He’s still controlling you and your gone your safety is theirs also go forward with everything and record everything every word all of it
You definitely need to proceed with what you’re doing, not just for the child support but for the time with your son. That is ultimately more important, the child support will be assigned by the courts regardless of whether he likes it or not or if you want it or not. He is bullying you and intimidating you and he’ll be lucky to get visitation after you slap him with a protection order for threatening you. Stand your ground even tho it’s scary. I’ve been there and it gets better!! Fight and advocate for your kids, they need you! And the less time your son spends with this man probably the better. So he doesn’t grow up and disrespect women like his dad does. Lean on your family for emotional support.
You got this mama!
You need a protection order as well as file for full custody of the kids and get child support!
This isn’t acceptable. You’re afraid BUT you let him take your children. Get the police involved do something protect your kids and yes her child support even if you never touch it. And get some help bc this isn’t a mothers reaction. You are focused completely on yourself & before anyone babbles about victim blaming, I’m worried about the kids. Thanks.
Don’t let your child leave with a man you are scared of. Narcissist love children because they are easy to manipulate and are still centered around that parent for love and admiration, the minute the child starts to grow and develop their own thoughts about things then they’ll get treated exactly as you are. Get the protective order put into place. Get child support. And recommend supervised visits. If the mother is not safe neither is the child. Protect your children at all cost. That is your first responsibility as a parent.
Get the protection order until child custody is established threw the courts that’s why it’s their to keep him from basically threatening and trying to hurt you for asking him for custody and child support !! Ect he can’t do that
Nothing would stop me seeing my babies. I’d go to court and make sure custody is clear for both of the children and put things in place to legally protect yourself from this man. I would get a third party for exchanges so he doesn’t ever need to know where you live x
Too many holes in this story, why do you not see your son everyday🤔
You need to do what YOU feel is best … your kids, your situation
Get the child support. Get the order of protection. Cover ur ass so he can’t do anything to u. Also make sure u watch ur surroundings. If he makes u that afraid then u need to tell someone n protect urself at all costs
He’s threatening u get the order get the support and if he violates he goes to prison, it’s ur son or him. Ur kid needs u also, stand up for ur damn self
Protection order and go to court and file for custody. I know it’s hard and scary trying to navigate all of this with an abuser but you need to stand up to him at this point and get your power back. If you have any of those threats from him in messaging or even voicemail that may help you in the long run. Also document everything from the threats etc. do not let him keep holding your child as a hostage. He’s only taking your son because he knows that he has control and power over you.
My ex threatened to off me if I moved the kids out of his house then tried to do just that when I started moving them out. Biggest thing I learned was to get police involved he went to jail for 1 week but I was granted a 6 yr restraining order, he willingly gave me full custody in exchange for “supervised visits” (supervised by his mom) and he’s paying child support for 1 kiddo. We moved in with my mom for 2 yrs and “co-parented” then moved without telling him where we moved to. Met up with him at a random police station in a different town for visitation exchanges for about 3 years… It’s been 7ish(give or take a few months) years and things are pretty normal now. He is somewhat getting his life together and we gave him our address about 2 years ago but it’s always in the back of my head that he could have “off-ed” me then and probably still wants too:woman_shrugging:t3: I won’t ever fully trust him and will never not have my guard up. I’m always protected when I know he’s coming around and won’t be surprised if he ever does try again
The fact that you are scared brings up so many flags. If he is threatening you file the report. Write everything down. Because eventually he could start using your kids against you. Please don’t let him off his responsibility of taking car of his kids and don’t let him bully you. get everything you need in place. If the child support is gonna happen make sure you do set up a way to protect yourself and your kids from him.
Get the child support and get a ppo or an order because he’s threatening you !
Those are your kids to and you have just as much right to see them as him !!.
And he needs to help pay as those are his kids to !
PROTECT YOURSELF…AND ANYONE ELSE Call the police if he bangs again, Get the PO/RO…these are your kids dont let him bully you
You need to get this done now, so its a court order now, or he could take both your kids at any point and refuse to allow you to see them at any point, there wouldn’t be a damn thing you can do about it. You need a court order to protect both yours and his parental rights, that outlines what he can and can’t do. Or you’re forever going to be manipulated to doing what he wants. Put your foot down, woman! It isn’t about you and him, it’s about whats best for the children. They need and deserve both parents. He is using your fear of him and empty threats to manipulate you from filing. Also, He isn’t going to be able to railroad you through this process. With a child support order, mediation is ordered by the court first, in which you are given the opportunity to decide what you two can agree on. At this meeting, there is someone else there to control the situation and act as a mediator between you. You wouldn’t be alone in a room. In some cases, you may be able to appear via phone call and not in person. I wouldn’t let him off the hook. If you both want 50 50, then fine. But there’s no reason you should be stuck paying the entirety of the childcare. That should be 50% his as well. In the event you can’t come to an agreement, it all gets decided by a judge. Most cases don’t end that way. The mediator’s job is to get you to come to an agreement. You need to be careful with being consistent with seeing both your children, daily, or he can and will use it against you. All he’d have to do is document the days you see him. Once a week is bullshit. Fight. File for emergency custody. Do SOMETHING. If you back down, this is going to be your life for the next 18 years. Are you ok with THAT? My advice, is do it. All of it. There is things in place to prevent him railroading you into submission. Use them. Talk to the advocates. Theyll help you.
Hes still controlling you, dont allow him too.speak to women’s aid they are fantastic,it’s hard but trust me it gets better. They will support you in leading a safe life and for you to make your own decisions about your life. Good luck xx
If you are scared for your safety immediately get a dv protective order.
I unfortunately was too late, when I got mine in place. My kids father jumped on top of my car causing a huge dint and alarm to sound off. He punched in both my side mirrors also. The kids were terried and screaming inside the house.
I called the police and they were the ones who suggested me to get a protective order put in place. I had a 48 hour temporary no contact order in place until I could attend the court hearing a few days later.
Don’t cancel the child support, as that’s money to help towards your kids and money to help them in life x.
My kids father is a narcissist and always finds some sort of way to blame me for everything.
I found blocking him the easiest way, and going through his mum for him to see the kids.
We now have no contact and is better off that way.
Young one, I can understand your fear - but unless you take control of YOUR life - he will control it. Start keeping texts and/or any type of contact- good and bad - keep a journal with dates and visits both his and yours. This will help your legal team protect you and your kids. Be very aware of your surroundings- as you should always - anyways.
Go thru with the custody order, best bet is to get a Lawyer, they can help you out better than the court ever will
Document this. And get your child back. I’m not quite sure why you split them in the first place. And get a protective order. Who cares if you’re the only parent in their lives. Is it really worth having your older one raised by a narcissist?
Listen to these women please! Don’t end up on the news, and leave your children without a Mom. I’ve been through it and it was absolutely terrifying! But I had to be strong for my kids. My ex is an absolute nightmare, and no way was I going to let him have total control over them. It’s hard, but you can get through it! And you will, and will feel better for it! He’s trying to keep you beat down and scared. It’s what they do! Once you start standing up to him, and getting things in place like an Order of Protection and set visitation times, you’ll have the control. And hopefully he won’t mess with you as much. Mine eventually went away. He knew he couldn’t keep getting away with his bs. Hugs
Stand your ground girl…he is bullying you because he gets away with it and he knows you are scared…you will only have to put up with what you tolerate…when you stand your ground and show strength…and make sure he knows clearly that he will have what rights YOU SAY HE HAS, he will learn to play nice about a few things…or he wont see his children at all and he will still have to pay for everything you ask for…you can ask the courts that he only have supervised visits because you are afraid of him…this will take his egoe down a notch also…defiantly put boundaries in place so he knows not to cross them…he can not be a threat to you or the kids then…yes stand your ground and dont back up …NOT ONE NOTCH…if he sees you backing down , he will push you harder…you have to back him down…and never let him see you cry or shake…stay strong…you will get through this…im sending you good vibes
If you’re really this afraid of this man I doubt that’s someone your children should be around anyway …
Child support, protective order, and go for custody of your kids with him only getting visitation every week. He sounds like an abusive, controlling, narcissist and that’s not good for your kids to be around either.
I get paid over $ 125 per hour w0rking from home. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my colleague makes over $ 19025 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is limitless.
M0re Info. https://frabjous-caramel-103.netlify.app/
This is so sad.
Why is your grandma letting him take the boy? You pay her. She works for you. She shouldn’t be letting him come over at all. Please go to a DV agency NOW. They will help you. You need to move. I would cancel the child support since an order links him to the kids & will give you less freedom to protect yourself.
I get paid over $ 125 per hour w0rking from home. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my colleague makes over $ 19146 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is limitless.
M0re Info. https://fascinating-hotteok-0874.netlify.app/
Talk 2 the police about the situation & threats. Communicating threats is against the law. u may need an atty.Since ur grandma is letting him take the child, talk 2 child protective services about all this. U need a different form of childcare & 2 live where he is not allowed on premisis 4 ur ( & kids) safety.
Get that protection order first up once that’s in place start sorting out custody arrangements. Is your son In your care? I’m confused sorry you said you don’t see him? If he’s not in your care I don’t know if you can claim child support
You’re going to have to go for custody, child support and the protective order. I know you’re afraid. Tell law enforcement and your lawyer. Make sure the judge knows. Make sure the prosecuting attorney knows. Tell victim’s assistance. Anyone who will listen to you. Go to a shelter with the kids for awhile if you have to. Don’t stop letting them know about his threats and freak outs. The law will have to do something.
when you have a kid/s … it needs to be all about the kid/s … ALL
My ex threw a fit over child support. Oh well, too bad. Let it be known he’s threatened you and if you have to, get sole custody of the chicken and a protective order.
File protective order and file for divorce, you can not live in fear,go to a self defense class and call police if he shows up acting out,Check to see if the police have a advocate to help and get that lawyer asap.Put heavy locks on your house
I do feel for you and Understand Your Fear and my only advice is to do whatever you feel comfortable with . Weigh up the child maintenance and ask yourself is this going to cause me more fear ? Do I have to do this No you don’t have to . I am well aware you should get child support money buy currently and by reading your post Fear is the strongest emotion you are feeling so for now and you Will get stronger do whatever is going to cause you less fear . You may not believe this but the absolute terror that you are currently feeling will go away and subside and maybe talk to a councillor about your feelings and the best way to handle them and good luck
Ah you their mum, stand up to him and take your kids back. Why do you all let this men scare you? They just bully you and push you all around. Please go and seek legal help. This is not ok.
File protective order…your words were your scared…listen to that
Please let everyone you know that he has threatened you
Him threatening you will NOT look good for him. You need to get a temporary order of protection first (Go to the courthouse with a family member)
I get paid over $ 125 per hour w0rking from home. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my colleague makes over $ 20284 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is limitless.
M0re Info. https://cheery-moonbeam-62497.netlify.app/
No matter what document everything!!! This is not only for you but for them too!!!
unfortunately some self defence classes I would class as urgent. Some men nowadays are mental and the number of both assaults and deaths here is rising along with general tension.
Let child support know of your fear of being harmed. Take the steps. Also DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!!! Any harassment, any threats. Try to communicate mostly via text so it is a written documentation so you can print it off for court or try to only communicate with him via a court app like Ourfamilywizard app
He owes child support, get a restraining order. Don’t let him bully you
Go file for custody and child support NOW.
So when he says they will only have one parent does that him he will not help you or see the kids???so if you hide does that mean he is going to harm you/kids or take the kids???im not sure if you can just get a lawyer to handle the custody issue with out putting child support in place ….if you fear for your life you need to save all the texts and recorded phone calls of him threatening you and get a protective order in place
You need to let the courts know this information… That you are scared. I mean he should be held accountable but at the same time your children need you as their mother. Don’t let him bully you. Keep a journal for sure and save everything.
Uhh get the protection order and get your child!! Be sure someone friend family or cops for pick up and drop offs. Stop being afraid and make him afraid that he fucks it up he’ll loose complete custody of both children
File the protection order, go to court and let it go from there. If he is scaring you into believing he will hurt you then why risk the kids at all? If he can’t treat you as their mother then he doesn’t need to be around the kids anyway.
Document everything. Get a lawyer. Get a protective order and do not back down.
Go to child inforcement and file it …you can get a court appt lawyer and go to court for coustody save all messages show your lawyer all text and threats …If he makes you scared they prob want give him no rights to the kids …prsyers your way …
Just drop the child support for now but find a lawyer and file for 50/50 custody. Make sure you record all his threats and demands for court purposes so you have proof of his rage and uncontrolled behavior.
Get emergency custody and file for a restraining order. It means he can not come to your address without permission even if it’s to see his kids. He still has to let you know. If he shows up unannounced call the cops straight away. Have cameras installed at all the doors.
Be brave - these are your children . Go through with the legal
Call the police get legal advice
Get a temporary order and go to court. If he’s threatening you keep all of it. If he’s like that and has your son all the time your baby will probably end up just like him
Courts don’t help much. Just more money for the attorney