My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and we are so good together. We have a 6 month old daughter and I have my 5 year old daughter from a past relationship. Every single time my boyfriend doesn’t like something that I do with our 6 month old or my 5 year old he goes running to his mommy to tell her everything. For example: my mom has onset Alzheimer’s and isn’t left alone with my kids. My sisters or myself or someone else is always there if the girls go there Incase something goes wrong. My kids are my moms life and I don’t want to stop her from seeing them hurt because she has onset Alzheimer’s . so yeah he goes running to his mom every single time and then his mom calls me telling me all this stuff like my kids are hers. How do I go about telling her to mind her own business when it comes to mine and my boyfriends daughter and then my daughter without causing issues ?
First off, there is really no way to tell her to mind her business without making her mad because your guy is making it her business by reporting to her. You will have to flat out tell her to mind her business and you need to address your boyfriend and tell him it is noone else’s business but yours and his when it comes to your kids. If he wants to keep making an issue of it, then honestly I’d go file for custody of the kids and leave or tell him to leave and he can go back to mama since he’s obviously still stuck to her hip.
Set boundaries. You and bf need to have a serious sit down. Calm but firm.
This isn’t a three person relationship. He’s grown with kids. Can’t run back to mom every time.
Sometimes you need to cause an issue.
Stand your ground and be firm. There is absolutely no reason that your mom cannot have a relationship with her grandchildren simply because she has Alzheimer’s. It sounds like you’re taking the necessary steps to ensure that everyone is safe during their time together and they are building a positive relationship. That is what is important
Tell you me bfs mom that if she’s concerned, she can come on a visit and see/understand how important their time and relationship is
it’s unlikely that he will change. Your kids have to come first. There is nothing wrong with them seeing their grandma who has Alzheimer’s, as long as it’s done under supervision. The odds are that the boyfriend is never going to change. You should be number one in his life, and what happens between you two ain’t nobody’s business but your own. His mama does not need to know every detail of her son’s life. As a mother, I would be appalled if either of my sons told me intimate details of their their lives
I hate these types of situations.
It sounds like your boyfriend vents to his mom which is understandable to a point. We all need to vent.
His mom thinks it’s her job to step in instead of just listen.
Unfortunately this is a problem your boyfriend needs to fix.
He needs to explain to his mom that he is venting that he does not want or need her to do anything but listen.
Remind his mother that when those children of yours were created your absolutely positive she was NOT involved so but out! The tell boyfriend the raising of those children are you and his responsibility and if he can’t respect that then he can pack up and really run to Mommy!
If it’s something that truly bothers him, then he needs to discuss it with you. Telling his mom is only going to create a bad relationship with you two. And as for mil, they are YOUR children, simply ignore her or let her know respectfully they are your children and you would never have them in harms way. Who you decide to have around them is none of her concern
Understand you have some one there to help if your mom runs into issues, i did the very same with my mom but it was with my grandchildren, she loved those kids so much but we couldnt leave her alone with them not because she would harm them she had dementia but we always had the kids around her because it made her happy and they had a great bond with her
Be firm and advocate for yourself. If he can’t communicate with you but can run to his mom- you deserve better. Remind her that you give birth to them and they are yours not hers. Set boundaries with your husband if he can’t respect them then do whatever brings you peace.
Your problem isn’t her…its your boyfriend.
Everything…you wrote after and including…’ every single time he doesn’t like…'…is screaming evidence that no, you aren’t ’ so good together ‘…
You know it. You see it. You are rightly angry AT HIM… and it shows saying …’ he runs off to mommy '…to blab and tell your business.
It’s easy…to blame her, and she is a p.i.a, but you are distracting from the real issue.
You can tell her… to mhob…but you need some serious personal reconsideration and communication with him about HIS behaviours…because that…is at the core of your problems in this whole mess.
Mature men…do not do this and handle issues in their own homes this way.
You got issues to deal with alright…with him.
Setting boundaries will cause issues but it’s something that needs to be done. Focus less on her reaction and focus more on informing her about your boundaries.
Well first it’s more the boyfriend needs to emotionally detach himself from his mother or it’s never going to change …. Fyi he’s emotionally attached to his mommy and his mommy is emotionally attached to him…. Leave now or it’s gonna feel like he is married to her and not you
Simply say when you would like to talk to me about things that are your business call me back. Hang up.
My first husband started this when we were first married,I told him I’m not your mother if you want to live with your mom, go live with her,it shut him up
Tell that woman that baby came out of you and that you will parent the baby how u want and I would set your boyfriend straight to because if not in the future it will cause problems not when it’s just comes to kids
Discuss privacy between the 2 of you, maybe a councilor would help.I can’t believe they would cut your Mom out of kids life for this, remind them his Mother could have stroke or change in mental status and you would still let her interact, He’ll she could have a car wreck. Stand your grown your Mom needs you
He is the problem, not her. She is merely doing his bidding for him by harassing you. Dollars to doughnuts says HE is the one with the true problem. Getting to the root of his problem is the first step. Good luck.
You suck it up, and say the words… Clear, respectful, and direct communication goes a long way.
Simple mind your business 
He needs to stop running to her. If he can’t communicate with you the relationship in doomed.
If she isn’t left alone like you said I would tell his mom to mind her own!
Tell her straight out what you do with YOUR kids is none of her business. Talk to him about running to his mother too. Maybe you should move out with your girls. You don’t need that stress of having every action critised. At least if you weren’t living with him he wouldn’t know everything.
Hang up on her. Stop entertaining any conversations where she acts like her opinion means anything. Tell her it’s none of her business, and hang up.
Tell her to stay on her own lane. She raised her children.
Your man sounds like he’s still attached to the tit.
He needs to leave his mommy out of shit.
My mother had Huntingtons…my children were her favorite part of every day. Please do not allow them to cause the pain your mother will endure. Don’t listen to that woman one bit. Stand your ground. Tell her she’s nuts. Your children are your children.
Tell her thank you so much for her concern and that if she were to have the same problems ,you would still bring the children to see her.
I’d tell her to mind her own.These are not her children.If my mother had Alzheimer’s,I’d be doing the same.My fil had Alzheimer’s and I brought my kids to see him at the nursing home.I am a firm believer that bringing kids around Alzheimer’s patients,helps keep their mind steady so to speak.
Easy… tell her to stay in her own lane.
She tells you your kids are hers? Wtf
He has to stop going to her and telling her everything.
Prayers for your boyfriend and your Mother’s health. ! Godbless you Amene
Ya don’t ya cause issues!
Tell your boyfriend to grow up. Tell his mother to back off, your mom is not her business
That would not fly with me at all. Especially if this has happened multiple times that he knows she’s going to call you and start shit. I would cut both them out to be honest. Obviously he can have a relationship with his children. But his relationship with you is not a given and he doesn’t get to use his mother to bully you to do what he wants. Plain and simple I would tell him if this keeps happening you will not have a relationship with him.
Yoir issue is not with her but with the boyfriend-
Tell her to mind her fucking business. They’re your kids and they will never be her’s and she has no say in anything and has no right to speak on your parenting choices if the kids aren’t in danger. You need to tell him to cut it out. Either he stops or he doesn’t. If he doesn’t you have two options: leave him or deal with it.
Just like that mind your own business
Is your boyfriend sleeping with his mom? Cause he keeps bringing her into the relationship. If he has an issue with you he needs to talk to you and not mommy deary, make that clear to him. If he keeps going through her tell her you will listen to all complaints through the complainer and not through third party then hang up. Keep doing it till message is received but thank bfs mom for trying to help and let her know you want to be on good grounds with her
Cause an issue. Those are your children everything else comes second.
Literally just put your foot down and tell her they are your children not her. AND tell your husband to grow a backbone and stop being a mama’s boy
Tell boyfriend to quit running to mommy.
So just don’t answer the phone when his mom calls… don’t participate in the conversation…
You tell your boyfriend to control his mother