Hi Mamas, I’ve been divorced for about a year now. I’m the primary caregiver to my 4 year old girl. I’ve always done everything for her and we’re super close. It was a bad situation when I was going through the divorce, mainly unsafe for myself not so much my daughter. Anyway, I now regret being too kind through our divorce with my ex. She’s getting ready to start school and unfortunately I agreed to him having final say on education not knowing it would turn into what it is now. He’s making an executive decision to send her to school somewhere that adds a long commute for me and the school and academics are definitely below average. I’ve tried everything to reason with him and make him see it’s not what best for our daughter, but he’s going to make the decision clearly and blatantly based on what’s best for him. I wasn’t sure if there was anything legally I could do? I withheld a lot of information about him and incidents that occurred when we were together just to quickly get divorced and out of the environment I was in. I obviously regret it now, but I didn’t know if anyone had had success in going back and getting things changed in their paperwork and or custody arrangements? Please be kind, as I can’t really go into too much detail of why I was trying to get out so quickly. It was hell on earth for me. Any and all advice is welcome. Thank you all!
I would just put her in whatever district she is in the majority of the time. And in Missouri if you don’t live in a school district you have to pay tuition to that school.
You have this in writing?
If not, no!
Who has full custody? If she resides with YOU then she goes to school where YOU live. Stop being nice… even if you regret being too nice it’s not too late. You make the decision and lay down the law say it’s final. He can say whatever he wants just say ok that’s all I have to say and talk to you later. If you have custody and she lives with you full time he does not get to make the decision. You need to look after yourself and your child now.
Consult a lawyer, not Facebook.
No way Jose court is not going to force you to drive a ways for her to attend a school he approves of.
Take him back to court.
The long commute is a fail for you & your child. You two as co-parents; need to come to a decision that works for both of you & what works best for your child. Your child comes first … if your decision can not be in her best interests or agreeable, then I would take him back to court or at least consult a good family attorney.
Get a lawyer and have it changed.
The school is your choice! Put her where you want…he don’t like it, let him take you back to court…is he paying support…if not get it
You may have to petition to modify the order. I hope you seek counsel and get the help you and your daughter need. Please seek legal aide
I’m not sure but if you have her primary custody and if she live with you most of the time she should go to the school that covers your address.
But , I think you should talk to a family lawyer
Who has primary custody? It would depend on where they reside. If it’s not you, get a temporary order and then go back to court
I would put in a motion to modify your parenting order. Your state should have a free site providing you all the forms and step by step. Also your court that did your divorce will have the forms online.
I believe if you have residential custody, she goes to the school in that district. But, you need to make an appointment with a lawyer asap.
Also it depends on where you live.
I think speaking to a lawyer is the best way to go.
Are you sending her to private school?
I’d definitely consult a lawyer
Talk to your lawyer. Get it modified if it’s in writing. Don’t let him push you around. You’re the primary provider. Hugs momma!
You have to go to court all over again to change custody terms. There’s no way around it, especially if it’s already in current custody terms.
If its in court orders, you have to go back. Be Honest with jugde 100%. Or get lawyer.
I did the same thing. Trying to get away so fast. I lost the house, 8,000 dallors worth of electronics I just bought and barley get any support. All bc i didnt speak up i just wanted it over.
Usually once an order is done from custody judges cap it to two years unless you can prove within the time frame since see. Last he has done some serious shit to her. They won’t change it for you right away I don’t think.
Go back to court and have it modified. I would advise against putting her wherever you want before the judge allows you to.
Go back to court. If you are primary caregiver and she lives with you the majority of the time then she goes to school in your district. What judge agreed to him having say over her education?
Take him back to court…
Do you have primary custody? If so, she goes to what school you choose. Does he get the normal visitation like every other weekend? If so, he doesn’t really have a say.
Just because he gets a say doesn’t mean he gets final say, if you have joint or primary.
Normally if she lives with you, you get to say where she goes to school. He does have a say but as long as it doesn’t inconvenience you. It is very hard for him to fight it if you go ahead and put her in whatever school you think is best for her and convenient for you. The judge won’t grant him anything if he did take you to court because you’re obviously watching for your child’s well-being.
Make sure when u do go back have your fact about the school about the milage about how he treated u how things were and how thing have been to what is fixing to happen in the future
If you have custody, then you have the right to where you want here to go. He’s being selfish, not doing what’s best for your child.
Hey if you work, she needs to be close to you in case of an emergency. I’d go back to court if he has an issue with it. He sounds like a bully. Time to take a stand. Good luck to you and your precious daughter.
I’m sorry but you are wrong in tryna to make it harder on him. You’ve done said he didn’t ever do anything wring ti ‘his daughter’, the dad & daughter need this together. She’s living with you & just because this doesn’t suit best for you that is not a legit reason. Your not being fair, you keep fighting with him & he’ll get her living with him as maybe he should. Can’t understand so many of you guys just want everything & cause troubles. No, it’s not right if he abused you however, that is past. He deserves decisions & time with his daughter & si does his daughter deserve her Dad.
Just be true to yourself. Try to become aware of his bullshit, maybe some counseling for you and your daughter. Sounds like you are trying your best.
Get back in front of a judge for a parenting plan modification, if the school he chose is further away and academically substandard then you have a very strong “best interest of the child” defense, he will seem punitive if he pushes back
You can definitely file a motion to ammend anything in the original divorce order. If you don’t feel comfortable doing it yourself I would definitely suggest a lawyer. I’ve been through a couple of these and have gained a lot of confidence to not waste money on a lawyer every time.
Talk to your lawyer… You can have adjustment made before school starts
Why would you do that?? If he’s toxic to you he will always be to her maybe not physically but emotionally. Talk to your lawyer asap.
Go back to court. The judge will rule in favour of the child and the fulltime carer. Your Ex is being unreasonable the judge will see this.
Take him back to court.
I would put her in what school I wanted and then let him take me back to court and tell the judge it was an inconvenience for you… don’t let him get his way he’s just trying to be bitter and cause you problems!! Best wishes to you and your baby girl
Yes, go back to court. This time be honest
Ask a lawyer not facebook
You could always go back to court and have it fixed.
You could always go back to court and have it fixed.
I honestly don’t think he can move her from her jurisdiction, she would have to go to nearby schools I believe.I’d check on that first before going to a Lawyer. The school she went to can tell you how far from her residence she can go for a school.
They’ll assume you’re adding new information in to be spiteful. They won’t care about your relationship with him at this point. Go back to court and bring only facts.
Show the distances to the schools, the statistics etc. If you have her full time she should be in the district your house is in. If you can catch him in text, ask him why he’s choosing that school over the better one.
You want to prove if he’s being spiteful or not placing the best interests of his child first.
Go to Court. Amend Decree. Get a lawyer.
She is only 4 years old. She needs a secure, regular childhood at home with visitation for the other parent.
I don’t know about your case or who has custody but sending her off does not sound like what is in her best interests. You need to find a good attorney and make sure all the particular orders and all her needs are taken care of so she has a good routine and secure childhood.
Pretty sure you could take him back to court.
She will go to school in the district she lives primarily.
Can’t you just sign her up at the school she’s supposed to go to based on district? I would just sign her up and start bringing her there. If he has a problem he can take you to court.
You cannot add/edit information after the final judgment. You’ll just have to go to court and fight his decision and hope the judge will approve it. Hope you can prove that it’s in her best interest. 
Who is the primary physical custodial parent? If it’s you, the only way he can enroll her into his district is if he did the enrollment process during the open enrollment typically in February. She would have had to be chosen. I was an intern as a school social worker when I was going to school for my masters in social work. So this is how I know she can not attend his district unless he has primary physical custody or he did open enrollment. He has to live within the school district. Hope that info helps.
Not an attorney but it seems like you may need to go back to court to get the divorce amended. Good luck.
Not sure if this is a district by district policy where you live, we live in KS, wanted to enroll our first in school with his cousins b/c our parents took care of my sisters 2 and our 2. We were able to and there was no problem, there are some districts around us though that will charge a fee or can and will deny admittance depending on why the change (IE: in trouble too much, excessive absences not cleared by doctor, etc) So that’s the first thing I would find out about, it may be policy that a child attends the school within the boundaries of town where they live. I’m not sure if I missed it, but was this decision during your court hearing and included in divorce/custody papers? No offense, but this guy sounds like a dips*** if he wants his child to attend a school that has less than average academics. Ideally the choice would be made between the 2 if amicable and the policies were open.
I would just inform him if you both can’t agree then let him know you’ll get an attorney and start this process back over, maybe you’ll have some luck that way bc it will cost him money too if you go back to court.
She has to go to school in what ever district you live in unless it’s a private school
Her primary residence with the primary parent who has her Monday through Friday…will make the decision in what local school district to send the child…just because your ex husband wants to send her 30 miles away to a school of his liking is not realistic…tell him to go kick rocks…
I agree with everyone. Sounds like you need to get the divorce decree amended and lawyer up if you need to. Don’t be so nice this time around and withhold nothing.
Show documentation on why your school would be better and in her best interest
Get a lawyer and go back to court. Your ex is being unreasonable and throwing his weight around in one way he can. I’m guessing he was abusive in more ways than one, and this is just another part of that. He doesn’t care about your daughter’s education. He’s trying to be difficult.
Don’t you have to send your child to school in your district ( if not private?)
As far as I know your child needs to be enrolled in the district she lives in, with the primary caregiver. Double check that with an attorney and school district.
I would.just put her in the school you want chances are he prob want even bother taking you to court he just likes to make things difficult for you still trying to controll you, and if he does take you to court just say Wasnt practical going that school with it being so far away
He sounds like he’s trying to control (and abuse you) by doing this. Get an attorney and fight this. Having a child in a district not near her home is awful. I’ve loved it bec the all day kindergarten wasn’t the school closet to our home. She’ll have no new friends where she lives. And you’ll be miserable with that commute.
To add, my ex took me to court because I was leaving my 12 year old to walk four blocks home from school and I didn’t get home until an hour later. I didn’t even bother with an atty. I brought my boyfriend as moral support to see the magistrate. She threw out his complaint, but I did go in with supporting documentation showing why a 12 yo could be home alone.
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I don’t know your state or its laws or what your MSA says exactly but, at your daughter’s age, with you having primary custody, you have a basis to have your MSA amended to address allowing your daughter to attend school near your home, in her proper school district - if she is of public school age, to attend a school with higher academic credentials, at a location where she is likely to have more friends after school and in extra curricular events that you will have enrolled her in near your home. You will want to argue your job also makes the distance a hardship and the distance will prevent you from responding quickly in the event of an accident or illness, if these are true. You will either need to prepare the paperwork (or hire a paralegal or attorney to help you). You will need another court date and you will have to have your husband served. You need to jump on this as the courts are backlogged due to Covid and it will be the start of the school year before you know it.
At least you are aware of the provision. I wasn’t until my ex challenged me on it and on child support (which he had refused to pay for 15 years). I think there needs to be a very special hell for attorneys who allow this kind of thing to be included in an MSA.
Brace yourself for a battle and for legal fees of $10,000 to $20,000. Don’t let your attorney go overboard. If you can pay, they tend to bill. If you can find a decent paralegal, especially one at an aid society who has a supervising attorney, you will save a lot. If your (family law) court system has clerks that can answer questions, that’s a huge plus. Good luck to you.
Bring him back and tell the court you need to modify the custody/ parenting plan. Then explain the situation.
Following because I’m in a similar situation
Your the mom. Put your foot down !
I wouldn’t ask the question here. While people here are well meaning, most are not professionals who can answer the question without much more detail. I would suggest you see a lawyer, explain the whole history and ask what s/he could do to assist you. They may say you don’t even need a lawyer, explain how to file the required paperwork and have you represent yourself in court … if it gets there. There are not easy “battles” … good luck.
Typically primary care giver decides on school location as you’re responsible for the commute and the child is the one having to do the travel so something ideal for them. Mediate would be your first step and if that doesn’t work, you’ll need to amend orders or seek orders through the courts. If you have shared parental tho, you can enroll closer to home whilst you rectify the orders
Court first thing don’t ever lie during anything with the courts.
She needs a good school where they’re average to above average starting out with honestly. But I’ve never went to a bad district nor low graded one nor did my 4 year this year he went to the most sawed after one in my town thankfully we got him in last minute if she’s not blossoming by second semester take her out out where you want her.
(Went though this with son’s bio dad school issue)
I will never understand why y’all come running to fb for legal advice. Go talk to your lawyer
Katie Hamilton some people would like to hear others experiences sometimes before jumping to an attorney. That is what this page is for fyi.
Just go back to court and modify the school thing
Before I add my 2cents, I’d like to know if you live in the USA? Laws vary from state to state but they vary even more in a different countries.
Talk to a lawyer. No one here can really help.
That situation seems bizarre to me but I know laws vary depending where you live. I have primary care of my children but joint custody so we need to agree on things like education, medical and religion
You can definitely go back to court to try and modify the agreement
Take him back to court, petition for modification. Show that his decision is not being made in her best interest and that it would be better for you to be the one to makes such decisions.
Go back to court and modify your parenting agreement
Did you make this in the custody arrangements that he has say or just verbally to him.? He’s just getting back at you through what he can do with her. If court ordered take him back and show them the realities.
Just take back your power as her mother and do what you think is best for her
Please go back and talk to an attorney about doing what’s best for the child because he’s doing what he is in spite of you leaving him
Call your lawyer or do it yourself but file a motion for hearing. present your case. ALLLLLL of it to be done once and for all. Document every single word, action, response everything. Only speak through attorneys, or through text, etc. you’ll basically have to redo everything but you can, and if you go there with everything let out and evidence, documentation, and proof to back it all up you’ll be fine. But do this so as not to end up back here again. Everyone tries to be nice, but it always ends up here.
Answer to your question is yes and go to your lawyer.
She is 4! You can also follow up at home. Yes, talk to an attorney. But, is this the hill you want to die on? There are a multitude of learning devises and educational programs on the internet.
You get a lawyer and you go back to court and fight for what’s best. Do the research on the schools and be prepared. She has to go to the public school that she resides in. If y’all are paying for private then you’ll def need a lawyer.
Go back to court and modify your parenting agreement
Stay strong. Consider seeing a therapist to talk to. Was the best thing for me. Also contact a lawyer, they usually offer a free hour to discuss your matters. Can be a great way to learn your options.
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Sweetie, you got to go back to courts and let them know you were and why you didn’t speak up. Get a good lawyer - you might start with getting information regarding the school he wants and the one “ you feel as a Mother” your child needs. Bad school - bad education - things are tough in this world a good education can make it a little easier and since you are going to send your child to college - you want to give her the proper tools to do this. 
it’s all about what’s best for your child - not what’s convenient for the parent.
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Time to go to social services in your area
Get a lawyer and find out what you can do.