What Should I Say to My Stepdaughter Who Told Me She Got a Vape?

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"My stepdaughter, 15, mentioned that a friend at school gave her a vape. Should I say something, she always tells me to let it be between us on things. I'm worried, this time. Cuz aren't they dangerous??"

RELATED: I’m Pregnant and Trying to Quit Vaping: Any Advice?


The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"I think that if she isn’t using it, like her friend just gave it to her but she hasn’t tried it, maybe let it go. To a point. I would talk with her because trust is highly valuable at that age, and it’s good that she has that with you. Don’t lose it. Tell her your feelings on vaping and let her know, that Bc it is a health issue, that if she uses it (or any others obv), you will have to talk with her dad. But be clear that you don’t want to break her trust, so she needs to do the same and keep her promise to not vape. That way you’re being upfront with her, but also letting her know that you’re more than a friend. Good luck momma!"

"I used to vape before pregnancy. Warn her about the liquids that can be inside them - THC can get you high, nicotine is addictive and bad for your health. if it’s just flavored, with no nicotine, it’s presumed to be fine but there isn’t a study of long-term effects. See if she knows where her friend got the liquid from. vapes in the US have been linked to popcorn lung but not in Europe. Even if it’s just flavor it’s illegal to purchase and use if you are under 18. Teenagers will do illegal stuff now and then. they just will. make sure they know the risks involved"

"There are certain things that don’t qualify for ‘just between us’. Not only is it unhealthy, it is illegal for her to be in possession of it. She can get in trouble with the police as well as her school."

"Are you cool with her smoking cigarettes or weed? Having copd sucks! I’m 28 and have copd and I’m on oxygen 24/7 now and have no life anymore. And it’s painful. Kids don’t need to be smoking anything imo"

"I’d keep it between you two. I know it's an unpopular opinion but she came to you and I assume didn’t use it. If you tell, is she going to keep coming to you or cut you off because she feels betrayed? Btw- what a good stepmom you must be. That's a lot of trust she has in you."

"Even with juice with no nicotine it still coats the lungs and damages them."

"She at the age where it’s common to start with experimenting… I would wait till y’all are in private and talk to her about it. Find out if she has already done it and if so how many times… and talk to her about the dangers of it… so she is still comfortable coming to you but let her know that you will need to let her father know about it but let her know that you and she have talked about it and etc."

"Yes she shouldn't be vaping, yes you should keep it between you and her (she will respect and trust you more) make sure she understands the harm of vape"

"Well, it’s definitely a good sign she told you, that makes me think she isn’t using the vape herself. She came to you with trust. If it’s not a life-threatening matter, I’d keep it between the 2 of you. Like others commented above, would she still trust you with big things if she finds out you told about this?"

"This is where the addiction to nicotine starts. Once she keeps “trying” it, she might not be able to stop. You need to talk to her about that fact for sure. Tell her to start noticing all the people that are vaping, they are addicted. And don’t trust the fact that the kids say it’s just juice with no nicotine, that is most likely not true. And further, some vapes will be made with weed. So there’s that too. Keep it between the two of you as a trust thing, but if you see she is not taking your advice, time to bring in dad and birth mom. Don’t wait a long time to do so though. Nip this risky behavior in the bud."

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