What should I do?

My kids dad slept with a 17 yr old and got her pregnant. My kids no longer see their father because of it and other reasons. She just left him due to dv. She wants to stay in contact so the kids can know their sibling. What would yall do? Im really in the fence about the whole situation

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What should I do?

Yes, let them have a relationship . Not the kiddos fault

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So he’s a pedophile. Gross. Call the cops lol

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Let them have a relationship with their sibling!!!

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Let them have a relationship. It’s not the kids fault!!

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Its not the kids fault for his actions. That shouldnt stop your children from knowing their sibling.

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I’d put his ass in jail! 17??

Sorry your dealing with this. Regardless the situation with dad for you both your children are siblings and if she isn’t someone you feel will become a problem for YOU and YOUR children I’d stay in touch… I’m sure there’s more to the story but I’d try to be civil for the kids if I was in the situation

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Definitely. The children have nothing to do with their dads bad choices.

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I would let the kids know each other. They are siblings after all and it’s not the kids fault their dad is a jerk

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Ummm. Your kids dad is a pedophile. I can only hope the cops are involved! As for the siblings, it’s not their fault.

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Let the siblings have a relationship none of those children are at fault for a grown mans decisions.

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It isn’t entirely the girl’s fault for likely being manipulated into thinking she was loved by the “dad”. I say make her feel she has a support system, especially if she doesn’t have a good one at home.

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Not the kids fault they don’t have to know her but should definitely b allowed to see siblings something should and can b set up to make tht happen

How old are the kids? Maybe let them be the ones decide if that’s what they want?

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Let the kids choose what they want to do, the baby is their sibling after all.

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Definitely not the kids fault so if you’re children would like to know their sibling I’d definitely let them!

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How old are the kids
Let them decide

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Theyre siblings regardless of the manner of how they were made. I think its very mature and wonderful that shes wanting them to have a relationship. I hope it goes smoothly.

Also… wow. Fck that guy. :nauseated_face:

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I’d stay in contact for the kids’ sake. We have my husbands son full time now, and we get his brother from his mothers side a few times a month so they can spend time together. Siblings should be together

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Yes keep in contact they need their siblings.

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Let them know their sibling! :heart: best of luck mama.

If it is the proper state that should be illegal and law enforcement should become involved…

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I think regardless of the situation, the kids are siblings and thats where maturity comes in. They didn’t hurt each other, and should not suffer because of it. In years to come when you guys have passed on, they will have each other.
Stay in communication, please.

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I don’t see why it would be a bad thing. Your children will know their sibling. Whether you like the circumstances or not, that child is their sibling, and if I were them I’d want to know them. She isn’t with him anymore so I don’t see the problem with keeping in touch.

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He’s in jail correct? And definitely let the kids get to know each other… sorry what a horrible situation :pensive:

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They absolutely deserve to know there sibling.

I don’t see what the question is? Their dad is the one who screwed up, not those kids. No reason they shouldn’t have a relationship w their sibling.

As a parent and the grown thing to do is let those kids have a sibling Bond. Don’t be bitter and take it out on the kids where they can’t be around each other or get to know each other. Whatever happened to the adults and the relationship if they stepped out it’s not the kids fault. Every time something happens between parents the kids get dragged in it and they get the s*** end.

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I would say let them have a relationship with their sibling… if THEY want to. It’s not this girls fault and it’s not the kids fault.

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It’s definitely not the kids fault… They should know their sibling as long as you too can stay civil. Talks about dad should be completely off the table and not discuss since you both have your own drama with him. 

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If your children want a relationship with the baby let them. But don’t force it!

What their did was wrong but common who doesn’t make mistakes, and the little one is innocent but if they ain’t game then it’s their right but I would suggest you keep in touch for their sake cause one day they will understand, forgive ànd would like to be in contact with their sibbling

Kids had nothing to do with it there siblings

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Stay in contact for the kids. Don’t make it about, him , you or the 17yr old. Make it about the kids period.

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Been there dealt with this twice lol. Kids should get to know their siblings. Kids should also have an input on how they feel about situations.

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The children had nothing to do with the actions of their biological father and deserve the opportunity to know one another.

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The kids are innocent in the situation. They should absolutely have a relationship with their sibling. The fact that the other mother is only 17 and is mature enough to reach out for the best interest of the kids speaks volumes. I wouldn’t deny them of that. Especially if it’s a healthy relationship between the 2 of you.

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I wouldn’t make that decision right now. Let the baby be born and decide after that. It’s nothing you have to rush

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This is some jerry springer stuff right here

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Never would I. What do the kids want?

No not at this moment. Maybe later on in life

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Leave the kids out of adult situations. They’ve done nothing to anyone, let them see each other.

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Don’t punish the children because their dad is a predator. Let them know their sibling!

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Allow the kids to see their sibling. It’s not the kids fault and in the end they will resent you for keeping them for each other. It’s not easy by any means but in my opinion the kids should be together

Siblings deserve the parents acting like grown ups. Sibling connections matter. Period.

I am in currently in this situation. The children have nothing to do with the parental issues. Allow it.

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Well she’s literally a child having a child so I would keep in touch so the kids know their sibling. Your kids dad is a POS

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I’d absolutely stay in contact with her. I love that she is trying to be fair to your children. Now I also think I’d repòrt him for slèeping with a minor

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How old is she now? How old are the kids? There’s different factors here but they should grow up knowing their siblings. Don’t blame the kids for the parents mistake.

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Don’t take it out on the kids. I’d let them stay in contact if that’s what they’d like.

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Let them see the half-sib but keep the dad far far away…hell, should be giving any of his electronics to the cops.

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I know the situation is terrible but for the kids sake, let them know their sibling please. If I had a sibling out there and I didn’t know I would be devastated just because of what happened between my parents and I would have to suffer , you know what I mean? DO it for the kids.

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I wouldn’t force anything but I definitely wouldn’t keep them from their sibling either. I would wait until the baby is born as well before mentioning it to your kiddos just in case you don’t want them getting all excited and her changing her mind on it all etc…

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Maybe keep that open for your kids to decide

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Is this girl decent?
Other then the fact she slept with your husband.

Tell her when the child is old enough to comprehend a relationship then yall can talk about it. I would be honest and say it’s too much right now but let’s talk in a year or 2

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Leave the kids out of adult situations. They’ve done nothing to anyone, let them see each other. Periodddddd

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Sorry this happened to you. But this kids are innocent in this situation.

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If your kids are old enough ask them what they want. If it was me, I would tell her to have that child contact it’s siblings when it’s older. You don’t owe her, or that baby, a relationship with your children.

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Allow them to see their sibling if they want to. Let it be on their terms, tho.

Ew, how old is the dad and his existing children?

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It’s not about you or him. It’s about your kids and the kids have a right to know their sibling. And hopefully he’s rotting in jail.

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Call the cops on your bd for sleeping with someone underage.
Let the kids stay in contact. They’re still siblings and dont need this taken out on them.

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Just because the father is a pedo pos doesnt mean the gurl and her baby should be punished. Let the kids know eachother. Raise yalls family without him.

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I would let them decide don’t hold that baby accountable for what the father did

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I’d be the bigger person and put my feelings aside for the sake of my children if they want to know there sibling. Family is always first option.

Did he go to jail? I would let the siblings get to know each other. You didn’t go into detail about the affair so not sure you were still married but I wouldn’t blame the girl she is too young to make the best decisions, she might need a good role model

Imo my child wont know that kid at all…

If your kids want a relationship with their sibling I’d allow it. If they don’t then maybe keep in contact with her like on fb or whatever incase they decide later. I wouldn’t push a relationship.

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She seems naive to want to build a bond throughout the whole circumstance who does that but go for it set your boundaries be assertive kids are not a fault plus there siblings should be a blessing .

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Honestly? I would wait till the mother is 18. You have no clue who could try and step in, seeing as she is a minor

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Siblings need to know eachother.

Stick together and let the kids meet their siblings. I hope he is rotting in a jail cell

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I would leave it up to the kids .

You don’t have to let your kids know how old she is. Just let them know their sibling. It isn’t her or the child’s fault. He took advantage of her.

Idk do they really need to have a relationship? I just feel like they ok w out it

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I would speak for myself and let the kids decide for theirselves providing they are old enough. Should they not be old enough, I would make the decision. Though it’s not the child’s fault, if the kids don’t want anything to do with their Dad they probably don’t want anything to do with their half sibling.

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The kids are innocent in this whole situation. All the kids seem to have lost contact with the father. At least let them see their sibling. Of course you can be there, they dont have to be alone with her ect. But they do deserve to know their sibling

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Good for you for getting rid of him and I would try to let th3 kids have a relationship with her kid even though it’s sucks

Has nothing to do with the kids. If they can be in each others lives safely I would let them

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Your children need to stay in contact with their sibling . There is no other answer. Your feelings don’t matter in this situation. Sorry not trying to come off mean but we all need to put certain feelings aside .

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You really wanna punish your kids for their dad being a dumb a**? Not trying to be mean but your kids deserve to know their sibling…

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My dad was in his mid/older 30s and got a 16 yr old pregnant (only a few yrs older than me) my dad’s never been in the picture at all but I know my sister qnd love her to death even tho I barely see her (different lives and all not because we weren’t allowed although we weren’t for a while)

The kids are innocent in all this so let the kids bond unless she starts being crazy and violent and unsafe behavior. Also never allows unsupervised with her because she’s naive and may end up back with him or may allow him near your children

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There siblings let them know each other

By then at least she’ll b 18 yrs old

Personally the only reason my daughter has a relationship with her little sister is because the 2 mom’s made it Possible

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Leave it up to the kids to decide if they want that relationship or not

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Kids deserve to be able to have a relationship with their other sibling. My youngest sister (19yr younger than me, youngest of my dads kids so she is my 1/2 sister ) was kept from her older 4 siblings after her mother and our father broke up. It really sucked. Fast forward to now and she has been in our custody for 7yrs.

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First things first depending on his age I would call the cops and he would probably be put on the sexual predator list. Which means he won’t be allowed around children for the rest of his life- she is pregnant and if she plans on keeping the baby I wouldn’t hold anything against the baby and have them get to know their siblings it’s not their fault that their dad is a loser and a predator however we don’t know his age only the mistresses age

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Sorry this happened. But the kids are innocent I would let them see there sibling

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The dad should go to jail for sleeping with underage kid.

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17? Seems like she was taken advantage of and will nded support in the years so come. Who knows, you guys come become close! At 17 did you really know anything about a grown mans marriage and how important it is not to get in between those things? Not really, not fully at least. Im sure as the years go and she grows she will see how not right the situation is. I think that little baby in her belly 100% deserves to be welcomed into the world just as your children were, just my opinion! I hope it works out for you :two_hearts::pray:

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Allow them to see their siblings remember this is a young mother who has absolutely no clue what she is doing and is alone doing so be there for her and allow the siblings to bond

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Hell no, I wouldn’t have no part of any of it. Don’t leave your door open to that kind of chaos, she isn’t to be trusted anywhere near y’all. Fuck that.

You said your kids no longer see their father because of that and other reasons and that this girl just now left him. It sounds like they already don’t have a relationship with her or her child, from reading between the lines. If you’re comfortable with it and your children want a relationship with them, I’d say figure out some way to do that. I know it would be difficult. But if your children don’t want a relationship with them, do not force them or try to make them be involved. If they don’t want to, who could blame them?

Say yes it’s not the kids fault and sounds like she’s being an adult about it

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I would definitely let them see each other they are siblings. Just because he is a douchebag doesn’t mean you have to be

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