years. Tell him God loves him and wants to deliver him from this once and for all. If he came off the vent and out of the hospital, God is not done with him yet, he still has work for him to do or he would have taken him home. Just remind him of all of that.Prayers for you both
My dad had a botched surgery, was vented, septic. He’s never been the same since. Trauma can cause dementia to be kicked into overdrive. He takes medications to slow the progression, so far they have been working pretty well.
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